Menopause, Facial Hair, and Accepting What IS


Being a woman over 50, I thought I might want to write something about Menopause every now and again.  It isn’t taboo, but I think that for me it’s just been so intense that I don’t know what to say.

Really.  I mean, who wants to hear someone write about how they don’t know who they are anymore?   Besides, I have a funny feeling that dealing with this Change is kind of like trying to find the “perfect  bra”, having the “perfect job”, or communicating clearly with my husband: there really isn’t an answer, it’s just a mystery and a challenge to be lived on a daily basis!

Not only is there the pressure to look good these days, to be thin enough not to be considered “fat”, to not be negative, but rather positive, to be politically and socially correct, to work out or do some sort of Yoga or Pilates to stay in shape as I get older, but every morning there’s the challenge of facial hair.

Susun Weed

I have a book, “New Menopausal Years, The Wise Woman Way: Alternative Approaches for Women 30-90”  that I opened from my bookshelf to see what herbalist and Wise Woman Susun Weed had to say about it: you can just click HERE to go to that information online. 

If you find the time, you should go to one of Susun’s events, and most definitely, buy any of  her books.

In a nutshell, I can tell you that it’s not going to go away and I will have to keep up with the daily maintenance of it, well, for the rest of my life.  And for everyone’s sake I really hope I don’t forget.

My mother, who is still alive, has not really spoken much about her Menopausal years to me…maybe the whole topic was as mystifying to her as it is to me now.  Mom?

In the past couple of years I have had all the symptoms associated with this Change and I am thankful that they didn’t all happen on the same day, because then I wouldn’t be writing to you via this blog post, but rather from a prison cell somewhere in Missouri.

When it gets brought up with girlfriends, there is always someone who didn’t have ANY symptoms, who is having wild sex all the time with her husband or new, younger lover, or someone who just started taking some hormones from horse urine and swears it makes her look 20 years younger.  Then there are my girlfriends who are in their 60’s who tell me that their menopausal symptoms have never gone away.  So there ya go!  It’s like I said before, it’s all a mystery.

Maybe it just comes down to accepting this new me as I get older, just as it always been throughout my life of being OK and enjoying what is, no matter what age. 

Amen, and seriously now, may you have a good night’s sleep and awake with no facial hair in the morning!

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

(Reinhold Niebuhr: American theologian 1892-1971)

About Sadhvi

Sadhvi's trying to find the balance in life over 50 without having any surgery, taking any pills, or killing anyone. She doesn't want to look or feel the way she felt when she was 20 or 30. Trusting that everything is really OK unless you think about it helps her make it through each day. Also realizing that nothing can be done, and, that nothing matters really helps. Gardening (and weeding), poppies and flowers, painting on things, baking, and sharing on Oops50 helps to make it all right too.

9 thoughts on “Menopause, Facial Hair, and Accepting What IS

  1. When I went started my menopause, I had children, ages 18, 17, 16, and 6. Now that should be enough said! But I also had a great lover….so life continued. Five years later I finally realized that this menopause was gone, as were my older children. Then my husband got so sick I thought he would not live. Being a widow once I looked for work. It took me 1 1/2 yrs to find a 40 hr./week job. Things were tough back then. Today everything is great in our lives, thankfully.

  2. Dear Va,
    I’m glad to hear that you made it through, it does give me hope.
    Thank you for sharing. And I won’t say anything if I see any stray hair, if you don’t if you see one of mine!

  3. Well, count me in as one who has been through it and still having some residuals. I had no idea how much anger I contained until I couldn’t contain it although no one has suffered physically from my reactions to irritations which for a while was almost everything. It isn’t bad now–I must have exhausted all the anger spots and I even forget to pluck chin hairs, so don’t be mean and point that out in public.

  4. As we say often: ‘Thanks for sharing’!
    Yes it is a turn in life… for me it happened so early, around 44 years old… a bummer! Now 57.
    YES it is a mystery, an unfolding mystery and somehow your sharing is received like a kind of support. I forgot about menopause and deal
    with it by now as accepting getting old, which
    is really a letting go of all that felt good
    and easy, it is more an inward delight now, a centering, but certainly not an outward confidence. Not to be seen is a main one… To
    find meaning in this mad and beautiful world as the extreme opposites just keep on getting wider and bigger.. find a balance and fulfillment through appreciating the ordinary… we are again and again asked to take an 180° turn…
    as for the hairs, it is a joke! The new
    balance with the’masculine ‘ energy within
    getting expressed also through the body!

    What a journey!! What comfort in sharing all those amazing changing inner/outer landscapes!

  5. Check out Donna Eden’s book, Energy Medicine for Women. She gives a lot of straightforward techniques for dealing with the symptoms of menopause. And I can vouch that they do work!

  6. So good to hear your comments Helen…and I really think you’ve coined a new phrase “warm waves”! It might have been around for a while, but it’s new to me. Would love to catch up sometime soon. Will give you a buzz sometime soon…

  7. I enjoyed your menopause thoughts. I’ve been in and out, mostly in.. the change for 2 yrs. When I had my first hot flash working in court..I thought something was terribly wrong and had a panic attack about it. Five thousand dollars later (ER, ct scans..ect) I found out what it was. Luckily now I just have warm waves..not awful in winter! Call me when you are coming to town, and I can show you some new stuff on Haywood Rd..just hang out. Miss you.

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