Category Archives: Menopause

Sadhvi Sez: OK, I get it.


On top of feeling like a crone (which I am), a lot of stuff seems to be happening to those I love and the planet.  How is one to cope with it all?  I mean, the town that some dear friend’s of mine (Tosh and Garima) live in was destroyed by a 1000-year-flood (Lyons, Colorado), another friend who is just one year older than me found out he has a couple of weeks to live after going in to the doctor’s to see about a bump on his head, if I think of the economy I get really nervous, and and and.

I try to not be negative, I really do.  And even when I think I am helping the planet by sending FB friends a petition to sign that I feel might make a difference, it can backfire:

“Please STOP sending me all of these causes…. Thank you I have my own causes….. I have unfriended you and still I am getting them….. because I am a friend of a friend of mine…. I am so sick of being bombarded with every bad piece of news out there ….people are just going numb ….to it all…. Everyone knows that everything is f—-d,,,, I think its time to start spreading a little joy instead of all of this fear……”

Ajita, I truly am sorry, and I get the cosmic message because I won’t be sending out any more petitions to be signed to stop Monsanto, have GMO’s labeled, or to try to get the world governments to join in to help the Fukishima disaster, I promise!

Instead, I am going to start to write posts with things that I am liking, and not just my favorite lipstick (which used to be Chanel because of the way it glided on my lips, plus the smell was a wonderful, subtle rose frangrance but is now some weird smell that makes me feel like I’ve put some sort of cheap air freshener on – yuck!).

It’s funny, but when I started writing for this blog many years ago, I was only going to share what makes me happy.  I guess I started to get a little too personal; call it the “FB” sydrome of thinking I should “share” everything.  It’s a sickness and I know the cure.

So what am I liking right now?  It’s the 21-Day Mantra Meditation Journey with Deva Premal and Miten.  I have loved singing since way back when we went to Catholic mass every week.  I can’t think of anything that I would rather be doing.  Chanting to the divine is just, well, divine, and I had forgotten about it and the places it takes me.

Take a look at the clip below, and if you’re interested, click here to jump in.

Thank You Deva and Miten!


Sadhvi Sez: Good-bye FaceBook


I just deleted my FaceBook account, which oddly enough, was not so easy.  Actually my account will not really be deleted for another two weeks. FaceBook wants me to be sure, so that in case I change my mind and feel the urge to log in and see what any of my 597 “friends” are posting, then I will be “reactivated”.

You might be wondering, what prompted this?

Well, it’s been building up…this kind of feeling of wanting to pull the plug.

For starters, I hate that there is no privacy any more on the web, and especially with having a FaceBook account.  Then I recently got my yahoo account hacked into, which ticked me off, wondering why would anyone want to do this kind of thing?  And then during the Holiday season, I kept seeing ads for places I visited on the web and especially while on FaceBook.  And then there are my friends with smart phones: the reception is not the best, so either I can’t hear them, or they can’t hear me very well, and often we are cut off and that is the end of that “cool”connection!   Misspelled smart phone emails are so common-place that I seriously wonder if anything matters anymore.

Oh, and you and I can now be arrested without a warrant and put in jail indefinitely without a trial date.  This is to protect us from something…ummm, what was it again?  Oh yeah.  Terrorists.

So for me there are many reasons.  And if something feels very overwhelming, bothersome and not much fun for very long, and if I’ve had one too many constitutional rights taken away in the last couple of years, something has got to change!


So no more cool ways to connect for me.  Goodbye to Linkedin, to Google+, to all the other ways of connecting that I never could get into: Twitter, texting, & yes, Pinterest too.  God I feel better just writing this!

It’s time to spend less time on the computer, and more time with my dog and husband.  And doing things I love, like painting.

I will continue to write for Oops50 every Friday, and will do so until I no longer enjoy it.

I don’t have the boundless energy I once had, but I still have enough to draw and form boundaries of what is good for me and what isn’t.

Thank you menopause for making this all possible.

I think being a woman over 50 , a crone, an elder even, is going to be just fine.

Oh, in case any of my FB friends want to contact me, my email is:

Unmillo's Hibiscus



Driving Myself Crazy by Worrying Too Much


I’ve been worrying too much lately.  It’s not good for me.  I do most of it at night, when the lights are out, and I wake up at 3 am, unable to sleep.  My worries run the gamut, but they always start with my 4 children: from my daughter in Africa (Will she catch some horrible disease from an errant mosquito?) to my son on a farm in New York (Will he survive another 105 degree day of digging up garlic plants?) to my other daughter at a blue grass concert in Connecticut (Will she be caught in a stampeding crowd of drunken concert-goers?) to my daughter here, safe under my roof (Will she be able to handle this upcoming year in high school,  with her 3 sports teams and band and outside-of-school activities?) to my job (Will I get everything done that is sitting on my desk?) to our finances (Never mind) to my health (Will I keep gaining weight or become an obese elderly woman that people pity and scorn?) to politics (Will Obama survive this nightmare? Will our economy? Will the world?) to religion (Is there a God out there listening?) back to my children (Why didn’t I brush their teeth more often?  Damn those stupid fruit roll-ups that I thought were healthy!  We won’t be able to afford the next 8 years of college!  Do they have what they need to make it in the world after college? which leasds to:  Did I give them any kind of spiritual basis to help them deal with their futures?)  You get my drift.  This is where things tend to go rapidly down hill into complete negativity.  I’m sure I don’t need to put examples here.  I’m sure most women over 50 know the kind of negative thinking you can do at 3 a.m., given a little energy and inclination!



I’ve heard from a very reputable source that you can create negative channels of thinking in your brain if you keep thinking the same negative thoughts—that you actually wear paths so that your negative thoughts become the easy trail through the woods that has the most markers!  They say that your job is to stop those negative thoughts by wearing new paths.

I’m working on it.  I’m trying to make myself say positive things to myself whenever I can: “The kids are healthy, and they have great teeth that they inherited from their grandmother!” or  “It doesn’t matter that your house is a pigpen!  You’re  too busy getting your priorities straight to clean that back room!” or  “You have willpower of iron!  You are getting thinner every day!” or “The world is not falling into a heap of total and complete ruin, no matter how much the signs point to that scenario!”

As I said, I’m working on it.  But it’s hard. Continue reading Driving Myself Crazy by Worrying Too Much

Great Product for Women over 50: Sleep Aid

Great Products for Women over 50:  Sleep Aid

I don’t usually give plugs, but today I am singing the virtues of Sleep Aid.


For the past five to six years, I have had trouble staying asleep.  No problem with getting to sleep:  I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, usually with my glasses still on my nose and words still tumbling out of my mouth.  (Tom loves talking to me in bed at night:  it’s a special time for us.) But then I wake up at 3 a.m. or so—always close to 3—with my thoughts racing—and a horrible, overwhelming feeling of despair.  I try to go back to sleep, but I usually find that I can’t, since 1) I am a terrible mother 2) Tom and I are utter failures at being successful grown-ups 3) my children will live in places close to the coast and they will drown under the ocean that is rapidly rising due to global warming or 4) nuclear war will obliterate us all—including every last trace of anything that anyone, even Shakespeare, ever created—and the lone and level sands of “Ozymandias” will stretch far away.


So, I usually give up and bound out of bed, thinking that since I can’t sleep, I might as well do something productive, like start tackling War and Peace or folding the five weeks of unfolded laundry or putting pictures in photo albums—all of which leads me, in a panic about not getting 8 good hours of sleep, to lie down on the couch in front of the tv and watch animal rescue stories or interviews with slimy doctors giving sex advice—which depresses me again and validates my worst fears about the future of our civilization.

So, I haven’t been too happy about this state of affairs—especially since it has often resulted in my head banging down on my desk at work at about 2 p.m., typing an endless row of b’s and v’s (this seems to be where my forehead connects most often with my keyboard).   It’s a miserable condition.

Until recently, I just figured this was my lot in life, since I am apparently one of those women that hits menopause and never sleeps through the night again.  It seemed like a logical tradeoff for never having hot flashes.  When I wasn’t blaming it on menopause, I couldn’t help but see it as a consequence of all those nights of interrupted sleep from getting up with babies and young children—but this kind of thinking was not helpful.  It just made me bitter and twisted thinking about my friends who didn’t have children—and how their faces look so relaxed and unwrinkled at this age.  Better to blame menopause, since it comes to everyone.

In any case, I thought I just had to grin and bear it—another pleasant little surprise on my womanly journey through life that men like my soundly sleeping husband would–bless their little deprived hearts—never get to experience.

Sort of like childbirth.

Then, my wonderful friend, Maggi, told me about Sleep Aid.

I realize this blogpost is sounding like a commercial.  Too bad.  I can’t help it:  I love this product!  I worship it!  It has changed my life!  And—at least according to my limited research (their website)—it is neither harmful nor dangerous!

Here’s how it works:  I pop one in, right before getting into bed at night, and then I sleep.  I actually sleep.  I don’t wake up at 3 a.m.  I don’t even wake up at 5 when our 11-year-old dog barks her fool head off at the paper boy.  I just sleep, blissful and oblivious.

I do have some knowledge of the product.  I can tell you that is a mild antihistame that you can buy off the shelf at Sam’s Club—I’m sure there must also be a version (probably with a different name) at your local drugstore.

But here’s the best part:  it doesn’t work like a sleeping pill.  So you don’t wake up groggy.  Or drugged.  You  just feel rested—and ready to take on anything.

So, if anyone out there knows of any potential long-term side effects, please let me know.

Or not.

Sadhvi Sez: Finding the Balance through Sound


My husband’s iPhone flashed an alert last night while we were sitting on the front porch, cooling off from a hot work day, drinking a beer.  Some sort of App that he has that sends reports when they come in, no doubt.  That alert said that a chunk of the sun had spewed out into space, and that some of it was going to be hitting the earth and cause possible electromagnetic disturbances.  Maybe today.  And nothing more about when, where, or what that will mean.  I don’t have an iPhone, and I don’t watch Fox news or any TV, so I wouldn’t have known.  Hmmm, maybe it IS better to not know about everything, cuz I was wondering about that all day.

Even if I don’t want to know about “THE BIZARRE INTENSE NEWS OF THE MOMENT”, I keep hearing about it.  There’s something or someone telling you the latest thing that JUST happened, or is about to happen, that is kind of mind blowing.  I mean, really, an electromagnetic storm?  What does that mean???

So when I  stumble upon things that I find quite amazing, to keep the balance, I like to share them.

This week’s “finding the balance” share is Eric Whitacre‘s most amazing project with a virtual choir.

So do yourself a favor: click below and bliss out,