I think my brain has about a 20-30 year lag time, since that seems to be how long it takes it to catch up with the reality of my life. I’ve become especially aware of this lag lately. It has been hitting me like a ton of bricks, when I am, for instance, standing in some line somewhere and hearing a song, in my head or on some loud speaker, from my college days (“Well, I tried to make it Sunday, but I got so damned depressed that I set my sights on Monday….”), and being transported back to my twenties, only to discover that the clerk who is selling me groceries or stamps or whatever, does not see me as a twenty-year-old or even a thirty-year-old but instead as the 59-year-old I actually am—or, even worse, as a 70- or 80-year-old, since my hair is white!
So, here are the things that I cannot fathom at this age:
1) That I am this age.
2) That there is a whole bunch of information out there in the world that my brain no longer needs to listen for or keep track of, such as when the “Kids Eat Free” night is at local restaurants or what the best summer programs/camps are, or how to sign up for soccer or which library has the best story hour or even what the deadline is for registering for the PSAT! (I still need to track the SAT deadline, I’m happy to say!)
3) That my oldest daughter is married and could actually, at some point, have a child—and she wouldn’t even be a “teenage” mom!
4) That my youngest daughter can drive a car by herself—even after dark—and, if a cop stopped her, she could actually produce a real license to show that she’s legal. (more…)