• Malaprop's Bookstore/Cafe
  • Shoji Retreats
  • Tags
  • Categories
  •  

    Archive for the ‘Living’ Category


    Are You Discontent? A Transition May Be Imminent!

    Tuesday, May 14th, 2013

    Barbara Brady

    Barbara Brady is a Life Transitions Coach whom Annice and I met at a recent conference. She helps clients merge the logical, rational, left brain with their intuitive, creative, right brain resulting in more satisfying choices through the combined wisdom of head and heart, and she works with a lot of women over fifty! 

    We asked her to write a series of articles for the blog on dealing with different types of transitions.  Here’s her first!  I hope that, if you like it, you will add a comment to let her know!   Jane

    You feel a vague irritability.  Small things that normally don’t bother you, now do.  You may find yourself hypersensitive to what people say.  Your comments may be tinged with sarcasm or cynicism.  You may compare yourself to others, envying their work, creative expression, or happy relationship. You may notice your energy is lower than usual, and things that used to excite you, don’t as much.  You may feel restless or distracted:

    “It’s getting to the point where I am no fun anymore, I am sorry.” –“Judy Blue Eyes,” Crosby Stills Nash & Young

    Discontent has been defined as: “a longing for something better than the present situation” and “showing or experiencing dissatisfaction or restless longing” (www.cogsci.princeton.edu/cgi-bin/webwn).  The good news is: discontent is often a warning sign that change is coming, that a transition is imminent.  It’s a wake-up call from the spirit, saying, “Hel-looooo!  What are we doing here? (In this relationship, job, situation, etc).  Something needs to change!”  It’s a message that something in your life isn’t working.  

    .

    This discontent that is tugging at your sleeve needs to be thanked and attended to.  It’s a sign that you’re on a trajectory that you don’t want to stay on indefinitely.  To be in charge of your life – e.g. at cause, vs. at effect, you need to really make discontent your friend and see what it’s trying to tell you.  When you really pay attention and “get it”, you can then proactively make the choice for a transition that will move you forward in the direction you want, in the way you want, with grace.

    Discontent is a Blessing

    Let’s face it:  without discontent, do you think Columbus would have sailed the ocean blue?

    Discontent has been the catalyst that’s spurred me on to take risks, despite my fears, including making geographic and career moves that have enriched my life immeasurably.  It’s forced me to question and adjust my thinking and level of acceptance and gratitude, especially in relationships.

    Contentment is wonderful, BUT it can imply complacency.  Where would the world be if the following people had been complacent: Moses, Jesus, Joan of Arc, Abe Lincoln, Helen Keller, Rosa Parks, Einstein, Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, etc. etc?

    Five Steps to Transforming Discontent

    1.    Learn From the Past – What did you do in the past when you’ve felt discontented? What worked and what didn’t work? If you could do it over again, what would you have done differently? (more…)

    For Pity’s Sake, Relax!

    Wednesday, May 8th, 2013

    Jane

    Excuse me if I rant, but I have been thinking a lot lately about how fast my life is moving–and how fast the lives of all my friends are moving–and about how little relaxation time there is in my life–or in theirs.  And here is what I’ve concluded: Americans are crazy, and we are in love with work.  We work and work and work, and we never slow down.  Even when we relax, we’re working.  Take a look at your local YMCA and just watch the testosterone-driven people frantically getting their hour-long daily work-outs completed–and see if you agree with me.

    We keep going and we keep going!

    I really think that other countries have it way over on us.  At least, they have rituals that write relaxation into the story of their daily lives.  Germans take breaks and go to the local coffee shop and sit and eat a piece of cake with whipped cream (Schlag) on it.  People in India take long breaks in the afternoon to sleep off the heat.  English people have their tea breaks.  What do we have? :  the frantic rush to Starbucks to grab a fancy coffee drink that we don’t even have time to drink before we go to work and work, work, work all day, staying afterwards half the time to finish up some project that has kept us glued to our computer all day, needing coffee to stay awake.

    And what about those other rituals that countries have for keeping things in balance on a bigger scale?  Europeans go on vacation for long, leisurely weeks. (Americans take maybe their designated two weeks, at the most–and there have been studies that show that many people don’t even take their allotted vacation time.)   Scandinavian countries have systemized, months-long maternity and paternity leaves.  Our system usually forces us to get right back into work, as soon as possible.

    What is wrong with us?

    I often reflect how I wish Americans were more thoughtful and introspective about the direction their lives are taking–especially our politicians and leaders–but how can I expect that of anyone, when no one has time to sit and reflect on anything?  There is the subway to catch, the lunch to pack, the kid to pick up from school, the dinner to fix, the soccer game to attend.  And, on and on and on, like little robots on a giant treadmill that keeps showing us the same scenery, over and over.

    Keep going and going and going!

     

     

    Sadhvi Sez: Being in Love with Nature

    Monday, April 22nd, 2013

    SADHVI

    I don’t know what is going on lately, but the more I try to keep up with what’s going on in the world, the more I find myself going inside.  It’s not that I don’t care about people and things that are newsworthy, it’s just that I think I’m at the point of screaming, “Uncle!”

    Thankfully, Spring has arrived here.  Interestingly enough, the plant growth rate seems to be very rapid this year.  I mean, the mint just started to come up a week or so ago, and now it’s a foot high where I haven’t pinched any off for the rabbits.  Everything seems to be growing so quickly.  The cilantro that overwintered is bolting; the nettle is almost 3 feet high; the rhubarb is flowering already.  Hmmm.

    While taking my evening walk with my dog tonight, I was aware that today is “Earth Day”.  I looked around at the green growth that was everywhere, and I felt so much joy.  Even though it was a busy day with work, I knew that this is the last week to plant poppy seeds, and I had saved some bachelor buttons from last year, the blue ones, and those needed to get in the ground.  Then I have to move a couple of rose plants that are spaced a bit too close together, and…then I smelled something that made me smile:  plum blossoms!  It’s such a unique smell that reminds me of the way my grandmother, Mabel Carter, who is long dead, used to smell.  Then I needed to get some compost and when I rounded the corner, I smelled the sweet shrub that had opened drifting in the air, just like a ripe melon!

    MY OLD SWISS GNOME

    SPRING APPLE MINT

    So yes, the world will go on getting more and more insane.  That’s fine.  I am drawing a line in the ground: I am going to start to feed Sadhvi what she likes.  It’s time.  Funny when I opened the mailbox and saw that my TIME magazine subscription was about to run out, you know what, I tore it in half and threw it in the trash on my way to feed and water the chickens.

     

    “When the world wearies and society ceases to satisfy, there is always the garden.” 
    Minnie Aumonier


    PIE CHERRY BLOSSOMS

    SPRING CHICKENS

    Sadhvi Sez: The Everlasting Joy of the Poppy

    Friday, March 29th, 2013

    SADHVI

    After all the changes in the weather over the last month, I can see signs of spring all over and there is no turning back now – well actually, our last frost date is the middle of May, so I’m thinking there will be some cold yet to come…but, the momentum has started!

    We’ve dug up and moved the Firethorn over there, and are planting new roses here, and trimming back the raspberries, and the gooseberries, and the butterfly bushes, and cleaning up the yard, as if we too are waking up from the winter like the plants.

    I have some poppy seeds and now is the last chance for me and you to plant them in order for them to bloom this year.

    "POPPY'S IN MY GARDEN"

    With all the stuff that seems to be going in the wrong direction (i.e. that Monsanto/GMO rider that got signed by President Obama this past Tuesday (that the media has yet to do much reporting on, bless their hearts!) to protect them from being sued EVER if someone gets sick from eating GMO food…y’know, little things like that*), it’s nice to know that by simply bending over and putting some tiny seeds in the ground where there is plenty of sun, covering them with dirt, patting them down and making sure they stay watered, that such a lovely thing will grow and bring us such pure joy, the kind of joy that won’t be affected by the ever increasing stupidity on the planet.

    To close, here's a poem that I found from over a hundred years ago
    for you to enjoy today:
    Happy Spring!
    
    IN A POPPY GARDEN by Charles Francis Saunders (1902)
    Upon a summer's day, when the noon-tide air      
    Was dreamy with the languor of the heat,
    The poppies of my garden stirred to speech.
    "Master," they seemed to say, "we bring thee gift
    Of sleep, and, in sleep's hand, forgetfullness
    Of the world's smallnesses and petty prides,
    That, waking, thou mayest have a freer heart
    For life's nobilities."   .    .    .    .
    Then I awoke. Pray God, the dream come true.
    
    * This came from a friend and I thought it was important
    to add this to my post this week:
    
    Hi Folks,
    I am not familiar with the Blue Street Journal, but
    found this quote really interesting when I learned about it,
    and somewhat easing my rage in the light of what is happening
    with our food safety and security.
    
    "The GOP slipped in the "Monsanto Protection Act" into H.R. 933. 
    A bill designed to avoid a government shut down. 
    It also covered the Violence Against Women Act, SNAP, etc.
    
    If Obama hadn't signed it the government would have shut down,
    the Violence Against Women Act would have been
    dead (again), there would be no SNAP assistance to
    poor families, and more. 
    For those reasons this was a "must pass" bill. 
    
    If you're blaming Obama, you're doing what the
    GOP wants you to do. 
    They are the ones that did the deed..."
    
    --
    When the power of Love overcomes the love of Power
    the world will know Peace.
    ~Jimi Hendrix

    "WHITE POPPY AND SALLY CHICKEN"

    
    

    What Do You Do the First Hour of Your Day?

    Tuesday, March 26th, 2013

    Annice

    Lately, when I’m with my women friends over 50, all I see is women feeling overwhelmed, and I don’t think it’s just because I’m feeling a little crazy and over caffeinated.  It’s as if there is a little birdie in my head tweeting (and not digitally) about the importance of work/life balance, causing me to yearn for it BEFORE retirement. So, for the last 30 days, I borrowed the NIKE tagline – Just Do It – as my very own personal mantra, and guess what? It didn’t work, so I’m re-thinking my strategy and examining how I spend my day.

    In fact, I’ve been researching how highly accomplished people spend their day. It’s not that I am highly accomplished, but that I want to accomplish more in my day. So, how do they do it? Recently, I picked up an old article in Fast Company, What Successful People Do With The First Hour Of Their Work Day which got me thinking about how I spend my first hour.

    The author, Kevin Purdy, interviewed lots of highly accomplished people, and one of the tips is to: “Focus on the human side of work rather than your task list. The author likened the first hour of the day to “homeroom.” Remember that? The first period of the day when you basically just showed up to let the teacher know you were present. Purdy suggests we re-create our very own adult home room every morning. In other words, a time to just check in with oneself.

    More Tips:

    • Don’t Check Your Email for the First Hour. Seriously. Stop That!
    • Take that hour of Power – 30 Minutes to Thrive – or at least  Fifteen Minutes to Fulfillment.  ”Part of it involves light exercise, part of it involves motivational incantations, but the most accessible piece involves 10 minutes of thinking of everything you’re grateful for: in yourself, among your family and friends, in your career, and the like. After that, visualize “everything you want in your life as if you had it today.”  This creates a new habit where YOU are in control.
    Then there is Dr. Oz’s tip – I love this one:  A seven minute morning wake up workout you can even do in your PJ’s.  Check it out.
    But for me, I covet designer Donna Karan’s first hour of the day, and by the way,  just give me her entire morning.  Up at 7:00, and either Pilates or yoga with an instructor who comes to her house.  Then, it’s a hot morning bath with essential oils – all that BEFORE breakfast at 9:30.  Oh, she tries her best to squeeze in acupuncture at 1:00 p.m.  If you don’t believe me, check it out: Donna Karan’s Morning Routine
    Right now,  I’m feeling overwhelmed just from writing about Donna’s morning.  I think I’ll just start mine with a Bloody Mary or two.  

    Entries (RSS) | Comments (RSS).