My heart is heavy tonight, so heavy that I can’t think of anything funny or cheerful to write about. My state just voted in a totally unnecessary constitutional amendment–to ban gay marriage.

It is embarrassing to me to live in a state capable of doing such a mean-spirited thing.  It’s embarrassing to me that the people working so hard against the amendment had to point out how it would hurt not only gays but also  heterosexual couples–in order just to get people to listen.  It’s most embarrassing to me that the forces of ignorance and prejudice and bigotry won out, in the end, over the forces of open-mindedness, acceptance, and love.

I am ashamed to call myself a North Carolinian tonight.  And I can’t understand the vote–not at all. I don’t get it.  I don’t see how something this small-minded could get enough votes to pass.  I don’t see how anyone who thinks of himself/herself as a decent human being or a kind-hearted person could possibly vote for something that basically says to a neighbor, a co-worker, a colleague something like this:  “I may act like I like you, but when push comes to shove, I really don’t like you all that much–because in my heart of hearts, I am threatened by you.  You scare me, with the ways you are different from me, so I put up walls around my little, small-minded world, to keep you out.  I even think I need to change the laws of my state, just to make sure that you don’t ever have the same rights I have.”

We did this once before in our history.  This state’s legislators made special laws because of fear–fear that people that were different from them might contaminate their water fountains or swimming pools– fear that, worst of all, they might end up in their families.  Now we fear that granting gay people the right to be legally married (and have the protections that brings) will somehow hurt our own marriages.  (Maybe our deepest fear is that our children might turn out to be “one of them.”)  All I can say is, anyone who is that worried about marriage must be in a pretty shaky marriage to begin with.  We only fear earthquakes when we live on shaky ground.

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In years to come–and I hope it won’t take long–maybe just long enough to get all the old dinosaurs out of office and get young people in there who have grown up in a world where being gay is, frankly, not that big of a deal.  Maybe then we will look back on this vote, and we will feel ashamed to be numbered among the states that felt they needed  a constitutional amendment to legitimize their own bigotry.  We’re bound to overturn this law eventually–because, in the end, justice usually does roll down like water–but what a waste, in the meantime.  What a hateful, hurtful way to treat our fellow citizens.  What a waste of time and money, to put up an exclusive, gated-community kind of law that says, “I claim God as mine–not yours.  My marriage is sanctioned by the Allmighty; yours isn’t–because I said so.”

I read an article in our paper recently about a local soccer star who was unable to come out of the closet while he lived in North Carolina, even though he was the star first of his local high school soccer team–and then of his college team.  It took moving to Canada, where he played professional soccer, and living in an atmosphere of acceptance, for him to finally be able to acknowledge his homosexuality to the world.  In the article, he urged people to vote against the amendment so that young people like him might not have to hide themselves–or their love– away.  How many more young people will have to suffer before we get the message?  How many more gay couples will have to hide themselves away?

My state has let me down, and I am heart sick.

My husband said tonight, “Let’s move to Canada.”  I’m in.

Jim Rogers, CEO, Duke Energy

Since the primary election is almost upon us here in North Carolina–and since early voting starts this week, I want to urge all of our North Carolina readers to vote against the so-called “marriage amendment” on May 8th.  Even if you weren’t intending to vote in this primary (which I normally wouldn’t be, since it’s a Republican primary), PLEASE PLEASE go vote against this ridiculous amendment to our state’s constitution.  This amendment will, to put it simply, set us back several hundred years by institutionalizing and legitimizing discrimination.  Not only that, but it will also make life harder even for heterosexual couples who live together.  As I understand it, under this change in our state’s laws, businesses would no longer be able to offer domestic partners of any kind–homosexual or heterosexual– any kind of health insurance benefits.  Also, people who are not married will have no protection against  acts of domestic violence.

This kind of change has already taken place in the other states in this country that have voted a similar amendment into law.  So readers in other places, watch out!  You could be next!

This type of backlash against the progress of human rights is well-funded and beautifully orchestrated.  And it’s no accident that this important vote has been placed in the middle of a Republican primary ballot–certainly not a normal hangout for liberal voters!

I was proud to see that Jim Rogers of Duke Energy,  joined other business leaders across the state, including the head of Self-Help Credit Union and top officials at Bank of America, in speaking out against the amendment last week, stating that if we are to be a state that wants to conduct business with other states and especially with other nations, then we cannot afford to be seen as discriminatory or not inclusive.  He also said, “I’m old fashioned.  I believe we’re all children of God, and we shouldn’t have special rules for some and not for others.  We have to recognize differences in people and celebrate those differences.”  

I am embarrassed that my state is even debating this subject.  This kind of legalized discrimination should be something in our past, something we have risen above, not something right here in front of us, and definitely not something we are trying to vote into law.  Isn’t it about time that the citizens of our state showed that we are educated, thinking people with hearts,  who care about the rights of all North Carolinians, not just the fill-in-the blanks  (white, straight, male, wealthy, married, whatever) ones?

Please join two former mayors of Charlotte, Harvey Gantt and Richard Vinroot (from opposing political parties) and the Wake County Board of Commissioners and the Orange County Board of Commissioners and, among others, the city councils of the cities of Greensboro, Durham, and Asheville and vote against this amendment.

To read the rest of Mr. Rogers’ speech, go to www.protectncfamilies.org.  That website can also tell you other ways to support the campaign against this amendment, by sending in a donation, signing a pledge to vote against it, or participating as a volunteer.

Let’s protect ALL North Carolina families, not just the ones who look like us.

SADHVI

These days I am increasingly aware of how much information I take in while not reading newspapers nor having any TV to watch.  It’s all from the internet.

So, with this post, I want to share a personal sigh of relief:

President Obama has delayed the Keystone XL Pipeline! Say thanks, and ask him to reject it once and for all.

And to bring awareness to another MAJOR issue that is going to affect a whole lot of people.  People who happen to be my family.  My friends.  Maybe yours too?

It’s about a decision to start drilling in land that will affect the Delaware River basin after a long moratorium.  Not just one drill, but a LOT of drilling.  Just the idea that lots and lots of fracking is about to occur, and that the Delaware River basin is going to be affected by all the chemicals that will flow into it makes me nauseous.

I could pretend that it’s all awesome and that it won’t be that bad, but instead, I choose to bring awareness to it.  And for those of you who are afraid of awareness, don’t be.  Because in times like this, it’s OK to to notice and say that the Emperor is not exactly fully clothed.

You might not be able to physically participate, but you can call to say something.

Call the Governors from the member states and President Obama Monday – Friday from 8-6pm.

Just tell them,

“Hello, I am calling you to express my serious concerns about hydrofracking.  Please Don’t Drill the Delaware!”

Governor Christie’s office:609-292-6000

Governor Cuomo’s office: 518-474-8390

Gov Corbett’s office: 717-787-2500

Gov Markell’s Wilmington Office: 302-577-3210

And the White House comment line: 202-456-1111

In case you don’t really feel like it, you might after you watch Josh Fox‘s video of what is at stake.

SAVE THE DELAWARE from JFOX on Vimeo.

And lastly, I was listening to some NPR on the radio in my car the other night, and a singer came on and spoke, and then sang and played.  She is not a newbie to the music scene, but she is new to me.

Abigail Washburn.  I really liked what I heard. I felt comforted.

And these days, it is about finding the balance between being aware of how fragile it all is, and moments of comfort and joy.

Wishing you Well,

Sadhvi

Annice and founder, Corinna

The 7th annual SE Women’s Herbal Conference

What a great week-end I had at the 7^th annual Southeast Women’s Herbal Conference in Asheville, NC.  This year, was the biggest conference ever, almost 900 women gathered to learn, connect, and deepen into the Wise Woman Tradition… earth-based healing, local plants, & deep nourishment.  Those of you who know me, know I’m not an herbalist but I tend to use herbs and natural products as my first line of defense when I feel something coming on.  This conference brought together such an amazing group of healers, and not only did I get to attend this year, but the organizers invited me to monitor the Embodiment track.  There were 8 incredible classes ranging from Shadow Work; Making Peace with your Body; Our Predatory Nature; and the Power of the Drum.  Let me just say that listening (and dancing) to over 100 women learning to drum was phenomenal, and these women practically brought the tent down.

What I loved most about the class was the teacher, Kristen Arant, who runs a non-profit in Washington, D. C. called the Young Women’s Drumming Empowerment Project which helps promote self-esteem in young women.  Now why didn’t anything like that exist when I was growing up?

President Obama visits Asheville

So, after an inspiring week-end, I was given a ticket to attend Obama’s kick-off speech in Asheville to promote his “Jobs Act” bus tour. What amazed me was that after living in D.C. for 20 years, I could still get excited about seeing the President and shaking his hand.  I know North Carolina is a battleground state, but hey, he won it before, and it ain’t over till it’s over.

Annice

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It seems like the media is never short on scandals about married men behaving badly.  Even Marlo Thomas has written about it.  I admit, I am fascinated by scandals about men in positions of power or men who put themselves up as role models and then get caught with their pants down.  (Check out our archives about other stories I’ve written abut men behaving badly).   And, isn’t it great that wives today (many are women over 50) can decide for themselves whether to stay or go?  But, I am waiting for one of these wives to stand up at a press conference and call her husband a big jerk.

I played a little game with myself to see how many of these jerks I could remember, with little effort, I came up with this list:

• Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-N.Y.) for sexting
• Strauss-Kahn (Director of the IMF) accused of rape
• Schwarzenegger (no explanation needed)
• John Edwards (former Senator and Presidential contender) for having an affair and love child while his wife was dying of cancer
• Newt Gingrich – ditto (minus the love child)
• Governor Sanford (South Carolina) for having an affair who he claimed was his “soul mate”
• Elliot Spitzer former Governor of NY caught in a high-priced prostitution ring
• Tiger Woods professional golfer and admitted sex addict
• Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas (sexual harassment scandal)

Seems like the cure-all for all these boys behaving badly is simply to hold a press conference, tell us they are seeking professional treatment to focus on becoming a better person, and then they’re all better.  Really, Rehab for Jerks?

Rehab for Jerks

Where are they?  I’d like to refer a few.

AMANA AILE SHEBAR

Years ago I was the Title X Training manager for the state of New Mexico and had many opportunities to work with Planned Parenthood and its affiliates  nationwide.  The services that Title X provides to women of childbearing age are vast and vital, and are efficiently and compassionately offered to clients across all walks of life: women with insurance (who could be denied coverage even under threat of death) and women on entitlement programs such as Medicaid.  Efforts to totally defund these Title X programs and to deny coverage via insurance claims will destroy mainstream, dependable sources of health care like Planned Parenthood.  These efforts are gaining momentum every day among Republican and Blue Dog legislators and your voice is urgently needed!

We are facing the possibility of tremendous and unimaginable setbacks in women’s health care with several bills being debated in Congress now.  We must speak out or as a nation, we will soon lose our precious democratic values: that each person is promised life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Please speak out through Planned Parenthood or by going to NARAL Pro-Choice America.

Your voices can help to stop the undermining of women’s hard fought rights in determining the number and the spacing of their offspring, and to assist all women of childbearing age in receiving the reproductive health care services they need.

Women are under siege in this current congressional climate, and in order to understand more about the situation with the Republican anti-women agenda and the proposed bills, this interview (click below), is worth viewing.

A War on Women”: DN! Exclusive with Planned Parenthood’s Cecile Richards on GOP Bills Targeting Abortion and Reproductive Rights

If you haven’t already done so, sign on to the letters and petitions that are being delivered to Congress on behalf of all women in America.

Your voices have never been so urgently needed, in all the decades since Roe vs. Wade.  Will you add your voice?

"THE HUG" copyrights sadhvi 2011

Jane

I heard again this morning from my dear friend in Ivory Coast.  He sent me the article below, with just this simple message:

Hope you all are doing fine.
Please find attached report on the ordeal
we are going through.
May the Lord help us.

I read the article and was filled with hopelessness and frustration.  I believe that Ivory Coast is becoming another Rwanda in front of our eyes, and the world is standing by, not taking action.  I urge our readers to read this painful story and then contact their congresspeople and their senators, asking them to do something to bring action from the civilized world.  It’s such a small thing, but if we join together, perhaps we can have some effect!

By RUKMINI CALLIMACHI, Associated Press Rukmini Callimachi, Associated Press –

ABIDJAN, Ivory Coast – The entrance to the morgue is like a mouth through which comes an awful smell. It hits you as far back as the parking lot and makes your eyes water. From a dozen yards away, it’s strong enough to make you throw up.

What lies inside is proof of mass killings in this once-tranquil country of 21 million, where the sitting president is refusing to give way to his successor. Nearly every day since Laurent Gbagbo was declared the loser of the Nov. 28 election, the bodies of people who voted for his opponent have been showing up on the sides of highways.

Their distraught families have gone from police station to police station looking for them, but the bodies are hidden in plain sight in morgues turned into mass graves. Records obtained by The Associated Press from four of the city’s nine morgues show that at least 113 bullet-ridden bodies have been brought in since the election. The number is likely much higher because the AP was refused access to the five other morgues, including one where the United Nations believes as many as 80 bodies were taken.

The bodies are being held hostage and not released to families. Morgue workers say government minders are stationed outside to monitor what goes in or out.

A list of the dead that the AP was allowed to see on the laptop of a company that manages three downtown morgues shows the bodies began arriving Dec. 1, the night the country’s electoral commission was due to announce that opposition leader Alassane Ouattara had won. The AP also saw legal documents from authorities instructing funeral homes to pick up bodies found on public roads, and the paperwork handed to families.

The names of the dead indicate they are largely Muslim and from the country’s north, the demographic that voted in largest numbers for Ouattara, himself a Muslim from the north.

“The overwhelming number of victims of political violence in Abidjan were either real or perceived supporters of Ouattara,” said Human Rights Watch senior researcher Corinne Dufka, the author of a report on the post-election violence. “Many were picked up and killed simply on the basis of their family name.”

Families have been allowed inside the morgues only long enough to identify their relatives, if at all. They cannot take their loved ones for burial because the government, still controlled by Gbagbo, has not given the go-ahead for autopsies on bodies with bullet wounds. Funeral home directors say the procedure is normally approved within 48 hours.

Diaby Madoussou, 40, has been waiting for two months. She found her husband lying face down on the pavement where he had taken part in a march to support Ouattara, recognized internationally as the winner of the vote. Ouattara now lives in a hotel under 24-hour United Nations protection, its lobby crowded with supporters taking refuge.

Madoussou turned over her husband’s body. He had been shot twice in the ribs.

She took off her pagne and used the wraparound skirt to cover him. She waited beside him wearing only her underclothes until the morgue sent a car to pick up the body. They handed her a ‘fiche d’entree,’ or entry sheet stating that his body would be stored in vault No. 50 in a morgue in the outlying suburb of Anyama.

“They told me that I need to leave the body there. At the morgue. They say I need to wait … I don’t understand. Why won’t they let me take him?” said Madoussou, who has five children. She now spends her days on the floor, her back against the concrete wall of her living room, her eyes staring at the other wall.

Many families have only this piece of paper to prove that their loved ones were killed, because police stations are refusing to file police reports. Dozens of victims were seen dragged from their homes and forced into official vehicles.

Gbagbo’s government has denied committing any abuses. However, assistant state prosecutor Jean-Claude Aboya conceded that autopsies have not been conducted.

“We’re aware of these bodies in the morgues,” said Aboya. “The chief prosecutor has told us that there will be an investigation, but he’s holding off until things are calmer before proceeding.”

Bodies have also been found on highways, freeway medians and trash heaps, and in the lagoons coursing through this palm-lined commercial capital that was once considered among the most stable in Africa.

It has been anything but that since Gbagbo came to power 10 years ago. He signed an alphabet soup of treaties named after the numerous capitals from Lome to Pretoria to Ouagadougou where mediators tried to coax Gbagbo to hold an election. He succeeded in pushing back the election for five years until it was finally held last fall.

In the meantime, a civil war broke out and the country’s lagoon-side cafes emptied out. The fighting pitted northerners who wanted Gbagbo out against southerners who supported him.

Now the shores of the glassy lagoon lap up trash. The few cafe clients left are nearly all men, because those who could sent their wives abroad to shield them from the waves of political violence that crash down on this Italy-sized country every time Gbagbo feels cornered.

A confidential 2004 United Nations report obtained by the AP detailed the rise of government death squads that in 2002 started carrying out ‘disappearances’ of people seen as threats to Gbagbo. The United Nations obtained a video cassette showing as many as 200 cadavers strewn across the road in one locality.

There was a ripple of hope when the election finally went ahead, especially after Gbagbo promised to abide by results issued by the electoral commission. As soon as results began trickling in, however, foreign TV stations were ordered off the air, and the head of the commission began receiving death threats.

The first bodies to be registered at one downtown morgue were unidentified. They all appear in the morgue’s records as ‘Mr. X.’

Thirty-eight-year-old Abdoulaye Coulibaly, who worked for a political nonprofit aligned with Ouattara, was in an open-air restaurant when soldiers surrounded it.

“They started to shoot and people started running,” said his cousin, who pieced together what happened from other clients. Coulibaly was grabbed along with a colleague and put in the truck. “To this day, there is no trace of him … We searched everywhere,” said the cousin, Moussa Coulibaly.

The death squads made repeated trips to Abobo, a majority Muslim suburb that voted in large numbers for Ouattara. Gbagbo is an evangelical Christian who is accused of having purged Muslims from the armed forces.

The men came to Amidou Ouattara’s house early in the morning.

“It was on the 13th of December. At 5:30 a.m. He was coming back from having done his morning prayer, and there were already two cars parked in front. A 4-by-4. And a Mercedes,” said relative Mouriba Ouattara. “They surrounded him and put him in the Mercedes. It was gray. No plates.’”

“We looked everywhere. I went to the morgue at Yopougon. To the one in Anyama. Treichville. We turned over all the bodies,” he said. “But we did not see his.”

The United Nations estimates that more than 100 people have disappeared and at least 296 have been killed, based on calls to a U.N. hot line from family members. They cannot investigate because Gbagbo ordered the U.N. to leave the country after it certified Ouattara’s victory.

The hot line also received reports of a mass grave containing between 60 to 80 bodies in the suburb of Ndottre. The U.N. twice tried to get to the site but was blocked by the army, and at one point military trucks chased the U.N. convoy at high speed. Witnesses later called to say they saw the bodies being moved to the morgue of Anyama, which the U.N. was not allowed to enter.

“The fact that we have been prevented twice from conducting a fact-finding mission in Ndottre and Anyama suggests that there may be some truth in the alleged existence of a mass grave in that area and/or deposit of 60 to 80 corpses at a mortuary in Anyama,” wrote the head of the U.N.’s human rights division in an internal report leaked to the AP.

The AP attempted multiple times to gain access to the principal morgues, only to be refused entry. On one attempt, the reporter was told she would need an ‘authorization letter,’ but nobody could say from whom.

Workers at the morgues who agreed to speak were visibly panicked and would only do so away from their place of work. They said the bodies are quickly deteriorating because they have not yet been embalmed, a procedure done after the autopsy. One morgue director said so many corpses are arriving that they have created a ‘salle de catastrophe,’ or catastrophe room, to hold the overflow.

At one funeral home, a man in plainclothes interrupted a reporter’s conversation with an employee to ask why she was there. He loitered until she left, appearing to confirm reports that the facilities are under government surveillance.

With hardly anybody allowed in and no bodies allowed out of the morgue, families are left to grieve however they can.

When the morgue took her husband’s body away, Madoussou kept his blood-splattered sneakers. Unable to wash her husband’s body, as is the custom before burial here, the widow washes and re-washes his shoes instead.

She has washed them so many times that they are as white as snow.

Annice

I was first introduced to the writing of Nawal El Saadawi,  Egyptian doctor and  feminist, as early as 1980 when I was in college and reading all the feminist literature I could get my hands on.

Nawal El Saadawi

After reading one of her first books, The Hidden Face of Eve, Women in the Arab World,  I was captivated by El Saadawi’s disturbing account of religious and political oppression of women in her country as well as in the region.  It was through her writing that I first learned about female circumcision of young girls.  Living in exile for decades, she finally returned to Egypt.  I was thrilled to read an interview with her published Feb. 11^th, in The Root.  We wish Dr. El Saadawi well on her journey for liberation in her homeland.

I know this is a blog about smart and beautiful women over 50, but I could not, in good conscience let this day pass without honoring Dr. Martin Luther King Junior.   And, in an odd way, it reminds me of how much I like writing for   us women over 50, because Dr. King (like so many other great people of our era) is etched in our memory, and I       don’t  have to explain a thing.  All of us come to this blog with similar reference points in life which means so much   between us does not have to be explained.

Every year, I make it a point to listen to MLK’s 17 minute I have a dream speech delivered on April 28, 1963 on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.  It’s hard to believe I’ve been listening to this speech for over 40 years, and every year when I hear it, I’m amazed at how relevant and prophetic Dr.King’s words remain, especially given the recent I have a dream tragedy in Tucson.  So, without having to say more to my fellow sisters, I hope you’ll to listen to MLK’s great speech before the day is over, and I encourage you to share it with your children, and grandchildren who might  need some explaining about what this great man stood for.

To quote MLK, “Let freedom ring. And when this happens, and when we allow freedom ring—when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children—black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics –  will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”

Jane

Dear Readers, 

A dear friend of mine–a wonderful, loving person with a family– lives in Ivory Coast, and I have been hearing first-hand from him about the terrible conditions that exist there for normal citizens, now that Laurent Gbagbo is refusing to recognize his defeat to Mr. Ouattara in the fair and open election that was held in November.  My friend’s latest correspondence to me included the following, chilling sentences:

We need urgently that our friends around the world step up pressure on Mr Laurent Gbagbo to leave office.
Folks are dying  every day. He has hired mercenaries and they are the ones who do most of the killings.
Thanks again and may the Lord help our country.

I have included below an excerpt from a recent AP article that describes the situation in Ivory Coast.  I hope our readers will read it and then call or write to their representatives and senators to urge them to use the power of the U.S. to put pressure on Mr. Gbagbo.  I have a sample letter that you can use, if needed.  And

The Rightful President Alassane Outtara, who won 54% of the Vote

you can easily google contact information for your senator or congressperson . 

People are dying.   Please help.

Jane

 Ghana president says ‘no’ to troops in Ivory Coast

(AP) – 2 hours ago

ACCRA, Ghana (AP) — The president of Ghana on Friday said his country is not able to send troops to oust the leader of Ivory Coast who is unwilling to cede office after losing presidential election in late November. 

The announcement could complicate a move by a regional bloc of 15 nations in West Africa to mount a military intervention in order to allow the internationally recognized winner of the election Alassane Ouattara to assume his functions. He and his staff are barricaded inside a hotel, his exits blocked by soldiers loyal to Gbagbo.

 ECOWAS, the Economic Community of West African States, has twice sent a delegation to try to persuade Gbagbo to step down.

 After the second attempt failed this week, the group began deliberating the military option. …  Ghanaian President John Atta Mills said he backs ECOWAS, but said his troops are already committed to other peace missions around the world — including in Ivory Coast. … The international community has been uncharacteristically united in their decision to not recognize Gbagbo because the results were carefully reviewed and certified by a special United Nations election unit. Ouattara is under 24-hour guard at the Golf Hotel ….Gbagbo came to office 10 years ago in another messy election and overstayed his legal mandate, which expired in 2005 just after the end of the nation’s brief civil war. The election was rescheduled at least six times before it was finally held in October. Results from the runoff held on November 28, which were released by the electoral commission and validated by the United Nations, showed that Ouattara had won with 54 percent of the vote.

The United States, the European Union, the African Union and the United Nations’ General Assembly have all recognized Ouattara as the legitimate president. It’s created a dichotomy where the man that is the president-elect in the eyes of the world has no control of the institutions of state inside the country he was elected to run. Gbagbo still occupies the presidential palace and in the past week, he has stepped up the blockade on the Golf Hotel where Ouattara is holed up to the point that now the only way in or out is via a United Nations helicopter. 

(Here is a picture of Gbagbo, the Man Who Would be King!)

 Ouattara has asked foreign governments to no longer recognize ambassadors appointed by Gbagbo. Several countries have asked the pro-Gbagbo ambassadors to leave, including Canada and Britain…On Thursday, the Gbagbo regime retaliated. A government spokesman said they have asked the British and Canadian ambassadors to leave Ivory Coast within 30 days….The demand comes on the heels of an earlier declaration asking the nearly 10,000-strong United Nations mission to leave. But the force will stay and may grow. On Wednesday, Alain Le Roy, the U.N.’s peacekeeping chief said he will formally request an additional 1,000 to 2,000 peacekeepers from the Security Council to beef up the force in Ivory Coast. 

The Gbagbo regime, however, has not asked the U.S. ambassador in Abidjan to leave, even though the Gbagbo-appointed diplomat in Washington was given his 30-day notice on Dec. 30, said an Obama administration official.

Associated Press correspondent Rukmini Callimachi in Abidjan, Ivory Coast 

Photo Courtesy of AP

I have a voicemail from Elizabeth Edwards saved on my home phone.  It joins five from my good friend Lolo.  I have room to get one long message or maybe two short ones before my mailbox is full, but I won’t delete any of those precious six.  I thought I was being punk’d when I first heard the message.  She identified herself and proceeded to recount how we had played softball together in the seventies and how I had come to her wedding–and even mentioned the present I had brought. I listened rather stunned by it all.  She ended by leaving her contact numbers and putting an old friend of mine, who was there with her, on the phone.  It was her voice and his voice, but, for the life of me, I had no memory of personally knowing her. Yes, I had played on a softball team, and, yes, I had a roommate who made handmade baskets, the gift I had brought.  But going to her wedding?  You’d think I would remember that.

I had actually had two close encounters with Elizabeth Edwards over the years.  We rode on the same plane to Atlanta probably ten years ago, and about four years ago, as my daughter and I were leaving a basketball game at the Dean Dome, I reached out to touch my daughter’s hair, and this woman walking behind me commented on how beautiful it was.  I turned and recognized her and stumbled through something about how glad I was to hear that she was doing so well. She thanked me, and we continued walking.

After hearing the voicemail, I waited a few days and then tried the numbers.  She had said that there was no voicemail at her house so if no one answered, I should try her cell phone.  When I did that, the message said her inbox was full.  We were preparing to leave on vacation, so I left with a thrilling curiosity nagging me.  Then came a day when I found myself alone at our cottage on Cape Cod, and I tried the home number again.  She answered and asked who was calling.  I identified myself, and the first thing she said was, “I bet you don’t remember me.”  I replied that she wasn’t supposed to ask me that right off the bat. (No pun intended.)  I didn’t remember, but she had too many facts right for it to be a mistake.  We talked on about her marriage; she talked about not going back to her maiden name because she wanted to be buried next to her son.  She talked about wanting to sell her house and her upcoming trip to Japan.  It was an easy conversation, and we left it that sometime in August she would get that old friend to arrange for all of us to get together.

It never happened.  Right after I got back from vacation, I discovered my husband was going down the same road that John Edwards had gone.  I was such a mess that I didn’t think it would be doing her any favor to hear about my pain, and it would have been impossible to disguise it.  I have no doubt that she would have been a great support, but I felt the energy around her should be positive.

So I’ve got the voicemail, and I treasure it–and if anybody has any of her wedding pictures that show the guests, please let me know.

Nancy in College

Nancy Now

Jane

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this,
and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

A friend of mine sent me this as part of her holiday greeting this year, and I love it.  It sums up how I’m feeling about things these days.  This has been such a stressful year for so many people, with the economy’s troubles hitting people directly in the pocketbook and on their nerves!  It has made it difficult at times to feel very optimistic (and I’m speaking on a personal level)—and even harder to take a minute to just breathe in and breathe out.  I feel that I’ve been running around this whole year, chasing my tail, figuring that if I just moved faster or worked harder, things would somehow turn out better!

Well, birds are soaring outside my window today.  And we are due to have snow on Christmas—a white Christmas for the first time in at least 15 years!  Our Congress just passed some major legislation to make our world a better place:  the Stark treaty to limit nuclear proliferation, medical coverage for 9/11 rescue workers, and getting rid (finally) of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”   Too bad they couldn’t find the nerve to pass the Dream Act!  More good news:  home sales are up for the first time; teen births and our national crime rate are down.

So, I want our readers to take a minute with me and remember to breathe in and out, especially during the holidays!   And while I’m at it, all of us at Oops50 want to thank all our readers, advertisers, and guest writers for their comments and support this year.  It’s been a good year for us:  our numbers of subscribers are up; we’re reaching a wider audience of women over 50 around the globe; and we got noticed by Oprah Winfrey!  Life is good!  And we owe it to all of you.  To those who read us and never commented or subscribed, we hope you’ll take that big step into cyberspace next year and do it. To those who happen upon us from time to time, welcome!  A big Thank You from all of us at Oops 50!  In case you don’t know it, we love you!

And here is to breathing in and out in 2011!!!

Jane

I’m feeling very sad today because Elizabeth Edwards is dead.  Even though we all knew she was going to die at some point, and even though the doctors recently said it could happen soon, it still was a shock to hear it out loud.  It’s just so plain sad. 

Elizabeth Edwards was the main reason I liked John Edwards when he ran for office—there was just something about his smile that I didn’t like—but she seemed intelligent, and strong.  The more I saw of him, the less I liked him–but the more I liked her.  My only real low point with her was when she allowed John to stay in the race after her cancer.  All I could think was that 1) he was a complete egotist and/or 2) she was either plain crazy or one of those political wives who denies her own needs in order to advance her charming husband’s career—a ala Hillary Clinton in her darker past or Cindy McCain in the last campaign. 

I do think Elizabeth was the real gifted politician in the family, but this sometimes took her temporarily down weird turns:  there was that brief moment, after all, when Elizabeth said she would be happy to share her family Christmas with John’s love child. That seemed a bit over the top in the saintliness department!  But, as John’s star declined further and further in the heavens, her star rose. 

Elizabeth became, for so many women, an inspiration and a role model.  She was a woman done wrong by her man who openly grew beyond it—showing that a lasting marriage requires, in the end, an equality of character. She separated from John and created her own life, perhaps even a fuller and happier life than she had had before (at least for the last few years, when John was doing his philandering). She continued her good work on behalf of health care reform and against poverty, and she refused to allow the allure of press coverage to distract her from her basic dignity.  They could hound her all they wanted for a juicy story:  she would not take the bait.  She enjoyed expanding her circle, which had been closed for so long, due the requirements of an openly political life. She reconnected with friends.  She even joined Facebook and MySpace!  

Her last message on Facebook was indicative of her spirit.  She expressed acceptance of her fate and gratitude, especially for all the people who supported her throughout her life.  Here’s the excerpt printed on the news:  “The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that. And yes, there are certainly times when we aren’t able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It’s called being human. But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful.”  

We will miss her.

Photo Courtesy of AP

Sadhvi

I just “Googled” the “US Constitution” and found out that women got the right to vote in 1920.  I didn’t know that!

Amendment 19 – Women’s Suffrage Ratified 8/18/1920. 

The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Jane

 Even though it’s 19 years too late, and even though it probably won’t make a bit of difference in the big scheme of things, it still makes me completely and thoroughly happy that attorney Lillian McEwan came forward to talk about what a scumbag Clarence Thomas was when he was her boyfriend—how he loved pornography and talked all the time about women’s breasts.  It’s especially gratifying, considering that Ginni Thomas, the poor fool who is married to him, recently sent a voicemail to Anita Hill, asking her to APOLOGIZE for all those mean, bad things she said about her husband all those years ago!  

 Lillian McEwan, photo from CNN, Larry King Live Show. 

I’m a woman over 50 who has been stewing over this for years.  And I have a feeling I’m not alone.  If you are like me, you probably watched the hearings (I was glued to my television)  and felt trampled on by the final decision.  You suffered with Anita Hill.  You could not believe that your country could allow a man like that to become a Supreme Court justice. You wanted Anita Hill to rise, shining from the hearings instead of put down.  You saw the awful underside of American politics that still didn’t offer an equal place to women at the table, and you wished you hadn’t seen it.  You wished that someone like Lillian McEwan would have stepped forward right then, right there, to corroborate Anita Hill’s courageous testimony. 

So, Lillian, even though it’s probably too late to do any good (except perhaps open up Ginni Thomas’ eyes a little more):  thank you!  Thank you for stepping forward and speaking the truth, despite your loyalty to this man who was your one-time boyfriend.  I’m sure you must feel better now.  And you have certainly made a lot of us feel better.  Even if it accomplishes nothing else, it gives a little kick in the gut to the man who pretends to be deserving of those robes he puts on every day. 

 The whole thing has made me wonder what provoked Ginni Thomas to send that voicemail message.  Some people say she was just trying to create a diversion from the focus that has come lately to her tea-party work against Obama administration policies.  But I’m wondering if it’s something more:  could it be there is trouble in paradise?  Could it be that she is starting to suspect some truth in Anita Hill’s statements, and she is desperately trying to hold onto her belief in this man that she has trusted all these years?  Something must have gotten under her skin to make her want to get just one more piece of validation—so she can keep smiling at his side, keep being a loyal wife.  I’d love to hear back from our readers on this.  She sounds to me like someone who is seeing a little bit of grey in her black-and-white Teaparty world, and it doesn’t sit well with her!  Isn’t it ironic that her voicemail—instead of provoking what she must have imagined would be a sobbing apology, brought only righteous indignation from Anita Hill and a whole new tsunami of doubt about Clarence.  Keep thinking, Ginni!    

In the meantime, thank you, Lillian!  

And God bless Anita Hill!

Please click below and see if you can help to stop this slaughter:

Sadhvi

I need to share this.  A good friend of mine sent it to me, and asked if I could post it.  I just got done watching this YouTube video and it gave me goosebumps.  That always happens to me when I hear the Truth.  Take a look, and see how it affects you.  It is time to end the war.  It is time to wake up!

Jane

Folks, please take a moment to forward the message below to your friends and family, and, after you forward the message, please help spread the word on Facebook and Twitter.

Dear friend,
Did you know that Washington is considering unfairly targeting Social Security benefits for cuts?  Social Security didn’t cause the budget deficit, so our retirement shouldn’t be put at risk to fix it!  I just signed AARP’s petition to protect Social Security and keep it strong for generations to come. Please click on the link below to join me – it will only take a minute.

http://action.aarp.org/site/Advocacy?pagename=homepage&id=779
 
Thanks for standing with me to keep Social Security strong.
Sincerely,
Jane

Content coming soon.