Midlife Journey | Oops50

Posts Tagged ‘midlife journey’

Jane: Things on my list before my trip to Botswana

Thursday, January 5th, 2012

Oops, I was supposed to post this for Jane as she was flying off to Botswana with Josie to visit her daughter, but I had too many things on my list this past week. So, here is Jane’s post - just a little late! Annice

Tell me again, whose idea was it to schedule a surprise birthday party for her husband’s 60^thbirthday one week before Christmas? It was worth it—I’ll say that. The party was a blast. Tom was surprised beyond my wildest hopes. Our friends and relatives came from far away places. My wonderful niece and her husband came from Virginia with their two baby girls to complete our workforce made up of Lizzie and Janson (her fiance), Josie, and my wonderful friends Heather, and Nora, her daughter. Together they decorated, cooked food, took pictures, arranged the room, welcomed guests–and generally made it all possible. And Sadhvi gets an Oscar for her acting job that led Tom into the room “to borrow chairs for the weekend.” Josie made an incredible 4-tier cake with the theme of “A Man For All Seasons” (with a season on each tier). I got so wound up from seeing so many people I love in one place that I’m still having trouble unwinding! It made turning 60 seem like a great thing, and I’ll let you know about that in a few years.

Tom, Josie, and the Birthday Cake!

But whose idea was it to schedule a trip to Africa 3 days after Christmas? This trip promises to be an adventure, and, most importantly, I’ll get to see my baby girl instead of missing her for another six months! But, needless to say, I’m not ready for Christmas, and I’m not ready for Africa. I’m guessing it will all come together, “one way or t’other,” as my mother used to say.

Here is what remains to be done today:

1) Shop for about five things that are still missing for Christmas

2) Find a plug that can convert to African power, so that I can plug in my C-PAP machine and sleep at night while I’m traveling around Botswana

3) Buy wrapping paper and wrap presents

4) Get international texting put on my daughter’s phone so that we can let my husband know that we arrived safely in Botswana

5) Call my credit card company to let them know I will, in fact, be in Botswana, so that they don’t kick out every transaction I try to do

6) Find the passports that I stored in a safe place for the trip

7) Get one of those passport holders you can wear around your neck

Go to the evening service at our church for Christmas Eve

Jane and Josie

9) Breathe deeply

10) Pack for Africa

11) Clean the house

12) Bake Christmas cookies.

I have a feeling that numbers 11 and 12 are probably going to go down the tubes!

Happy Belated New Year to all of our readers! Off to Botswana!

Tags: feeling overwhelmed, midlife journey, oops50humor, women's journeys, womenwritersover50
Posted in Family, Friends, Journey, Love, Main, Parenting, Travel | 1 Comment »

Aging & Gratitude

Monday, November 7th, 2011

Dee Charlton

I’m grateful to be one of the lucky, reunion re-connections that formed over the past 18 months with Annice, one of the co-founders of this wonderful blog Oops50.com. Our friendship goes back to 6^th grade summer camp, and if my math is right, that’s 47 years ago. The camp was devised by the school district to facilitate kids from several grade-schools to meet and spend time together prior to the major transition into the adult world of 7^th grade! We became fast friends. We were 12 years old.

October 23, 2011 – I turned 59. How strange it feels to be writing for this blog and and saying, I’m almost 60 !! How did that happen? The Bonnie Raitt song; “Nick of Time” keeps playing over and over in my head, especially the lyric; “… no matter how I tell myself – it’s what we all go through, those lines are pretty hard to take when they’re staring back at you..” In the Nick of Time You ain’t never lied sister Bonnie!

My husband, Scott and I have been traveling the country in our motor coach since April. We just returned to beautiful Sarasota, Florida Nov. 1^st, and I’m sitting in front of the computer looking at our wedding photo taken in Italy.

Dee's wedding in Italy

Next to that is the photo we had taken last month in Las Vegas, it was our 5^th anniversary – wow. What a life, what a journey this has been! I can’t say I remember what I wanted my life to be when I was younger except that I wanted to be independent and travel, and now I can say yes to both of those goals.

I’m also feeling how fortunate I’ve been to experience the wonder of this country – the canyons, the mountains, the Bad Lands, Death Valley, White Sands, Alaska and hot air balloon festivals. I’ve even jumped out of an airplane and para-glided off a mountain. I’m grateful for it all, and for Scott.

Next - Pilot's license

Back to my birthday – it was harder than I expected it to be. All day, I was fighting back tears. I know I’m not afraid of death, I’ve been faced with it on more than one occasion. So what was tearing me up? Aging? Vanity? Am I that vain? I guess I am, but is that worse than death??

I think it finally hit me when I texted Fran (my wonderful step-daughter) something my mother said to me on my birthday: “Welcome to the last year of your 50s!” Thanks Mom. Her stand-up routine could use a little refining, but I love her anyway. And thank you Fran for letting me cry on your long distance shoulder. For every year that passes me by, I come one more year closer to losing my Mom, and that hurts a lot.

Dee with Mom

Honestly, I’ve just gotten to know my mother well about seven years ago, and I cherish her as my real best friend. I am a lucky 59 year old woman in so many ways!

Born in Collinwood (Cleveland) OH, Dee’s family followed what she likes to refer to as the Italian Migratory Route from Little Italy in Cleveland to the ‘burbs where her mother still resides.

After graduating from high school, she struck out on her own in her first apartment, later to be hired by the same people who built, owned and managed the complex.

Her career in Property Management took her to New York, New Hampshire, and finally Florida, a place she wanted to stay. In the early 90’s, Dee was hired by a national company and traveled the country promoting motivational speakers to help people get rich quick – just like they did. It wasn’t unusual for her to come home with half a million dollars in her briefcase. Eventually, Dee settled down in Sarasota.where she met her husband, Scott, and married in Santa Maria di Castellabati, Italy, just south of the Amalfi coast. Today, they live in Sarasota during the winter months and travel the rest of the year in their motor coach.

Tags: aging gracefully, beautifulwomenover50, bonnieraitt, midlife journey, women over 50, women over fifty, women's journeys, womenbabyboomers, womenwritersover50
Posted in Aging, Family, Journey, Living, Love, Main, Other Voices, Relationships, Spirituality, Travel, World | 4 Comments »

CATCHING UP…IF ONLY WE HAD STARTED SOONER

Monday, October 10th, 2011

Lynne

Our guest blogger, Lynne Roche Matthews, grew up in the suburbs of Cleveland, Ohio and went on to study at Kent State University. After college, she worked in the hospitality industry for over 29 years. She moved to upstate New York in 1990 and became Vice President for the motorcoach tour & charter company she and her late husband owned until retiring to Punta Gorda, Florida in 2001. She now spends her time volunteering for the yacht club, chairing the PR & Marketing Committee, and the annual Bridal Expo. She also is active in city politics, serving on the Planning Commission and Board of Zoning Appeals. In her spare time, she loves to go boating, read, travel and shop. AND, she just got married this past Saturday and looks forward to many new life adventures with her new husband.

Thanks to my High School Reunion, I reconnected with Lynne after 40 years. And, by the way, if you’re going to a reunion any time soon, just pray you have someone like uber-planner, Lynne, running your event. This woman knows how to have fun! After our reunion, I asked Lynne to write a blog post about her experience locating all our classmates and what it all meant to her. Here is her story.

Annice in 1967

I recently had the wonderful opportunity to chair my 40^th high school reunion, reconnecting with so many great friends that I had lost contact with back in the day. It was truly an inspirational weekend after planning it for almost two years. I got on the plane to return home to Florida, only to see one of my classmates, Annice, who had also been at the party, so we sat together on the flight and talked non-stop for a couple of hours. It was great fun just catching up with each others lives. So she told me about this blog she started with some friends of hers, and one thing led to another…well you know how these things happen.

When asked to write a blog for Oops50, I started thinking of all the things I could write about. I’ve often thought about writing a book about some of the crazier things in my life, but I just never had enough time to do ii…ah yes, TIME. That evil four letter word. If only I had TIME. It made me think of something that really stood out in my mind, something that I wish I had made the time for.

Reunion Fun

When I first started working on the reunion a couple of years ago, I discovered a classmate (Roberta) who lived just 5 miles from me, here in Florida. So after almost 40 years, here we were, almost 1000 miles from where we grew up, living the good life in sunny Florida. After a couple of months of knowing she was so close, I called her one day (it blew her away), we laughed, we cried and found each other again.

I had already found another one of my BFF’s from high school (Barb) just a few miles away, and she and I have gotten together frequently over the past 10 years to have lunch every month or two. So we made arrangements for the three of us to meet for lunch. Here’s where the “if only” comes in.

Roberta announced to me she had just come through a rather intense session of chemo, having a rough round with ovarian cancer. What a true trooper she was, braver than most, and she was doing well. Sporting a beautiful wig and her ever present smile, she arrived, nervous as all get out, but we quickly settled in for a wonderful lunch and conversation. We did the same thing several other times since, hooking up with other classmates I found nearby (there are 17 of us here in SW Florida), and had a wonderful time reconnecting everyone.

There was to be a group dinner with spouses back in late winter of 2011, and she opted out, saying her husband was out of town on business. And then she cancelled out on a girl’s day lunch. Well I think you know where THIS is going. I had a bad feeling, but I just didn’t follow up on it. And then I got the call from her husband…she had succumbed to that evil disease in May. I hated myself for not doing what I knew I should have done, but I also know she wouldn’t want anyone to dwell on the illness. She kept it very private, and that’s the way she wanted it. But it was way too soon to see her go, and I will always second guess myself for not doing better at keeping in touch.

That's Roberta next to Lynne

I’ve mourned the loss of my dear friend, Roberta, and not a day goes by that I don’t regret waiting to get in touch with this beautiful, kind soul. It just proves that there’s no time like the present – don’t leave this place we call earth with any regrets, and don’t wait to reach out to those who mean something to you.

If only I had started sooner, I would have had more time to spend with her, and maybe, just maybe I could have helped her get through the times when she really needed me to be there for her. I know she loved that we reconnected, and she loved the time we spent together. I just wish there had been more of those times. So RIP sweet Roberta – I will miss your beautiful smile always, and I’ll see you on the other side. Dance like no one’s watching ladies – you never know what’s around the corner!

Tags: aging gracefully, beautifulwomenover50, midlife journey, oops50, women's journeys, womenbabyboomers, womenwritersover50
Posted in Aging, Friends, Home, Journey, Love, Main, Other Voices, Relationships, Spirituality | 4 Comments »

My Very Own Writing Retreat

Monday, September 19th, 2011

Annice

Last winter was long, cold and miserable. It’s one winter I want to forget. I spent months taking care of my husband (after he fell on ice and had to have a hip replacement) and feeling sorry for myself. When Spring finally arrived, it brought my father’s passing followed by the death of both my dogs within three months of each other. At long last, I received some good news. I was gifted one full week in a writer’s residency program at the glorious Wild Acres Retreat Center in the North Carolina mountains. Their website says, “The program allows individuals the solitude and inspiration needed to begin or continue work on a project in their particular field.” And so, from Sept. 5-12^th, I stayed at the Owl’s Nest Cabin, tucked away in the mountains to work on my novel without any interruptions – none. No distractions – none. No T.V., no cell phone service, no internet, and no iPod. It was just me, my laptop, my yoga mat, and 23 chapters of my book needing to be revised.

As if that wasn’t cool enough, I also didn’t have to spend time preparing any meals, or cleaning or washing anything. I didn’t have to be concerned about anyone other than myself. How often does that happen?

SEE ANNICE WRITE

I was pretty much off the grid (without a car) and had to hike ¼ mile up to the main campus for my meals. No big deal. However, I was a little alarmed about a few things such as critters in my room and hunters on the gravel road near my cabin with their barking dogs. You see, it’s bear hunting season in the mountains, and while I don’t want to be judgmental regarding a tradition that is centuries old, I am disturbed to know that folks are still out there hunting bears. I mean, what for?

NOT MY HAND

As for critters, I had a ring-neck snake in my cabin which I managed to get out without killing it. How did I know it was a ring-neck snake? When I described it to people at lunch, they informed me that’s what it was. I don’t like snakes, but I survived that crisis and moved on to another crisis, a yoga crisis.

When I left my house, I grabbed the September issue of the Yoga Journal in case I needed it. So, while I was patting myself on the back for progressing so well on my revision, I put myself in a funk practicing Hanumanasana (full splits). Well, I knew it wasn’t an easy pose and certainly not one I ever practice out of class, but hey, I figured in a week I would make some progress- NOT. So, frustration paid me a long visit that week, thanks to my greedy self wanting immediate results. It’s amazing how we can find things to be discouraged about even when we don’t have to. Once again, my mat teaches me a lesson. I guess a yoga retreat is in order next.

YES SHE CAN!

Tags: midlife journey, oops50, women baby boomers, womenover50, womenoverfiftyyoga, womenwhoblog, womenwritersover50, yoga
Posted in Aging, Art, Beautiful Women >50, Books, Entertainment, Health, Journey, Living, Main, Spirituality, Yoga | 7 Comments »

A Drop in the Bucket, or Living off the Grid

Monday, July 4th, 2011

ARJUNA

Our friend, Arjuna da Silva, lives at Earthaven, an aspiring ecovillage in a mountain forest setting near Asheville, North Carolina. Everyone living there is dedicated to caring for people and the Earth by learning, living, and demonstrating a holistic, sustainable culture. Arjuna helped start Earthaven in 1994, where she’s lived for the past twelve years. She just moved into her earth & straw temple of a house there. Everyone who knows this beautiful woman over 50, celebrates her spirit. Here is what she has to share…

ARJUNA'S HOME

: Upper West Window

Originally, I wanted to write a piece about what a joke it is to work my way through a day of living on the land, off the grid, learning to grow food, and recycling my waste into valuable (fertilizer) resources. But after several tries, I realized those choices deserve much more credit and that my inner voice is the one who’d rather let someone else do all the hard stuff.

So, yes, I do start my day by (sometimes anxiously) checking the meter to see how my batteries held up overnight storing solar-accessed electric power; and I do pay attention to the weather report regarding the day’s anticipated power access. I even pay attention to the calendar that tells me if the stars would treat my tomato seedlings better today than if I waited to plant them on Friday.

When I first started to write this piece, I called my draft, A Drop in the Bucket, intending to convey the double meaning of the “sustainable” life I choose to live.

Meaning 1: peeing and pooping in containers so those resources can be utilized as soil amendments (instead of depending on fertilizers that have to be bought and shipped, possibly scraped off another part of the earth).
Meaning 2: then there’s the more cynical reference being the effort us folk (who live in this valley) put into recycling, preserving, using renewables, etc., which is just a drop in the regional (let alone global) bucket.

ARJUNA ON THE LAND

But, today I’d rather tell you I’ve found ways to minimize the things I don’t like (carrying what’s too heavy, smelling what’s too foul, etc.), and feel pretty happy refining my rugged life into something that even fussy people might be able to handle. In fact, I’m thinking others might choose this path if they could feel the inner rewards that come from paying attention to what we do and what we use to do it.

The choice to take risks (as if anyone lives without them) and move in what looks like “the right direction” for oneself, one’s neighborhood or the planet, is such an uplifting choice! The experience of following through on the nitty-gritty details of trial and error with new systems and organic self-reliance is exhilarating at times and is mostly just deeply satisfying. Maybe you’d like to try it?

Please post your questions and comments here so we can have an open discussion. Arjuna’s workshop, “Your Enneagram and Your Sub-Personalities” airs August 10-21 at Earthaven. For more information, please email: arjuna@earthaven.org. All power to the people! Make your own, grow your own, and use your own!

THE ROAD TO EARTHAVEN

Tags: beautifulwomenover50, Enneagram, gardening, midlife journey, permaculture, sustainableliving, women's journeys, womenbabyboomers, writers over 50
Posted in Aging, Alternative Health, Beautiful Women >50, Environment, Family, Gardening, Home, Journey, Living, Main, Relationships, Retirement, Spirituality, World | 6 Comments »