The Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-or-Treating is Better Than Sex:
10.) You’re guaranteed to get at least a little something in
9.) If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it
8.) The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7.) You don’t have to compliment the person who gives you
6.) It’s okay if the person you’re with fantasizes you’re
someone else, because you actually are.
5.) Forty years from now you’ll still enjoy candy.
4.) If you don’t like what you get, you can always go next
3.) It doesn’t matter if the kids hear you moaning and
2.) There’s a lot less guilt the morning after.
1.) You can do the whole neighborhood.