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Jane: Things on my list before my trip to Botswana

Thursday, January 5th, 2012

Oops, I was supposed to post this for Jane as she was flying off to Botswana with Josie to visit her daughter, but I had too many things on my list this past week. So, here is Jane’s post - just a little late! Annice

Tell me again, whose idea was it to schedule a surprise birthday party for her husband’s 60^thbirthday one week before Christmas? It was worth it—I’ll say that. The party was a blast. Tom was surprised beyond my wildest hopes. Our friends and relatives came from far away places. My wonderful niece and her husband came from Virginia with their two baby girls to complete our workforce made up of Lizzie and Janson (her fiance), Josie, and my wonderful friends Heather, and Nora, her daughter. Together they decorated, cooked food, took pictures, arranged the room, welcomed guests–and generally made it all possible. And Sadhvi gets an Oscar for her acting job that led Tom into the room “to borrow chairs for the weekend.” Josie made an incredible 4-tier cake with the theme of “A Man For All Seasons” (with a season on each tier). I got so wound up from seeing so many people I love in one place that I’m still having trouble unwinding! It made turning 60 seem like a great thing, and I’ll let you know about that in a few years.

Tom, Josie, and the Birthday Cake!

But whose idea was it to schedule a trip to Africa 3 days after Christmas? This trip promises to be an adventure, and, most importantly, I’ll get to see my baby girl instead of missing her for another six months! But, needless to say, I’m not ready for Christmas, and I’m not ready for Africa. I’m guessing it will all come together, “one way or t’other,” as my mother used to say.

Here is what remains to be done today:

1) Shop for about five things that are still missing for Christmas

2) Find a plug that can convert to African power, so that I can plug in my C-PAP machine and sleep at night while I’m traveling around Botswana

3) Buy wrapping paper and wrap presents

4) Get international texting put on my daughter’s phone so that we can let my husband know that we arrived safely in Botswana

5) Call my credit card company to let them know I will, in fact, be in Botswana, so that they don’t kick out every transaction I try to do

6) Find the passports that I stored in a safe place for the trip

7) Get one of those passport holders you can wear around your neck

Go to the evening service at our church for Christmas Eve

Jane and Josie

9) Breathe deeply

10) Pack for Africa

11) Clean the house

12) Bake Christmas cookies.

I have a feeling that numbers 11 and 12 are probably going to go down the tubes!

Happy Belated New Year to all of our readers! Off to Botswana!

Tags: feeling overwhelmed, midlife journey, oops50humor, women's journeys, womenwritersover50
Posted in Family, Friends, Journey, Love, Main, Parenting, Travel | 1 Comment »

Second Attempt: Tequila Holiday Cake Recipe

Wednesday, December 28th, 2011

Annice

This is one of my favorite recipe’s from my dear friend Va at Sheville.org. I tried to make this Tequila Christmas Cake recipe for Chanukah again this year, but it didn’t work out so well. So, I’m trying again for New Year’s Day. Here goes:

Ingredients

1 cup sugar

1 tsp. baking powder
1 cup water

1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar Lemon juice
4 large eggs

Nuts
1 bottle Jose Cuervo tequila

2 cups dried fruit

Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl; check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck iin the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon ice strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360s and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.

Too Much Tequila

Pahhpy New Gears!

Tags: easyrecipes, Humor, oops50humor, pets, women's humor, womenwritersover50
Posted in Family, Friends, Humor, Main, Pets, Recipes/Food | No Comments »

I Did A Really Stupid Thing

Tuesday, December 6th, 2011

Annice

Oops. I did a really stupid thing. I was driving around doing errands on Saturday when I looked into the rear view mirror and saw how ghastly my hair looked. I was in the middle of a hair emergency without an appointment. I haven’t been happy with my stylist lately, and in fact I’ve been shopping around. I’m tired of paying a lot, and not being satisfied. All that to say, I ended up driving to the nearest cheap hair salon I spotted on the highway, and walked in.

After all, aren’t all the stylists in those kind of places recent grads who know the latest techniques? Aren’t they just working at these cheap places to get experience, build up a clientele, and move on?

I walked in. “Hi, can someone cut my hair now?”

Behind the desk, the receptionist, sporting a great haircut, looked up.

“Sure. Give me your coat and take a seat. I’ll get Terry (not her real name).”

Sitting in Terry’s chair, I looked around. The place was dumpy, looking like the low-end salon it was.

Out walks Terry smelling badly from cigarette smoke. Her face was covered with deep wrinkles and when she smiled, she was missing a few teeth. I won’t bother to detail the many different colors of her hair ranging from burnt orange to caramel.

OMG. I had a sick feeling in my stomach as I sat in Terry’s chair, a prisoner, held hostage by my own stupidity. It was too late to turn back.

I tried to imagine the best case scenario. Maybe she was a recovering addict from NYC and came to the mountains to get her life back together. She wouldn’t be the first. Or maybe she was a super stylist from NYC. Anything was possible.

“Is that a natural curl?” she asked.

“Yes, and I happen to have a photo of the cut I like in my wallet.” I handed the photo to Terry.

She looked at it for a second.

“No problem. I’m great with curly hair, been cutting hair in Asheville since 1994. Raised four kids as a single mom cutting hair.”

“Ever been to New York?” I could only hope.

“Never been out of Asheville. Never had the desire.”

“Never. Not even for a visit?”

MY NEW HAIRCUT

“Nope. I’m gonna cut your hair dry. It’s the best way to cut curly hair.”

I knew that was a fair statement and such technique existed, so I did not argue with Terry.

Chop, chop, chop. Terry cut away until I was left with a short pixie.

“What do you think? I think that looks about right.” Terry picked up the photo and held it up to the mirror next to my image. “What about color? We use a very good color here.”

I could not speak.

“Would you like to schedule your next appointment?”

“Next appointment? Oh, well, I won’t be needing a next appointment until April – 2013.”

Tags: aging gracefully, beautifulwomenover50, haircuts, Humor, oops50humor, women over 50 style, womenwritersover50
Posted in Beauty, haircuts, Humor, Main | 7 Comments »

Laugh Lines: October 26th, 2011

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

A 56 year-old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near-death experience.

Seeing God she asked, “Is my time up?”

God answered, “No, you have another 40 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live.”

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck.

She even had someone come in and change her hair color.

Since she had so much more time to live, she thought she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit by a car and died immediately.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 40 years – why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the car?”

God replied, “I didn’t recognize you.”

WHITE BEACH MORNING GLORY

Tags: funnyjokes, funnyjokeswomen, oops50humor, oops50jokes, oops50laughlines, womenover50jokes
Posted in Aging, Beautiful Women >50, Entertainment, Getting Older, Health, Humor, Laugh Lines, Main, Recuperation, Sadhvi Sez | 6 Comments »

Women Elder Sharing Romance Tips: Finding Mr. Right

Sunday, July 24th, 2011

SADHVI

I wanted to share my secret to eternal youth this week, but I couldn’t think of one. Then I thought I could let you in on how at the age of 53, I’ve invested wisely and am now retired, except that this is not the case.

So instead I’m going to share something that I think is pretty interesting. I was looking at the data collected from GoogleAnalytics, a free service from Google that shows which key words people are punching into their search boxes, and how many of them there are. What I discovered is that the majority of people using the web are trying to find their perfect mate! Uh oh, wait! I think that also includes porn sites. Geez. I shouldn’t be surprised, since just about all of my single friends use online dating these days. I even have friends who tell me, “I’ve got to find time to get on Match.com!”.

If only they realized that their type of “Mr. Right” is not anywhere but between the pages of a book. Because having been in a relationship for over 25 years with the same partner, I can attest that it ain’t like what these single friends are yearning for. It is not necessarily bad, it just isn’t romance every day!

MR. RIGHT THERE ALL ALONG

If I were looking, I definitely wouldn’t look for a potential relationship online! They pick the picture themselves and they write things that make them appear like they are auctioning themselves off on the block!

If I were looking for love, I would join a tango class, or a bowling league, or maybe just go the library and get some Harlequin romance novels and drift away in a comfortable chair. Or just order online at my favorite book site: Better World Books. A much better company than Amazon to support, by the way.

Here’s a quote from a summer read that I recently picked up (no pun intended). Let me know if you agree with me that reading about romance might be better than an actual relationship. It’s cheaper. There is no compromise. When your heart gets broken, vicariously of course, it will be better by the end of the book.

Enjoy!

Sadhvi

He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow and guided me into a room – his room.

Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone. He approached me soundlessly, from behind

and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear,

“Just relax.”

Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong,
calloused hands start at my ankles – gently probing and

moving upward along my calves – slowly, but steadily.

My breath caught in my throat.

I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn’t care.

His touch was so experienced, so sure.

When his hands moved onto my thighs, I gave a slight
shudder and partly closed my eyes.

My pulse was pounding.

I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage.

And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands,

I inhaled sharply.

Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted – he brought

his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my panties.

Although I knew nothing about this man – I felt oddly trusting and expectant.

This is a man, a man used to taking charge.

A man not used to taking ‘no’ for an answer.

A man who would tell me what he wanted.

A man who would look into my soul and say,

“Okay ma’am – you can now board your flight!”.

Tags: babyboomerwomen, Beautiful Women >50, elderwomanwrites, elderwomen, elderwomenblogs, findingromance, harlequinromance, humorouswomenwriters, lookingforloveover50, match.com, oops50humor, oops50laughlines, sadhvisez, womenover50, womensharingcircle, womenwriters
Posted in Aging, Beautiful Women >50, Books, Entertainment, Home, Humor, Journey, Laugh Lines, Love, Main, Products, Products, Relationships, Sadhvi Sez | 5 Comments »