Tag Archives: women’s humor

SENIORS WHO SPELL

Audrey Fischer Partington
Audrey Fischer Partington

They came from all over the county to participate in a Senior Spelling Bee, sponsored by the Friends of the Montgomery County (Maryland) Public Library.

But this was not a competition for high school seniors. Competitors were seniors citizens. You know, the generation born before spell check. The folks who learned to read phonetically, and who memorized rules like “i before e, except after c, or when sounding like ay as in neighbor or sleigh.”

Yes, those seniors.

Some came in wheelchairs from a nearby assisted living facility. What they lacked in physical ability they made up for in mental agility. A few were retired English teachers. But what they had in common was the love of words and libraries.

“Public libraries are one of the best things about America,” said a competitor whose first language was not English.

Senior Spelling Bee
Senior Spelling Bee

The joy of browsing the library shelves may be lost on younger generations for whom “googling” too often replaces a visit to the library.

Another lost art is etymology (word origins). Contestants not only asked for words to be repeated, defined or use in a sentence, but their place of origin, which can provide clues to their correct spelling.

Phonics and etymology have been replaced with … “magic spelling.” My daughter was introduced to this approach when she started first grade in 1992.  In a desire to get young children comfortable with writing, teachers told them not to worry about spelling correctly.

Okay. That made some sense, but why not at least correct the misspelled words for the child’s edification? Unfortunately, the writing and spelling methodologies of the day childwithtrophycoincided with the self-esteem movement. You know, “No Child Left Without a Trophy.”

And also lost to posterity is cursive writing. How are future historians going to decipher primary source documents written in cursive?

Oh, of course, they’ll be an app for that!

 

 

Audrey:  I’m a writer-editor with nearly 35 years spent working in the federal government. When I think I began working for the government at the tail end of the Carter administration, it really does seem like a lifetime ago. In a way, it was a lifetime ago. I’ve since married and raised a wonderful daughter with my husband, with whom I now share our empty nest. Our baby bird flew across the pond to live with her British husband. So, to keep up with her life, I got on Facebook, where I have since reconnected with many old friends from my childhood in Brooklyn, New York, as well as from my other walks of life. Most recently, I had the joy of reconnecting with Annice, who launched this blog. It should feel like a lifetime ago since we met in our twenties, but happily, it’s like time never passed. That’s one of the secrets of getting older—the face and body may change, but at heart you may remain very much the same.

 

 

Sadhvi Sez: Saying Good-bye to 2012

It’s that time of the year again, where everyone is looking back, and letting everyone in on the best of, the most popular (viral) videos watched on YouTube, the best movies, the best books, the best of this and the best of that. You know what I’m talking about.

I won’t be letting you in on my favorite anything, except, just one; this is my favorite email that came from a friend…take a look:

 

 

It turns out that the friend who sent this to me is not into FaceBook. I know what you’re thinking, “Now who doesn’t like FB?” Well, it turns out that there are a lot of people who don’t. When I ask those folks why, they usually all respond with the same reason:  they just don’t like everyone to know what they are up too, nor do they care what their “friends” are doing. Even the ones that do are in a love-hate relationship with it. Unless you are just in love with it!

You see it seems like everyone is doing their own thing these days, which I like. The world didn’t end, but something feels different. Maybe it is the New Age where mankind does not live in fear of things, and accepts each other just the way they are; what a wonderful world that would be!

I want to wish everyone a Wonderful New Year ahead…I have a feeling it’s going to be a good one.

P.S. If you are on FB, go like our page before the year is up…you don’t want to have that on your list of “Things to Do in 2013”.  Thank You!

SADHVI

We Suck at Contests

Annice

In late August, Oops50 launched our first ever contest giving away two copies of the book, Master Class: Living Longer, Stronger and Happier by Peter Spiers, about creative retirement. And guess what? No one entered. No one. That translates to We suck at contests. So, I ask myself, is it just our failure at Oops50 to launch a contest or is it that we women baby boomers can’t get excited about a how-to-book on retirement?  Believe me, I wish we could give way a week-end for two at Shoji Retreats, an outdoor Japanese style hot tub and massage spa in the beautiful mountains of Asheville, North Carolina. But, honestly girls, we’re just not there yet.

Shoji

Ironically, since our miserable failure in promoting on-line contests, I happened to receive a link about that very subject from a Facebook friend. It seems, we need to hire James Wedmore who knows how to create kick-butt videos because the best on-line contests involve YouTube videos. Who knew? So, for all you out there contemplating a contest, the top 3 lessons are:

1. Motivate your audience. Oops, failed miserably.
The trick is to create an incentive that is strong enough to encourage your audience to take the time and effort to create a video. You don’t have to give away a new car, but a free supply of your product would be a great start.

2. Give customers a voice. Oops, do women over 50 go on YouTube a lot?
Start by uploading your own video to your YouTube channel explaining the rules and other details of your contest. Contestants can then upload their entries by leaving a “video response” under your video. A YouTube contest not only can provide value to your audience, but also show that you’re listening to them. You want to give your audience a voice so they can express themselves and not simply promote your business.

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3. Cash in on the social capital. Oops!
If contestants know that views, likes and shares are key to winning, they will reach out to their friends for support — effectively spreading awareness about your brand at the same time. You also can encourage contestants to tap into their social networks to cast votes in your contest.

So, until we can figure out all of the above, we decided to give the books away to two of our faithful followers: Sal from Nevada and Jean and Va from Sheville.org.

Until our next contest…I’m signing off.

Ask Johanna: Husbands, Frustration, and Food Addiction

Dear Johanna,

My husband never seems to remember what I have said to him.  For instance, if I tell him I want him to take the garbage out, he nods his head and smiles at me, as if he knows what I’m saying and is going to jump right up and do my bidding.  But then, hours go by and the garbage is still sitting there, lonely.  How do I know if he is hard of hearing or has Alzheimer’s?

Ignored in Ithaca

Dear Ignored,

If  he doesn’t remember you telling him that dinner is on the table, he may need to get his ears checked.  If he wanders around the neighborhood in his boxer shorts, it’s Alzheimer’s.  If  he hears you when you tell him the game is starting on t.v. but doesn’t hear you when you ask him to unstop the toilet, he’s a man who has been married more than five years.

Dear Johanna,

Lately I am eating all the time.  I pig out at meals.  I sneak out for ice cream in the afternoon at work.  And, worst of all, I suddenly find myself standing in front of the refrigerator in the middle of the night, a bagel with cream cheese in one hand and Oreos in the other!  My husband is starting to say that I am  a food addict.  What do I do?

Fat in Florida

Dear Fat,

You go to your doctor right away and tell him/her you are not sleeping well and need Ambien.  Then you tell your husband you’ve been taking Ambien for the past few months, and apparently it has caused you to exhibit strange behaviors around food.  Works like a charm! 

Dear Johanna,

I am afraid I no longer love my husband, but I’m too tired to make any changes in my life.  I already have a separate bedroom.  I’ve told him we can’t communicate, so there is no use even trying to talk any more.  The other day, he fell down, and I kicked him–and felt no guilt.  Is this normal at my age?  I’m 65.

Anxious in Anchorage

Dear Anxious,

Your reactions may be a little extreme, but I get where you’re coming from.  I hear that in some cultures, once women are past childbearing age, they all live together happily–and boot the husbands out.  I don’t think that idea would fly in America, but I hear you, sister!  But no more kicking!  Just make him a “man cave” where he can go watch TV and drink beer while you hang out with girlfriends.  You’re much less likely to end up in jail!

Johanna

 

Second Attempt: Tequila Holiday Cake Recipe

Annice

This is one of my favorite recipe’s from my dear friend Va at Sheville.org.  I tried to make this Tequila Christmas Cake recipe for Chanukah again this year, but it didn’t work out so well.  So, I’m trying again for New Year’s Day.  Here goes:

 Ingredients 

.
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1 cup water
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar  Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle Jose Cuervo tequila
2 cups dried fruit
.

Sample the tequila to check quality.  Take a large bowl; check the tequila again to be  sure it is of the highest quality.  Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.  Add 1 teaspoon of sugar.  Beat again.  At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK.  Try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.  Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck iin the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor.  Mix on the turner.  If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity.  Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.  Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon ice strain your nuts.  Add one table.  Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.  Turn the cake tin 360s and try not to fall over.  Don’t forget to beat off the turner.  Finally, throw the bowl through the window.  Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.

Too Much Tequila

Pahhpy New Gears!