Annice

Meet my friend Marjorie. I met her in Washington, D.C. back in 1982 or 1983 at our local gym on M St.  We were sitting in the steam room, and she remarked how she hadn’t see me with my friend lately and wondered what happened.   I told her she moved to Boston to go to back to school, and how much I missed her.  She immediately reached out, and we became best friends after that.  Neither Marjorie nor I are in D.C. anymore, and I wish we were closer.  She has always inspired me to look for joy wherever it is.  Here she is singing in a gospel choir, and here is her story.

Marjorie

I have always wanted to sing in a gospel choir.  The energy and music is so uplifting.  You can be in the biggest funk…tired, depressed, or overwhelmed with your day and your life, but when you start singing it’s as though you’ve been totally transported to another place and time.

When I lived in San Francisco I sang in two choruses.  I never had a great voice, but good enough to be part of the choral group.  One of my “gigs” was in the San Francisco Gay Men and Women’s Chorus.  My next door neighbor at the time knocked on my door one evening and asked me if I liked to sing.  Well, “yes” I said, but I’m not good.  He said not to worry that it was just a fun group and they sang show tunes.  It turned out to be a little more professional than I was, but I still enjoyed it, and realized what a high I got from singing.  Then my “voice” went downhill (literally).  I was really distressed over it, but the ENT guy I went to said it “wasn’t cancer,” but I would have to give up my operatic career.  I fell over laughing.

So years went by without a song in my heart and last December, right before Christmas, my friend Nancy and I went to a local cafe here in Petaluma, (CA) for breakfast and the Wings of Glory was singing.  I checked it out and low and behold they are here practically right in my backyard!  The best things about this group are 1) you don’t have to audition 2) you don’t have to have a great voice and 3) there is no commitment to show up for rehearsals every week or attend the performances.

Wings of Glory

I haven’t missed a rehearsal yet!  The members are some of the most welcoming people I’ve ever met.  Last weekend we sang with the Oakland Interfaith Choir.  You want to hear great voices….that’s the ticket.  Any one of them could go on American Idol and win!  There was also a Jewish A Capella group there called Vocolat and they were singing Hebrew and Yiddish songs…I  felt more at home.

We are the token white gospel choir, but we have the spirit and the “moves.”  We are invited to perform at a number of different venues.  Churches, of course, but also wineries and other events around the area.

So, how is it, you ask, to be singing about Jesus for a nice Jewish girl from Brooklyn?  Well after all, Jesus was a nice Jewish boy from Bethlehem.  And at least they both start with a “B”, right!?  And, if you’re ever in my neck of the woods please come and hear us sing.  You will be looking for a gospel choir in your area instead of a therapist!

JANE

I’ve been thinking about poetry—and how it can change your life or at least change the way you view your life.  What got me started thinking about this today was remembering a story that my sister told me years ago about a teacher of hers in Germany, a man who, during World War II, was forced to spend years in a hard labor camp.  He told her class that one of the things that kept him sane in that horrible situation was reciting to himself all the poems he had memorized as a child in school.  That story has stayed with me through the years—and made me want to memorize poems whenever I could.  (It was always in my thoughts when I was raising kids, making me worry about how seldom they had memorization assignments.  Memorizing poetry seems to be a lost art, except in poetry slams!)

But thinking about that story today also made me think about the poems I have in my head that have carried me through difficult times and wonderful times.  There is, for instance, W. H. Auden’s“In Memory of W.B. Yeats,”  which helped me deal with the death of a beloved high school English teacher with such lines as, “What instruments we have agree /The day of his death was a dark, cold day”, and “Earth, receive an honored guest: / William Yeats is laid to rest. / Let the Irish vessel lie /Emptied of its poetry.”

W. H. Auden

Or there is Anne Sexton’s “The Fortress,” whose lines kept coming back to me when my children were little:  “Child,/ what are you wishing?  What pact/are you making?/ What mouse runs between your eyes?  What ark/can I fill for you when the world goes wild?”

Louis MacNeice

Or there is Louis MacNeice’s incredible long poem, “Autumn Journal,” which I could never hope to memorize, but parts of which have come as close as anything to shaping my philosophy of life, such as this one:  “None of our hearts are pure, we always have mixed motives. / Are self deceivers, but the worst of all /Deceits is to murmur ‘Lord, I am not worthy’/ And, lying easy, turn your face to the wall.”

Anne Sexton

Nowadays, as I feel myself getting older in body but trying to stay young in spirit, I find myself turning more and more to e.e. cummings’ wonderful “you shall above all things be glad and young,” with those incredible last lines:  “I’d rather learn from one bird how to sing/than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.”

e.e.cummings

I’d love to hear from you readers about poems that have meant something to you.

Annice

What a year – so many friends and family with serious health problems, starting with my husband’s fall last February, the loss of my Dad, and then both my dogs.  There has been no reprieve.  I am shocked about all the friends that have had serious to critical health problems accompanied by extended stays in the hospital as well as long recuperation’s at home.  If I made a list of all the sick people (and animals) I’ve known this year, it would add up to more than a dozen, and that’s way too much in one year.

Just a few weeks ago, I made a huge pot of matzo ball soup and delivered it to four sick friends.

Matzo Ball Soup

It’s depressing and stressful worrying about them.

So, I created a way to cope with the year of sick friends.  I built an imaginary wishing well in my heart and when I’m about to do a yoga practice, (whether in class at One Center Yoga or in my home), I dedicate my practice to all those who need well wishes.  I sit in Sukasana and take five long breaths and say their names in my head and breathe them out and down my wishing well.

Sukasana

Today, another friend just told me about her Mother who suffered a major heart attack after falling and breaking her hip and knee.  Tonight, I will add her to my ever growing list of well wishes.  I hope it helps because I don’t know what else to do.  Like chicken soup, it can’t hurt, right?

Dee Charlton

I’m grateful to be one of the lucky, reunion re-connections that formed over the past 18 months with Annice, one of the co-founders of this wonderful blog Oops50.com.  Our friendship goes back to 6^th grade summer camp, and if my math is right, that’s 47 years ago.  The camp was devised by the school district to facilitate kids from several grade-schools to meet and spend time together prior to the major transition into the adult world of 7^th grade!  We became fast friends.  We were 12 years old.

October 23, 2011 – I turned 59.  How strange it feels to be writing for this blog and and saying, I’m almost 60 !!   How did that happen? The Bonnie Raitt song; “Nick of Time” keeps playing over and over in my head, especially the lyric; “… no matter how I tell myself – it’s what we all go through,  those lines are pretty hard to take when they’re staring back at you..”   In the Nick of Time  You ain’t never lied sister Bonnie!

My husband, Scott and I have been traveling the country in our motor coach since April.  We just returned to beautiful Sarasota, Florida Nov. 1^st, and I’m sitting in front of the computer looking at our wedding photo taken in Italy.

Dee's wedding in Italy

Next to that is the photo we had taken last month in Las Vegas, it was our 5^th anniversary – wow.  What a life, what a journey this has been!  I can’t say I remember what I wanted my life to be when I was younger except that I wanted to be independent and travel, and now I can say yes to both of those goals.

I’m also feeling how fortunate I’ve been to experience the wonder of this country – the canyons, the mountains, the Bad Lands, Death Valley, White Sands, Alaska and hot air balloon festivals.  I’ve even jumped out of an airplane and para-glided off a mountain.  I’m grateful for it all, and for Scott.

Next - Pilot's license

Back to my birthday – it was harder than I expected it to be.  All day, I was fighting back tears.  I know I’m not afraid of death, I’ve been faced with it on more than one occasion.  So what was tearing me up?  Aging?  Vanity?  Am I that vain?  I guess I am, but is that worse than death??

I think it finally hit me when I texted Fran (my wonderful step-daughter) something my mother said to me on my birthday: “Welcome to the last year of your 50s!”  Thanks Mom.  Her stand-up routine could use a little refining, but I love her anyway.  And thank you Fran for letting me cry on your long distance shoulder.  For every year that passes me by, I come one more year closer to losing my Mom, and that hurts a lot.

Dee with Mom

Honestly, I’ve just gotten to know my mother well about seven years ago, and I cherish her as my real best friend.  I am a lucky 59 year old woman in so many ways!

Born in Collinwood (Cleveland) OH, Dee’s family followed what she likes to refer to as the Italian Migratory Route from Little Italy in Cleveland to the ‘burbs where her mother still resides. 

After graduating from high school, she struck out on her own in her first apartment, later to be hired by the same people who built, owned and managed the complex.  

Her career in Property Management took her to New York, New Hampshire, and finally Florida, a place she wanted to stay.  In the early 90’s, Dee was hired by a national company and traveled the country promoting motivational speakers to help people get rich quick – just like they did.  It wasn’t unusual for her to come home with half a million dollars in her briefcase.  Eventually, Dee settled down in Sarasota.where she met her husband, Scott, and married in Santa Maria di Castellabati, Italy, just south of the Amalfi coast.  Today, they live in Sarasota during the winter months and travel the rest of the year in their motor coach.

Annice and founder, Corinna

The 7th annual SE Women’s Herbal Conference

What a great week-end I had at the 7^th annual Southeast Women’s Herbal Conference in Asheville, NC.  This year, was the biggest conference ever, almost 900 women gathered to learn, connect, and deepen into the Wise Woman Tradition… earth-based healing, local plants, & deep nourishment.  Those of you who know me, know I’m not an herbalist but I tend to use herbs and natural products as my first line of defense when I feel something coming on.  This conference brought together such an amazing group of healers, and not only did I get to attend this year, but the organizers invited me to monitor the Embodiment track.  There were 8 incredible classes ranging from Shadow Work; Making Peace with your Body; Our Predatory Nature; and the Power of the Drum.  Let me just say that listening (and dancing) to over 100 women learning to drum was phenomenal, and these women practically brought the tent down.

What I loved most about the class was the teacher, Kristen Arant, who runs a non-profit in Washington, D. C. called the Young Women’s Drumming Empowerment Project which helps promote self-esteem in young women.  Now why didn’t anything like that exist when I was growing up?

President Obama visits Asheville

So, after an inspiring week-end, I was given a ticket to attend Obama’s kick-off speech in Asheville to promote his “Jobs Act” bus tour. What amazed me was that after living in D.C. for 20 years, I could still get excited about seeing the President and shaking his hand.  I know North Carolina is a battleground state, but hey, he won it before, and it ain’t over till it’s over.

Lynne

Our guest blogger, Lynne Roche Matthews, grew up in the suburbs of Cleveland, Ohio and went on to study at Kent State University.  After college, she worked in the hospitality industry for over 29 years.  She moved to upstate New York in 1990 and became Vice President for the motorcoach tour & charter company she and her late husband owned until retiring to Punta Gorda, Florida in 2001.  She now spends her time volunteering for the yacht club, chairing the PR & Marketing Committee, and the annual Bridal Expo.  She also is active in city politics, serving on the Planning Commission and Board of Zoning Appeals.  In her spare time, she loves to go boating, read, travel and shop.  AND, she just got married this past Saturday and looks forward to many new life adventures with her new husband.

Thanks to my High School Reunion, I reconnected with Lynne after 40 years.  And, by the way, if you’re going to a reunion any time soon,  just pray you have someone like uber-planner, Lynne, running your event.  This woman knows how to have fun!  After our reunion, I asked Lynne to write a blog post about her experience locating all our classmates and what it all meant to her.  Here is her story.

Annice in 1967

I recently had the wonderful opportunity to chair my 40^th high school reunion, reconnecting with so many great friends that I had lost contact with back in the day.  It was truly an inspirational weekend after planning it for almost two years.  I got on the plane to return home to Florida, only to see one of my classmates, Annice, who had also been at the party, so we sat together on the flight and talked non-stop for a couple of hours.  It was great fun just catching up with each others lives.  So she told me about this blog she started with some friends of hers, and one thing led to another…well you know how these things happen.

When asked to write a blog for Oops50, I started thinking of all the things I could write about.  I’ve often thought about writing a book about some of the crazier things in my life, but I just never had enough time to do ii…ah yes, TIME.  That evil four letter word.  If only I had TIME.  It made me think of something that really stood out in my mind, something that I wish I had made the time for.

Reunion Fun

When I first started working on the reunion a couple of years ago, I discovered a classmate (Roberta) who lived just 5 miles from me, here in Florida.  So after almost 40 years, here we were, almost 1000 miles from where we grew up, living the good life in sunny Florida.  After a couple of months of knowing she was so close, I called her one day (it blew her away), we laughed, we cried and found each other again.

I had already found another one of my BFF’s from high school (Barb) just a few miles away, and she and I have gotten together frequently over the past 10 years to have lunch every month or two.  So we made arrangements for the three of us to meet for lunch.  Here’s where the “if only” comes in.

Roberta announced to me she had just come through a rather intense session of chemo, having a rough round with ovarian cancer.  What a true trooper she was, braver than most, and she was doing well.  Sporting a beautiful wig and her ever present smile, she arrived, nervous as all get out, but we quickly settled in for a wonderful lunch and conversation.  We did the same thing several other times since, hooking up with other classmates I found nearby (there are 17 of us here in SW Florida), and had a wonderful time reconnecting everyone.

There was to be a group dinner with spouses back in late winter of 2011, and she opted out, saying her husband was out of town on business.  And then she cancelled out on a girl’s day lunch.  Well I think you know where THIS is going.  I had a bad feeling, but I just didn’t follow up on it.  And then I got the call from her husband…she had succumbed to that evil disease in May.  I hated myself for not doing what I knew I should have done, but I also know she wouldn’t want anyone to dwell on the illness.  She kept it very private, and that’s the way she wanted it.  But it was way too soon to see her go, and I will always second guess myself for not doing better at keeping in touch.

That's Roberta next to Lynne

I’ve mourned the loss of my dear friend, Roberta, and not a day goes by that I don’t regret waiting to get in touch with this beautiful, kind soul.  It just proves that there’s no time like the present – don’t leave this place we call earth with any regrets, and don’t wait to reach out to those who mean something to you.

If only I had started sooner, I would have had more time to spend with her, and maybe, just maybe I could have helped her get through the times when she really needed me to be there for her.  I know she loved that we reconnected, and she loved the time we spent together.  I just wish there had been more of those times.  So RIP sweet Roberta – I will miss your beautiful smile always, and I’ll see you on the other side.  Dance like no one’s watching ladies – you never know what’s around the corner!

Sue Counts

My friend, Sue Counts, retired three years ago as the Director of the North Carolina Cooperative Extension in Watauga County after more than 40 years in government.  During her tenure, Sue initiated educational programs in the areas of sustainable tourism, sustainable energy, Hispanic outreach, and women in agriculture.  Sue says, “At this point in my life, I’m seeking a better life for the Baby Boomers who are entering that stage of their lives known as ‘the senior years’.”  So, when Dene Peterson, the founder of ElderSpirit Community came to Boone a few weeks ago to talk about her life’s work, Sue was there attending meetings about the possibility of creating such a community in Watauga County, NC.  She graciously shares important information on “Retirement Housing.”

IT’S OFFICIAL!  We are now in the “ERA OF THE GOLDEN BOOMERS!”.  On January 1, 2011 the very first Baby Boomer turned 65, and 10,000 boomers will turn 65 every day for the next 19 years.  This gigantic generation has transformed America as they have passed through every stage of life…..and housing for the elderly will not be any exception.

It's Official

Co-housing communities if you will!  These communities bring together the value of private homes with the benefits of more sustainable living.  That means common facilities and good connections with neighbors.  All in all, they stand as innovative answers to today’s environmental and social problems.

According to Charles Durrett, author of Senior Cohousing Handbook — 2nd Edition, A Community Approach to Independent Living, “No matter how rich life is in youth and middle age, the elder years can bring on increasing isolation and loneliness as social connections lessen, especially if friends and family members move away.  Senior co-housing fills a niche for this demographic — the healthy, educated and proactive adults who want to live in a social and environmentally vibrant community.  These seniors are already wanting to ward off the aging process, so they are unlikely to want to live in assisted housing.  Senior co-housing revolves around custom-built neighborhoods organized by the seniors themselves in order to fit in with their real needs, wants, and aspirations for health, longevity and quality of life.”

Elderspirit Community

The ElderSpirit Community at Trailview in Abingdon, Virginia is the living example of a community of mutual support and late life spirituality.  It is the first mixed-income, mixed ownership Elder Co-Housing Community in the United States and in this capacity it is making its way as it “walks the talk.”  The founder of ElderSpirit Community is Geraldine “Dene” Peterson, a “spry” woman in her 80’s who recently received the “Lifetime Achievement Award” at the 2011 National Cohousing Conference in Washington, DC.

Dene Peterson

At eighteen, Dene  Peterson left her parents and ten siblings to join a convent. She ultimately chose to leave the religious order, but her spirituality remained deeply rooted. In 1995, at age 65, she created the ElderSpirit Community in Abingdon, Virginia. Inspired by a Danish model, Peterson wanted to form a co-housing retirement community that would allow friends to live together in a collaborative and supportive setting while also offering some of the autonomy of private dwellings.  Peterson also envisioned an alternative to institutional long-term care, a place where community members would have the emotional support of their peers as well as the necessary medical assistance to live out their lives at home.  Using a creative patchwork of funding from public and private resources, Peterson raised $3.5 million, and her vision materialized.  Construction of the 29 residences, common community building, and a prayer room was completed in late spring of 2006 and houses both the moderate and low-income.  The model has gained national attention, and an ElderSpirit outreach extension program in now helping to plan similar communities in Florida, North Carolina, Ohio, Kansas, and Virginia.

The ElderSpirit Community is dedicated to making possible new opportunities for Elders in the 21st Century.  The ElderSpirit Community values are: To live in a community of diverse spiritual paths; To give and receive support in relationship with neighbors in community; To belong to a community who make the decisions on how they will live together; and To encourage each other to live simply and care for the earth.

Annice

Last winter was long, cold and miserable.  It’s one winter I want to forget.  I spent months taking care of my husband (after he fell on ice and had to have a hip replacement) and feeling sorry for myself.  When Spring finally arrived, it brought my father’s passing followed by the death of both my dogs within three months of each other.  At long last, I received some good news.  I was gifted one full week in a writer’s residency program at the glorious Wild Acres Retreat Center in the North Carolina mountains.  Their website says, “The program allows individuals the solitude and inspiration needed to begin or continue work on a project in their particular field.”  And so, from Sept. 5-12^th, I stayed at the Owl’s Nest Cabin, tucked away in the mountains to work on my novel without any interruptions – none.  No distractions – none.  No T.V., no cell phone service, no internet, and no iPod.  It was just me, my laptop, my yoga mat, and 23 chapters of my book needing to be revised.  

As if that wasn’t cool enough, I also didn’t have to spend time preparing any meals, or cleaning or washing anything.  I didn’t have to be concerned about anyone other than myself.  How often does that happen?

SEE ANNICE WRITE

I was pretty much off the grid (without a car) and had to hike ¼ mile up to the main campus for my meals.  No big deal.  However, I was a little alarmed about a few things such as critters in my room and hunters on the gravel road near my cabin with their barking dogs.  You see, it’s bear hunting season in the mountains, and while I don’t want to be judgmental regarding a tradition that is centuries old, I am disturbed to know that folks are still out there hunting bears.  I mean, what for?

NOT MY HAND

As for critters, I had a ring-neck snake in my cabin which I managed to get out without killing it.  How did I know it was a ring-neck snake?  When I described it to people at lunch, they informed me that’s what it was.  I don’t like snakes, but I survived that crisis and moved on to another crisis, a yoga crisis.

When I left my house, I grabbed the September issue of the Yoga Journal  in case I needed it.  So, while I was patting myself on the back for progressing so well on my revision, I put myself in a funk practicing Hanumanasana (full splits).  Well, I knew it wasn’t an easy pose and certainly not one I ever practice out of class, but hey, I figured in a week I would make some progress- NOT.  So, frustration paid me a long visit that week, thanks to my greedy self wanting immediate results.   It’s amazing how we can find things to be discouraged about even when we don’t have to.  Once again, my mat teaches me a lesson.  I guess a yoga retreat is in order next.

YES SHE CAN!

Jane

I heard a wonderful man being interviewed on NPR’s “On Being” yesterday morning.  His name is Vincent Harding, and he was an activist in the Civil Rights Movement.  He talked about how this country is still a “developing nation” when it comes to having a true “democratic encounter across real difference.”  He said that, maybe for the first time in its history, America is starting to have a national conversation about how we are going to make democracy work—and what that actually means, on a day-to-day basis, in a world where we have all different kinds of people, with different aims and different cultural backgrounds.  To describe the ultimate goal we should all be working toward, he used a term from the Bible, which Martin Luther King used:  the “beloved community.”  

Mr. Harding stressed how important it is to “love our children into new possibilities,” to teach our children to value things beyond material wealth or fame or prestige.  He talked about how important it is for children to grow up feeling that they are part of a larger community, one that that they feel responsible toward.  Our children need to know that they are capable of “being the creators of a new possibility for the whole nation.”  It is important for all of us to establish the “beloved community” if it is ever going to come about.   

In listening to Mr. Harding talk about the concept of a “beloved community,” I couldn’t help but think about our congresspeople fighting over the debt ceiling while there are children going hungry in cities right under their noses;  I thought about the tea party loyalists saying they would not raise taxes on the rich, under any circumstances, while our schools cannot pay our teachers a living wage; I thought about Latino teenagers being deported back to their parents’ country of origin, even though they have lived in the United States for as much of their lives as they can remember; and I thought about right-wing Christians who are so far removed from the teachings of Jesus that they discriminate against gays and teach a doctrine that says that people can only get into heaven if they live, act, dress, talk, exactly the way they do. 

Mr. Harding gave lots of examples of people across this country who are working in their neighborhood, their city, their region, to improve people’s lives.  I’d like to hear from our readers about people they know who are working hard, every day, to try to move us all toward a “beloved community.” 

To hear the original interview, go to http://being.publicradio.org/programs/2011/civility-history-hope/.

SADHVI

It’s National Book Week.  Or that is what I was told by a friend on Facebook.  I thought it was a fun 2 minute diversion to an otherwise hectic day.

The rules: Grab the closest book to you.  Go to page 56.  Copy the 5th sentence.  Don’t mention the book.  Pass it along.

“Every woman wants to kill the husband – it is another matter that she does not kill him – because if she kills him, what will she do?”

*Note: I know this quote seems strange, but just so you know, I was feeling overwhelmed and my husband was adding to the mix; so when I picked a random book from the shelf, and read this  quote I had to laugh!  I am not a violent person, and I wasn’t thinking to kill him either. Enjoy!

SADHVI'S MEXICAN TORCHFLOWER

Monica Devine

Monica Devine is an author, photographer, therapist, and baby boomer who lives in Eagle River, Alaska. She also studies and practices yoga – one of the most beneficial practices (spiritual and physical) for women over 50. Today, Monica reminds us of what yoga teaches us about Ahimsa.

Ahimsa means to do no harm; to practice non-violence. When non-violence in speech, thought and action is established, one’s aggressive nature is relinquished, and others abandon hostility in one’s presence.

This is one of the teachings in the Yoga Sutras that I’ve given a great deal of thought to lately. Have you ever noticed how angry speech begets defensive behavior? How violent behavior begets retaliation? We see this on the world stage, between nations and cultures at war with one another. And we also see it on a smaller scale at home with the people we love most.

Explosive anger and negative speech towards another creates a climate of defensiveness and hurt that can last for years. Sticks and stones may break your bones? Sure, but violent and aggressive speech toward another is just as damaging. I remember my sons resorting to shouting matches and highly charged fighting when they were younger, the days when sibling rivalry was intense. This was a highly stressful time for me as a parent; I’d immediately get sucked into their disagreements and feel I had to diffuse the argument with an even louder voice; I had to take control, offer a quick solution, make everything okay again. But in doing so, I was trying to bring about peace in a way that wasn’t, in and of itself, peaceful. So I began to examine these behaviors by practicing staying in the midst of an argument and remaining peaceful inside. By pulling myself aside mentally, breathing deep and slow, and staying consciously aware of the encounter, a neutral ground was established where emotions were not allowed to run amok. Over time, I learned to shape the encounter, rather than control it, and to calmly shift the responsibility for a resolution back on them rather than carry it myself. When I spoke softer, so did they. When I offered and modeled an alternative way to communicate, they responded. This was a huge accomplishment for all of us and took years to hone.

Monica & Mt. Drum

Kind speech begets kind speech. Carrying the thought of peace in our hearts naturally invites a more loving and clearer expression from others. We would do well to remember that families are microcosms of nations. The knowledge and courage required to lay down our sticks and stones and practice daily the essential and vital energy of peace, starts at home, with ourselves.

If you want to hear more about Monica and her life in Alaska where she writes about about art, nature, travel, and more, visit her at her very own blog.

Multi-media piece of my Mom by Monica Devine

SADHVI

I knew the moment we saw our house that it was the one.  The place where I would plant the flowers and things that I loved.  I didn’t do much the first summer, wanting to see what kind of things were here…an old snowball tree, lots of “Rose of Sharon”, an old Lilac tree, a huge Oak tree, and lots of hemlocks.  That was also the first year they started to die off around here; some sort of aphid was killing them.  It also started to get warmer and we went from Zone 6 to Zone 7.

MY POTTING BENCH

I got a tree man to come and treat all 24 hemlocks, and they are still standing.

I feel cozy and protected with those hemlocks surrounding our little half acre.  This month it’ll be 9 years living in this old farmhouse.  It was so much work to gut it and redo it, but it’s wonderful having a place that feels like a haven from the world each night when I come home.

Each year what grows and blooms is a little bit different, and maybe in a different spot.  It’s as if the plants and flowers start to have a life of their own – and I love that.

I would be lost without the Maria Thun BioDynamic Planting Guide.  It’s now online, and it is easy to read and use.

MARIA THUN

I highly recommend planting at the time that Maria Thun says to!  It’s the best thing you can do to get the strongest plants and best harvest.

ONE PURE DAISY

With such a small life, with such a small energy source, it is simply stupid to waste it in sadness, in anger, in hatred, in jealousy.

Use it in love, use it in some creative act, use it in friendship, use it in meditation: Do something with it which takes you higher.

And the higher you go, the more energy sources become available to you.

At the highest point of consciousness, you are almost a god.

OSHO

ZINNIA'S ARE MY FAVORITE!

SADHVI

I saw the first leaf fall the other night on a walk with my dog.  It’s not the first time I noticed this right after the beginning of summer, just a few weeks after the longest day of the year.  Just one of life’s paradox’s.  It was orange and it was from a beautiful maple tree.

DEEP BURGUNDY PINCUSHION

The flowers are opening a good month ahead of the “norm” of the last 12 years that I’ve been in these parts.

MAGNIFICANT SUNFLOWER

The wine berries are almost over, and the raspberries have been gone for several weeks.  They were huge.

CORNFLOWER'S

My butterfly bushes are gigantic (but no sign of the butterfly population), my 4 o’clock’s smell more intense than I can ever remember, and the skies seem bluer than I can recall.  I want to enjoy what is in front of me, drink it in.  Love what is.  Find the source behind all that I see, smell, notice these days.  I wonder if you are feeling this way too?  Well, I hope you are having a summer where your senses are taking in the beauty of the magnificent color and delight that comes through flowers, nature, and life!

BUTTERFLY BUSH AND HOLLYHOCKS

BELLO THE BELOVED

ARJUNA

Our friend, Arjuna da Silva, lives at Earthaven, an aspiring ecovillage in a mountain forest setting near Asheville, North Carolina. Everyone living there is dedicated to caring for people and the Earth by learning, living, and demonstrating a holistic, sustainable culture.  Arjuna helped start Earthaven in 1994, where she’s lived for the past twelve years.  She just moved into her earth & straw temple of a house there. Everyone who knows this beautiful woman over 50, celebrates her spirit.  Here is what she has to share…

ARJUNA'S HOME

Originally, I wanted to write a piece about what a joke it is to work my way through a day of living on the land, off the grid, learning to grow food, and recycling my waste into valuable (fertilizer) resources.  But after several tries, I realized those choices deserve much more credit and that my inner voice is the one who’d rather let someone else do all the hard stuff.

So, yes, I do start my day by (sometimes anxiously) checking the meter to see how my batteries held up overnight storing solar-accessed electric power; and I do pay attention to the weather report regarding the day’s anticipated power access.  I even pay attention to the calendar that tells me if the stars would treat my tomato seedlings better today than if I waited to plant them on Friday.

When I first started to write this piece, I called my draft, A Drop in the Bucket, intending to convey the double meaning of the “sustainable” life I choose to live.

• Meaning 1: peeing and pooping in containers so those resources can be utilized as soil amendments (instead of depending on fertilizers that have to be bought and shipped, possibly scraped off another part of the earth).
• Meaning 2: then there’s the more cynical reference being the effort us folk (who live in this valley) put into recycling, preserving, using renewables, etc., which is just a drop in the regional (let alone global) bucket.

ARJUNA ON THE LAND

But, today I’d rather tell you I’ve found ways to minimize the things I don’t like (carrying what’s too heavy, smelling what’s too foul, etc.), and feel pretty happy refining my rugged life into something that even fussy people might be able to handle.  In fact, I’m thinking others might choose this path if they could feel the inner rewards that come from paying attention to what we do and what we use to do it.

The  choice to take risks (as if anyone lives without them) and move in what looks like “the right direction” for oneself, one’s neighborhood or the planet, is such an uplifting choice!  The experience of following through on the nitty-gritty details of trial and error with new systems and organic self-reliance is exhilarating at times and is mostly just deeply satisfying.  Maybe you’d like to try it?

Please post your questions and comments here so we can have an open discussion.  Arjuna’s workshop, “Your Enneagram and Your Sub-Personalities” airs August 10-21 at Earthaven.  For more information, please email: arjuna@earthaven.org.  All power to the people!  Make your own, grow your own, and use your own!

THE ROAD TO EARTHAVEN

OH MORNING GLORY!

My husband’s iPhone flashed an alert last night while we were sitting on the front porch, cooling off from a hot work day, drinking a beer.  Some sort of App that he has that sends reports when they come in, no doubt.  That alert said that a chunk of the sun had spewed out into space, and that some of it was going to be hitting the earth and cause possible electromagnetic disturbances.  Maybe today.  And nothing more about when, where, or what that will mean.  I don’t have an iPhone, and I don’t watch Fox news or any TV, so I wouldn’t have known.  Hmmm, maybe it IS better to not know about everything, cuz I was wondering about that all day.

Even if I don’t want to know about “THE BIZARRE INTENSE NEWS OF THE MOMENT”, I keep hearing about it.  There’s something or someone telling you the latest thing that JUST happened, or is about to happen, that is kind of mind blowing.  I mean, really, an electromagnetic storm?  What does that mean???

So when I  stumble upon things that I find quite amazing, to keep the balance, I like to share them.

This week’s “finding the balance” share is Eric Whitacre‘s most amazing project with a virtual choir.

So do yourself a favor: click below and bliss out,

xxx

Sadhvi

Annice

I wanted to write about my dad on Father’s Day and now it’s too late.  You’re probably thinking who cares about Father’s Day now?  But I do.  You see, my dad, Sanford Brown, died April 28^th, barely two months ago, and I’m still grieving.

Me and my Dad only 2 years ago

It feels like I always will grieve, and maybe that’s why I haven’t been able write about him.  If it were any other topic, I’d just call it procrastination, but here, now, it’s more poignant.

I want to write about how close I was to my dad–tell you how I miss our telephone conversations about politics, books, current events, my work, and family, especially his grandchildren and great grandchildren.  At times, I find myself reaching for the phone to call, and then I realize that I will never hear his voice again.  Yes, it’s very sad.

My dad was 85, and one week before he died, I traveled to Cleveland to celebrate his 85^th birthday and Passover with our family.  He was especially proud to witness his nine-year-old great grandson, Jacob, conduct the entire Seder not only in English but Hebrew, too.  It was truly a spectacular day.

His great-grandson Jacob wanted to see the company my dad founded

Days after I got home, my sister called to say Dad was in the hospital, and it didn’t look good.  Back I went, hoping it would all work out.  Like many of you with aging parents, I always knew that dreaded call would come one day, but somehow, I still wasn’t prepared.  Despite the fact that my dad was 85 and had lived a good long life, it still seems too short.  And, despite the fact that he was not really sick and lived in the same house for the last 56 years surrounded by family and friends, it’s still too short.

Dad and grandsons Alexander & Mason in DC

If anyone were to ask me what I learned from my dad, I would tell them: how to love unconditionally, the importance of family, loyalty, forgiveness, charity, to travel and see the world; maintain a strong work ethic, and make sure there is laughter in your life.

While I haven’t perfected all of these qualities, I am forever grateful to have my dad’s teachings to guide me through my life’s journey.

Dad's 83rd birthday with a rare glass of cognac

PINCUSHION FLOWER IN SADHVI'S GARDEN

It’s kind of funny, because women under 50 don’t read this blog – they think it’s some kind of thang that they might catch, this being over 50.  And funny too that some of my friends who are men read it, secretly, never commenting.

No matter who you are these days, I have a feeling that all of us are in the same boat, as a humanity, and that the intensity, the shocks, are being felt on some level by everyone.

I have met people recently who have had the whole side of their house sheared off from a hail storm that hit in the middle of the night, with all windows being shattered in the house and their cars.  And I’m not talking about Joplin, Missouri either.

I have met people recently who have lost everything: their jobs, their homes, their future.  They have a blank look behind their eyes, that suggests no more hope.

I also meet a lot of people trying their best to believe themselves when they are asked how they are doing and they answer, “I’m Awesome!”

I realize that all of us are finding our own way to be OK with these times, in our own ways, the best we can.

Observing, feeling compassion and imagining that things will get better, once the chaos is over, is my way.  I am trying to be very open to magic and awe-some-ness.  So finding words from the mystic poet, Rumi is one of the gifts that I have stumbled upon recently that I want to share.

Wishing you well,

Sadhvi

“This being human is a guest house.  Every morning is a new arrival.  A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor…welcome and entertain them all.

Treat each guest honorably.  The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”

— Rumi

KATINA

I’ve known Katina since 1983.  We were young and had no fears about anything, and, we laughed a lot.  We share the same guru, we share astrologically, the same degree of moon and sun, and we share that wonderful connection of being loved and accepted by each other, no matter what.

I hope you enjoy what I found out about Katina that I didn’t know before this little interview.

1.  What was the name of the first record you ever bought?

I remember buying the Beatles album with the song, “I wanna hold your hand”.

2.  Who did you like more, The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?

The Beatles.

3.  What is the one thing you have to put on or have on that makes you feel good before leaving the house?

My push-up bra from Chantelle!

4.  What’s your favorite lipstick?

I like lip glosses instead of lipstick.  I like to go to Sephora online and try different ones.  I like one now that’s called “Sephora: Nectar Shine”.  It’s in a tube.

5.  What is your favorite comfort food?

I would have to say it’s a glass of Shiraz or a Zinfadel.  Lately I really like the Predator 2008 Red Zinfadel that’s around $13.99 a bottle.  Oh, and Archer Farms Cheddar Sourdough Twists!

6.  What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about being over 50?

My favorite thing is that I still feel and look OK.

My least favorite thing is that I have been dealing with a back problem for the last 7 years…and thankfully it’s getting better and I am starting to feel like my old self again.

7.  What is your most favorite thing to do that is “creative”?

Meditation is my most favorite thing to do because it makes me feel so good and connected and I’m creating awareness within.

Ah This!

Annice

It’s not supposed to snow a lot in Asheville, but this winter (like the rest of the country) we were covered up.  During the last snow storm, my husband decided to shovel his car out of the driveway even though I told him there was a huge sheet of black ice and it was too dangerous, and in fact stupid.  However, my dear husband was determined to get his car out of our driveway no matter what.  Did I say I live on a mountain 2200 ft. high and our driveway is one hell of a steep slope?

I won’t bore you with all the details about our driveway and the fact that a standard 8 ft. plow is too wide to go down it.  So, on that particular day, two weeks ago, my husband slipped and fell.  He said he didn’t hurt himself and proceeded to walk around for almost a week with pain that eventually got so bad he had to go to the doctor.  The next day, he was in surgery for a broken hip and 3 pins.

broken hip with pins

When accidents happen and you’re forced to get out of your daily routine and take care of someone, you get to look at how compassionate you are (or not) and how you react to change.  For me, it began even before the accident.  Unlike my husband, I just accepted the blizzard and the fact that I was stuck in the house and would be for a while.  We had food, heat, books, music, T.V., computers, telephone, beer, wine, chocolate, bread machine, flour, etc. so why was he so anxious about getting off the mountain?  Well, I asked him that question.  And here’s what he said:  “I just don’t like the idea of not being able to get out!”

The infamous driveway

I probed further.  “What do you mean?  What’s the big deal if you have to stay home for a few days?”

Husband: “I want to be able to get down the mountain in case of an emergency.”

Me: “What kind of emergency?”, I wondered.

Husband: “You never know.  An E-M-E-R-G-E-N-C-Y.  It could be anything.”

Me: “Oh, I get it.  We have to be ready for an E-M-E-R-G-E-N-C-Y.”

So, here I am, being a caregiver to someone who is stuck on pre-emptive emergency planning who happens to be an impatient, cranky and frustrated patient relegated to a walker for maybe 6 weeks.  So, thanks to my husband, I get to practice patience and compassion every day.  Sometimes, I make his favorite comfort foods, and bring him éclairs when I am running errands.  Sometimes, I want to punch him.  This past Sunday, I even dropped him off at a Super Bowl party, very eager to do it, I admit.  Of course,  I had an ulterior motive.  I wanted to do a two hour yoga class.  Thank you very much Cindy Dollar One Center Yoga, Asheville for that opportunity for harmony and balance in my life this week.  

I know this is a blog about smart and beautiful women over 50, but I could not, in good conscience let this day pass without honoring Dr. Martin Luther King Junior.   And, in an odd way, it reminds me of how much I like writing for   us women over 50, because Dr. King (like so many other great people of our era) is etched in our memory, and I       don’t  have to explain a thing.  All of us come to this blog with similar reference points in life which means so much   between us does not have to be explained.

Every year, I make it a point to listen to MLK’s 17 minute I have a dream speech delivered on April 28, 1963 on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.  It’s hard to believe I’ve been listening to this speech for over 40 years, and every year when I hear it, I’m amazed at how relevant and prophetic Dr.King’s words remain, especially given the recent I have a dream tragedy in Tucson.  So, without having to say more to my fellow sisters, I hope you’ll to listen to MLK’s great speech before the day is over, and I encourage you to share it with your children, and grandchildren who might  need some explaining about what this great man stood for.

To quote MLK, “Let freedom ring. And when this happens, and when we allow freedom ring—when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children—black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics –  will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”

Jane

I  just finished watching an episode of “North Carolina People” where William Friday interviews Lillie Sanders from Magnolia, North Carolina (July 2010). Mrs. Sanders is a 2007 recipient of the Nancy Susan Reynolds Award given by the Z. Smith Reynolds Foundation to  ”recognize the unsung heroes of North Carolina whose vision, determination, resourcefulness and strength of character have caused them to make a positive difference in the state.”

This incredible woman spends her life helping the people of her community by finding ways to give them the basic things they need for life.  She grew up in poverty, working hard on her grandmother’s farm, and she has had lots of hard times in her life, but instead of getting overwhelmed or depressed, she has  “taken every negative and turned it into a positive.”

She started in 1998 with the Clothes Closet in Duplin County,  in order to “make sure that people could stay warm and look decent, whether they had money or not.”  Giving her own clothes away first, she soon attracted donations of clothes from churches, agencies, and concerned citizens.  People can come to the Clothes Closet and shop for clothing, and they can choose to leave a money donation or not.

Jane

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this,
and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

A friend of mine sent me this as part of her holiday greeting this year, and I love it.  It sums up how I’m feeling about things these days.  This has been such a stressful year for so many people, with the economy’s troubles hitting people directly in the pocketbook and on their nerves!  It has made it difficult at times to feel very optimistic (and I’m speaking on a personal level)—and even harder to take a minute to just breathe in and breathe out.  I feel that I’ve been running around this whole year, chasing my tail, figuring that if I just moved faster or worked harder, things would somehow turn out better!

Well, birds are soaring outside my window today.  And we are due to have snow on Christmas—a white Christmas for the first time in at least 15 years!  Our Congress just passed some major legislation to make our world a better place:  the Stark treaty to limit nuclear proliferation, medical coverage for 9/11 rescue workers, and getting rid (finally) of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”   Too bad they couldn’t find the nerve to pass the Dream Act!  More good news:  home sales are up for the first time; teen births and our national crime rate are down.

So, I want our readers to take a minute with me and remember to breathe in and out, especially during the holidays!   And while I’m at it, all of us at Oops50 want to thank all our readers, advertisers, and guest writers for their comments and support this year.  It’s been a good year for us:  our numbers of subscribers are up; we’re reaching a wider audience of women over 50 around the globe; and we got noticed by Oprah Winfrey!  Life is good!  And we owe it to all of you.  To those who read us and never commented or subscribed, we hope you’ll take that big step into cyberspace next year and do it. To those who happen upon us from time to time, welcome!  A big Thank You from all of us at Oops 50!  In case you don’t know it, we love you!

And here is to breathing in and out in 2011!!!

The Biltmore Inn

You all have been introduced to my dear friend Adele Rose, and on Nov. 24^th she turned 88.  I say that’s a cause for celebration in grandiose style.  Joined by our favorite yoga teacher and friend, Cindy Dollar from One Center Yoga, the three of us arrived promptly for tea at 4:00 p.m.

In the Library at the Inn

Seated in the Library of the Inn surrounded by magnificent views of the mountains, Amanda, our server, emerged to place white linen napkins on our lap – or a black linen napkin in my case  so I wouldn’t get white lint on my trousers – oh so civilized.  Then, our new BFF, Amanda, opened a wooden tea chest displaying samples of loose tea which we sniffed so that we could make the most important decision of the day, choosing the perfect tea.

Cindy and Adelle enjoying High Tea

Me, I was seduced by the Mayan Chocolate Truffle herbal tea, described as a place, “where chocolate chips mingle with chunks of chili and red pepper, and bits of apple and strawberry in this stimulating herbal infusion with a sweet finish.”  

This artisan tea from the Mighty Leaf Tea Company has turned me into a loyal customer, and as soon as I returned home I went online to see if I could order it.  Sure enough, I could order not only loose tea but silky tea  pouches (not bags) that are stitched with 100% unbleached cotton.  I see many boxes of Mayan Chocolate Truffle tea in my future!

Once we decided on our tea, we were served traditional English finger sandwiches, followed by petit fours consisting of  scones, lemon cranberry bread, tea pastries, and let’s not forget the lemon curd, strawberry jam,  and Devonshire cream so vital to our scones, and oh so civilized!

So, like Anna, the 7th Duchess of Bedford who is often credited as having invented the tradition of afternoon tea in the early 1840′s, we spent several hours sipping tea, dining on petits fours, and enjoying the magnificent view.  In honor of the Duchess who was keen on proper tea etiquette, we managed not to spill anything on the table cloth or ourselves.

Oh so civilized!

According to the Duchess,  to avoid spilling the hot liquid onto oneself, one must hold the tea cup with one’s fingers to the front and back of the handle with the pinkie held up to allow balance.  By the way, pinkie up does not mean straight up in the air, but slightly tilted.  And by all means, never loop your fingers through the handle, nor grasp the vessel bowl with the palm of your hand.  Should you be inclined to forget you manners, let me remind you, do not stir your tea with your tea spoon in sweeping circular motions.  Place your tea spoon at the six o’clock position and softly fold the liquid towards the twelve o’clock position two or three times.  And, never never leave your tea spoon in your tea cup.  It belongs on the right side of the tea saucer.  And of course, never wave or hold your tea cup in the air!  When not in use, place the tea cup back in the tea saucer, unless you are at a buffet tea, then, be sure to hold the tea saucer in your lap with your left hand and hold the tea cup in your right hand.  When not in use, place the tea cup back in the tea saucer and hold in your lap.  The only time a saucer is raised together with the teacup is when one is at a standing reception.  Ok, did you get all that?

Frankly, during tea, we didn’t think twice about the Duchess and her rules of proper tea etiquette, not even for a second, and to be sure, we had a hell of a good time.  I think Henry James said it best, “There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea.  ~ The Portrait of a Lady

Jane

I’m having trouble with the season this year.  First of all, it’s been a hard year—with everyone having financial troubles, getting by on getting by.  And now, here comes the time of year when people are expected to be happy and cheerful and—most of all—to spend money.  It’s almost your patriotic duty to spend money this year, since it will help the economy! But spending money is hard in hard times, so why do we do it anyway?  Even though the economy is in terrible shape, Americans are out, crowding the stores, buying presents.  I sometimes get a physical feeling of revulsion when I go in a crowded mall full of people spending money they don’t have.  And I’m not excluding myself from that group.  I’m out there, with the best of them. 

My family celebrates Christmas, and I wish the burden of our particular holiday could be lifted a bit.  I think it’s wonderful to give people gifts and show people you love them, but I wish there were not so much guilt wrapped up in this season.  The mother’s version goes something like this: “But if I don’t buy my daughter those $200 boots, she might think I don’t love her.” Or, “But she has been wanting that Wii for ever, so really we should just put it on the damn credit card.” Or “If I buy this present at the bargain store, will she be able to tell somehow?” 

I suspect the guilt factor is worse for mothers than for fathers, but fathers feel it, too.  They just express it differently:  “I should have gotten him that warmer jacket, no matter how much it cost!”

I’d like for there to be a big confession booth in the sky, where we could all step into at this time of year and say, “I have sinned.  I came up short.  I couldn’t buy all the presents I wanted to for people.  I couldn’t give my children the trip to Europe that so-and-so gave to theirs. But could I please just get some extra credit for wanting to give them those things?”  In my dream confessional booth, there would be a spiritual guide behind a curtain who would say, “Don’t worry.  You are doing the best you can.”  Then, maybe, we could walk out, our shoulders lighter, and enjoy the season more.

 I hope we’ll hear from our readers about their ways of dealing with the stresses of this holiday season.  I know that, for many of our readers, it helps to focus on the manger scene or the menorah or their own religious symbols that remind them of the wonder of life on this planet.  And I agree that is important. But religious belief doesn’t always eliminate the demands of the season that can drive us to distraction.   So I’m going to pretend that booth is there for me, and I guess I’ll have to be my own absolver, so that I can relax a bit and think about what really matters:  my family will soon be gathered together for Christmas, all in one house, safe and sound for a little while, before we all scatter again to the four winds.

Sadhvi

Being a woman over 50, I thought I might want to write something about Menopause every now and again.  It isn’t taboo, but I think that for me it’s just been so intense that I don’t know what to say.

Really.  I mean, who wants to hear someone write about how they don’t know who they are anymore?   Besides, I have a funny feeling that dealing with this Change is kind of like trying to find the “perfect  bra”, having the “perfect job”, or communicating clearly with my husband: there really isn’t an answer, it’s just a mystery and a challenge to be lived on a daily basis!

Not only is there the pressure to look good these days, to be thin enough not to be considered “fat”, to not be negative, but rather positive, to be politically and socially correct, to work out or do some sort of Yoga or Pilates to stay in shape as I get older, but every morning there’s the challenge of facial hair.

Susun Weed

I have a book, “New Menopausal Years, The Wise Woman Way: Alternative Approaches for Women 30-90″  that I opened from my bookshelf to see what herbalist and Wise Woman Susun Weed had to say about it: you can just click HERE to go to that information online. 

If you find the time, you should go to one of Susun’s events, and most definitely, buy any of  her books.

In a nutshell, I can tell you that it’s not going to go away and I will have to keep up with the daily maintenance of it, well, for the rest of my life.  And for everyone’s sake I really hope I don’t forget.

My mother, who is still alive, has not really spoken much about her Menopausal years to me…maybe the whole topic was as mystifying to her as it is to me now.  Mom?

In the past couple of years I have had all the symptoms associated with this Change and I am thankful that they didn’t all happen on the same day, because then I wouldn’t be writing to you via this blog post, but rather from a prison cell somewhere in Missouri.

When it gets brought up with girlfriends, there is always someone who didn’t have ANY symptoms, who is having wild sex all the time with her husband or new, younger lover, or someone who just started taking some hormones from horse urine and swears it makes her look 20 years younger.  Then there are my girlfriends who are in their 60′s who tell me that their menopausal symptoms have never gone away.  So there ya go!  It’s like I said before, it’s all a mystery.

Maybe it just comes down to accepting this new me as I get older, just as it always been throughout my life of being OK and enjoying what is, no matter what age. 

Amen, and seriously now, may you have a good night’s sleep and awake with no facial hair in the morning!

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

(Reinhold Niebuhr: American theologian 1892-1971)

Annice

Sending a Shout-Out to our beautiful women over 50 who’ve been asking about writing a post on the oops50.com blog.

We invite you (all women over 50) to share your stories and experiences with our readers.  We know there are tons of subjects you care about because we know, like us, you never tire of speaking your mind!  And, don’t forget to ask your mothers, sisters, cousins, friends, colleagues, etc.  We all have intriguing and important stories to tell.   We’ll take your article (not more than 250 words) and we’ll edit it, post it, and promote it.

Some of favorite categories are: Friendship,  Aging parents, Children/Grandchildren; Cooking; Gardening; Pets;  Relationships; Health and Wellness; Spirituality; Menopause; Sleep (or the lack of); Work; Retirement (I wish); Starting Over; Books; Films; and of course, if you are inspired, you can always write about Death and Taxes.

If you’re interested, please contact me at: Annice@oops50.com and I’ll send you our guidelines.

I’m all Ears

Annice

Given all the fuss a post or two ago about Oprah looking for women obsessed with aging and beauty, I am happy to turn that page and introduce you to a beautiful and creative  woman over 50 who is far too busy creating cards and more for us women over 50 than being obsessed with aging.   Meet Diane English, a self-taught artist who owned a metaphysical book store in St. Augustine, Florida before moving to Asheville, NC 10 years ago.   After reading The Artist’s Way by Julie Cameron, Diane decided to follow her dream of combining art with her spiritual path allowing her to embark on the next phase of her life.  After visiting her in her studio and seeing many of her cool, cosmic characters, I’d say she is living her dream – minus the downtown condo she covets.

Diane at play, oops, I mean work.

Diane is the owner and creator of  The Great Cosmic Happy Ass Card Co, and if you’ve never received one of her cards, send yourself one.  Why not?  They’re inspiring, whimsical and just plain old kick-ass funny.  This is one of my favorites. This beautiful woman over 50 has aspired to achieve a higher consciousness along her journey, and not without some help from “years of deep meditation, medication, fasting, prayer and a few bottles of Merlot.”  Having had a subscription to her cards,  I knew I was in for a treat when we finally sat down in her lovely bright living room drinking coffee and nibbling scones.

Oops50: What made you finally decide to leave Florida and your bookstore, “Dream Street,” and go into the card business?

Diane: About once every 7 years, I did a painting, and one of them was titled, “Reach for Your Stars.” That became my first card, and it sold out in my bookstore.  Then, I made more cards and magnets, and soon those sales were accounting for 20% of my gross revenue.  That’s when the big box book stores moved in, and I took that as sign to make a change.

Oops50: Kind of like the movie, “You’ve Got Mail.”

Diane: You got it.

Oosp50: How did you come up with the business name, Great Cosmic Happy Ass Co. ?

Diane: I really wanted to use smart ass but I didn’t feel I could really do that.  So, my customers helped me pick the name.

Oops50:  So now I’m going to change the subject a little.  What’s your fondest childhood memory?

Diane: My grandfather carrying me on his shoulders while walking me to the zoo.  He was Irish and English, and we lived in Philly and walked everywhere.  When we got to the zoo, there was a blackbird in a cage at the entrance and he said, “Hi, I’m Joe.”

Oops50: What’s was the first record you bought? Diane: It’s a tie between Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto and Bill Haley and the Comets.

Oops50: Any advice for women over 50?

Diane: Well, I’m well over 50 – 68 in fact.  Don’t listen to anyone.  Follow your heart and do what you want to do.  Don’t be intimidated by the “should’s” in life.  Oh yeah, and keep your nose out of other people’s business.

Oops50:  Right.  I need to remember that.  So what turns you on?

Diane: A romantic dinner in an Italian restaurant, with Luciano Pavarotti singing in the background.

Oops50: So you like Italian?

Diane: I had an aunt who married an Italian, and I remember wonderful Italian dinners.  And I like to cook Italian food–outrageously delicious.

Oops50: What next?  Any new dreams?

Diane: A downtown condo with a large patio and a great view of the mountains of Western NC.  It should have a cable railing, a fireplace on the left side, a kitchen behind that, and a loft upstairs.  The light will be clean and beautiful.  And, don’t forget Rachmaninoff playing in the background.

Oops50: Any must have products you can’t live without?

Diane: My Netflix subscription and Roku, so I can download old movies.

Oops50: So what’s your favorite movie?

Diane: “Casablanca.”  And have you seen “Sunshine Cleaning?”  A very funny movie.

Oops50: So what’s Roku?

Diane: It’s great.  A little black box that lets you stream movies from Netflix.  It’s great.

Oops50: I’ll check it out.  Last question:  Any regrets so far?

Diane: Only that I didn’t know in my 20s what I know now.  And, that I don’t have the same body as I did in my 20’s.

Oops50: Who does?

Rize Cole on her birthday getting a ride w/Harley Davidson instructor Susan Harrison.

Staying in my Lane

I often hear the words “Be you for you.” 

 I chose to internalize this by taking full responsibility.  

I WILL BE ME FOR ME.

We are constantly focusing on the exterior, “what will they think and what will they say?”.   What matters to me is what I think and what I say.  What I am thinking is a powerful clue as to what is in my consciousness .  When we are looking at the exterior, are we neglecting the interior and what is resonating within?

As an elder, I have come to the realization that this is my journey and I can take the fast or scenic route, whichever suits me.

Being an elder can be awesome if you are mentally, physically and spiritually healthy.  For some of us, it is the first time we can stand in our truth, think of self first and be impeccable.  I am aware many elders are still stuck in the past, living with regrets and should have’s, but for most of us it is a joyful time to do our own thing.  I have no concerns about the opinions of others.  What am I supposed to do with what someone thinks of me?  I can observe…they are thinking, but they are in my lane and need to get back in their lane and MTOB (mind their own business).

I may also choose to have fun with them. One of my favorite ways to walk in the world is by tooting my horn when someone makes a decision to get into my lane.  This may look like a tilt of my head and a gentle smile, or I may change lanes by changing the subject.  If they are bold or rude enough to follow me into my new lane, I might let them have it with both barrels, which may sound like a giant laugh and a hug or I may just say something like, “ Oh… listen to that beautiful bird singing” or “Oh… I do love your hat” and continue talking about my love of hats, birds or whatever until they get back into their lane or forget what they had asked me in the first place.

Results: My blood pressure is ok and their feelings are intact.

77 year old poet Rize Cole currently lives in West Columbia, South Carolina.

Rize enjoys traveling, reading, cooking and whatever makes her happy!

You can contact her at mizrize77@yahoo.com

Sadhvi

I need to share this.  A good friend of mine sent it to me, and asked if I could post it.  I just got done watching this YouTube video and it gave me goosebumps.  That always happens to me when I hear the Truth.  Take a look, and see how it affects you.  It is time to end the war.  It is time to wake up!

Sadhvi

I remember reading the book, Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert when it first came out in February 2007.  It was so good that I didn’t stop until I was done, and I continued talking like Ms. Gilbert for a few weeks after.  Then again, I also dressed and talked like Diane Keaton’s character in the Woody Allen movie,  ”Annie Hall” for a long time after seeing it.  I guess I’m just a wee bit impressionable, no?!   

I knew when I finished the book that it would be made into a Hollywood movie at some point, and sure enough, Julia Roberts bought the rights shortly after it came out.  She stars in the movie that is coming to the screens next month.  So if you have NOT read the book, DO!  The book is gonna be hard to beat.   

Here’s the trailer, take a look, and hopefully, we will all enjoy a good film this summer taken from a great book!

Content coming soon.

The First Annual “Sing to the Trees”

April 22, 2010: Earth Day

It is quite remarkable what one person with a vision can do.  Susan Hale used Facebook to call people together from all over the planet to sing to the trees.  She has heard from over 2400 people in 33 countries and 27 states.

So today try to participate in a global perpetual choir to thank the trees, give them our prayers, and listen to their response and to their wisdom about living on the earth in sacred harmony.

Just sing to the trees wherever you are at 12 noon and join the global choir!

Sadhvi

It is important for me to know when the planet of communication, which includes computers, emailing, telephone messages, and just your basic “please pass the salt”,  is retrograde.

Why?  Just because.  I mean, if Mercury is retrograde, then I know it’s not just me.

It’s going back to whatever “normal” means on May 11th.  Good luck and good night.

Mercury Retrograde
Saturday, April 17 – May 11, 2010

The messenger planet’s backward turn marks a three-week period when double-checking data, maintaining equipment and communicating carefully are recommended. A tendency to make more errors than usual is common during this cycle. Yet the gift of Mercury retrograde is that it provides a second chance to reconnect with people and to tie up loose ends. Completing unfinished business and reviewing systems to make them more efficient are constructive uses of this transit.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of “cocktails”, “highballs” and just a good old-fashioned “stiff drink”. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

20th floor of a building.  They were eating lunch, and the Irishman said, “Corned beef and

cabbage!  If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this

building!”

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, “Burritos again!  If I get burritos one

more time, I’m going to jump off, too.”

The blond opened his lunch and said, “Bologna again!  If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I’m jumping too.”

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped too.

The blond guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna sandwich, and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman’s wife was weeping.  She said, “If I’d known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!”

The Mexican’s wife also wept and said, “I could have given him tacos or enchiladas!  I didn’t realize he hated burritos so much.”

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde’s wife.  The blonde’s wife said, “Don’t look at me! He makes his own lunch!”

Annice

On Feb. 17^th, my dear Aunt Frances died at the age of 82.  She was the last aunt of the Brown sisters, leaving my father with no remaining siblings, and he is sad.  I understand that sadness because I know how sad I would be without my sisters and my brother.  When my dad called last week to tell me the news, he ended the conversation by saying, “Enjoy your life because it doesn’t last long enough.” And while my dad is more than 25 years older than I am, I feel the force of that statement.

For me, Aunt France’s death feels like the end of an era, an era of women who were “ladies,” and naturally so.  It’s not that ladies don’t exist today, but that term is almost never used to define anyone of our generation.  (I felt the same way when Jackie Kennedy died.)  An era has passed, and our generation is now the generation of mothers and aunts that will be defined by our daughters and nieces.  What will they say about us?

My Aunt Frances always took great care to look her best.  She was witty and knew what to say and when to say it.  She never wore white after Labor Day and was never without lipstick.  She always sent a card for significant birthdays, 18, 21, 30, 40, and 50.  Most importantly, my aunt was forever doing for others.  Her obituary said it right:  “She was passionate about contributing to the community, and rarely, if ever, said ‘no’ when asked to help individuals and organizations.  Hadassah, a women’s Jewish organization, was the one closest to her heart.”

In fact, when I got my first job in Washington, D.C., Aunt Frances paid for my membership in Hadassah for many years, which included a monthly magazine.  I was never interested in Hadassah and finally cancelled the subscription.  Aunt Frances accepted my decision without asking why.  As for me, I’m sure I would have pressured my niece to explain. 

What I liked most about my aunt is that she was a good listener.  Unlike my mother, who yelled first and then asked questions, Aunt Frances did the opposite.  Something else that endeared me to her was that she liked to talk about books.  Like my dad, and like me, she was particularly fond of historical novels, and if they had a Jewish theme, plot, or central character, all the better.  I remember the very last book we discussed, Suite Francaise by Irene Nemirovsky, the French novelist.  I was reading it on that particular visit to Cleveland but hadn’t finished it in time to leave it with her. I told her about the author and how she sent her two daughters to the South of France to hide them from the Nazis during the occupation of Paris—daughters who survived while Nemirovsky perished in Auschwitz.  The book is incredible because it is written during the actual time.  Nemirovsky’s oldest daughter found the manuscript but could not bring herself to read it until 50 years later.  When she did, she sent it to a publisher, and in 2004 it became am international bestseller, selling over 2.5 million copies. Later that evening, I shared that conversation with my dad, and he went out the very next day and bought three copies, one for Aunt Frances, one for him, and one to pass around to other family members.

My dad and his siblings were first- generation Americans, and after the war, their family home was a pied a terre for family members from Hungary and Czechoslovakia who had survived the concentration camps.  Both my dad and my aunt became close friends with their cousins whom they met for the first time after the war.  They were greatly moved by that experience, which, I believe, inspired them to always help others.  Even though they grew up poor during the Depression, they saw their lives as privileged when compared to the survivors of Auschwitz.

My Aunt Frances lived a life full of meaning and purpose, and she will always be remembered by me.

Sadhvi

This past weekend we were snowed in.  Last Tuesday and Wednesday we had a blizzard with constant winds of about 50 mph, night and day.  The weekend before we had 3 solid days of non-stop rain, with a little mud slide thrown in nearby.  Now I know, I could be 6 feet under rubble in Haiti, so believe me, I am not complaining:  I am just noticing things!

So if I could get away, it wouldn’t be to the Caribbean, it wouldn’t be to Mexico, it would be to one of my favorite thermal baths in Switzerland.

When I lived in Switzerland http://www.myswitzerland.com, I got such a thrill out of taking the train and going to one of the many beautiful, clean, and affordable hot springs.  I liked to visit and experience the different minerals that made up each of the hot springs.

It was very interesting to find that the salt-based hot springs made me feel like I had just been disinfected; very clean, and all cuts were healed.  The baking soda mineral bath was a true delight!  It made my skin feel like silk, and it was the most relaxing.  In the little town of Vals was a smallish pool that had mountain meadow herbs like fresh-cut hay and lavender flowers that was very nice.

But maybe my most favorite was the one in a little village called Scuol in an area that speaks a language that is a mixture of German, French, and Italian, and that language is called Romansch.  It is supposedly a dying language, which makes it intriguing right there.  Listening to people speak Romansch, which is Latin-based like English, made me feel as if I was not on the planet Earth, and I like that feeling -  a lot.

I wish I could take a few weeks off and go to Switzerland, where they are also having record amounts of snow and cold.

But at least they have these incredible mineral baths that you can escape to!  Where dipping  your toe  into 38 degree Celsius water (that’s 100.4 °F) and feeling the body turn into liquid relaxation as you slink into the waters that make you feel like you have gone back to a primodial place called  “Aahhhhhh” … yes, I’ll take one of those right now, please.