Tag Archives: womenover50humor

Laugh Lines: A Rare Medical Condition

A RARE MEDICAL CONDITION

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane.

The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, and then visibly shuddered for ten or fifteen seconds.

The man went back to reading his book.

A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently.

Although assuming the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering.  A few minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again.

As before she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, “I couldn’t help but notice that you have sneezed three times, wiped your nose, and then shuddered violently.  Are you okay?”

The woman replied, “I am sorry if I disturbed you.  I have a rare medical condition.  Whenever I sneeze, I have an orgasm.”

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious and asked, “I have never heard of that condition before.  Are you taking anything for it?”

The woman nodded and said, “Yes, black pepper”.

Laugh Lines: The Bridge

THE BRIDGE

A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, God said, “Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”

The biker pulled over and said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.”

God replied, “Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take!  I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.  Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.”

The biker thought about it for a long time.

Finally, he said, “God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”

God replied, “You want 2 lanes or 4 lanes on that bridge?”

Sadhvi Sez: Thank You Johnny Carson!

SADHVI

As a women over 50, the time has come where all I crave is Artisana’s Raw Organic Coconut Butter and laughter.  Items that are newsworthy are so bizarre these days that to write about what feels important to pass along is absurd.  So this week, I thought I would share an old Johnny Carson skit that made me chuckle and feel good.  I hope it does the same for you – enjoy!

Women over 50 Humor!

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.  

For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen.  Aleve is also called Naproxen.  Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen. 

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.  After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.  Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin. 

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.  It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.  Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of “cocktails”, “highballs” and just a good old-fashioned “stiff drink”.  Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO. 

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research.  This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them!