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    Archive for the ‘Laugh Lines’ Category


    Sadhvi’s Weekly Post: It’s High Time for a Joke!

    Friday, August 26th, 2011

    SADHVI

    It’s been an intense time on the planet this past week.  Mercury is still retrograde, but will finally be going direct tomorrow.  Then there was an earthquake that was pretty severe on the east coast.  Whoa!  While we’re being told it’s not unusual, being from the east coast, I can say that it is.  And while I’m thinking about it, does anyone see any cause and effect with the incredible amount of high-powered blasting through the shale in the ground, otherwise known as fracking, to get to all that natural gas under the shale, in order to create a huge pipeline through some of the poorest areas of America, and this earthquake?

    OH MORNING GLORY!

    If you’ve clicked on the link to the word “earthquake” above, you will see an ad from Exxon-Mobil before the CNN clip, on the “safety” of fracking.  I know I felt better after watching some executive from that company tell me in a soft and smooth voice that it’s all done very safely.  I mean, how could blasting through shale with high-pressure, chemical-filled water (that is being taken from – where?) do anything to the earth.  I wonder if maybe Mother Nature is getting back.

    Now there’s this huge, and in the words of  President Obama, “historical” hurricane Irene, that looks really scary that is about to hit the eastern coast.  I know, I know, we’re not supposed to talk about stuff like that…sorry!  It’s just kind of intense looking!

    But it was also wonderfully thrilling to eat the first of the second batch of raspberries from my garden this week,  and the many very ripe figs off our tree (thank you Judi for your tip on how to increase the yield last fall – it worked!), to smell the intoxicating fragrance of the kudzu flowers, and roses still blooming.  And it’s always very good to spend time with our 11 hens, all named after my mom, Sally.

    KUDZU FLOWER

    HERITAGE RASPBERRY'S

    INSIDE MY FIG TREE

    And a good laugh is always welcome, so here’s a joke that I had never heard before, that cracked me up.

    Enjoy!

    Sadhvi

     

    An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.  He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.  After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” 

    The immediate silence in the entire bar is almost tangible.  In a deep voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it’s only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know a few things:

    1.  The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

    2.  The bouncer is a blonde woman.

    3.  I am 6 feet tall, weigh 195 pounds, and have a black belt in karate, and am a natural blonde.

    4.  The woman sitting next to me is  blonde and is a professional weight lifter.  And lastly, the lady to your right is also blonde and a well-known professional wrestler.  Now, think about it for a moment, Cowboy, do you really want to tell that blonde joke?”

    The blind cowboy thinks for a few seconds, shakes his head, and mutters, “No, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

    SALLY HENS

     

     

    Sadhvi Sez: It’s National Book Week

    Friday, August 12th, 2011

    SADHVI

    It’s National Book Week.  Or that is what I was told by a friend on Facebook.  I thought it was a fun 2 minute diversion to an otherwise hectic day.

    The rules: Grab the closest book to you.  Go to page 56.  Copy the 5th sentence.  Don’t mention the book.  Pass it along.

    “Every woman wants to kill the husband – it is another matter that she does not kill him – because if she kills him, what will she do?”

    *Note: I know this quote seems strange, but just so you know, I was feeling overwhelmed and my husband was adding to the mix; so when I picked a random book from the shelf, and read this  quote I had to laugh!  I am not a violent person, and I wasn’t thinking to kill him either. Enjoy!

    SADHVI'S MEXICAN TORCHFLOWER

    Women Elder Sharing Romance Tips: Finding Mr. Right

    Sunday, July 24th, 2011

    SADHVI

    I wanted to share my secret to eternal youth this week, but I couldn’t think of one.  Then I thought I could let you in on how at the age of 53, I’ve invested wisely and am now retired, except that this is not the case.

    So instead I’m going to share something that I think is pretty interesting.  I was looking at the data collected from GoogleAnalytics, a free service from Google that shows which key words people are punching into their search boxes, and how many of them there are.  What I discovered is that the majority of people using the web are trying to find their perfect mate!  Uh oh, wait!  I think that also includes porn sites.  Geez.  I shouldn’t be surprised, since just about all of my single friends use online dating these days.  I even have friends who tell me, “I’ve got to find time to get on Match.com!”.

    If only they realized that their type of “Mr. Right” is not anywhere but between the pages of a book.  Because having been in a relationship for over 25 years with the same partner, I can attest that it ain’t like what these single friends are yearning for.  It is not necessarily bad, it just isn’t romance every day!

    MR. RIGHT THERE ALL ALONG

    If I were looking, I definitely wouldn’t look for a potential relationship online!  They pick the picture themselves and they write things that make them appear like they are auctioning themselves off on the block!

    If I were looking for love, I would join a tango class, or a bowling league, or maybe just go the library and get some Harlequin romance novels and drift away in a comfortable chair.  Or just order online at my favorite book site: Better World Books.  A much better company than Amazon to support, by the way.

    Here’s a quote from a summer read that I recently picked up (no pun intended).  Let me know if you agree with me that reading about romance might be better than an actual relationship.  It’s cheaper. There is no compromise.  When your heart gets broken, vicariously of course, it will be better by the end of the book.

    Enjoy!

    Sadhvi

    He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow and guided me into a room – his room.

    Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone.  He approached me soundlessly, from behind

    and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear,

    “Just relax.”

    Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong,
    calloused hands start at my ankles – gently probing and

    moving upward along my calves – slowly, but steadily.

    My breath caught in my throat.

    I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn’t care.

    His touch was so experienced, so sure.

    When his hands moved onto my thighs, I gave a slight
    shudder and partly closed my eyes.

    My pulse was pounding.

    I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage.

    And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands,

    I inhaled sharply.

    Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted – he brought

    his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my panties.

    Although I knew nothing about this man – I felt oddly trusting and expectant.

    This is a man, a man used to taking charge.

    A man not used to taking ‘no’ for an answer.

    A man who would tell me what he wanted.

    A man who would look into my soul and say,

    “Okay ma’am – you can now board your flight!”.

     

    Oops 50 Humor!

    Saturday, July 23rd, 2011

    Folks, I don’t normally post videos, but this one had to be shared!!
    Jane

    Sadhvi Sez: It’s No Secret that Life is Beautiful!

    Friday, June 10th, 2011

    SADHVI

    I think that because life is so absurd these days, I am coming to a place inside myself where I feel at peace with it.  Funny, huh?  You too?

    In spite of this, I can’t help but notice an occasional “odd thing” popping up on my radar every now and again.  Like how the media has just about dropped any news coverage of the nuclear meltdown(s) in Japan.  Like it never happened.  Oh I know, I mean really, why worry us, the masses, about something that is out of control, right?  It’s just that, oh, never mind…I will just not think about those kind of things.

    Something funny that I saw and wanted to pass along…The Secret was a big thing a few years back, and there are people that I bump into who just “discovered” it and can’t believe how amazing it is today.

    Like attracts like and it’s really as easy as that!  Just wish for a new car, or even a check in the mail for a million dollars, and it will appear.  I mean, it was all there in the book and you could even see people just like me and you who experienced it: OMG!  Many, many people spent money and made the people who came up with this incredible idea very rich.  Well, it’s no secret that the founders fought and sued each other over who would get all that money and no longer talk to each other.

    Here’s a funny clip that made me laugh, from the Austrailain TV comedy satire show,  “The Chaser’s War on Everything” that makes fun of “The Secret”:

    Whatever your space these days, I do hope you feel more optimistic than pessimistic, and remember…during these intense times, try to do what one of my favorite new illustrator’s, Katie Daisy, says to do:

     

     

     

     

     

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