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Oops50: What to Do?


Since Oops50 is a site about and for women over 50, I have to tell you that I am usually not aware of how old I am.  That’s why I don’t write about menopause, aches and pains, hot flashes, sharing the best face cream to take years off my face, etc.  OK, once in a while I notice something new, like jowls, and I have to write about it, but really, I  don’t think there is anything to be done about it except to be aware of my mind freaking out at times, and just accepting what is.

When I first started to develop breasts and have a period, I didn’t think I could change it; I just accepted it and didn’t really dwell on it.  It was also a change, and it was kind of weird, just like menopause.

I could also share what I heard the latest date on Rapture is (I think it’s the end of May now), how I feel about the radiation levels all over the planet, or how the Oxford English Dictionary added a lot of new words and phrases, including OMG and LOL (which I thought meant “lots of love” and now know it means, “laughing out loud”!).

Instead, I’d like to share one of my favorite recipes that is easy and very delicious.  When you read it, it’s going to sound complicated, but believe me, it’s not!  And not only will you be glad you tried this recipe, but you will feel like a genius and your loved ones who eat these will also look at you in a better way.


Now you could just go buy some frozen puff pastry dough from the supermarket, but when you make this just once, why would you waste gas, and money, to get something that is filled with junk that is poison for your body?

Sadhvi’s Swiss Almond “Gipfeli”* (croissant)

The recipe for the pastry dough:

2 cps. Flour (I use King Arthur’s All Purpose Organic White Flour)

3/4 t. Salt…put all this is a bowl and whisk to mix.

Take 1 stick + 1 T. cold Organic Butter (and not Land ‘o Lakes), cut in pieces, and by hand, blend it and squeeze it and think good thoughts while doing so.  Think of your loving grandma, think all good wishes, think that you are making this for all the hungry people in the world, and imagine that everyone that eats it will be filled with love and happiness, and that will spread all over the planet.

Add…1/2 cup = 1 T. Sour Cream, or Yogurt, or Quark, and mix quickly into a ball…don’t knead!

Flatten in a ball in a bowl and put it in the fridge for a half hour.

Take out of fridge and roll out on a floured surface into a rectangle, about a half inch thick.  Bring the 2 shortest sides to the middle, and brush off any flour with brush or hands.  Cover with a t-towel and let it rest in the fridge for a 1/2 hour.

Now roll out the dough so that the short ends are now the long sides, and take fold the ends so that the top short end is folded under and the bottom short end  is folded under the bottom in the opposite direction than the top.  It sounds complicated, but really, just follow the instuctions.

Put it in the fridge again, covered, for another 30 minutes.

Now you want to make the filling:

2 cups ground Almonds

4 T. Apricot Jam

4 T. Milk…mix all these in a bowl, and add the grated rind of…

1 Organic Lemon

Line a baking pan with some parchment paper.

Preheat over on middle rack to 425F.

Take the dough out and divide in half, and make 2 balls.  Roll out one on a floured surface into a circle. Take a knife and cut into 8 triangular pieces…like you are cutting a pizza.

Spoon about 1 T. of the Almond filling along the outer rim, and brush some Milk or beaten egg mixture along the edges.

Roll each triangle from the wide end to the tip, making sure to lay on baking sheet this tip side down.

Brush with Egg or Milk mixture before putting in over.

Bake for around 18 minutes.

While waiting, mix 3 T. Powdered Sugar and 1/2 t. Lemon Juice in a little coffee cup.

When the Swiss Almond “Gipfeli” or croissants come out of the oven, brush this  mixture on top.

Let cool, and…enjoy!


p.s. “Gipfeli” is a Swiss word for the top of a mountain!

Ask Johanna: On Husbands

We hope this month’s “Ask Johanna”  will resonate with many of our readers.  (There is something about being over 50 that makes us just a tad less patient with our spouses.)

Dear Johanna,

My husband is on Oxycotin for pain, following surgery on his back.  I don’t know if it’s the drugs or him, but he is driving me crazy.  I have been busting my butt cooking for him and preparing restaurant-quality meals, and here is a typical response:  “Boy, this shrimp is tough.  What did you do to it?”  Or, in response to fresh collard greens, sautéed in olive oil, garlic, and ginger:  “These collard greens are chewy!”  I’m trying to be loving and understanding and, since he’s totally immobilized, I’ve stopped myself short of screaming, “Why don’t you cook for yourself or order out?!!!”—but my patience is wearing thin.  Am I being overly sensitive?

Frustrated in Phoenix

Dear Frustrated, I say get him a feeding tube and go dancin’!  Or, if that seems harsh, how about upping the dose of his oxycotin just one night and letting him drift happily into dreamland while you get yourself away from that kitchen?!

Dear Johanna,

My husband is starting another new business—for the 10th time—and it is taken all of our resources.  We’ve used up all of our savings, and there is nothing left.  Yesterday, he said, “I wish I had an extra $3,000—I could really make this business into something.”  I held out my arms and said, “Here, take my last vein!  You want me to give plasma for money?” Tell me, Johanna, was I being too mean?  I want to be a supporting wife, but I have nothing left!

Vehement in Virginia

Dear Vehement, I’d say you’ve done well to have been so nice to him through 9 other ventures!  And, besides, I’m not big on being the perfect wife.  Whenever I try to be one, all I end up with is a giant knot in my stomach—which can only be untangled by a good, cathartic blow-up at my husband.  I recommend it!  It releases stress.  It clears the air.  It may even make you like him again.  Go for it!

Dear Johanna,

My husband insists that he is not hard of hearing and does not need a hearing aid, but every time he watches something on television, he turns up the volume so loud that I’m surprised the neighbors don’t come over to watch the game with him! What can I do?

Going Deaf in Detroit

Dear Deaf, Don’t even try to convince him that he’s deaf.  Just get him one of those wonderful sets of wireless headphones with adjustable volume.  Then, he can turn up his own volume, while you sit happily watching the t.v. at your own, comfortable level.  And, if the store clerk happens to mention that the headphones are tailor-made for deaf people, so be it!