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CATCHING UP…IF ONLY WE HAD STARTED SOONER

Monday, October 10th, 2011

Lynne

Our guest blogger, Lynne Roche Matthews, grew up in the suburbs of Cleveland, Ohio and went on to study at Kent State University. After college, she worked in the hospitality industry for over 29 years. She moved to upstate New York in 1990 and became Vice President for the motorcoach tour & charter company she and her late husband owned until retiring to Punta Gorda, Florida in 2001. She now spends her time volunteering for the yacht club, chairing the PR & Marketing Committee, and the annual Bridal Expo. She also is active in city politics, serving on the Planning Commission and Board of Zoning Appeals. In her spare time, she loves to go boating, read, travel and shop. AND, she just got married this past Saturday and looks forward to many new life adventures with her new husband.

Thanks to my High School Reunion, I reconnected with Lynne after 40 years. And, by the way, if you’re going to a reunion any time soon, just pray you have someone like uber-planner, Lynne, running your event. This woman knows how to have fun! After our reunion, I asked Lynne to write a blog post about her experience locating all our classmates and what it all meant to her. Here is her story.

Annice in 1967

I recently had the wonderful opportunity to chair my 40^th high school reunion, reconnecting with so many great friends that I had lost contact with back in the day. It was truly an inspirational weekend after planning it for almost two years. I got on the plane to return home to Florida, only to see one of my classmates, Annice, who had also been at the party, so we sat together on the flight and talked non-stop for a couple of hours. It was great fun just catching up with each others lives. So she told me about this blog she started with some friends of hers, and one thing led to another…well you know how these things happen.

When asked to write a blog for Oops50, I started thinking of all the things I could write about. I’ve often thought about writing a book about some of the crazier things in my life, but I just never had enough time to do ii…ah yes, TIME. That evil four letter word. If only I had TIME. It made me think of something that really stood out in my mind, something that I wish I had made the time for.

Reunion Fun

When I first started working on the reunion a couple of years ago, I discovered a classmate (Roberta) who lived just 5 miles from me, here in Florida. So after almost 40 years, here we were, almost 1000 miles from where we grew up, living the good life in sunny Florida. After a couple of months of knowing she was so close, I called her one day (it blew her away), we laughed, we cried and found each other again.

I had already found another one of my BFF’s from high school (Barb) just a few miles away, and she and I have gotten together frequently over the past 10 years to have lunch every month or two. So we made arrangements for the three of us to meet for lunch. Here’s where the “if only” comes in.

Roberta announced to me she had just come through a rather intense session of chemo, having a rough round with ovarian cancer. What a true trooper she was, braver than most, and she was doing well. Sporting a beautiful wig and her ever present smile, she arrived, nervous as all get out, but we quickly settled in for a wonderful lunch and conversation. We did the same thing several other times since, hooking up with other classmates I found nearby (there are 17 of us here in SW Florida), and had a wonderful time reconnecting everyone.

There was to be a group dinner with spouses back in late winter of 2011, and she opted out, saying her husband was out of town on business. And then she cancelled out on a girl’s day lunch. Well I think you know where THIS is going. I had a bad feeling, but I just didn’t follow up on it. And then I got the call from her husband…she had succumbed to that evil disease in May. I hated myself for not doing what I knew I should have done, but I also know she wouldn’t want anyone to dwell on the illness. She kept it very private, and that’s the way she wanted it. But it was way too soon to see her go, and I will always second guess myself for not doing better at keeping in touch.

That's Roberta next to Lynne

I’ve mourned the loss of my dear friend, Roberta, and not a day goes by that I don’t regret waiting to get in touch with this beautiful, kind soul. It just proves that there’s no time like the present – don’t leave this place we call earth with any regrets, and don’t wait to reach out to those who mean something to you.

If only I had started sooner, I would have had more time to spend with her, and maybe, just maybe I could have helped her get through the times when she really needed me to be there for her. I know she loved that we reconnected, and she loved the time we spent together. I just wish there had been more of those times. So RIP sweet Roberta – I will miss your beautiful smile always, and I’ll see you on the other side. Dance like no one’s watching ladies – you never know what’s around the corner!

Tags: aging gracefully, beautifulwomenover50, midlife journey, oops50, women's journeys, womenbabyboomers, womenwritersover50
Posted in Aging, Friends, Home, Journey, Love, Main, Other Voices, Relationships, Spirituality | 4 Comments »

Senior Cohousing for Baby Boomers!

Monday, September 26th, 2011

Sue Counts

My friend, Sue Counts, retired three years ago as the Director of the North Carolina Cooperative Extension in Watauga County after more than 40 years in government. During her tenure, Sue initiated educational programs in the areas of sustainable tourism, sustainable energy, Hispanic outreach, and women in agriculture. Sue says, “At this point in my life, I’m seeking a better life for the Baby Boomers who are entering that stage of their lives known as ‘the senior years’.” So, when Dene Peterson, the founder of ElderSpirit Community came to Boone a few weeks ago to talk about her life’s work, Sue was there attending meetings about the possibility of creating such a community in Watauga County, NC. She graciously shares important information on “Retirement Housing.”

IT’S OFFICIAL! We are now in the “ERA OF THE GOLDEN BOOMERS!”. On January 1, 2011 the very first Baby Boomer turned 65, and 10,000 boomers will turn 65 every day for the next 19 years. This gigantic generation has transformed America as they have passed through every stage of life…..and housing for the elderly will not be any exception.

It's Official

Co-housing communities if you will! These communities bring together the value of private homes with the benefits of more sustainable living. That means common facilities and good connections with neighbors. All in all, they stand as innovative answers to today’s environmental and social problems.

According to Charles Durrett, author of Senior Cohousing Handbook — 2nd Edition, A Community Approach to Independent Living, “No matter how rich life is in youth and middle age, the elder years can bring on increasing isolation and loneliness as social connections lessen, especially if friends and family members move away. Senior co-housing fills a niche for this demographic — the healthy, educated and proactive adults who want to live in a social and environmentally vibrant community. These seniors are already wanting to ward off the aging process, so they are unlikely to want to live in assisted housing. Senior co-housing revolves around custom-built neighborhoods organized by the seniors themselves in order to fit in with their real needs, wants, and aspirations for health, longevity and quality of life.”

Elderspirit Community

The ElderSpirit Community at Trailview in Abingdon, Virginia is the living example of a community of mutual support and late life spirituality. It is the first mixed-income, mixed ownership Elder Co-Housing Community in the United States and in this capacity it is making its way as it “walks the talk.” The founder of ElderSpirit Community is Geraldine “Dene” Peterson, a “spry” woman in her 80’s who recently received the “Lifetime Achievement Award” at the 2011 National Cohousing Conference in Washington, DC.

Dene Peterson

At eighteen, Dene Peterson left her parents and ten siblings to join a convent. She ultimately chose to leave the religious order, but her spirituality remained deeply rooted. In 1995, at age 65, she created the ElderSpirit Community in Abingdon, Virginia. Inspired by a Danish model, Peterson wanted to form a co-housing retirement community that would allow friends to live together in a collaborative and supportive setting while also offering some of the autonomy of private dwellings. Peterson also envisioned an alternative to institutional long-term care, a place where community members would have the emotional support of their peers as well as the necessary medical assistance to live out their lives at home. Using a creative patchwork of funding from public and private resources, Peterson raised $3.5 million, and her vision materialized. Construction of the 29 residences, common community building, and a prayer room was completed in late spring of 2006 and houses both the moderate and low-income. The model has gained national attention, and an ElderSpirit outreach extension program in now helping to plan similar communities in Florida, North Carolina, Ohio, Kansas, and Virginia.

The ElderSpirit Community is dedicated to making possible new opportunities for Elders in the 21st Century. The ElderSpirit Community values are: To live in a community of diverse spiritual paths; To give and receive support in relationship with neighbors in community; To belong to a community who make the decisions on how they will live together; and To encourage each other to live simply and care for the earth.

Tags: aging, aging gracefully, baby boomers, cohousingforboomers, elderspiritcohousing, elderspiritcommunity, Retirement, seniorcohousinghandbook, women over fifty, women's journeys, womenbabyboomers, writers over 50
Posted in Aging, Alternative Health, Books, Environment, Family, Friends, Health Tips, Home, Journey, Living, Main, Other Voices, Relationships, Retirement, Spirituality, The Environment | 7 Comments »

My Very Own Writing Retreat

Monday, September 19th, 2011

Annice

Last winter was long, cold and miserable. It’s one winter I want to forget. I spent months taking care of my husband (after he fell on ice and had to have a hip replacement) and feeling sorry for myself. When Spring finally arrived, it brought my father’s passing followed by the death of both my dogs within three months of each other. At long last, I received some good news. I was gifted one full week in a writer’s residency program at the glorious Wild Acres Retreat Center in the North Carolina mountains. Their website says, “The program allows individuals the solitude and inspiration needed to begin or continue work on a project in their particular field.” And so, from Sept. 5-12^th, I stayed at the Owl’s Nest Cabin, tucked away in the mountains to work on my novel without any interruptions – none. No distractions – none. No T.V., no cell phone service, no internet, and no iPod. It was just me, my laptop, my yoga mat, and 23 chapters of my book needing to be revised.

As if that wasn’t cool enough, I also didn’t have to spend time preparing any meals, or cleaning or washing anything. I didn’t have to be concerned about anyone other than myself. How often does that happen?

SEE ANNICE WRITE

I was pretty much off the grid (without a car) and had to hike ¼ mile up to the main campus for my meals. No big deal. However, I was a little alarmed about a few things such as critters in my room and hunters on the gravel road near my cabin with their barking dogs. You see, it’s bear hunting season in the mountains, and while I don’t want to be judgmental regarding a tradition that is centuries old, I am disturbed to know that folks are still out there hunting bears. I mean, what for?

NOT MY HAND

As for critters, I had a ring-neck snake in my cabin which I managed to get out without killing it. How did I know it was a ring-neck snake? When I described it to people at lunch, they informed me that’s what it was. I don’t like snakes, but I survived that crisis and moved on to another crisis, a yoga crisis.

When I left my house, I grabbed the September issue of the Yoga Journal in case I needed it. So, while I was patting myself on the back for progressing so well on my revision, I put myself in a funk practicing Hanumanasana (full splits). Well, I knew it wasn’t an easy pose and certainly not one I ever practice out of class, but hey, I figured in a week I would make some progress- NOT. So, frustration paid me a long visit that week, thanks to my greedy self wanting immediate results. It’s amazing how we can find things to be discouraged about even when we don’t have to. Once again, my mat teaches me a lesson. I guess a yoga retreat is in order next.

YES SHE CAN!

Tags: midlife journey, oops50, women baby boomers, womenover50, womenoverfiftyyoga, womenwhoblog, womenwritersover50, yoga
Posted in Aging, Art, Beautiful Women >50, Books, Entertainment, Health, Journey, Living, Main, Spirituality, Yoga | 7 Comments »

Vincent Harding and the Beloved Community

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

: Jane

I heard a wonderful man being interviewed on NPR’s “On Being” yesterday morning. His name is Vincent Harding, and he was an activist in the Civil Rights Movement. He talked about how this country is still a “developing nation” when it comes to having a true “democratic encounter across real difference.” He said that, maybe for the first time in its history, America is starting to have a national conversation about how we are going to make democracy work—and what that actually means, on a day-to-day basis, in a world where we have all different kinds of people, with different aims and different cultural backgrounds. To describe the ultimate goal we should all be working toward, he used a term from the Bible, which Martin Luther King used: the “beloved community.”

Mr. Harding stressed how important it is to “love our children into new possibilities,” to teach our children to value things beyond material wealth or fame or prestige. He talked about how important it is for children to grow up feeling that they are part of a larger community, one that that they feel responsible toward. Our children need to know that they are capable of “being the creators of a new possibility for the whole nation.” It is important for all of us to establish the “beloved community” if it is ever going to come about.

In listening to Mr. Harding talk about the concept of a “beloved community,” I couldn’t help but think about our congresspeople fighting over the debt ceiling while there are children going hungry in cities right under their noses; I thought about the tea party loyalists saying they would not raise taxes on the rich, under any circumstances, while our schools cannot pay our teachers a living wage; I thought about Latino teenagers being deported back to their parents’ country of origin, even though they have lived in the United States for as much of their lives as they can remember; and I thought about right-wing Christians who are so far removed from the teachings of Jesus that they discriminate against gays and teach a doctrine that says that people can only get into heaven if they live, act, dress, talk, exactly the way they do.

: Vincent Harding

I think we are pretty far from a beloved community in this country, but I can’t help believing that it is certainly an idea whose time has come.

Mr. Harding gave lots of examples of people across this country who are working in their neighborhood, their city, their region, to improve people’s lives. I’d like to hear from our readers about people they know who are working hard, every day, to try to move us all toward a “beloved community.”

To hear the original interview, go to http://being.publicradio.org/programs/2011/civility-history-hope/.

Tags: " democracy, "On Being, Civil Rights, creating community, elderwomenblogs, NPRonbeing, The Beloved Community, Vincent Harding, womenwritersover50
Posted in Main, Other Voices, Spirituality, World | 2 Comments »

Sadhvi Sez: It’s National Book Week

Friday, August 12th, 2011

SADHVI

It’s National Book Week. Or that is what I was told by a friend on Facebook. I thought it was a fun 2 minute diversion to an otherwise hectic day.

The rules: Grab the closest book to you. Go to page 56. Copy the 5th sentence. Don’t mention the book. Pass it along.

“Every woman wants to kill the husband – it is another matter that she does not kill him – because if she kills him, what will she do?”

*Note: I know this quote seems strange, but just so you know, I was feeling overwhelmed and my husband was adding to the mix; so when I picked a random book from the shelf, and read this quote I had to laugh! I am not a violent person, and I wasn’t thinking to kill him either. Enjoy!

SADHVI'S MEXICAN TORCHFLOWER

Tags: nationalbookweek, osho, sadhvisez, womensblogs, womensharing, womenwhoblog, womenwriters
Posted in Beautiful Women >50, Books, Entertainment, Home, Laugh Lines, Living, Main, Sadhvi Sez, Spirituality, World | 6 Comments »