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Nice People Behaving Badly?

Sunday, December 18th, 2011

Annice

One of the newspapers delivered daily to my home is the WSJ. Oddly enough, I don’t read it for the Money and Investing section but the front page news. I also enjoy the marketing and technology trends, recipes, and the wonderful week-end section. And, I usually let the papers pile up and read a few at a time, making the news outdated. I don’t care, it’s always interesting in the present moment when I’m reading it. One article, last week, that raised an eyebrow had to do with baby boomers.

Securities regulators and prosecutors are battling what they say is a nationwide surge

in investment fraud against baby boomers. In many cases, the victims pursued risky bets to

overcome losses suffered during the

financial crisis—a trend that regulators say is worsening.

Wall Street Journal, December 14, 2011

I'm not home!

Now that’s scary. I always thought it was “old people” who got suckered into scams.

Is my generation that gullible?

Well, it seems some of us cared about our future and that makes us vulnerable. It also forces some otherwise good people to behave badly.

I got somewhat scammed myself recently. I hired someone I knew for a small remodeling job in my kitchen (cabinets and a concrete countertop). I paid her a deposit after I paid her in full for the finished cabinets. I’d like to mention she asked to be paid in full when the job wasn’t even complete, and I did. Then, she made samples for the countertop and after 8 – I could not approve one of them. Nothing popped out at me, and I got tired of not having a countertop for weeks on end and honestly didn’t think after 8 tries, she could produce a good one. So, I decided to go with granite – something she did not do.

I apologized for not liking the samples and asked for my deposit back. Well, this friendly remodeler basically told me to f—off. She claimed the samples cost money and she bought the materials (concrete) already and I had to pay for that. I went back to the contract which did not say I had to pay for samples or material in advance, or that the deposit was non-refundable. To end the dilemma, I offered to split the deposit with her – for her troubles – and she basically said to to f–off.

Judge Judy

I’m guessing if the remodeling business was booming, this contractor would give my deposit back, but in this economy she’s behaving badly. I informed her I was going to file a complaint in small claims court because I can’t afford to lose that deposit, but she doesn’t seem to care. Now I will let a judge decide our fate.

What would Judge Judy say? Is this a case of nice people behaving badly?

Tags: baby boomers, judgejudy, wallstreetjournal, women over 50, womenover50, womenwritersover50
Posted in Businesses, Financial Planning, Getting Older, Home, Home Repairs, Investments, Main, Money, Retirement | 4 Comments »

Co-Housing: On the Way to Wolf Creek Lodge

Sunday, October 23rd, 2011

Bob Miller

One of the things I love about blogging is the ability to meet people anywhere – anytime. When Sue Counts (guest blogger) wrote about co-housing a few weeks ago, we got tons of emails and comments from readers everywhere. One such person was Bob Miller, and the next thing I knew, I was inviting him to be a guest blogger – our first male blogger on Oops50! Thank you, Bob.

Annice

My wife and I became members of a co-housing community called Wolf Creek Lodge earlier this year. The lodge is currently under construction in Grass Valley, California. We expect to move in sometime late in 2012. We have chosen Wolf Creek Lodge as an appealing environment for our senior life style.

Future Wolf Creek Lodge

The conventional American living environment can be hostile to the senior species. They want community, walking access to stores, entertainment and recreation. They want low maintenance, sustainable housing.

Community is important to me and my wife. Earlier in our lives we found this at our workplace, through our children’s activities, our extended family, our church and sporting activities. We no longer go out to work and our children are living their own lives and our older family members have passed away.

We watched our parents become isolated in their later years. We believe we can do better by taking action now before change becomes challenging.

Who's Slowing Down?

At Wolf Creek Lodge we will have our own condominium-style apartment, one of 30. However, we will also use the common room, living room, patio and gardens. We will invite friends to stay in one of several guest apartments. We will stroll on the adjoining trails, walk to the nearby shops and enjoy the cultural activities of Grass Valley.

Community will be at our front door. Most evenings we will dine in the common room sharing cooking and clean up activities. We will join others over coffee and relax on the patio. We will continue to ski, bike and hike in the northern Sierra, which are only an hour away.

What a Ride

We realize that as the years pass we may become unable to drive and our physical capabilities may become more limited. The Wolf Creek Lodge environment will continue to work for us. The lodge even includes an apartment for a care-giver, should we need extra help.

Wolf Creek Lodge is a creation of its evolving community. The community worked with the architect on the design to oversee the construction and formulate the processes which will guide the members’ common activities.

Already, months before moving in, we are enjoying the community. We are in constant electronic communication with all the other members and attend the General Meeting in Grass Valley once a month. My wife has a key role on the landscape committee reviewing the planting plans and identifying members who want to work in the gardens. I help on the marketing and technical committees.

Under Construction

On the marketing committee I am working to find people to join us and fill the remaining 6 apartments. It’s fascinating to talk to potential members as they try to understand this co-housing concept. They pay us repeated visits to decide if they want to spend the rest of their lives with us. They finally take the decision and pitch in.

We do not really know what it will be like to live at Wolf Creek Lodge. We are working hard with our new friends to make it happen and having both fun and challenges along the way.

Bob Miller is currently a ski bum in Truckee, California. Born in England of an English mother and a Scottish father, he moved to Scotland at the age of 11. After graduating from Glasgow University with a degree in Physics he married Claire, started a family, and moved to the Boston area in 1978. Bob’s career was in the computer industry. Since his retirement, he moved with Claire to Truckee. Besides skiing, he rides his road bike and hikes in the Sierras.

Tags: aging, alternativehousingforboomers, baby boomers, cohousingforboomers, communal living for seniors, grassvalleycalif, wolfcreeklodge, womengettingolder
Posted in Aging, Alternative Health, Environment, Family, Friends, Home, Journey, Main, Other Voices, Retirement, Travel | 2 Comments »

Senior Cohousing for Baby Boomers!

Monday, September 26th, 2011

Sue Counts

My friend, Sue Counts, retired three years ago as the Director of the North Carolina Cooperative Extension in Watauga County after more than 40 years in government. During her tenure, Sue initiated educational programs in the areas of sustainable tourism, sustainable energy, Hispanic outreach, and women in agriculture. Sue says, “At this point in my life, I’m seeking a better life for the Baby Boomers who are entering that stage of their lives known as ‘the senior years’.” So, when Dene Peterson, the founder of ElderSpirit Community came to Boone a few weeks ago to talk about her life’s work, Sue was there attending meetings about the possibility of creating such a community in Watauga County, NC. She graciously shares important information on “Retirement Housing.”

IT’S OFFICIAL! We are now in the “ERA OF THE GOLDEN BOOMERS!”. On January 1, 2011 the very first Baby Boomer turned 65, and 10,000 boomers will turn 65 every day for the next 19 years. This gigantic generation has transformed America as they have passed through every stage of life…..and housing for the elderly will not be any exception.

It's Official

Co-housing communities if you will! These communities bring together the value of private homes with the benefits of more sustainable living. That means common facilities and good connections with neighbors. All in all, they stand as innovative answers to today’s environmental and social problems.

According to Charles Durrett, author of Senior Cohousing Handbook — 2nd Edition, A Community Approach to Independent Living, “No matter how rich life is in youth and middle age, the elder years can bring on increasing isolation and loneliness as social connections lessen, especially if friends and family members move away. Senior co-housing fills a niche for this demographic — the healthy, educated and proactive adults who want to live in a social and environmentally vibrant community. These seniors are already wanting to ward off the aging process, so they are unlikely to want to live in assisted housing. Senior co-housing revolves around custom-built neighborhoods organized by the seniors themselves in order to fit in with their real needs, wants, and aspirations for health, longevity and quality of life.”

Elderspirit Community

The ElderSpirit Community at Trailview in Abingdon, Virginia is the living example of a community of mutual support and late life spirituality. It is the first mixed-income, mixed ownership Elder Co-Housing Community in the United States and in this capacity it is making its way as it “walks the talk.” The founder of ElderSpirit Community is Geraldine “Dene” Peterson, a “spry” woman in her 80’s who recently received the “Lifetime Achievement Award” at the 2011 National Cohousing Conference in Washington, DC.

Dene Peterson

At eighteen, Dene Peterson left her parents and ten siblings to join a convent. She ultimately chose to leave the religious order, but her spirituality remained deeply rooted. In 1995, at age 65, she created the ElderSpirit Community in Abingdon, Virginia. Inspired by a Danish model, Peterson wanted to form a co-housing retirement community that would allow friends to live together in a collaborative and supportive setting while also offering some of the autonomy of private dwellings. Peterson also envisioned an alternative to institutional long-term care, a place where community members would have the emotional support of their peers as well as the necessary medical assistance to live out their lives at home. Using a creative patchwork of funding from public and private resources, Peterson raised $3.5 million, and her vision materialized. Construction of the 29 residences, common community building, and a prayer room was completed in late spring of 2006 and houses both the moderate and low-income. The model has gained national attention, and an ElderSpirit outreach extension program in now helping to plan similar communities in Florida, North Carolina, Ohio, Kansas, and Virginia.

The ElderSpirit Community is dedicated to making possible new opportunities for Elders in the 21st Century. The ElderSpirit Community values are: To live in a community of diverse spiritual paths; To give and receive support in relationship with neighbors in community; To belong to a community who make the decisions on how they will live together; and To encourage each other to live simply and care for the earth.

Tags: aging, aging gracefully, baby boomers, cohousingforboomers, elderspiritcohousing, elderspiritcommunity, Retirement, seniorcohousinghandbook, women over fifty, women's journeys, womenbabyboomers, writers over 50
Posted in Aging, Alternative Health, Books, Environment, Family, Friends, Health Tips, Home, Journey, Living, Main, Other Voices, Relationships, Retirement, Spirituality, The Environment | 7 Comments »

Financial Social Work: Interview with Reeta Wolfsohn

Wednesday, September 21st, 2011

Reeta Wolfsohn

Nationally known motivational speaker Reeta Wolfsohn, CMSW, is founder of the Financial Social Work discipline and a therapist, author and popular expert for magazines/websites, on money from a psycho-social perspective. Reeta’s work helps people take control of their money and lives.

The Center for Financial Social Work offers certification programs for social workers/non-social workers and a dynamic website with a Learning Center and forums that educate, motivate and support sustainable, long-term financial behavioral change. We recently interviewed Reeta about her work and her life:

1) Define financial social work, as you put it into practice.
Financial Social Work is designed to help people to begin the journey to sustainable, long-term financial behavioral change. It is an interactive, introspective approach which provides insight into how and why you are in your current financial circumstances and then connects you to where you want to be in the future. This process allows the creation and completion of a success plan and strategy which is the foundation for a better financial future.
2) Tell us a little bit about how you came to do the work you are doing.

I had my own special events company in NY for 18 years and then returned to graduate school to earn my master’s degree in social work. In graduate school, women’s issues was the topic of my master’s thesis and eventually led me to create the word “Femonomics” and the Femonomics Institute, in 1997. For me, the definition of the word “Femonomics” is “the gender of money” (based on the fact that women earn less, are traditionally charged more–for products and services–and because women live longer they make up 75% of the elderly living below the poverty line.) In 2003, the popularity of my work made it less gender-specific and much more geared to behavioral change, as it became obvious that: Until and Unless Behavior Changes – NOTHING Changes. That is when it became Financial Social Work and the Center for Financial Social Work. However, Femonomics holds a very special place in my heart and in my work.

3) What is the most gratifying part of your work?

The work I do fulfills me on every level. Having the opportunity to help people take control of their money and their lives and knowing how much that can improve every aspect of their future makes all of the time and work I put in worthwhile.

4) What is the greatest frustration?

In these very difficult economic times, there is an ever growing need for services but an ever diminishing availability. I am also frustrated at not being able to reach more people with the message that there is always HOPE; it is NEVER too late to improve your financial future.

5) How do you think this work has changed your own life?

My work is my passion and my mission in life. It doesn’t feel like work because it means so much to me. Except for spending time with my two-year-old twin grandchildren (Hannah & Robert), I am either writing, teaching, training, keynoting, etc., about the psychosocial aspects of money.

The Center has certified hundreds and hundreds of men and women across the US and in other countries to do Financial Social Work. Knowing that my work is helping our graduates to help their clients create personal awareness and growth as well as to increase their financial knowledge is an incredibly powerful feeling–which keeps me doing all I can to find new and better ways to help more people.

6) If you had to give women over 50 just 2 pieces of financial advice,
what would they be?

1. Make friends with your money and allow it to nurture you, rather than to control your happiness or sense of self.

2. Every small step you take in the direction of a better financial future moves you in the right direction, so allow your small steps to add up and to facilitate your journey to financial behavioral change.

Membership at http://www.financialsocialwork.com/ is FREE, and it delivers daily financial education, motivation and support e-mails to your inbox that can help you stay focused and enthusiastic about taking control of your money and your life. Like financialsocialwork on Facebook and follow Reeta on twitter@FinancialMSW.

Tags: amazing women over 50, change, financial planning, financial social work, mature women over 50, Reeta Wolfsohn, women over fifty, womenover50blogs, womenwhoblog
Posted in Beautiful Women >50, Financial Planning, Interviews, Money, Other Voices | 2 Comments »

I’m Addicted to My iPhone

Monday, July 11th, 2011

Minda

Our guest blogger this week is, Minda Brown Jaramillo, from Cleveland, Ohio. She recently moved back there after spending 10 years in the Southwest. She has been employed as a Licensed Independent Social Worker for the past 26 years and is currently managing programs for Women in Recovery. She enjoys reading, traveling, listening to music, and movies. She has been married for 15 years and has two dogs.

I think I’m addicted to my iPhone. After 2 Droids (the original and its upgrade), I was really tired of spending money on something I wasn’t satisfied with. I’m amazed by my iPhone’s speed, accuracy, and how the touch screen for texting is so right on. I also love the general easiness of its functionality.

Using my iPhone

How do I know I may be addicted? I am a licensed clinical social worker and work with addicts on a daily basis. In order to be diagnosed, there is a little book called the DSM IV Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders that provides clues as to whether you meet criteria for this. Although I don’t believe in labeling people, it does give one a good point of departure to work from. Here’s a sample of some of the questions the book asks regarding addiction: “A maladaptive pattern of use leading to significant impairment or distress manifested by three of the following in a 12 year period:

1. Have you gone through withdrawal? Wow…I don’t know yet because I’m never without my phone. I can only surmise that I would go through withdrawal or, at the very least, panic if I did not have it.

2. Have you build up a tolerance? Hmmm….well, I guess since a phone is nothing I can ingest orally or through injection to determine if I’ve built up a tolerance; I can determine that I use it more than I used to, not to mention others have told me the same thing.

3. Have I given up important activities or relationships that I would normally participate in or a failure to fulfill normal obligations? Well, I think I’m safe with this one. I wouldn’t stay home to be with my iPhone. I’d just take it with me.

4. Have I suffered any consequences, legal or otherwise due to using my phone? I don’t think so, although again, I am conscious to not text while driving. However, I will look to see if I’ve received any emails. I do have to be careful while in business meetings to not focus on my iPhone.

5. Is there a great amount of time spent trying to get to my phone? Well again, I’m really never without it.

6. Have I suffered a physical or psychological disturbance that is exacerbated by its use? No, I can honestly say I have not.

7. So the good news for me is (according to the DSM IV book) since I haven’t had my iPhone for a 12 month period, I’m in the clear – at least until the new iPhone comes out in September which is supposed to rival all other phones on the market.

Check with me a year from now and it may be an entirely different story.