Dealing with the Bugaboo of Weight


When I stepped on the scales at my annual physical, I realized that I have gained back a large portion of the weight I lost in my weight management program a few years back.  In the face of this sad reality, I have two choices:

1)  I can feel ashamed, try to hide this news from myself, get depressed, and gain back the rest.

2)  I can admit it to myself and do something about it.

The first option is tempting because it’s so much easier, but I’m going for the second.  It’s time to face up to the facts:  after losing all that weight and being convinced I would never gain it back because it cost so much to lose it in terms of time, effort, and most of all, money, I need to realize that my issues with food run deep!

I wish was my weight!
I wish this was my weight!

Here is how I know I need help:

1)  I eat when I’m stressed.

2)  I eat when I’m happy.

3)  I eat when I’m sad.

4)  I eat when I’m mad.

5)  I eat to celebrate big changes and grieve others.

6)  On and on.

And I’m talking about over-eating here, the kind of eating where your hand is just slightly  out of the control of your brain and picks up food and puts it in your mouth even after your body has plenty of calories and nutrients. 

fork and foodSo, I’m writing about all this here, in the hope that there are others like me out there who might want to share their thoughts—in the form of a comment or a guest blog post—especially if they have found things that have helped them make big mental breakthroughs. 

Here’s my plan for tackling this:

1)  I’m going to start reading those books that have been sitting idly on my shelf, i.e. books with titles like Women, Food and God, or Feed Me, or Thin for Life. 

2)  I’m going to admit to myself that I need some therapy because I’m tired of feeling out of control and I’m tired of acting like I’m not.

3)  I’m going to take steps toward getting my body back in shape by trying to eat less and taking a beginning yoga class, since my sister-in-law and Annice both tell me that it’s great for both strengthening muscles and relieving stress.

4)  I’m going to make myself not set goals I can’t reach, and I’m not going to feel shame about any of this.  My mantra is going to be:  “You can do this.  One day at a time!”

5)  (It seems good to have a five-step plan!) Any time I make any headway, I’m going to try to make myself take a breath and pat myself on the back, since if I don’t congratulate myself on the little steps, the big steps might never happen. 

If you have reactions, please comment or send us a blog piece.  I know I can’t be the only over-50 woman who wonders how it is even possible that she is still dealing with this crap!

12 thoughts on “Dealing with the Bugaboo of Weight

  1. Jane, I wake up every day attempting to do the best I can with my food and weight issues. Most days I seem to do ok. Some days are terrible. I try each day to eat healthy and in the evening which is my worst time, practice some self talk so I won’t spend my time and energy thinking about taking that walk to the kitchen. I know that this will always be an issue for me for the remainder of my life. I have not been able to lose weight for awhile but have maintained which is better than gaining. I went back and started swimming several days a week which makes me feel good and the water is gentle on the bones. I try not to set myself up for failure with the exercise. Some weeks I go more and some I go less. Overall, do I feel I can exercise more? Eat better all the time? Yes I do, but I also need to tend to myself in other ways such as playing with my dog, reading, being with friends, watching some good tv, relaxing with my husband. BUT…I wake up every day, attempting to eat healthy and take care of myself the best I can.

  2. Good luck Jane with making what you eat your meditation. It just takes awareness of what you put in your mouth.

  3. It’s a never-ending battle, and it’s not something to feel shame about…after all, look what is in our food, look at how the way we eat is loaded with stress, at the lack of love in our food, etc.
    I wish you much luck on feeling better (notice I didn’t write “losing weight”).

  4. You are all so incredibly nice and sweet that I am overwhelmed. Thank you, Jamie, for your words-and your great idea! I love your thoughts on other things to do to reward myself. And thank you, Annice and Va. You’re great. Jane

  5. Jane–Jamie said it so right–you are great just as you are. I too need to lose some lbs. so I am gonna do what works for me which is to focus on being more aware of my choices and actually pick what feels good (as Jamie said). Be forthright with yourself and if you chose brownies enjoy them to the last crumb and don’t regret or nag. It is OK to enjoy eating. You have so many friends who love you, be sure to snack on that too.

  6. Move, walk, dance…enjoy.
    Get a FitBit (a wireless pedometer you put on your wrist), it is fun to see how many ways you can walk more to make those little lights dance telling you that your goal of 10,000 steps have been reached.
    Don’t keep those tempting foods in the house!!
    I keep my stash of milk chocolate (my nemesis) at my friend Jennifer’s house–she lives in Montford, I live in Enka. I have to be really, really desperate to knock on her door at 10 pm. But I know that it is there if I need it, even at midnight. Like a good friend.

  7. Jane,

    I like what Jamie says. Take care of yourself – that’s the deep dark secret that will take care of everything. I’m still working on that step. And remember to ask yourself, every time you take that 2nd helping or whatever is : Is this really serving my needs. And yes, YOGA is a must, especially as we age. And you ARE DOING THIS.

  8. Jane,
    I feel your pain. I have just lost 13 lbs over the last several months on Weight Watchers–3-4 more lbs to go. I love to eat and I love my wine. I am willing to go to yoga with you. I think to make the final breakthrough on those last few pounds is exercise which I know this is weird for most, but I enjoy exercising. It is simply making it a priority and fitting it into my schedule. I love to be outside and walk/run too. Let me know if you need an exercise buddy. I am willing and able.

  9. Hi Jane,
    First, I believe I have not seen you since you lost weight, BUT (and I have said this before): You are a very pretty woman with a great personality. Your frame carries weight just fine. If this were another era, you might be a goddess.
    That my small tip follows, although I think you have a very good plan:
    Make choices not necessarily to lose weight, but to FEEL GOOD physically. For example, eating a bunch of brownies probably makes you feel crummy for a while afterwards (it does for me), but sweet oranges or a steaming bowl of oatmeal with raisins and nuts and just a hint of brown sugar is yummy and will probably make you feel good. And, yoga sounds excellent, again because it makes you FEEL GOOD, not necessarily because you will lose weight (which will probably come with feeling better). Same with a walk in the sun or the rain or reading a book with a cup of tea at your side. Don’t worry about weight per se, just take good care of yourself in a healthy and sustainable manner, day by day, because you are beautiful inside and out and deserve to feel your best. (My two cents)
    And, I admire your forthrightness!<3

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