Jane

This has been my last week on only liquids, and I have to admit I’m scared of adding food back into my life.  I’m scared of losing the simplicity, the order, and the no-thinking-about-food state I’ve been living in. I’m going to have to actually put all this good knowledge, and therapy into practice and see if  I can stay strong.  People have told me they could never stick to a liquids-only diet, but it’s easy compared to living in foodland!  Not having to make choices about what to eat was blissful.  I’ll take my box of envelopes of protein drink and my little portable shaker any day!  Now I have to start thinking again about things like portion control, calorie allotment, nutrition, etc.   Oh yeah – and it’s the pyramid.

Scariest of all:  my fear of slipping back into binge eating?!  I can’t let that happen again. In my program, we talked this week about body image–and where our own images come from: from fellow nervous adolescents in our teenage years, from our parents, from the media.  It’s interesting to ponder how we see ourselves and why.  We also talked about the purposes weight can serve for people or the things that it says for us, such as “Stay away from me” or “I’m afraid to be myself” or “I have to do everything,  “I’m mad” or “You can’t control me.”  I know, in my case, at least part of it started out as a control game with my mother, who always liked to encourage us to diet with her, but things got more complicated along the way. I’m sure part of it was also feeling out of control with life, overwhelmed, so my weight was saying, “I give up.  I’m powerless.”  Worth pondering.

But what about this guy?  I guess his weight says the opposite:  “I’m powerful!”

I’m feeling powerful this week, since my BMI is down from 37 to 30, so I’m moving out of the “obese” category and into “overweight.”   My goals for the next 6 weeks, while in “transition” back to a normal life are to 1) get on a more regular exercise program 2) remember that this has been a life change and not a diet and 3) to stay strong and mindful.

Wish me luck!

Related posts:

1. Jane’s World: Week Two on Liquids
2. Jane’s World: Hospital Weight Program: Week One
3. Jane’s World: Week Three on Full Liquids and the Joys of Fake Nails
4. Jane’s World: Week One on Only Liquids!
5. Signing up for a Hospital Weight Management Program and Wonderful Grown-Up Children

Tags: Optifast, Weight loss, weight management

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 6th, 2010 at 8:58 am and is filed under Health, Weight Management. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.