FATIMAH'

I enjoy sharing women that are interesting and Fatimah’ is one of those women.  I recently met her to ask some questions in order for you to get to know her better.  She is so into music and has her own website where she is the DJ.  Finding out that we both listened to Matt the Cat and Kid Leo on WMMS, the home of the Buzzard, back in the glory days of rock in the 70′s was actually not a surprise…

What was the name of the first record you ever bought?

I remember it well…it was “Think”, by James Brown and The Famous Flames.  This song made me dance, and I love dancing.

Who was your favorite female singer while growing up?

It was “Esther Phillips”. Esther’s voice is sultry & unique.  Take a listen…

What is the one thing you have to put on that makes you feel good about leaving the house?

I have to say, it’s an essential oil called “Ylang Ylang” and I only use the one from the company, Young Living.  It makes me feel empowered, seductive, creative, and magnetic.

What is your favorite comfort food?

It’s either Ben & Jerry’s or Haagen Daz’s Butter Pecan ice cream, or, this Greek Honey Vanilla yogurt that I get at the health food store.

What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about being over 50?

If there was anything that is my least favorite thing about being over 50, I guess it would be that I don’t have the physical strength and tenacity that I used to have: I don’t last like I used to!  But my favorite things are I feel more conscious, more aware, and feel like I have wisdom.

What is your most favorite thing to do that is “creative”?

Dancing, singing, drumming, storytelling: I love them all!

Do you feel optimistic about the future?  And, what keeps you going?

Oh yes.  I do feel optimistic about the future!  And what keeps me going are the possibilities.  The unknown.  The trusting.  And the knowing.

What is part of your daily routine that makes you feel good?

I have a internet TV Station, “One Outrageous place on the Internet” ‘Shabazz 7777‘  WRNU Internet TV.

Check it out by clicking here: http://www.viewerone.com/channels/wrnu

I get such a good feeling and so much enjoyment while selecting the music or Informative Documentaries for each show, knowing that those good vibes are being passed along and shared; that is something that I love to do!  Tune in from 7pm – 7am every day to feel it!

JANE

I have a pair of new red shoes from a company that I want to highly recommend to our readers.  I didn’t think I’d ever write again about shoes, especially red ones, but I can’t help it.  I love my wonderful new shoes, “filled with millions of tiny air bubbles”  from a British company called Hotter Shoes.

They approached us at Oops50 recently and asked if we would like to try out a pair of their shoes, and of course I agreed to be a guinea pig—who wouldn’t want a new pair of shoes with the emphasis on comfort, right?  I was a little worried though, that I might be signing up for what our mothers would have called “comfortable shoes.”  You know the type: big, wide shoes with thick soles that come in either white or black.  Well, I went tho their site and was pleasantly surprised; the shoes looked good, but they actually look even better in person.

Jane's New Hotter Shoes!

These are not ugly, comfort shoes of the variety worn by old ladies with bunions.  These are stylish and comfortable shoes—to tell you the truth, I didn’t believe those two words could go together.  And even though the company’s name brought immediately to mind the movie, “Kinky Boots,” while there is nothing kinky going on, these are definitely hot shoes!

They come in all kinds of different designs.  And they are incredibly comfortable.  No aches and pains.  No sore toes.  And, they come in wide sizes without looking wide.  Check out their site, and if you order a pair, do let me know if you agree with me.  And if you have a moment or two, let me know what your most comfortable shoe is, Ok?

OH MORNING GLORY!

My husband’s iPhone flashed an alert last night while we were sitting on the front porch, cooling off from a hot work day, drinking a beer.  Some sort of App that he has that sends reports when they come in, no doubt.  That alert said that a chunk of the sun had spewed out into space, and that some of it was going to be hitting the earth and cause possible electromagnetic disturbances.  Maybe today.  And nothing more about when, where, or what that will mean.  I don’t have an iPhone, and I don’t watch Fox news or any TV, so I wouldn’t have known.  Hmmm, maybe it IS better to not know about everything, cuz I was wondering about that all day.

Even if I don’t want to know about “THE BIZARRE INTENSE NEWS OF THE MOMENT”, I keep hearing about it.  There’s something or someone telling you the latest thing that JUST happened, or is about to happen, that is kind of mind blowing.  I mean, really, an electromagnetic storm?  What does that mean???

So when I  stumble upon things that I find quite amazing, to keep the balance, I like to share them.

This week’s “finding the balance” share is Eric Whitacre‘s most amazing project with a virtual choir.

So do yourself a favor: click below and bliss out,

xxx

Sadhvi

SADHVI

I think that because life is so absurd these days, I am coming to a place inside myself where I feel at peace with it.  Funny, huh?  You too?

In spite of this, I can’t help but notice an occasional “odd thing” popping up on my radar every now and again.  Like how the media has just about dropped any news coverage of the nuclear meltdown(s) in Japan.  Like it never happened.  Oh I know, I mean really, why worry us, the masses, about something that is out of control, right?  It’s just that, oh, never mind…I will just not think about those kind of things.

Something funny that I saw and wanted to pass along…The Secret was a big thing a few years back, and there are people that I bump into who just “discovered” it and can’t believe how amazing it is today.

Like attracts like and it’s really as easy as that!  Just wish for a new car, or even a check in the mail for a million dollars, and it will appear.  I mean, it was all there in the book and you could even see people just like me and you who experienced it: OMG!  Many, many people spent money and made the people who came up with this incredible idea very rich.  Well, it’s no secret that the founders fought and sued each other over who would get all that money and no longer talk to each other.

Here’s a funny clip that made me laugh, from the Austrailain TV comedy satire show,  “The Chaser’s War on Everything” that makes fun of “The Secret”:

Whatever your space these days, I do hope you feel more optimistic than pessimistic, and remember…during these intense times, try to do what one of my favorite new illustrator’s, Katie Daisy, says to do:

PEGGY SANDS

Peggy Sands is not only a beautiful woman over 50, but she’s an artist that I like a lot.  And since I don’t like everything that I see these days that is called “art”, and I didn’t know that she did such beautiful paintings, I wanted to share her with you.

She paints murals.  She paints with colors that make me squeal. Go to her website and buy some of her paintings.  Or have her make a mural for your bedroom or living room.  The world needs more art and more artists like her.

WAITING FOR YOU IN MY GARDEN

Just for fun, I asked her to answer 5 questions recently, and here is what she said:

1. What was the name of the first record you ever bought?

Rubber Soul: THE BEATLES

THE BEATLES: RUBBER SOUL

2. What is the one thing you have to put on or have on that makes you feel good about leaving the house?  And, what is your favorite perfume?

It’s a bracelet I got for Christmas that makes me feel really special when I remember to wear it.  And Nina Ricci L’Air De Temps is my favorite perfume.

REMEMBERING TUSCANY I

ELAND PASSAGE

BOYNTON CANYON

3. What is your favorite comfort food?

Almonds and raisins maybe?  No, wait, I can’t do comfort food – I’m on the diet from hell to try to revive my adrenals and thyroid.

Oh, I know, oatmeal raisin cookies or Miso soup (Can you believe it? Miso? Comfort? So embarrassing!).

4. Have you found the perfect bra?

Yes! One from Victoria’s Secret, I got it years ago and I still like it a lot.

5. What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about being over 50?

I never ever think about it.  But, if I have to think about it, the least favorite I suppose is wrinkles and the body falling apart slowly but surely.  And the best is loving and accepting myself, and not beating myself up anymore, and becoming whole.

IRIS A MURAL

SADHVI

As a woman over 50, I’m amazed at the number of products and plans to help me stay slim, healthy and young.  As if I better do something now or else I will get old, ugly and fat!

I had the “Lifetime Achievement Award” from Weight Watcher’s before I graduated from high school.  I also knew about the state of ketosis, fasting, and complete protein shakes before I started college.

I remember going on a cleanse and becoming a vegetarian in 1978, and believe me, not only was it considered odd, but so was I.

I even had the perfect morning yoga routine down in 1980 when I was 22 years old that incorporated Pilates!  Funny enough though, the older I get the more relaxed I become and all the rituals, along with the “should’s” in my head are disappearing.  And I feel good.

Lately I’m meeting more older women who become instant friends, and after talking with them for a short while, I feel like there is some sort of magical transference of wisdom that makes me smile.

For instance, I met Helene at the Swiss Club that I belong to the other night.  I was hungry and there was this incredibly addicting spinach dip that was mostly sour cream and mayonnaise.

I looked over while dipping my umpteenth pita chip into the dip, and saw Helene doing the same a few feet away.  She looked over at me and we both just laughed.

Helene told me about growing up during WWII, in North Africa, and how they had no food for 2 months and were starving.  It was a very hard time in her life.

We talked about how there are so many people on some sort of prescription drug, and how so many of the commercials on TV are for drugs that make you fall asleep at night.  She laughed, saying she has never had much trouble falling asleep.  She told me that after she gets into bed, she goes back over her day and remembers three wonderful things that happened to her, and then drifts off into a peaceful slumber.  I told her I was going to have to remember to try that; it sounds like something that could become a nice little ritual.

Then I ask Andrea (who turns out to be 72 but looks my age: 52), who was sitting across from me what her secret to looking so fantastic is?   She told me that her only secret is that she never thinks about getting old.  I found this to be quite profound!  I thought she was going to tell us about her daily routine of juicing, meditating, yoga, chanting to the One, and fasting every seventh day because she looked so vibrant!

Instead Andrea simply said that we are all going to die, so why spend so much time preventing it?  She prefers to enjoy it!  She paints, drinks coffee and eats well, but is not fat.

So maybe instead of feeling guilty about anything and often having the thought that I can be better,  I will become more aware of those thoughts, and I will enjoy life, including the spinach dip moments, because they don’t come every day!

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
— Mae West

MAE WEST

Photograph by Michael & Patricia Fogden/Corbis

I was going to write to all of our women over 50 bloggers about the changes I want to make in 2011, and believe me, there are more than enough to fill a week’s worth of posts.  However, as I look back at 2010, what strikes me most (besides the most obvious news stories) is that 2010 was the year of the vampire. It was everywhere.  Why are people so fascinated with vampires?  Not me, I’m all about getting rid of all the life sucking forces around me, and not only in 2011 but  “Ad infinitum et ultra!”

In 2010 I felt bombarded with vampire stuff everywhere around me.  Bookstores, movies, television, recipes, and even phone apps.  Even our beloved Jane Eyre has been reduced to a spin-off:  Jane Slayre by Charlotte Bronte and Sherri Browning Erwin.  

This volume takes Brontë’s classic and turns the Reed family into vampires, and Jane Eyre’s classmates into zombies.

Vampire Cupcake

If you were reading this vampire classic late into the night, were you sipping on your Vampire Blood Drink recipe courtesy of Michael Chiarello from the food network?  Maybe you preferred to veg out in front of the T.V. this past year.  If so, did you indulge in a vampire cupcake from Baking Bites? And, while you were devouring the last of your vampire cupcake crumbs, I know you enjoyed the all-American supernatural series, The Vampire Diaries.  Or, did you prefer the big screen?  Were you one of the millions that saw, Eclipse, voted the best vampire movie of 2010?  Have you had enough of The Twilight Saga films based on the books by author Stephanie Meyer which have been translated in 38 different languages?  A footnote here, the series grossed over $1.7 billion.  

Smashed from your vampire drink, you might’ve cruised the web for Bite This!  A Vampire Books blog for everything you ever wanted to know about vampires but were afraid to ask, including Vampire Apps for your iPhone like Choice of the Vampire: a text-based game where the user can begin her two-hundred year journey as a vampire in New Orleans circa 1815 for only $1.99.        

When you’re bored with that, I invite you to the fine sounds of vampire music videos (I’ll spare you).

Needing a laugh?  Try a few vampire jokes.  You can use them on your trick-or-treater’s or save them for your grandchildren on Halloween.

Like this one:  How do vampires get around on Halloween night?  By blood vessels.

So, move over David Letterman, oops50.com presents:

Top Ten Signs You’re Ridding your Life of Vampires

1. You get a big anti-vampire tattoo on your neck
2. You breathe in fire every morning after meditation
3. You drink a Martini with extra olives every Saturday night
4. You scrape the dishes religiously every night before loading the dishwasher
5. You start reading the old testament from the last page to the first
6. You never  step in dog poop
7. You never keep empty change in your pocket
8. You brush your teeth with garlic paste, mix a little anchovy paste in there for extra precaution
9. You play Tiptoe Through the Tulips  by Tiny Tim while you’re drinking that Martini with extra olives
10. You post these on Facebook

The Biltmore Inn

You all have been introduced to my dear friend Adele Rose, and on Nov. 24^th she turned 88.  I say that’s a cause for celebration in grandiose style.  Joined by our favorite yoga teacher and friend, Cindy Dollar from One Center Yoga, the three of us arrived promptly for tea at 4:00 p.m.

In the Library at the Inn

Seated in the Library of the Inn surrounded by magnificent views of the mountains, Amanda, our server, emerged to place white linen napkins on our lap – or a black linen napkin in my case  so I wouldn’t get white lint on my trousers – oh so civilized.  Then, our new BFF, Amanda, opened a wooden tea chest displaying samples of loose tea which we sniffed so that we could make the most important decision of the day, choosing the perfect tea.

Cindy and Adelle enjoying High Tea

Me, I was seduced by the Mayan Chocolate Truffle herbal tea, described as a place, “where chocolate chips mingle with chunks of chili and red pepper, and bits of apple and strawberry in this stimulating herbal infusion with a sweet finish.”  

This artisan tea from the Mighty Leaf Tea Company has turned me into a loyal customer, and as soon as I returned home I went online to see if I could order it.  Sure enough, I could order not only loose tea but silky tea  pouches (not bags) that are stitched with 100% unbleached cotton.  I see many boxes of Mayan Chocolate Truffle tea in my future!

Once we decided on our tea, we were served traditional English finger sandwiches, followed by petit fours consisting of  scones, lemon cranberry bread, tea pastries, and let’s not forget the lemon curd, strawberry jam,  and Devonshire cream so vital to our scones, and oh so civilized!

So, like Anna, the 7th Duchess of Bedford who is often credited as having invented the tradition of afternoon tea in the early 1840′s, we spent several hours sipping tea, dining on petits fours, and enjoying the magnificent view.  In honor of the Duchess who was keen on proper tea etiquette, we managed not to spill anything on the table cloth or ourselves.

Oh so civilized!

According to the Duchess,  to avoid spilling the hot liquid onto oneself, one must hold the tea cup with one’s fingers to the front and back of the handle with the pinkie held up to allow balance.  By the way, pinkie up does not mean straight up in the air, but slightly tilted.  And by all means, never loop your fingers through the handle, nor grasp the vessel bowl with the palm of your hand.  Should you be inclined to forget you manners, let me remind you, do not stir your tea with your tea spoon in sweeping circular motions.  Place your tea spoon at the six o’clock position and softly fold the liquid towards the twelve o’clock position two or three times.  And, never never leave your tea spoon in your tea cup.  It belongs on the right side of the tea saucer.  And of course, never wave or hold your tea cup in the air!  When not in use, place the tea cup back in the tea saucer, unless you are at a buffet tea, then, be sure to hold the tea saucer in your lap with your left hand and hold the tea cup in your right hand.  When not in use, place the tea cup back in the tea saucer and hold in your lap.  The only time a saucer is raised together with the teacup is when one is at a standing reception.  Ok, did you get all that?

Frankly, during tea, we didn’t think twice about the Duchess and her rules of proper tea etiquette, not even for a second, and to be sure, we had a hell of a good time.  I think Henry James said it best, “There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea.  ~ The Portrait of a Lady

Annice

How far you would drive for a great AFFORDABLE haircut?  Would you drive 2.5 hours?  I confess, I did exactly that.  Included in that haircut was color to banish the gray, a few caramel-colored highlights that my sister says is needed to lighten up the face, and since I had to wait for the color anyway, I went ahead and had my eyebrows waxed.  So there, I drove 2.5 hours up and over the mountains (round-trip) from Asheville, NC to Unicoi, TN for a day of high maintenance.  On the way, I picked up my friend Betty in Marshall where we had breakfast  at Zuma’s before heading out to the Dragonfly Salon.

Me, Betty and Zuma's

“Why do it?, my husband asks.  “You’re crazy.  You mean to tell me there is not one hairdresser in all of Asheville who can cut your hair?”  Of course there is, but I don’t feel like paying two hundred dollars every time I need a cut and color.  You see, I was spoiled by Mari, who is not only a great haircutter and colorist, but does it very affordably.

The Infamous Dragonfly Salon in Unicoi, TN

Me and Mari - the process begins

When Mari first moved to Tennessee I told myself I would never drive to another state for a haircut.  That was before I spent two years in search of the perfect hairdresser, stopping women everywhere asking them who cut their hair and how much they paid.  I had no shame.  I want to tell you, no one has ever accused me of being cheap.   I completely support stylists getting as much as they can for their haircuts.  It’s just that I can’t pay those big city prices, and let’s not forget that the economy tanked and without any cost of living increase over the last three years, my salary has been going down instead of up.  And yes, I’m happy to have a job – no whining here.

So, after considerable introspection, I embarked on the Big C (the big compromise).  I opted to go local and accept a mediocre haircut and color at half the price.  That lasted for two years until my mediocre stylist turned what was supposed to be brown hair (with caramel highlights) totally blond.  I screamed.  I had no one to blame but myself.  Why did I tell her to leave her lazy husband who hadn’t worked for two years and forced her to pay the mortgage, the loan for his houseboat, and his kid’s vacation at Disneyland?   No doubt, my blond hair was  punishment for giving out free advice when not asked!

So that’s how I ended up driving 2.5 hours to Tennessee with my good friend Betty,  only to return to North Carolina at 4:00 in the afternoon, nicely coiffed and colored.  And in case you’re wondering why I  just don’t go gray, let me tell you, if the economy gets any worse, I will have to because I won’t be able to afford the gas.

Annice and Betty looking good!

Sadhvi

Being a woman over 50, I thought I might want to write something about Menopause every now and again.  It isn’t taboo, but I think that for me it’s just been so intense that I don’t know what to say.

Really.  I mean, who wants to hear someone write about how they don’t know who they are anymore?   Besides, I have a funny feeling that dealing with this Change is kind of like trying to find the “perfect  bra”, having the “perfect job”, or communicating clearly with my husband: there really isn’t an answer, it’s just a mystery and a challenge to be lived on a daily basis!

Not only is there the pressure to look good these days, to be thin enough not to be considered “fat”, to not be negative, but rather positive, to be politically and socially correct, to work out or do some sort of Yoga or Pilates to stay in shape as I get older, but every morning there’s the challenge of facial hair.

Susun Weed

I have a book, “New Menopausal Years, The Wise Woman Way: Alternative Approaches for Women 30-90″  that I opened from my bookshelf to see what herbalist and Wise Woman Susun Weed had to say about it: you can just click HERE to go to that information online. 

If you find the time, you should go to one of Susun’s events, and most definitely, buy any of  her books.

In a nutshell, I can tell you that it’s not going to go away and I will have to keep up with the daily maintenance of it, well, for the rest of my life.  And for everyone’s sake I really hope I don’t forget.

My mother, who is still alive, has not really spoken much about her Menopausal years to me…maybe the whole topic was as mystifying to her as it is to me now.  Mom?

In the past couple of years I have had all the symptoms associated with this Change and I am thankful that they didn’t all happen on the same day, because then I wouldn’t be writing to you via this blog post, but rather from a prison cell somewhere in Missouri.

When it gets brought up with girlfriends, there is always someone who didn’t have ANY symptoms, who is having wild sex all the time with her husband or new, younger lover, or someone who just started taking some hormones from horse urine and swears it makes her look 20 years younger.  Then there are my girlfriends who are in their 60′s who tell me that their menopausal symptoms have never gone away.  So there ya go!  It’s like I said before, it’s all a mystery.

Maybe it just comes down to accepting this new me as I get older, just as it always been throughout my life of being OK and enjoying what is, no matter what age. 

Amen, and seriously now, may you have a good night’s sleep and awake with no facial hair in the morning!

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

(Reinhold Niebuhr: American theologian 1892-1971)

Rize Cole on her birthday getting a ride w/Harley Davidson instructor Susan Harrison.

Staying in my Lane

I often hear the words “Be you for you.” 

 I chose to internalize this by taking full responsibility.  

I WILL BE ME FOR ME.

We are constantly focusing on the exterior, “what will they think and what will they say?”.   What matters to me is what I think and what I say.  What I am thinking is a powerful clue as to what is in my consciousness .  When we are looking at the exterior, are we neglecting the interior and what is resonating within?

As an elder, I have come to the realization that this is my journey and I can take the fast or scenic route, whichever suits me.

Being an elder can be awesome if you are mentally, physically and spiritually healthy.  For some of us, it is the first time we can stand in our truth, think of self first and be impeccable.  I am aware many elders are still stuck in the past, living with regrets and should have’s, but for most of us it is a joyful time to do our own thing.  I have no concerns about the opinions of others.  What am I supposed to do with what someone thinks of me?  I can observe…they are thinking, but they are in my lane and need to get back in their lane and MTOB (mind their own business).

I may also choose to have fun with them. One of my favorite ways to walk in the world is by tooting my horn when someone makes a decision to get into my lane.  This may look like a tilt of my head and a gentle smile, or I may change lanes by changing the subject.  If they are bold or rude enough to follow me into my new lane, I might let them have it with both barrels, which may sound like a giant laugh and a hug or I may just say something like, “ Oh… listen to that beautiful bird singing” or “Oh… I do love your hat” and continue talking about my love of hats, birds or whatever until they get back into their lane or forget what they had asked me in the first place.

Results: My blood pressure is ok and their feelings are intact.

77 year old poet Rize Cole currently lives in West Columbia, South Carolina.

Rize enjoys traveling, reading, cooking and whatever makes her happy!

You can contact her at mizrize77@yahoo.com

Annice

When Charlie Rose interviews someone, I watch and listen.  I guess that makes me a Charlie Rose groupie (I rely on Tivo to get my fill).  So, when he interviews Joan Rivers about the documentary, “A Piece of Work,” I go see it.  The film, by Ricki Stern and Annie Sundberg, spans the 40 year career of Ms. Rivers.  At 77 (she’s actually 75 in the film), we see a tough broad who is not afraid to bare all.  In fact, she thrives on it, needs it, like an addict.
Watch this great trailer:

I’m not exactly sure when I stopped liking Joan Rivers, but I’m guessing it was back in the late 80s with everyone else.  Falling from grace due to a series of professional and personal blows such as being blacklisted by Johnny Carson/NBC, and the 1987 suicide of her husband/manager, she struggled to find work in her beloved show biz.

The Young Joan Rivers

Circumstances and age seemed to have turned Ms. Rivers into a comic whose jokes seemed more like cruel jabs aimed to hurt the likes of  Liz Taylor and her battle with weight.  I find it very ironic for Joan to be hassling Liz when she was perpetually under the knife of her plastic surgeon re-figuring her face, and who knows what else.  I know it’s none of my business how many face lifts this Grande Dame of comedy endures but frankly, I think her face lifts turned me off when she started to look like a caricature of herself standing in Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum.

Now, here’s the big BUT – after seeing this film, and her journey back to glitz and glamour, I actually like Joan Rivers again!  She’s one smart woman who climbed her way back to legendary status selling her jewelry on QVC, and her red carpet attacks (with her daughter) on celebrity T.V.  And don’t forget her latest gig on Donald Trump’s reality show “The Celebrity Apprentice.”  No, I didn’t watch it but I was not surprised to learn that Ms. Rivers won the competition, which by the way, meant she had to beat out her own daughter, also on the show.  Needless to say, the mother and daughter relationship is strained.  Nothing new here abut mothers and daughters.

The many faces of the Queen of Comedy

In spite of her obsession to be a star and stay on top of her game, I couldn’t help but admire Joan Rivers.  Like I said before, she is one tough broad, and she’s not afraid to fight tooth and nail to keep her dream alive.  Aging gracefully?  Not her.  Aging any way she can is more like it.

Annice

Read The Wall Street Journal.  I’m not kidding.  I found the most fascinating article on bras there.  Don’t know how many of you beautiful women over 50 read the WSJ, but I get it daily, and Christina Binkley’s May 13^th article, “Bra Building: New Engineering for Bigger Curves”  is a gem.  Why would the WSJ feature almost a whole page on bras?  Well, bras are big business–and getting bigger.  It seems that bra sizes have gone up in the last decade, and D or DD sizes are not uncommon.  In fact, manufacturers have been cranking up cup sizes to KK.   

The article says baby boomers need a lift to support their sagging breasts–thus the need for the “engineered” bra.  But I, for one, have been observing the young girls with bovine breasts who feel the need to bare beaucoup cleavage instead of hooking up a little more engineering than their mothers or grandmothers.  I’m convinced it’s all the hormones in their burgers and chicken nuggets, not to mention the milk they drink that’s injected with rBGH to speed up production.  

But never mind them, it’s all about me, and I’ve been looking for that perfect bra where the underwire doesn’t gouge my chest after two hours and doesn’t cost a week’s earnings.  And bras aren’t cheap.  It seems a good bra can cost up to $100.  And why is that, you might ask?  Because, what do you know, good bras have over 24 working parts, and all that engineering costs money!  So if you have good information on a great bra at a great price, please come forward and share that information with us women over 50. 

In the meantime, visit the WSJ video, where the journalist interviews a bra maker and seller – there’s a 12-second ad you’ll have to sit through first, but it’s worth it.   And here’s the link for the article:http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703339304575240382280390218.html

Sadhvi

I went to visit my friend Judi last week.  After a hello and a hug, she started to tell me about this pair of shoes that she just bought.  The way she was acting, it was as if she had fallen in love with someone.  Great I said.  After years of seeing cute shoes that only go up to size 10 or 11 and that I will never be able to wear because I am a size 11.5 – 12, I no longer feel any jealousy.   Judi kept going on and on about these shoes that she just had to show me.  Hmmm, I was having a litte deja-vu experience.  Her excitement was the same as what Jane had when she wrote about falling in love with a pair of red Jambu shoes.  It turns out that Judi’s shoes were the exact same ones!  I must admit, my breath quickened a bit when I held these shoes in my own two hands.  They had flowers embedded in lucite in the arch and they looked so good.!

Jane and Judi's Jambu Red Shoes!

Judi’s friend was there, and said she had just walked 14 miles in San Fransciso in hers, another model, the Jambu Planet  and couldn’t believe how comfortable they were. 

Judi's friend's Jambu Planet Shoes

I started to walk out of the room slowly, which is my way of leaving a situation that I find uncomfortable.  Judi said that I could get them in a men’s style…surely.  Well, after googling them online, it turns out that they do not.  

I guess I will always long to have a pair of beautiful comfortable shoes.  So please, check these shoes out on my behalf.  Really, go ahead.  Get a pair and feel like you are in love.  It will make me happy that you are happy with your cool and very comfortable shoes!

Content coming soon.

Months went by.  I watched them from a distance, but I knew they could never be mine.  I was content.

Then, in a horrible, depressing stroke of fate, Patricia left our office to take a new job elsewhere.  I was devestated.  I missed her wonderful presence.   And, I missed  her shoes!  Weeks went by, and I resigned myself to my new, empty life.  Then, the weekend came when my husband suggested I reward myself for losing so much weight by buying a new pair of shoes.  We went to the store, and I tried on pair after pair after pair.  Then, the sales lady said the fateful words:  “I think I have the perfect pair for you,” and brought out the red shoes, in size 10 or 11–I could try both!  And, unlike every other shoe that looks great in miniature but turns into a gun boat in my size, they looked great.  And they made my feet look smaller!  I was in love, truly in love, with a pair of shoes, for the first time in my life. 

I have to say:  I’ve never understood, until now, my women friends (and some men) who love shoes and notice each other’s shoes and talk about shoes.  I didn’t get it.  But that was then, when I was a shoe virgin!  Here they are, from both angles. 

Take a look and see if you don’t agree that they are the most magnificent shoes you’ve ever seen.  Best of all, they feel good on your feet.  All this and heaven, too! 

And, best of all, Patricia forgives me when we wear them to the same event, which happens occasionally–although she does get a certain look in her eye.  I can almost hear her saying the words:  “You little slut shoe stealer!”

I’ve always been partial to shoes that strongly resemble the shape of the human foot.  Men’s shoes have traditionally come closer in this regard than women’s.  In our particular cultural cul-de-sac, women’s shoes are often not considered stylish if they conform to the shape of the foot.  Thus, many stylish shoes look as if they have been designed for alien appendages.  Research now demonstrates that feet become shaped like the shoes that hold them.

I consider myself fortunate.  My mom scrimped on other things to shod her daughters in sturdy, sensible Buster Browns.  Some of the first shoes I remember buying for myself were Earth Shoes – sensible, sensual shoes I would argue – that I continue to purchase and wear some 4 decades later!  I also consider myself fortunate that my choice of career path (non-corporate) and lifestyle (relaxed rural) freed me from the panty-hose and heels ordeal that many of my friends had to endure.  A third lucky stroke, my birth year, ensured that I would have many more choices in shoe styles other than the much maligned “comfortable shoes”  or the 7″ stilettos-on-steroids of previous generations.

With one exception – the full-on gala – I now have what I call sensible, sensual shoes for every occasion.  I define these sensible, sensual shoes as footwear that bears close resemblance to my bare feet and is also pleasing to my senses.  They feel good, look good (to me especially), sound good in motion and smell good!  Sensible, sensual shoes also perform whatever service I require of them – support for walking or working, insulation from the elements, protection for the 26 bones, 33 joints and 100 muscles, tendons and ligaments that make up the foot.  I can work, walk and relax in the same pair of shoes.  I don’t have to change into a different pair for every different activity.  I think the primary appeal of my shoes should be to me, the wearer.  Looking good (sexy?) to others is icing on the cake.  Shoes that merely look sexy should be relegated to fantasy play.  I disagree with the late Marilyn Monroe who reportedly said, “I don’t know who invented the high heel, but all women owe him a lot.”

So what shape are your bare feet now after a few decades of footwear?  And do any of you have a suggestion for sensible, sensual shoes appropriate for a gala?

I’m writing to ask you if you happen to know of the laws for burying dead husbands in Wyoming.  Not that my husband will be dying any time soon.  I’m just wondering.  Is it legal to bury him in the backyard of our ranch, without a tombstone?  I don’t want to attract any unnecessary attention (he’s really a shy kind of guy), and I certainly don’t want to get in trouble with the law, if you know what I mean.

Wondering in Wyoming

Dear Wondering,

I’m with you, girlfriend. I only have three words for you:  Location, Location, Location. You want to make sure that you bury him upstream from your local water source and far enough away from any main road.  And a good time for this activity might be the middle of the night.  I heard shovels are on special at Home Depot this month, but, please, whatever happens, you didn’t hear this from me.

Dear Johanna,

How many pairs–and what type–of black pants should a stylish woman of a certain age  have in her closet?  I have 10 pairs, in sizes ranging from 12 to 22, and some still have the tags on them!

Stylish in Syracuse

Dear Stylish,

My friend, Helga, says any well-dressed woman over fifty should have at least 2 pairs of black pants for every day of the week, just in case she laughs a lot.  As for the style, I always prefer elastic waistbands to allow for frequent changes in my BMI index.  However, I do keep a few inspirational side-zipped Ann Taylor black pants for those occasions when I’ve spent a rare month drinking protein shakes 5 times a day.

Dear Johanna,

I’m so embarassed about my memory now.  How do I explain to my best friend of 30 years that I forgot her husband’s name when I was giving the toast at their 25th wedding anniversary at the house of their oldest daughter (whose name escapes me at the moment)?

Forgetful in Florida

Dear Forgetful,

Sorry.  What was your question?