In 2009 I was ordained as a minister. I was afraid to tell my dad, who’s a staunch Irish Catholic, fearing I’d lose his love by “coming out” and stating what I was – an Interfaith minister who honored all paths to the divine that are grounded in love. However, there came a point when the need to be authentic and express my true self outweighed the fear of disharmony and potential loss of love. When we finally had the conversation, I was pleasantly surprised and greatly relieved to find he could respect my calling and still love me.
Staying in the closet isn’t just about sexual orientation, gender identification or vocation; it includes other aspects of our lives: staying in that relationship when you’re being called to leave; staying in a location when you’re called to relocate; working for an organization where you can’t express your full self.
We’re in the closet anytime we’re not fully disclosing or living the truth of who we are. It seems easier to justify staying in the closet: “It would upset so and so too much”, “I would have to change my whole life”, “What will people think?” “I’m too old to start over.”
These are excuses masking fears that come from the ego. The soul knows what it’s called to. Hopefully, at some point, the voice of your soul will trump that of your ego.
There’s a price for not heeding your soul’s callings: restlessness, resentment, depression, even illness. When you follow your soul’s call, while you may go through a period of conflict, anxiety, and judgment from others, ultimately, you’ll experience true happiness, freedom, more aliveness and peace. It’s so worth it.
How do you come out? Ask yourself: Where in my life am I not being or expressing my true self? What is the payoff from staying in the closet? What am I losing by staying here? What’s the worst that could happen if I came out, and how would I deal with that? What could be the best that would happen? Imagine you’ve come out of the closet and it’s 5 years from now. What does your life look like? Imagine it. See it, hear it, feel it. What’s the next step you can to come out now?
I know all you women over 50 will appreciate this song, so just click and sing along. I’m Coming Out – Diana Ross
Coach & Trainer
Global Leadership / Intercultural / Transformation through Transition