• Malaprop's Bookstore/Cafe
  • Studio 88 web design, development, and online marketing
  • Advertise with Oops50.com
  • Tags
  • Categories
  •  

    Posts Tagged ‘oops50 humor’


    Women Over 50 Who Love Their Pets

    Tuesday, January 11th, 2011

    Annice

    If you recall, over a year ago, I wrote about Gus, my 10 year old Chesapeake Bay Retriever.  We rescued him eight years ago, complete with a bullet underneath his belly.

    Gus taking it easy

    My post at that time was about how constipated he was and how putting him on prednisone turned him into the dog from hell.  Needless to say, it was a messy time for both of us.

    Well, poor Gus is not only constipated again but it’s much worse: perianal fistulas.  When the vet gave me the diagnosis, I immediately went home to research it.  I already knew the condition was painful because poor Gus took forever to poop, and moan while doing it.  Besides the pain, there was the itching, and irritation of the skin surrounding the anus.  Worse still, the poor guy has the beginnings of small ulcers surrounding his anus (I’ll spare you the photos).  Since Gus can’t take prednisone, he has to take an immunosuppressive medication (cyclosporine) which costs almost $300 for a month’s supply, and that’s if I buy it in Canada.  The doctor doesn’t know how long he has to be on it, but Gus doesn’t care than it costs more than my car payment.  Oh, he’s also on an antibiotic, and Flagyl (prescribed for  anti-inflammatory bowel).  And don’t let me forget to mention, he’s also taking Tramadol for pain relief for the ACL (Anterior Cruciate Ligament) connecting the shin bone to the thigh bone.)

    Gus at play

    In the end, we’ll probably have to change his diet to an even more expensive one because studies have shown the benefits of feeding afflicted dogs a grain-free diet containing one single protein the dog has never eaten.  This reduces the possibility of triggering the immune system and preventing abscesses from healing.   Dick Van Patten’s Natural Balance (Venison & Sweet Potato, Lamb & Rice, Sweet Potato & Fish) and Blue’s Buffalo Venison, Sweet Potato & Vegetables is another option.  Oh, I could also make his food, in which case, I could eat it, too, and keep it simple in the kitchen!

    Good dog

    Despite all that, Gus is still very athletic, eats like it’s his last meal, and scares anyone who comes to the door unannounced.  And most of all, he’s extremely affectionate and worth all my efforts.  Obama care for dogs?  That’s what I’m talking about!

    Women over 50: Painting on Glass is Fun!

    Monday, December 27th, 2010

    ANNICE THE ARTIST

    Being a woman over 50, it’s so nice to have the ability to feel like I am 5 years old just by painting.  I’ve always loved this inner child of mine; it is fresh, full of joy, and feels the closest to what I consider “the real me”.  So I felt lucky when my friend Annice told me she wanted to make her Holiday gifts this year, and wouldn’t it be a great idea to paint on glass bottles over at my house?  Yes!

    SADHVI IS HAPPY!

    It turns out that you are either someone who jumps into anything creative, or you are not.  Funny enough, the judgemental chatter of the mind of each is the same.  Annice is so full of life that I was surprised when she said she couldn’t paint.  Impossible!  Me on the other hand, I just love the process, and it doesn’t matter if it’s a masterpiece or not.  How wonderful it was to see Annice go beyond her mind’s judgments and create some pretty cool designs.  We listened to some good music, enjoyed yummy snacks, drank schnapps, and laughed a lot!  Time stopped for us that Sunday afternoon and it felt rejuvenating.  I hope you make the time for your inner child on a regular basis – it’s fun!

    One of my favorite artist’s is Georgia O’Keefe, and this is one of my favorite quotes from her:

    “I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life – and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.”
    Georgia O’Keeffe

    TA DA!

    Virtual Vacations…Uh Huh!

    Wednesday, December 1st, 2010

    Sadhvi

    It seems the thought of winter gets a little bit harder to imagine every year.  We had a glorious fall, right up until Thanksgiving, and the first little snow flakes that I saw this morning are not unusual for these parts.  The heavy snowfalls and freezing temperatures that have shut down airports in Europe are.  So when I say that I am starting to feel like I need a little escape, I am not complaining, I am just fantasizing! 

    A friend sent me this link, and it’s kind of neat to see where you can go…hey, Detroit, Michigan is on the list!  One of my favorite places, Basel, Switzerland, is not one to choose from, but hey, I did enjoy Ticino, the Italian part of Switzerland, complete with palm trees! You choose the city you want to go to, and it gives you a virtual tour with appropriate music.  Well, it’s a little diversion that I hope you will enjoy.

    http://www.jcdurand.ca/Monde/Tour.html

    Menopause, Facial Hair, and Accepting What IS

    Monday, November 8th, 2010

    Sadhvi

    Being a woman over 50, I thought I might want to write something about Menopause every now and again.  It isn’t taboo, but I think that for me it’s just been so intense that I don’t know what to say.

    Really.  I mean, who wants to hear someone write about how they don’t know who they are anymore?   Besides, I have a funny feeling that dealing with this Change is kind of like trying to find the “perfect  bra”, having the “perfect job”, or communicating clearly with my husband: there really isn’t an answer, it’s just a mystery and a challenge to be lived on a daily basis!

    Not only is there the pressure to look good these days, to be thin enough not to be considered “fat”, to not be negative, but rather positive, to be politically and socially correct, to work out or do some sort of Yoga or Pilates to stay in shape as I get older, but every morning there’s the challenge of facial hair.

    Susun Weed

    I have a book, “New Menopausal Years, The Wise Woman Way: Alternative Approaches for Women 30-90″  that I opened from my bookshelf to see what herbalist and Wise Woman Susun Weed had to say about it: you can just click HERE to go to that information online. 

    If you find the time, you should go to one of Susun’s events, and most definitely, buy any of  her books.

    In a nutshell, I can tell you that it’s not going to go away and I will have to keep up with the daily maintenance of it, well, for the rest of my life.  And for everyone’s sake I really hope I don’t forget.

    My mother, who is still alive, has not really spoken much about her Menopausal years to me…maybe the whole topic was as mystifying to her as it is to me now.  Mom?

    In the past couple of years I have had all the symptoms associated with this Change and I am thankful that they didn’t all happen on the same day, because then I wouldn’t be writing to you via this blog post, but rather from a prison cell somewhere in Missouri.

    When it gets brought up with girlfriends, there is always someone who didn’t have ANY symptoms, who is having wild sex all the time with her husband or new, younger lover, or someone who just started taking some hormones from horse urine and swears it makes her look 20 years younger.  Then there are my girlfriends who are in their 60′s who tell me that their menopausal symptoms have never gone away.  So there ya go!  It’s like I said before, it’s all a mystery.

    Maybe it just comes down to accepting this new me as I get older, just as it always been throughout my life of being OK and enjoying what is, no matter what age. 

    Amen, and seriously now, may you have a good night’s sleep and awake with no facial hair in the morning!

    “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

    (Reinhold Niebuhr: American theologian 1892-1971)

    Laugh Lines:: The Ostrich

    Monday, October 4th, 2010

    The Ostrich

    A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
    The waitress asks them for their orders.

     
    The man says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”
     
    “I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.

    A short time later the waitress returns with the order.

     ”That will be $9.40 please.”

    The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

    The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke…”

     
    The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same…”

    Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change .

    This becomes routine until the two enter again. “The usual?” asks the waitress.

    “No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,” says the man.


    “Same,” says the ostrich.

     
    Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $32.62.”

    Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.


    The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.

    “Excuse me, sir.  How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?”

     
    “Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp.

    When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.  My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”

    “That’s brilliant!” says the waitress, “Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”

    “That’s right, whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.

    The waitress asks, “What’s with the ostrich?”


    The man sighs, pauses and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with a big bottom and long legs who agrees with everything I say” .

    The moral of the story is: Be careful what you ask for!

    Entries (RSS) | Comments (RSS).