Posts Tagged ‘Laugh Lines’
Oops 50 Humor: Some New Yoga Poses to try!
Thursday, June 3rd, 2010Pharmacology
Sunday, March 21st, 2010In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of “cocktails”, “highballs” and just a good old-fashioned “stiff drink”. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
An Irishman, a Mexican, and a Blond Guy…
Monday, March 8th, 2010An Irishman, a Mexican, and a blond guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the
20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch, and the Irishman said, “Corned beef and
cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this
building!”
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, “Burritos again! If I get burritos one
more time, I’m going to jump off, too.”
The blond opened his lunch and said, “Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I’m jumping too.”
The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped too.
The blond guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna sandwich, and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman’s wife was weeping. She said, “If I’d known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!”
The Mexican’s wife also wept and said, “I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn’t realize he hated burritos so much.”
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde’s wife. The blonde’s wife said, “Don’t look at me! He makes his own lunch!”
Oops50 Humor: A Lady walks into Tiffany’s…
Friday, February 19th, 2010A lady walks into Tiffany’s. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little “whoops” and prays that a sales person wasn’t anywhere near.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her and he’s good looking as well.
Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Tiffany’s. He politely greets the lady with, “Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?”
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little ‘incident’, she asks, “Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?”
He answers, “Madam, if you farted just looking at it – you’re going to sh-t when I tell you the price.”
Oops50 Humor: An Incredible Number Puzzle to Try!
Sunday, February 14th, 2010Read all the following numbers slowly and in order, being careful not to miss any:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 and 30
Good!
Now aren’t you glad to know that you accomplished something today?
Tomorrow we’ll post the ABC’s.
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