Ask Johanna: Wrinkles

Dear Johanna, my face is turning into a mass of wrinkles. It’s as if I went to bed one night and woke up the next morning looking like a dried-up prune. Any suggestions?

Wrinkled in Wrenville

Dear Wrinkled,

First of all, I happen to like wrinkles, as I have previously stated in this column. I see them as badges of honor on the battlefield of life! However, if you insist on trying to get rid of them, here are some suggestions:

1) open your mouth wide and close it again, several times a day–that stretches the skin around your mouth

2) rub your cheeks with some kind of lotion before going to bed each night

3) and this is the best of all: get some congealed chicken fat and rub it on your skin–it does wonders for your skin and, even better, it really turns on men over 50 (who get excited over anything smelling like KFC).

Best of luck! Johanna

By the way, the chicken fat solution also works well for younger women–who are having trouble with engorgement while breastfeeding. I can testify that it works beautifully at rubbing away any hard, stopped-up places and gets the milk flowing. And babies like the taste!!!

 

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