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    Posts Tagged ‘women over 50’


    It Was My 50th Birthday and I Decided to Wake Up and Smell the Coffee!

    Tuesday, March 27th, 2012

    50 Plus Yoga Instructor Dee Greenberg

    Dee Greenberg is a dynamic yoga instructor.  Check out her website at www.50plusyoga.com. This is her first entry on our blog.  Welcome, Dee!

    Sometimes an impending birthday takes on great meaning. For me, turning 50 was quite a wake up call.

    And now, at 58, it’s interesting to reflect back on a time where, relatively speaking, I felt very young, at least compared to how I feel now.  I’m sure you know how that goes.

    There is something to be said for the old adage: “older and wiser.”  And for those of us who are consciously and intentionally evolving – it does seem as if  ”wiseness happens.”  I’d hate to think that with each passing day I was getting a little bit dumber.  And obviously depending on the state of our health, it may feel like our minds are getting dimmer, not brighter.

    That’s why I practice yoga!  I hope to keep my light bulb shining well into what is sometimes referred to as “old age.” And not only do I want my light to shine, but I also very much hope to experience this thing we call old age.

    But let me go back in time for a moment.  At 50, I was single, living in Boston, recovering from a dysfunctional relationship and still feeling somewhat beaten up by it.  I was also self-employed, but without any clear goals or prospects for the future.  I had been teaching yoga for 3 months.

    So basically, you could summarize my condition at 50 as more or less “spinning my wheels.”  My life lacked purpose, momentum and most importantly, goals.

    And then all of that changed, seemingly in the blink of an eye.  At 50 plus, my life began to take shape in an entirely new direction and I am happy to say that now, 8 years later, my life no longer lacks purpose, momentum or goals.

    The catalyst for this change was a chance meeting I had with a very extraordinary yoga instructor named Shiva Rea.

    I stumbled into a week long workshop with her totally by chance.  She rocked my world, and I am a different person today as a result of the 8 consecutive years I spent studying yoga with this most gifted teacher, who became my mentor.

    OK , well,  actually there was one other very significant thing that occurred that same year.  On my 50th birthday, I was at a 4 day yoga retreat nestled deep within the heart of the Catskill Mountains with another very gifted, world class yoga instructor named Dharma Mitra.  Over the course of that weekend, I took a good, long, hard look at my life, and I set some goals for my yoga practice.
    There were 2 very difficult arm balancing, inverted postures in which I wanted to gain proficiency.  So I set a goal at 50:  I *would* focus on these 2 postures and gain proficiency.  Two months later,  I stumbled on the aforementioned teacher who would become my mentor for the next 8 years and lead me towards that proficiency.

    My purpose in writing this post is to spread my message to the world, which is this:

    Life Begins at 50!  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

    All right, let me say it a different way: Life begins at 50, or 60, or 70,  or whenever YOU decide it begins!  The actual chronological number is completely irrelevant.  Life begins whenever you decide to begin to live fully in the moment.

    So go ahead and decide.  Let your life begin right now!

    Changing Cultures & Taking on Elder Care

    Monday, March 12th, 2012

    Totsie Marine

    Our Friend, Totsie, disappeared from Asheville, but we found her in Panama.  Here is her story.

    Part 1: Making the Decision

    “Wanda fell and broke her (other) arm. She is doing better but can’t remember why she has a cast on her arm.” This email came after we made the decision to move to Boquete, Panama and help take care of my 83 year-old mother-in-law, Wanda. It sealed the deal for us. We said we would come to Panama for a year.

    How it came to be:  

    My husband, Winn, and I had toyed with the idea of moving to Boquete after visiting there in January 2011. Winn’s brother, Kevin, and his wife, Tammy, had been taking care of Wanda for three years and had moved their whole family, including three school aged children, to Boquete about a year before our visit. Their decision to relocate there was based on Tammy’s parents, who had retired there, and their own research on cost of living, quality of medical care and the desire to scale down their expensive lifestyle in the states.

    Family in Boquete

    Winn and I have a web development business. I started the business in 1996 and he joined me in 2006. We re-branded the company in 2011 from Totsie.com to Webonobo and positioned it to be “Local Global Mobile Web Solutions”. We also had our site translated into Spanish to attract clients who needed multilingual sites. We had always been told “Oh, you could do your business from anywhere in the world.”, so now seemed to be the right time to see if that was true.

    Our original thought was that we could move to Boquete, live near Kevin and Tammy and help take care of Wanda while continuing our business. We knew we would have a cable internet connection and with modern conveniences like Skype, we could still have personal connections to our clients.

    The deciding factors:

    One factor in our decision to move was that our business had slowed, like most businesses in the states, and while we still had a stable roster of 60+ clients which we host and support, the requests for new sites had slowed to a trickle. Even though we had re-branded and felt positive about the new direction, we were still in the early stages of marketing our new global potential.

    Another important factor came when I had a reading with an intuitive in Asheville who helped me admit the fact that I was personally burned out. Being entirely self-taught, self-motivated, self-marketed, I had been working long days for 16 years and even though I thought I had a few good business years left in me, the truth came out in the reading and I had to admit that I was just plain tired, that I had become one-dimensional in giving all my energy to the business and what I really wanted was a big change in lifestyle.  

    When I told Winn about my true feelings he immediately said “Absolutely, no problem, I can take over the business. I want you to rest and find yourself.” His next thought was that HE wanted to meet with the intuitive. In truth, he had been wanting to change the hectic lifestyle we had created but hadn’t figured out how to make that happen. So now he was motivated to not only take over the helm but also to do it in his style and at his pace.

    And yet a third factor is the fact that I turn 62 on March 6, 2012. Yes, I’m a baby boomer. It seemed unreal to me that people really used to retire at 62 but here I was actually considering it! Of course I would have to give up the CEO position in the company and work less hours to qualify for Social Security but that quickly became a no-brainer. Winn, being 5 years younger than me, still felt excited about our rebranding efforts and could see himself running the business with me as co-pilot.

    Running the numbers:

    Winn loves spreadsheets so he spread us out in all the ways he could think of to evaluate the wisdom of our move. No matter how you sliced it, it looked like a really good idea!

    Based on Kevin and Tammy’s experiences and cost of living, he decided that (as the new CEO) we could offer our services at a lower rate to our clients since our cost of living would be lower in Panama and that would create a win-win for our clients, who had smaller marketing budgets because of the downturn in the economy, and us who had lower living expenses. We could continue running the business, just on a smaller more sustainable pace. We would be living internationally which could eventually meet one of our rebranding goals which was to produce multilingual sites for international clients. We both got excited about the positive possibilities of this move and after we found a great renter for our house-someone I already had an acquaintance with who is in our industry-we felt like the light was green to go.

    Part II – Next Monday!  In the meantime, Happy Birthday Totsie. 

     

    Oops50: Part II: Being a Proud and Gratified Parent of a Parent: Allowing

    Wednesday, March 7th, 2012

    ME & MY PAP

    Webster’s definition of “allow:” to give permission, to permit, to let have, to grant, to admit, to acknowledge  

    Thesaurus definition: to accredit, to approve, to authorize, to empower, to free-up, to recognize  

    We all have history, beliefs, habits.  We all show up in this world riding in on these experiences, whatever they may be.  And yet great blessings are always on the horizon for change, setting the stage for all to be free.  And unconditional LOVE…what does this mean in terms of allowing?

    “Allowing” equals saying to someone:  “as you are.”

    This is easier said than done.  For me, it requires constant homework and conversations with myself, but it is worth the effort because within allowing, there is also the opportunity to review and shake loose old beliefs and habits, re-examine my history & world history, be vulnerable and trust — to come from a space of knowing that I do not need to alter another to allow them to be as they are, do not need to make them change themselves for me (unless it is done by their choice).  When I can accomplish this knowing, I can then choose to stand and be responsible, respectful, and authentic to self and others—and let go.

    Acknowledgement of another for the gift of who they are, what they bring to my table, so to speak, provides an opportunity to empower and be empowered.  From my experience, I can say this is NOT an easy task.  The key for me, however, is to know that I always have a choice to be enrolled or not in another’s ways of being or to allow them or not into my space.  After all, there may be times, even in allowing, where discernment is required.

    Regarding my parents, allowing them to choose for themselves over the years has always paid off in extraordinary ways.  My mom and my Pape’ have each stopped and thought about a choice they were making, once they were reminded that they indeed had a choice and that the responsibility for the results of their choice was with them.  They have always understood, even though there have been times that the results may or may not be what they had hoped.  However, for me to allow and trust the entire process has always been my stand, as long as my parents stayed safe.  (more…)

    Oop50: In Praise of Poetry

    Monday, March 5th, 2012

    JANE

    I’ve been thinking about poetry—and how it can change your life or at least change the way you view your life.  What got me started thinking about this today was remembering a story that my sister told me years ago about a teacher of hers in Germany, a man who, during World War II, was forced to spend years in a hard labor camp.  He told her class that one of the things that kept him sane in that horrible situation was reciting to himself all the poems he had memorized as a child in school.  That story has stayed with me through the years—and made me want to memorize poems whenever I could.  (It was always in my thoughts when I was raising kids, making me worry about how seldom they had memorization assignments.  Memorizing poetry seems to be a lost art, except in poetry slams!)

    But thinking about that story today also made me think about the poems I have in my head that have carried me through difficult times and wonderful times.  There is, for instance, W. H. Auden’s“In Memory of W.B. Yeats,”  which helped me deal with the death of a beloved high school English teacher with such lines as, “What instruments we have agree /The day of his death was a dark, cold day”, and “Earth, receive an honored guest: / William Yeats is laid to rest. / Let the Irish vessel lie /Emptied of its poetry.”

    W. H. Auden

    Or there is Anne Sexton’s “The Fortress,” whose lines kept coming back to me when my children were little:  “Child,/ what are you wishing?  What pact/are you making?/ What mouse runs between your eyes?  What ark/can I fill for you when the world goes wild?”

    Louis MacNeice

    Or there is Louis MacNeice’s incredible long poem, “Autumn Journal,” which I could never hope to memorize, but parts of which have come as close as anything to shaping my philosophy of life, such as this one:  “None of our hearts are pure, we always have mixed motives. / Are self deceivers, but the worst of all /Deceits is to murmur ‘Lord, I am not worthy’/ And, lying easy, turn your face to the wall.”

    Anne Sexton

    Nowadays, as I feel myself getting older in body but trying to stay young in spirit, I find myself turning more and more to e.e. cummings’ wonderful “you shall above all things be glad and young,” with those incredible last lines:  “I’d rather learn from one bird how to sing/than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.”

    e.e.cummings

    I’d love to hear from you readers about poems that have meant something to you.

    Looking Back on Botswana

    Wednesday, January 25th, 2012

    JANE

    So, I’m back from Africa and settled back into my life (after considerable jet lag).  It’s hard now even to believe that just a week ago, I was driving around the wilds of Botswana in a safari vehicle, looking at rhinos and giraffes and elephants.  It all seems like a movie that I went to see, and now I’m out of the theater, dazed by the  bright outside light and realizing that I ate a little too much popcorn (or, in this case, one too many ‘fat cakes,’ a Botswana staple consisting of a big ball of friend dough dripping with grease).

    This trip to Africa made me feel both younger than usual and older.  I felt younger to realize that I still had the nerve to go exploring and camping in remote places, with my 2 girls and some camping equipment.  It also made me feel younger to try new foods, meet new people, and to see new things.  However, the trip also made me feel older, in that I had more anxiety about things than I had ever had in the past.  Part of this is probably due to the fact that it was Africa I was visiting and not Wales (where I ventured when I was 19 and traveling by myself for the first time).

    Part of my anxiety was also due, I’m sure,  to the fact that I didn’t have my husband with me—for the first time in about 28 years!  After all, Tom is always so on guard against every possible hazard to our kids that it makes it easy for me to relax and be laid back.

    But the biggest part was probably just due to the fact that I’m 58 years old and a little too aware of the bad things that can happen to good people.  While Becky was excited to see the very interesting lizard on the roof of our camping tent, I couldn’t help but imagine that lizard dropping down on us in the night to give us a fatal, poisonous bite.  While Becky and Josie both enjoyed steering the rental car through the sandy roads into Khama Rhino Sanctuary, I kept imagining us stuck in the sand on a backwoods trail, with no one to come and rescue us or bring us water.  It made me feel old to be conscious of every mosquito bite, fearing dengue fever or malaria.

    JANE ON SAFARI

    I have to admit it:  when our plane touched down in Philadelphia, and I knew, for the first time, that I had gotten at least one of my girls safely back on this side of the ocean, part of me breathed a huge sigh of relief.

    But then, I have to remember that there was also another part of me that was ready to pack up and go again.

    I guess there’s still some life in the old girl.

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