Annice

Meet my friend Marjorie. I met her in Washington, D.C. back in 1982 or 1983 at our local gym on M St.  We were sitting in the steam room, and she remarked how she hadn’t see me with my friend lately and wondered what happened.   I told her she moved to Boston to go to back to school, and how much I missed her.  She immediately reached out, and we became best friends after that.  Neither Marjorie nor I are in D.C. anymore, and I wish we were closer.  She has always inspired me to look for joy wherever it is.  Here she is singing in a gospel choir, and here is her story.

Marjorie

I have always wanted to sing in a gospel choir.  The energy and music is so uplifting.  You can be in the biggest funk…tired, depressed, or overwhelmed with your day and your life, but when you start singing it’s as though you’ve been totally transported to another place and time.

When I lived in San Francisco I sang in two choruses.  I never had a great voice, but good enough to be part of the choral group.  One of my “gigs” was in the San Francisco Gay Men and Women’s Chorus.  My next door neighbor at the time knocked on my door one evening and asked me if I liked to sing.  Well, “yes” I said, but I’m not good.  He said not to worry that it was just a fun group and they sang show tunes.  It turned out to be a little more professional than I was, but I still enjoyed it, and realized what a high I got from singing.  Then my “voice” went downhill (literally).  I was really distressed over it, but the ENT guy I went to said it “wasn’t cancer,” but I would have to give up my operatic career.  I fell over laughing.

So years went by without a song in my heart and last December, right before Christmas, my friend Nancy and I went to a local cafe here in Petaluma, (CA) for breakfast and the Wings of Glory was singing.  I checked it out and low and behold they are here practically right in my backyard!  The best things about this group are 1) you don’t have to audition 2) you don’t have to have a great voice and 3) there is no commitment to show up for rehearsals every week or attend the performances.

Wings of Glory

I haven’t missed a rehearsal yet!  The members are some of the most welcoming people I’ve ever met.  Last weekend we sang with the Oakland Interfaith Choir.  You want to hear great voices….that’s the ticket.  Any one of them could go on American Idol and win!  There was also a Jewish A Capella group there called Vocolat and they were singing Hebrew and Yiddish songs…I  felt more at home.

We are the token white gospel choir, but we have the spirit and the “moves.”  We are invited to perform at a number of different venues.  Churches, of course, but also wineries and other events around the area.

So, how is it, you ask, to be singing about Jesus for a nice Jewish girl from Brooklyn?  Well after all, Jesus was a nice Jewish boy from Bethlehem.  And at least they both start with a “B”, right!?  And, if you’re ever in my neck of the woods please come and hear us sing.  You will be looking for a gospel choir in your area instead of a therapist!

RED POPPY'S AND BLUE SKY

I read a book that everyone seems to have read, and I found out it’s been made into a movie a while back. It’s called “Sarah’s Key”. I guess I am not on top of things, but that’s never bothered me before.

Hey, I just discovered The Public Library again too. It’s so great,  because as much as I long to be swimming in the ocean these days, or relaxing in a thermal bath in Switzerland, I can’t. But getting lost in a good book is the next best thing, so go out and get your library card and start to read: and, it’s free.

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I have a friend who is so cool. His name is Tosh, and he has this site that has his book reviews. Whatever book he has said is great, well, it is. Check it out. You will find a book that is new to you, and perfect for your next mental get-away.

The beauty of flowers, the color of the blue sky, the smell of honey and clover and fresh-cut grass in the air…it sure makes me smile and feel like there is nothing wrong with the world.

I am feeling grateful and drinking in what is here in my garden.

I’ll finish this week’s post with a poem that I thought was by Rumi, but one that is actually by Rashani Rea. It’s  a poem that you might want to read out loud: Enjoy!

VERBENA AND OUR HENS

There is a brokenness out of which comes the unbroken,
a shatteredness out of which blooms the unshatterable.

There is a sorrow beyond all grief which leads to joy.
And a fragility out of which depth emerges strength.

There is a cry deeper than all sound whose serrated edges cut the heart
as we break open to the place which is unbreakable and whole.

Rashani Rea

CALIFORNIA POPPIES

THE OPENING OF A PEONY

In the last week it seems as if everything is growing, budding, and flowering at an accelerated rate in my garden.

The first fragrant peony opened, as well as the comfrey, the pink’s, the salsify, and the parsley too. The roses, the geraniums, the abelia, the sweet william. And hey, it’s just the first week in May.

There is so much to do, what with planting time being until tomorrow, that I say the hell with senseless murders, politics and politicians; I am done with Fukishima news and the high levels of radiation that is and will continue to be in our food chain, forever. I am done with hearing anyone talk about their medical conditions: I just can’t take any more of that kind of stuff in when I have intense planting to do.

IT FEELS AND LOOKS LIKE SUMMER - OH MY!

I have to plant my zinnias, my lettuces, my basil, my zucchini, sunflowers, some bachelor buttons, or else.

I wasn’t planning on getting more than a couple of tomato plants, but somehow, 15 ended up in our dirt!  Cherokee Purple, Yellow Pear, Hillbilly, Rutgers, Black Krim, and Mr. Stripey. I have a feeling I am going to be learning how to do some canning soon.

WHAT THE PEONY IS LOOKING AT

Click on this line to see a very interesting post I read on how to get the most flavor and fruit out of the beloved tomato plant in your garden; or, How to Grow Perfect Tomatoes.

RED ORIENTAL POPPIES

And whether you like or hate Obama, below is a clip of a recent dinner event that made me laugh. Many of my friends who are in the know with these kinds of things, had only just heard about it.
Take a moment to see another side of Obama that made me laugh. And that is something that I always have time for.

Wishing you Well,

Sadhvi

TIRAMISU

I’ve had a long relationship with Tiramisu.  Not growing up in Cleveland, no, that chapter of my life was Fannie Farmer Fudge, Snickerdoodle cookies, home-made tapioca pudding, and delicious poppy seed and nut rolls days.

But after moving to Switzerland, my whole world opened up in many ways with new things to discover, like architecture, art, gardening, and of course, food.

And since there are French, German, and Italian-speaking parts of Switzerland, that diversity not only listed all the ingredients on the labels of every item in the grocery store in those 3 languages (french is the easiest and closest to english, funny enough), but it also brought a lot of variety to what I ate.

I think I had my first bite of Tiramisu in an Italian restaurant somewhere, and while I don’t remember where, I do remember being blissed out!

VERMONT CREAMERY'S MASCARPONE

I just had to try to make it myself, and was happy to find out that it is so easy.  In Switzerland, there is a very good cook book that is called “Betty Bossi“.  It’s kind of the same as “Betty Crocker” here in the States.  I just linked the word, “Betty Crocker” to the Americanized-version of Tiramisu.  But I would definitely stick to the Swiss one below.

NONNI'S BISCOTTI BITES

Since the recipe calls for mascarpone, I hadn’t made it in a long time because I just couldn’t find it here.  A few weeks ago, I was trying to get out of our local Whole Foods as quickly as possible (I hate shopping!), when I saw Vermont Creamery’s mascarpone.  It was something like $4.99 for 8 oz., which I thought was OK.  It’s so OK that I’ve invited myself to potlucks of people I don’t know just so I can make it to be able to eat some. I think I’ve made a total of 5 batches since then.

It takes about 20 minutes from start to finish, and it is really good!  Just about everyone that I have shared it with has asked for the recipe, so here it is…enjoy!

Here’s the original recipe from the Betty Bossi cookbook, and here is my translation:

Sadhvi’s Swiss Tiramisu

Get 3 bowls (2 medium, the 3rd one larger) out of the cupboard. Get an oblong glass loaf pan, or small cups or…anything you want to use to present the Tiramisu in.

Take the Nonni’s Almond Biscotti bites, and place them in one layer at the bottom.

Take a Pyrex measuring cup, and add 3-4 T. instant Italian espresso coffee.  Add 1 cup hot water to dissolve, and then add 1 T. sugar, 3 T. Amaretto, and 2 T. Patron Orange Liqueur. Mix it up, and put aside to cool.

Take 8 oz. of Mascarpone (the whole container), and put in the BIGGER bowl.  This container was shy 2 T. of mascarpone, so I used 2 T. of  sour cream.  Grate the peel or an organic lemon over the bowl, and mix it up.

Separate 2 very fresh eggs (I got mine by lifting one of our hens up, and taking them from there), the yolks go into one bowl, and the whites go into another one.

Add 3 T. sugar to the egg yolk and mix them up with a hand mixer.  Add to the mascarpone mixture. Clean the beaters.

Add a pinch of salt to the egg whites, and mix until “stiff peaks” form.  Add 1 T. sugar, and mix some more.

Gently fold the egg whites into the “mascarpone mixture”.

Pour enough of the espresso mixture over the biscotti (like maybe a little more than half of it).

Layer and spread the mascarpone mixture over to cover.

Take some more of the biscotti and dip them into the espresso, and lay gently on top.

Pour the last of the mascarpone mixture on top.  Shake the crumbs from the biscotti box over the top.

Cover the top with plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least 2 hours, or overnight.

Voila!

* Note: If you take this to your friend’s house, or make it for dessert when friend’s come over for dinner, expect them to think you are smarter, more attractive, and more pleasant to be around than before.

IT'S SO GOOD:)

JANE

At 5, which is the first age where I can remember the feeling, I worried that I would never see my favorite red-and-white cardboard bricks again, since my parents had “loaned” them to my cousins as we were leaving for a four-year Army tour in Germany.

At 10, in addition to worrying that our house might burn down, I lost sleep thinking that if Santa Claus wasn’t real, then what other lies might my parents have told me?  And, since Tony Ludholz had stuck a ring with a blue stone in my hand and said “now we’re engaged,”  did that mean I really had to marry him?

At 15, I spent a lot of time worrying about that horrible guy who killed the nurses or those two men who killed the family in Kansas ’in cold blood’.  I worried that the first men on the moon might not make it back home safely–and that every single person who had a chance of saving the world would get assassinated.  I also worried a lot about nuclear bombs, when I wasn’t worrying that Michael Krick would not ask me to dance at the end-of-the-year dance.

OH NO!

At 20, I worried that I would never, ever finish all the work I had to get through to graduate from college, that we would never get out of VietNam, that even if I graduated, I would never get a job because all I knew how to do was go to school and pass my classes, and that I would never, ever fall in love because men were all sexist pigs–and that I would never be able to tolerate my father ever again because he sat and read the paper while my mother fixed dinner–and because he thought “Ms” was an unnecessary addition to the English language!

At 30, I worried that my new marriage would end in disaster, that childbirth would hurt worse than anyone had said it would–and I would die in the process–and that nuclear war would happen right at the point where I had discovered I could love someone.

At 35, I worried our baby girl would grow up in a world full of pollution, nuclear bombs and global warming–and would blame us.  I also worried that she would die of SIDS, be kidnapped, get injured, have a life-threatening illness, or choke on bacon.

WORRY DOLLS

At 40, I worried we would never get out of Iraq, that my son would end up being drafted, that my children and my parents would die at any minute, that nuclear war would destroy us all, that Bush would always be president.

At 45, I worried that I had not read to my youngest child enough (or ever taught her to floss), that my parents would die, that I would die of heart failure caused by obesity, that my son would end up a crack addict, in jail, or a paraplegic from a skateboarding accident, that, despite all the changes of the ’70′s, my daughters would live in a world of sexist pigs and their souls would be trampled.

At 50, I started worrying about growing old before I could ever finish a single good poem, that our troops would never get out of anywhere, that  my parents would die before my kids were old enough to remember them, that September 11th was just the beginning of a horrible end to whatever was left of the American dream, that there might not be a God, and that my children might hate me forever, since I was making daily mistakes with their teenage psyches.

At 55, I worried that my children were growing so fast that I couldn’t even take a breath before they’d be grown.  I worried that my brain would stop working before I could finish anything, that my daughter/son/daughter would hate college, be unhappy away from home, get hurt without me there to fight off boogeymen, not want to come home because they took a Sociology class that made them realize all of their parents’ inadequacies.  That I might be turning into my mother!

THE ICE CAPS ARE MELTING!

Looking back over this list, I realize that 1) some of these things came true, and, although they were bad, they were not as bad as I had feared–some of them were worse  2) there was nothing I could do about it, no matter what.

I wish I could say that now, at 58, I’ve stopped worrying.  But I can’t.  I think I might be addicted to worry because of the elusive sense of control it gives me.  If I can make sure I worry about something, maybe I can stave that thing off for a few more seconds, keep that wolf away from the door.  After all, bad things always happen when you least expect them.

I do know one thing:  after all these years, I have at least learned to take some of my worries with a grain of salt–like , for instance, the one about the ice caps melting and carrying away our house.  I have a few years before that could happen, right?

SUZIE IVY

When I was forty-four years old, I experienced a run of bad luck that culminated with a serious accident on my horse leaving me with a broken hip. Add this to a major midlife crisis, empty nest syndrome, and a slow steady weight gain of more than forty pounds and you will understand that I was in a real funk.

When I was able to put my walker aside and make a slow unassisted stroll, I found myself staring at a community bulletin board and reading a poster which advertised a police position at our local department. The key words that caught my eyes were, “No age is too old.”

I started exercising, eating less and striving toward a nearly forgotten teenage dream. I turned forty-five years old, passed all the department requirements and went to the police academy. Against all odds, I passed the rigorous physical and psychological torture to become the first female officer in the small Arizona town where I live.

I am now fifty years old and our first female detective. My daily shift consists of major felony cases including homicide with my specialty being sex crimes. I’ve written two books about my true-life adventures and write a weekly blog post at http://badluckdetective.com about the humorous side of my job.

I’m a menopausal woman with a badge and a gun. I can’t think of a better place than Oops50 to meet other women who are achieving their dreams or looking for inspiration to take life by the horns and make their mark.

Oops50 puts a smile on my face as I see what incredible women are achieving regardless of age and sometimes in spite of it. If the space program is brought back, my goal for age sixty-five is to be an astronaut. What could possibly stop me?

BAD LUCK OFFICER

CLOUDS

With my sun in Pisces and living right on my Neptune line, you’d think that I’d be a daydreaming fool.  But no, I cannot even take a little catnap in the afternoon!  There is just too much to DO!

I remember how much I liked to color with crayons as a kid, and how I would lay down in the grass and look up in the sky for long periods of time.  Now, baking (more so than cooking meals) takes me to places that are nice, and meditating is good because it is going inside, but it is not often enough.  I occasionally allow myself time to paint, and get into the zone of no-mind, but again, it just isn’t often enough.

I tend to think it’s because of the amount of my day I spend on “the computer”.  And the fact that I now “multi-task”, which has only started within the last couple of years.
So when I read an article from the Huffington Post site that says the latest research shows that a wandering mind helps the memory, I was thrilled.  What an interesting post!  Here’s an excerpt from that article:

Adam Gazzaley, a University of California San Francisco neuroscientist who studies the mind and distraction, wasn’t surprised by the results.

“I have been thinking more and more about our external environment and our internal environment,” he said. “We feel like we live in an external environment because we interact with the world.  But we also have a dynamic and rich internal environment.”

Results are indicating, “there may be consequences” as we jam more and more stimulus into our heads, without taking a break to simply contemplate or daydream, Gazzaley said.  “There are costs to multitasking and not pausing.”

Previous studies have shown that multi-taskers are more distracted and stressed.

“It is up to us to slow down enough to make informed decisions,” Gazzaley continued.  “I think there is a growing tendency to feel that if it exists,” he said of media in all its forms and omnipresence, “I might as well use it all at the same time.  But just because it exists, and is cool, does not mean it has to all be used simultaneously.”

So now that it’s proven that it’s perfectly OK to space out and to take mental break during the day, I feel more and more people will begin to enjoy life – hooray!
So take a moment to listen to the following song from the Lovin’ Spoonful, and enjoy where it takes you.

JANE

I’ve been thinking about poetry—and how it can change your life or at least change the way you view your life.  What got me started thinking about this today was remembering a story that my sister told me years ago about a teacher of hers in Germany, a man who, during World War II, was forced to spend years in a hard labor camp.  He told her class that one of the things that kept him sane in that horrible situation was reciting to himself all the poems he had memorized as a child in school.  That story has stayed with me through the years—and made me want to memorize poems whenever I could.  (It was always in my thoughts when I was raising kids, making me worry about how seldom they had memorization assignments.  Memorizing poetry seems to be a lost art, except in poetry slams!)

But thinking about that story today also made me think about the poems I have in my head that have carried me through difficult times and wonderful times.  There is, for instance, W. H. Auden’s“In Memory of W.B. Yeats,”  which helped me deal with the death of a beloved high school English teacher with such lines as, “What instruments we have agree /The day of his death was a dark, cold day”, and “Earth, receive an honored guest: / William Yeats is laid to rest. / Let the Irish vessel lie /Emptied of its poetry.”

W. H. Auden

Or there is Anne Sexton’s “The Fortress,” whose lines kept coming back to me when my children were little:  “Child,/ what are you wishing?  What pact/are you making?/ What mouse runs between your eyes?  What ark/can I fill for you when the world goes wild?”

Louis MacNeice

Or there is Louis MacNeice’s incredible long poem, “Autumn Journal,” which I could never hope to memorize, but parts of which have come as close as anything to shaping my philosophy of life, such as this one:  “None of our hearts are pure, we always have mixed motives. / Are self deceivers, but the worst of all /Deceits is to murmur ‘Lord, I am not worthy’/ And, lying easy, turn your face to the wall.”

Anne Sexton

Nowadays, as I feel myself getting older in body but trying to stay young in spirit, I find myself turning more and more to e.e. cummings’ wonderful “you shall above all things be glad and young,” with those incredible last lines:  “I’d rather learn from one bird how to sing/than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.”

e.e.cummings

I’d love to hear from you readers about poems that have meant something to you.

I was one with Elvis when I was about 8 or 9. It was in a dream, and boy, did it feel real. Not the sexually acrobatic kind of oneness, no, it was a true melting of souls. I can still remember how delicious it felt to merge with a human being. It was so good, and truly, I don’t even think I knew who Elvis really was. I do remember my Mom listening to Jerry Vale and Peggy Lee a lot, and my Dad liked Elvis, but I didn’t realize what a phenomenon he was back then. I must have been picking it up via the collective consciousness.

But then again, I also had dreams of being dissolved with God, you know, the Almighty. I guess you could say that I have a bit of the devotee in me, and secretly long to become one with the Universe. Still. Or maybe it was just part of the Path of merging and melting which would eventually lead me to find my Guru.

What brought all this on? Well, hearing that Davy Jones, one of the Monkees, passed away this week, made me take a little trip back in time, remembering their music, which I really liked. I don’t want to say “loved”, since it wasn’t really used then like it is now – the word, love, I mean. You know, these days, it’s like: I love my iPhone, I love my iPad, I love so-and-so’s chocolate cupcakes, etc. It’s interesting to think back to the way people talked, and instead of saying how much you loved everything that you liked, or how awesome everything is that you think is neat, you kind of just kept it to yourself and savored it.

Anyways, even though I wasn’t in love with Davy, his death made me remember how much I really liked their music. In fact, I had all of their albums, played them over and over again, and knew all the words to all of their songs. I watched them every week for many years on TV, probably not missing an episode. So for what it’s worth, I wanted to share my favorite song from the Monkees.  RIP Davy Jones.

Moi Zip Lining

The idea of a cruise first came to me in a dream while my husband was recuperating from a hip replacement last year.  I dreamed about being waited on hand and foot and not having to wash dishes, do laundry, cook or even think about cooking.  So, after my Dad passed away last April, my sisters and I decided to take a cruise with our husbands as a way of spending time together and not having to work at it.  And since my Dad loved cruises, we settled on a cruise for our journey together.

Norwegian Star

We boarded the Norwegian Star in Tampa Bay (Feb. 5-12^th) and sailed to Honduras, Belize, and the beautiful beaches of Costa Maya, and Cozumel in Mexico.  I have to admit, right from the beginning, I was struck by the customer service.  For example, when we first boarded the ship, it seemed like thousands of people were boarding with us and not only was the process quick and organized, the staff smiled all the way through it and were amazingly friendly – nothing like the airport scene where personnel often act like they are doing YOU a favor.  Everyone I came into contact with on the ship seemed to have one priority – to make sure all passengers have a comfortable, relaxing, and fun time.  If the crew was faking it, they did a great job.

What did I like?  I loved sitting on my private balcony listening to the ocean and keeping the door slightly ajar at night so I could hear the sound of the sea while falling asleep.  I loved sitting on the upper deck in the quiet zone reading, uninterruptedly, Deborah Reed’s new novel,  Carry Yourself Back to Me.

And, I loved the excursions on land.  We zip lined in the rain forest in Belize and later with headlamps on, we floated in tubes through the Mayan cave system.  Other days we relaxed on the gorgeous beaches sipping margaritas and pina coladas.

Coupe Car Cozumel

And when we were at sea, there was the spa with hot tubs, hydrotherapy pools, and cushiony lounge chairs looking out at sea.  Of course there is the dining and endless buffets culminating in the last night’s chocolate buffet.  And, should you get bored, there are endless musical shows that aren’t too bad.

Chocolate Buffet

What didn’t I like?  Just too many darn people – almost everywhere.  I also didn’t like not having enough time once we docked to truly explore any one place.  Basically, you get a sampling of what the country might be like.  It would have been fun to spend the week in just one place but clearly cruises are not designed for that.  All in all, the best part of the cruise was spending time with my two sisters who I don’t get to see enough and of course, not having to cook, clean-up or do anything but visit.

The Brown Girls Cruising

My husband never seems to remember what I have said to him.  For instance, if I tell him I want him to take the garbage out, he nods his head and smiles at me, as if he knows what I’m saying and is going to jump right up and do my bidding.  But then, hours go by and the garbage is still sitting there, lonely.  How do I know if he is hard of hearing or has Alzheimer’s?

Ignored in Ithaca

Dear Ignored,

If  he doesn’t remember you telling him that dinner is on the table, he may need to get his ears checked.  If he wanders around the neighborhood in his boxer shorts, it’s Alzheimer’s.  If  he hears you when you tell him the game is starting on t.v. but doesn’t hear you when you ask him to unstop the toilet, he’s a man who has been married more than five years.

Dear Johanna,

Lately I am eating all the time.  I pig out at meals.  I sneak out for ice cream in the afternoon at work.  And, worst of all, I suddenly find myself standing in front of the refrigerator in the middle of the night, a bagel with cream cheese in one hand and Oreos in the other!  My husband is starting to say that I am  a food addict.  What do I do?

Fat in Florida

Dear Fat,

You go to your doctor right away and tell him/her you are not sleeping well and need Ambien.  Then you tell your husband you’ve been taking Ambien for the past few months, and apparently it has caused you to exhibit strange behaviors around food.  Works like a charm! 

Dear Johanna,

I am afraid I no longer love my husband, but I’m too tired to make any changes in my life.  I already have a separate bedroom.  I’ve told him we can’t communicate, so there is no use even trying to talk any more.  The other day, he fell down, and I kicked him–and felt no guilt.  Is this normal at my age?  I’m 65.

Anxious in Anchorage

Dear Anxious,

Your reactions may be a little extreme, but I get where you’re coming from.  I hear that in some cultures, once women are past childbearing age, they all live together happily–and boot the husbands out.  I don’t think that idea would fly in America, but I hear you, sister!  But no more kicking!  Just make him a “man cave” where he can go watch TV and drink beer while you hang out with girlfriends.  You’re much less likely to end up in jail!

Johanna

NANCY

I miss Andy Rooney, and, in tribute to him, I am going to air one of my pet peeves.  I’ve gotten so I read through the obituaries, partly for that feeling of having won a little lottery when I don’t see anyone’s name I know (so at this point, I still win a lot) and partly to read about strangers’ lives and marvel at the detail in some of them.  I have to admit that I also look to see mentions of a beloved pet left behind.  I do that with wedding announcements, too, and feel instantly connected when I see a pet in the picture with the happy couple.  I guess I should disclose that my dog “Pasha Bird” shared space with me in my college yearbook.

But, back to obituaries!  Often I see a picture of a young person staring out at me, and I gasp to myself, thinking, “how sad,” but then, when reading on, I discover the person is actually way past 60.  It happened just today in the Chapel Hill News.

Are we trying to say we are now forever young?  I don’t get it.  There was a flapper not long ago in the Raleigh paper, hair flattened down with tight curls, in a roaring twenties dress.  So, of course she was in her nineties.  Would any of our current acquaintances recognize us if we put our high school picture in our announcement?  Is it the families that do this?  Or do we, upon reaching a certain age, pick out our best shot from fifty years ago and designate it as our ‘parting’ shot?

I can see that some people may just not have a more current picture, but in this digital day and age, I would think they would be in the minority.

So, for heaven’s sake, anybody who doesn’t have a recent picture, please ask your grand kids to snap one of you, so we won’t have to move you through all three focal levels in our glasses to figure out even that we knew you!

Now I’m going to look up Andy’s obit to see what his picture was like.  Here it is:

ANDY ROONEY'S OBITUARY PHOTO

Annice

For the last month, my Saturday night entertainment has been Animal Planet’s Pit bulls and Parolees. I am a devotee of this show that brings together an amazing cast of tattooed characters and critters. For starters, there is Tia Torres, a tough red-headed super hero mom over 50, who founded Villalobos Rescue Center(VRC) to save abused and abandoned pit bulls. With her on this journey are her family and a crew of ex-cons who work tirelessly caring for almost 200 pit bulls at their 10-acre facility.  It’s a story of wounded souls to the rescue, and I love it. No job is too difficult for this dedicated and tattooed team. I’ve seen them spend days out in the scorching desert waiting to capture and rescue one scared dog.

Tia and friend

This past week, I witnessed Tia and her crew trek out to Alabama (from CA) to help rebuild a dog rescue center that was destroyed by the tornado there. They conducted a memorial service for the twenty some dogs that were killed and at the very moment during the service when the name of each dog that perished during the tornado was being called out, the other dogs on the premise were howling as if they, too, heard the names and were saying good-bye. And don’t forget to keep a box of Kleenex close by…

The drama is gripping. Not only does this amazing super hero, Tia, run the rescue for these four-legged friends but a rehabilitation program called Underdawgz for the parolees.  Tia believes both pit bull and parolee have been maligned and feared and both are in need of training and rehab, and Tia is committed to that — no matter how long it takes! I love her.

Showing the Love

But if you’re thinking about adopting one of these doggies, Tia doesn’t make it easy. She is is very strict about who adopts these animals because they are not for the bleeding hearts, and she wants everyone to know what they’re getting into. It takes commitment and hard work to own one of these rescues, but from what I’ve seen on the show, the reward is great.

Annice

This is one of my favorite recipe’s from my dear friend Va at Sheville.org.  I tried to make this Tequila Christmas Cake recipe for Chanukah again this year, but it didn’t work out so well.  So, I’m trying again for New Year’s Day.  Here goes:

 Ingredients 

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Sample the tequila to check quality.  Take a large bowl; check the tequila again to be  sure it is of the highest quality.  Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.  Add 1 teaspoon of sugar.  Beat again.  At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK.  Try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.  Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck iin the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor.  Mix on the turner.  If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity.  Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.  Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon ice strain your nuts.  Add one table.  Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.  Turn the cake tin 360s and try not to fall over.  Don’t forget to beat off the turner.  Finally, throw the bowl through the window.  Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.

Too Much Tequila

Pahhpy New Gears!

Annice

Oops.  I did a really stupid thing.  I was driving around doing errands on Saturday when I looked into the rear view mirror and saw how ghastly my hair looked.  I was in the middle of a hair emergency without an appointment.  I haven’t been happy with my stylist lately, and in fact I’ve been shopping around.  I’m tired of paying a lot, and not being satisfied.  All that to say, I ended up driving to the nearest cheap hair salon I spotted on the highway, and walked in.

After all, aren’t all the stylists in those kind of places recent grads who know the latest techniques?  Aren’t they just working at these cheap places to get experience, build up a clientele, and move on?

I walked in.  “Hi, can someone cut my hair now?”

Behind the desk, the receptionist, sporting a great haircut, looked up.

“Sure.  Give me your coat and take a seat.  I’ll get Terry (not her real name).”

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Sitting in Terry’s chair, I looked around.  The place was dumpy, looking like the low-end salon it was.

Out walks Terry smelling badly from cigarette smoke.  Her face was covered with deep wrinkles and when she smiled, she was missing a few teeth.  I won’t bother to detail the many different colors of her hair ranging from burnt orange to caramel.

OMG.  I had a sick feeling in my stomach as I sat in Terry’s chair, a prisoner, held hostage by my own stupidity.  It was too late to turn back.

I tried to imagine the best case scenario.  Maybe she was a recovering addict from NYC and came to the mountains to get her life back together.  She wouldn’t be the first.  Or maybe she was a super stylist from NYC.  Anything was possible.

“Is that a natural curl?” she asked.

“Yes, and I happen to have a photo of the cut I like in my wallet.”  I handed the photo to Terry.

She looked at it for a second.

“No problem.  I’m great with curly hair, been cutting hair in Asheville since 1994.  Raised four kids as a single mom cutting hair.”

“Ever been to New York?”  I could only hope.

“Never been out of Asheville.  Never had the desire.”

“Never.  Not even for a visit?”

MY NEW HAIRCUT

“Nope.  I’m gonna  cut your hair dry.  It’s the best way to cut curly hair.”

I knew that was a fair statement and such technique existed, so I did not argue with Terry.

Chop, chop, chop.  Terry cut away until I was left with a short pixie.

“What do you think?  I think that looks about right.”  Terry picked up the photo and held it up to the mirror next to my image. “What about color?  We use a very good color here.”

I could not speak.

“Would you like to schedule your next appointment?”

“Next appointment?  Oh, well, I won’t be needing a next appointment until April – 2013.”

Jane

This joke was sent to me by Betsy, one of our contributors, and I just had to share it.  Apologies to all of you who have already heard it!!! 

(as told by a woman)

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here’s how it all went.

My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, “You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.”

Then we made passionate love all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and a mask over my eyes.

When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.

When he came in the door and saw me he said,

(You’ll love this)

“What’s for dinner, Zorro?”

 Here are 10 things I’m thankful for this year:

1)  We have wonderful friends who make us feel thankful to be alive and sharing this planet with them.

2)  Our daughter Becky in Africa is feeling better, so maybe she doesn’t actually have dengue fever or some other horrible tropical disease (what I immediately assumed upon hearing that she had a fever and muscle pains). And our daughter Josie does not have a stress fracture on her leg—just shin splints!  Yaay!  And she’s going with me to see Becky soon.

3)  Our daughter Lizzie has Janson in her life—a thoughtful, loving guy—and Janson may even have a job soon, thanks to some great folks who read about him in the paper and decided they wanted to go out of their way to help a Marine veteran!

4)  Our son, Parker, is very happy at Bard College—and, even though he won’t be home for Thanksgiving, he gets to have turkey dinner with Janet and Jerry, our wonderful friends in New York.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM OOPS50!!!!

5)  I have three powerful and loving sisters (and a host of wonderful blood kin) and terrific, loving in-laws (how lucky is that?).

6)  Tom can still, after 28 years (is that possible?), make me laugh so hard that I risk embarrassing him in public (but I never really do).

7)  Obama is still in the White House.

  Even though I’ve gained some pounds and need to get rid of them, I’ve managed to keep off most of my weight loss.

9)  Our dog Tater loves to chase a laser around our floor—over and over again—without ever getting bored or tired.

10)  Ultimate Ice Cream (in Asheville, NC), especially the Coffee Heath Bar (perhaps this last one should be avoided). 

JULIA

My thoughts on learning that I am going to be a Grandmother are as follows:

Okay, so I had more than 10 thoughts in a row.  This doesn’t happen every day.  I just had to write them all!

Julia Coward lives in Asheville, NC with her husband, in a house made entirely of dog hair.  She has held many varied and interesting  jobs in her career as a person, but her favorite has always been raising and caring for people and pets in all different ages and stages of life.  Plants have to fend for themselves.

While on the operating table she had a near-death experience.

Seeing God she asked, “Is my time up?”

God answered, “No, you have another 40 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live.”

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck.

She even had someone come in and change her hair color.

Since she had so much more time to live, she thought she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit by a car and died immediately.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 40 years – why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the car?”

God replied, “I didn’t recognize you.”

WHITE BEACH MORNING GLORY

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Every autumn, it’s the same thing: it takes me a while to get used to the idea that all the leaves will fall from the trees, it’s going to get cold, and winter is coming.

I have never lived in a place where there were NOT four seasons, so why does it come as a shock each and every year?

Maybe it’s simply because I don’t like to be cold!

Here’s a joke that I find funny ever time I read it:

On a small iceberg, somewhere near the North Pole, a little bear goes up to his mother and asks, “Mom, what kind of bear am I?”

“You are a polar bear, son,” replies his mother.

“Are you sure I am not a brown bear?” he asks.

.

“Quite sure, son,” she replies, “you are a polar bear.”

But the little bear is not satisfied. “Mom,” he says, “maybe I am a grizzly bear?”

“What are you asking these questions for, son?” asks his mother. “You are a polar bear.”

So the little bear walks across the iceberg to his father.

“Pop,” he says, “am I a panda bear?”

“No, son,” says the father, “you are a polar bear.”

“Not a koala bear?” asks the baby bear.

“No, you are a polar bear,” says his father. “Why are you asking all these questions?”

“Because,” moans the little bear, “I’m cold!”

So postponing the inevitable is why I like to have as many Zinnia’s around me as possible.  They seem to continue to bloom and flower until the first hard frost, which around here can be in November.  They require nothing more than putting some seed in the ground once the Spring frosts are behind, and then continue to sow some in little corners until mid-Summer.  Oh, and deadhead when needed, saving the spent flowers to use for next year’s blooms.

Remembering to do this is not hard, once you’ve experienced the joy of their colorful blooms.

Wishing you Well,

Sadhvi

Zinnias from a few days ago!

JANE

1) I feel old.  My hair is gray, and there are wrinkles around my eyes and mouth.

2) I will never be a child prodigy on the guitar.

3) The white hairs on my chin might scare young children.

4) I will never win an Olympic gold medal in Volleyball, unless it’s a special competition or old farts.

5) My husband is looking a little older, too.

6) I need more sleep than I used to.

7) I can’t remember anything, especially not anything that happened recently.

People in the South say “Yes, Ma’am to me” and sometimes give me that “what a cute  little lady” look.

9) My parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents—all the people who inhabited my childhood world, and even ruled over it—are gone.  I will never see them again, and my children don’t even remember most of them.

10) My hands are starting to look like my mother’s hands.

PRO’S:

1) I am a much better judge of character than I was in my twenties and thirties.

2) My husband still looks younger than most people his age.  In fact, strangers think he’s my younger brother.

3) So what if I can’t remember anything?!  Unlike members of the younger generations, my life is preserved in diaries, postcards, letters, love letters, even telegrams—not an e-mail or text message in the bunch—and photo albums with actual pictures on paper (although there is a definite shortage of these starting with the year we purchased our first digital camera).

4) My children are no longer teenagers, at least 3 out of 4.  They are also full-grown (or close enough) and capable of surviving without their parents.

5) I know what I like/don’t like, who I am/am not, who I don’t ever want to be.  I’m past agonizing over my identity or beliefs.  My needs are simple: good people, good food, good laughs–and good sleep.

6) I have the courage to speak my mind out loud (that one took longer than some of the others), and I have great friends  (and 3 great sisters) who seem to value that.

7) I do not ever have to Tweet on Twitter, if I don’t want to—and I don’t want to.

8) I’m past being embarrassed about much.  (Old Fart volleyball tryouts, here I come!)

9) I know that life is too short to waste on any of the following:  t.v. ads, committee meetings, red lights after 12 midnight, liver, and cleaning my house more than absolutely necessary to prevent the spread of disease.

10) I always wanted to have hands like my mother’s, where you can see the veins.  To me, they looked like the picture of love and nurturing and hard work.

12)  I actually like my gray hair and laugh lines—it took hard work to earn them both.

13) I never wanted to be a child prodigy anyway.  It was too much fun playing “Kick the Can” or “Sardines” all summer.

Turns out the Pro’s outnumber the Con’s!  Who knew?!!!

Annice and founder, Corinna

The 7th annual SE Women’s Herbal Conference

What a great week-end I had at the 7^th annual Southeast Women’s Herbal Conference in Asheville, NC.  This year, was the biggest conference ever, almost 900 women gathered to learn, connect, and deepen into the Wise Woman Tradition… earth-based healing, local plants, & deep nourishment.  Those of you who know me, know I’m not an herbalist but I tend to use herbs and natural products as my first line of defense when I feel something coming on.  This conference brought together such an amazing group of healers, and not only did I get to attend this year, but the organizers invited me to monitor the Embodiment track.  There were 8 incredible classes ranging from Shadow Work; Making Peace with your Body; Our Predatory Nature; and the Power of the Drum.  Let me just say that listening (and dancing) to over 100 women learning to drum was phenomenal, and these women practically brought the tent down.

What I loved most about the class was the teacher, Kristen Arant, who runs a non-profit in Washington, D. C. called the Young Women’s Drumming Empowerment Project which helps promote self-esteem in young women.  Now why didn’t anything like that exist when I was growing up?

President Obama visits Asheville

So, after an inspiring week-end, I was given a ticket to attend Obama’s kick-off speech in Asheville to promote his “Jobs Act” bus tour. What amazed me was that after living in D.C. for 20 years, I could still get excited about seeing the President and shaking his hand.  I know North Carolina is a battleground state, but hey, he won it before, and it ain’t over till it’s over.

MAXINE'S JOHN WAGNER

Maxine can still crack me up.  Like her, there was always someone around in the family who called a spade a spade.  In the “politically correct” times we’ve been living in, and now, where EVERYTHING IS AWESOME, I can appreciate Maxine’s character even more.  Because most of the people who used to be like her are gone.  And I know I should watch Jon Stewart, but I don’t have a TV.

The other day while at the market, I saw a young girl, maybe 11 or 12 years old, hugging a colorful book to her chest.  I asked her if I could see the title of the book.  It was, The Book of Awesome.  Her mother was behind her, and I asked what the book was about?  She said that every kid is reading it, and her daughter just loves it.  Nothing wrong with love, but this book even has its own Wikipedia page.  Now how weird is that?  What a peculiar thing, that there is a book written for people to read, about things like:

Snow Days, Bakery Air, Finding Money in Your Pocket and Other Simple, Brilliant Things

I wonder what Maxine is gonna have to say about it?

Hey, I might actually read this New York Times bestseller and start to wear a t-shirt with the cover on the front, and start carrying the book around, hugging it!

So who is the person behind Maxine’s character?  The following is taken from the Hallmark website:

John Wagner, Hallmark artist since 1970, says Maxine was inspired by his mother, his maiden aunts and his grandmother, the woman who bought him art lessons when “fill in the pumpkins” was about the extent of his art classes at St. John ‘s Catholic School in Leonia, New Jersey.

When Hallmark launched the Shoebox card line back in 1986, nobody knew that the crabby character gracing the covers of a few cards would become a celebrity.  It didn’t take long for Maxine’s irreverent quips about aging, the workplace, retirement, political correctness, and of course sex (or the lack of it) had struck a cord.

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“If Maxine can get a laugh out of someone who feels lonely or someone who is getting older and hates the thought of another birthday, or if she can make someone chuckle about stressful interpersonal relationships, then I’m happy.  Putting a smile on someone’s face is what it’s all about.”

Why the name ‘Maxine’?

“People at Shoebox started referring to the character as “John Wagner’s old lady”, and I knew that would get me into trouble with my wife,” John says.  So the Shoebox team had a contest among themselves to name the character and three of the approximately 30 entries suggested “Maxine”.   John says the name is perfect.  He’s also humbled by such acceptance of Maxine, and admits he’s proud of her.

So now you know!

Enjoy,

Sadhvi

FATIMAH'

I enjoy sharing women that are interesting and Fatimah’ is one of those women.  I recently met her to ask some questions in order for you to get to know her better.  She is so into music and has her own website where she is the DJ.  Finding out that we both listened to Matt the Cat and Kid Leo on WMMS, the home of the Buzzard, back in the glory days of rock in the 70′s was actually not a surprise…

What was the name of the first record you ever bought?

I remember it well…it was “Think”, by James Brown and The Famous Flames.  This song made me dance, and I love dancing.

Who was your favorite female singer while growing up?

It was “Esther Phillips”. Esther’s voice is sultry & unique.  Take a listen…

What is the one thing you have to put on that makes you feel good about leaving the house?

I have to say, it’s an essential oil called “Ylang Ylang” and I only use the one from the company, Young Living.  It makes me feel empowered, seductive, creative, and magnetic.

What is your favorite comfort food?

It’s either Ben & Jerry’s or Haagen Daz’s Butter Pecan ice cream, or, this Greek Honey Vanilla yogurt that I get at the health food store.

What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about being over 50?

If there was anything that is my least favorite thing about being over 50, I guess it would be that I don’t have the physical strength and tenacity that I used to have: I don’t last like I used to!  But my favorite things are I feel more conscious, more aware, and feel like I have wisdom.

What is your most favorite thing to do that is “creative”?

Dancing, singing, drumming, storytelling: I love them all!

Do you feel optimistic about the future?  And, what keeps you going?

Oh yes.  I do feel optimistic about the future!  And what keeps me going are the possibilities.  The unknown.  The trusting.  And the knowing.

What is part of your daily routine that makes you feel good?

I have a internet TV Station, “One Outrageous place on the Internet” ‘Shabazz 7777‘  WRNU Internet TV.

Check it out by clicking here: http://www.viewerone.com/channels/wrnu

I get such a good feeling and so much enjoyment while selecting the music or Informative Documentaries for each show, knowing that those good vibes are being passed along and shared; that is something that I love to do!  Tune in from 7pm – 7am every day to feel it!

Sue Counts

My friend, Sue Counts, retired three years ago as the Director of the North Carolina Cooperative Extension in Watauga County after more than 40 years in government.  During her tenure, Sue initiated educational programs in the areas of sustainable tourism, sustainable energy, Hispanic outreach, and women in agriculture.  Sue says, “At this point in my life, I’m seeking a better life for the Baby Boomers who are entering that stage of their lives known as ‘the senior years’.”  So, when Dene Peterson, the founder of ElderSpirit Community came to Boone a few weeks ago to talk about her life’s work, Sue was there attending meetings about the possibility of creating such a community in Watauga County, NC.  She graciously shares important information on “Retirement Housing.”

IT’S OFFICIAL!  We are now in the “ERA OF THE GOLDEN BOOMERS!”.  On January 1, 2011 the very first Baby Boomer turned 65, and 10,000 boomers will turn 65 every day for the next 19 years.  This gigantic generation has transformed America as they have passed through every stage of life…..and housing for the elderly will not be any exception.

It's Official

Co-housing communities if you will!  These communities bring together the value of private homes with the benefits of more sustainable living.  That means common facilities and good connections with neighbors.  All in all, they stand as innovative answers to today’s environmental and social problems.

According to Charles Durrett, author of Senior Cohousing Handbook — 2nd Edition, A Community Approach to Independent Living, “No matter how rich life is in youth and middle age, the elder years can bring on increasing isolation and loneliness as social connections lessen, especially if friends and family members move away.  Senior co-housing fills a niche for this demographic — the healthy, educated and proactive adults who want to live in a social and environmentally vibrant community.  These seniors are already wanting to ward off the aging process, so they are unlikely to want to live in assisted housing.  Senior co-housing revolves around custom-built neighborhoods organized by the seniors themselves in order to fit in with their real needs, wants, and aspirations for health, longevity and quality of life.”

Elderspirit Community

The ElderSpirit Community at Trailview in Abingdon, Virginia is the living example of a community of mutual support and late life spirituality.  It is the first mixed-income, mixed ownership Elder Co-Housing Community in the United States and in this capacity it is making its way as it “walks the talk.”  The founder of ElderSpirit Community is Geraldine “Dene” Peterson, a “spry” woman in her 80’s who recently received the “Lifetime Achievement Award” at the 2011 National Cohousing Conference in Washington, DC.

Dene Peterson

At eighteen, Dene  Peterson left her parents and ten siblings to join a convent. She ultimately chose to leave the religious order, but her spirituality remained deeply rooted. In 1995, at age 65, she created the ElderSpirit Community in Abingdon, Virginia. Inspired by a Danish model, Peterson wanted to form a co-housing retirement community that would allow friends to live together in a collaborative and supportive setting while also offering some of the autonomy of private dwellings.  Peterson also envisioned an alternative to institutional long-term care, a place where community members would have the emotional support of their peers as well as the necessary medical assistance to live out their lives at home.  Using a creative patchwork of funding from public and private resources, Peterson raised $3.5 million, and her vision materialized.  Construction of the 29 residences, common community building, and a prayer room was completed in late spring of 2006 and houses both the moderate and low-income.  The model has gained national attention, and an ElderSpirit outreach extension program in now helping to plan similar communities in Florida, North Carolina, Ohio, Kansas, and Virginia.

The ElderSpirit Community is dedicated to making possible new opportunities for Elders in the 21st Century.  The ElderSpirit Community values are: To live in a community of diverse spiritual paths; To give and receive support in relationship with neighbors in community; To belong to a community who make the decisions on how they will live together; and To encourage each other to live simply and care for the earth.

Annice

Last winter was long, cold and miserable.  It’s one winter I want to forget.  I spent months taking care of my husband (after he fell on ice and had to have a hip replacement) and feeling sorry for myself.  When Spring finally arrived, it brought my father’s passing followed by the death of both my dogs within three months of each other.  At long last, I received some good news.  I was gifted one full week in a writer’s residency program at the glorious Wild Acres Retreat Center in the North Carolina mountains.  Their website says, “The program allows individuals the solitude and inspiration needed to begin or continue work on a project in their particular field.”  And so, from Sept. 5-12^th, I stayed at the Owl’s Nest Cabin, tucked away in the mountains to work on my novel without any interruptions – none.  No distractions – none.  No T.V., no cell phone service, no internet, and no iPod.  It was just me, my laptop, my yoga mat, and 23 chapters of my book needing to be revised.  

As if that wasn’t cool enough, I also didn’t have to spend time preparing any meals, or cleaning or washing anything.  I didn’t have to be concerned about anyone other than myself.  How often does that happen?

SEE ANNICE WRITE

I was pretty much off the grid (without a car) and had to hike ¼ mile up to the main campus for my meals.  No big deal.  However, I was a little alarmed about a few things such as critters in my room and hunters on the gravel road near my cabin with their barking dogs.  You see, it’s bear hunting season in the mountains, and while I don’t want to be judgmental regarding a tradition that is centuries old, I am disturbed to know that folks are still out there hunting bears.  I mean, what for?

NOT MY HAND

As for critters, I had a ring-neck snake in my cabin which I managed to get out without killing it.  How did I know it was a ring-neck snake?  When I described it to people at lunch, they informed me that’s what it was.  I don’t like snakes, but I survived that crisis and moved on to another crisis, a yoga crisis.

When I left my house, I grabbed the September issue of the Yoga Journal  in case I needed it.  So, while I was patting myself on the back for progressing so well on my revision, I put myself in a funk practicing Hanumanasana (full splits).  Well, I knew it wasn’t an easy pose and certainly not one I ever practice out of class, but hey, I figured in a week I would make some progress- NOT.  So, frustration paid me a long visit that week, thanks to my greedy self wanting immediate results.   It’s amazing how we can find things to be discouraged about even when we don’t have to.  Once again, my mat teaches me a lesson.  I guess a yoga retreat is in order next.

YES SHE CAN!

SADHVI

It’s almost Fall – again.  I find myself going through the pantry, going through my closets, taking stock of things.

I am also making decisions on what I am willing to put up with for the sake of “keeping up” with the seemingly never-ending, new (and expensive) ways to be in touch and connected.

Yes, menopause is the reason, and yes, it is the only thing I can think about right in this moment that I like about it.  Having weird hormones in funny places makes it easy to weed things out that don’t make sense in my life.

If Facebook, and texting, and tweeting, and Linkedin, and Google+, and Pinterest, and of course, emailing and phones weren’t enough wonderful ways to “keep in touch” these days, I personally don’t think any more will help.

It’s kind of interesting, the range and extremes of what people are doing these days with all these ways of connecting.

For instance, I meet people who can’t imagine living without their computer.  Really.  And from the sound of their voice, I believe them.  I had several conversations with friends who ask me, how can I not text?  To which I answer, how can you possibly?  I don’t have kids, so that seems to be the major deciding factor.  I asked one Mom recently why she texted?  And she told me that it’s the only way to communicate with them.  Hmm.

LATE SUMMER MORNING DRIVE VIEW

On the other hand, I hear friends say things like, “I can’t do Facebook any more – it just sucks too much of my time”.  Or, “I can’t do Linkedin, it’s too much.”  I even have a few friends who have taken a big step and just deleted all their “InBox” and “Sent” messages in their main email account (the other ones they don’t even check!)!  Wow.  I often imagine doing that, but I just can’t.  I asked how it felt when they did that, and they said it felt really, really good.  Hmm.  Some of my younger friends don’t even have a cell phone.  They tell me they can’t afford one.  Double hmm.

There seems to be all levels and extremes in this new world regime where technology rules all of us in some way or another.

I am not into “keeping up” with it all any more.  I returned my “awesome” iPhone a few weeks ago and feel less irritated in general because I can actually HEAR what others are saying on my simple LG phone.  It’s not a smart phone, and believe me, it doesn’t have to be!  I feel like I was smart in giving it back though.  I already have to go through almost 200 emails every day so why would I want to have them downloaded on my phone?

When I asked my Mac friend if he really, really, likes his iPhone, as a PHONE, and he said, “Well, no, it’s so much more than a phone.”  I repeated the question, and he said, “Well, no, there are lots of better phones out there.”  Geez!

I am not against technology.  I use it.  I need a computer for work.  I enjoy flittering in and out of FaceBook.  I like YouTube.  I just don’t want to add anything more!

I wonder how many of us are getting tired of all this technology that seems to be more troublesome and time-consuming than it’s worth?

SUSUN WEED

I create space and balance by being in the garden, and taking walks with my dog.  Or baking.  Or writing letters.  So as long as I can keep the balance, all is well.

Here’s a clip below that I saw recently from Susun Weed, on how to make an easy vinegar to help us with Fall allergies, using Goldenrod.  I didn’t know that Goldenrod was such a powerful herb.  I just thought it was beautiful to look at. My Goldenrod is just starting to open, and I will make some.

Well that’s it from me this week.

Happy Fall!

SADHVI

I know some folks who have had everything taken away from them recently.  They live in Pennsylvania.  Where there was an earthquake, a tropical storm, and now heavy rains and flooding that has hit their area in the last couple of weeks.  It’s unreal.

I know a young family who live in Japan.  Dealing moment to moment with the reality of nuclear contamination in their food system, their water, and themselves.

I don’t watch TV.  But I cannot help be connected to people.  People that I care about.  And sometimes, it just gets to me.

I’ve always loved music.  From playing the flute to singing hymns in church to Christmas carols, music has always taken me away.  During these days when things seem intense and topsy-turvy, singing is a good thing.  And singing along to a song that you love is exactly what is the cure for what I got.  I leave you with one of my favorite songs written by one of my favorite songwriters, John Prine.  This one is sung by Bonnie Raitt with Jackson Browne (By the way Mr. Browne, my marriage proposal still stands).

JANE

I have a pair of new red shoes from a company that I want to highly recommend to our readers.  I didn’t think I’d ever write again about shoes, especially red ones, but I can’t help it.  I love my wonderful new shoes, “filled with millions of tiny air bubbles”  from a British company called Hotter Shoes.

They approached us at Oops50 recently and asked if we would like to try out a pair of their shoes, and of course I agreed to be a guinea pig—who wouldn’t want a new pair of shoes with the emphasis on comfort, right?  I was a little worried though, that I might be signing up for what our mothers would have called “comfortable shoes.”  You know the type: big, wide shoes with thick soles that come in either white or black.  Well, I went tho their site and was pleasantly surprised; the shoes looked good, but they actually look even better in person.

Jane's New Hotter Shoes!

These are not ugly, comfort shoes of the variety worn by old ladies with bunions.  These are stylish and comfortable shoes—to tell you the truth, I didn’t believe those two words could go together.  And even though the company’s name brought immediately to mind the movie, “Kinky Boots,” while there is nothing kinky going on, these are definitely hot shoes!

They come in all kinds of different designs.  And they are incredibly comfortable.  No aches and pains.  No sore toes.  And, they come in wide sizes without looking wide.  Check out their site, and if you order a pair, do let me know if you agree with me.  And if you have a moment or two, let me know what your most comfortable shoe is, Ok?

Annice

Every August for the last four years, a group of us (women over 50) spend the day on one of the most beautiful lakes in this country.

OUR LAKE

Hope you don’t mind if I don’t share the name of that beautiful pristine lake in Tennessee, but we just don’t want all the tourists coming with their loud motor boats, radios, etc.  Even though we only spend one day on the lake, it becomes an event for us gals.  There is a core of us who embark on this journey every year, but sometimes friends drop out (usually because of family commitments) so others join in.  It’s always a surprise, and it always works out.

Why is this day so special for us women over 50?   It’s simple.  It gives us one day where we can leave behind all the demands of our families – kids, aging parents, husbands, partners, meals, laundry, and on and on.

TAKING OFF

For one full day, our fearless captain Gwen, steers our Pontoon Boat so we can  just “be.” For some of us, it’s an escape from the everyday hassles of computers and technology that

LIFE IS GOOD!

sometimes overwhelm our modern and crazy life.  It allows us to bathe our bodies in the cool freshwater of the lake and feel the chill on our skin when we get out.  It allows us to anticipate the taste of a slice of juicy cold watermelon after a piece of tangy barbecued chicken.  It’s a time to visit with each other without interruptions, and it’s a time to say good-by to summer and agree to plan two visits to the lake next year even though we all know it won’t happen.  It just is.

TOO MUCH FUN!

SADHVI

It’s been an intense time on the planet this past week.  Mercury is still retrograde, but will finally be going direct tomorrow.  Then there was an earthquake that was pretty severe on the east coast.  Whoa!  While we’re being told it’s not unusual, being from the east coast, I can say that it is.  And while I’m thinking about it, does anyone see any cause and effect with the incredible amount of high-powered blasting through the shale in the ground, otherwise known as fracking, to get to all that natural gas under the shale, in order to create a huge pipeline through some of the poorest areas of America, and this earthquake?

OH MORNING GLORY!

If you’ve clicked on the link to the word “earthquake” above, you will see an ad from Exxon-Mobil before the CNN clip, on the “safety” of fracking.  I know I felt better after watching some executive from that company tell me in a soft and smooth voice that it’s all done very safely.  I mean, how could blasting through shale with high-pressure, chemical-filled water (that is being taken from – where?) do anything to the earth.  I wonder if maybe Mother Nature is getting back.

Now there’s this huge, and in the words of  President Obama, “historical” hurricane Irene, that looks really scary that is about to hit the eastern coast.  I know, I know, we’re not supposed to talk about stuff like that…sorry!  It’s just kind of intense looking!

But it was also wonderfully thrilling to eat the first of the second batch of raspberries from my garden this week,  and the many very ripe figs off our tree (thank you Judi for your tip on how to increase the yield last fall – it worked!), to smell the intoxicating fragrance of the kudzu flowers, and roses still blooming.  And it’s always very good to spend time with our 11 hens, all named after my mom, Sally.

KUDZU FLOWER

HERITAGE RASPBERRY'S

INSIDE MY FIG TREE

And a good laugh is always welcome, so here’s a joke that I had never heard before, that cracked me up.

Enjoy!

Sadhvi

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.  He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.  After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” 

The immediate silence in the entire bar is almost tangible.  In a deep voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it’s only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know a few things:

1.  The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2.  The bouncer is a blonde woman.

3.  I am 6 feet tall, weigh 195 pounds, and have a black belt in karate, and am a natural blonde.

4.  The woman sitting next to me is  blonde and is a professional weight lifter.  And lastly, the lady to your right is also blonde and a well-known professional wrestler.  Now, think about it for a moment, Cowboy, do you really want to tell that blonde joke?”

The blind cowboy thinks for a few seconds, shakes his head, and mutters, “No, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

SALLY HENS

SADHVI

I got a new iPhone last week so that when I am at our stand at the Market, I can take credit cards with the Square.  I spent a long time trying to figure out the best deal from the many companies, and frankly, it was harder than my first year of college!  So when a friend said I should Google Square I did and was so happy that someone (one of the founders of Twitter) came up with this easy method that lets you take any credit or debit card with a smart phone.  And the best part is that there’s no monthly fee or service contract.  Another added perk is that customers think you are cool if you offer this, don’t ask me why!  Kind of like if you’re the first kid to have the newest-toy-on-the-block sort of thing.  It couldn’t be easier to use, and the money goes straight into your bank account.  Perfect for massage therapists, artist’s, and small business owners.  And it works with the Droid and the iPad too.  Really, it’s great.

iPhone4

But getting an iPhone has made me cross the line from where I set my boundaries in my own personal comfort zone of technology.  I mean, I don’t text because I find it kind of weird to type on something so small, and, I don’t have kids, which I hear is the only way to communicate with them these days.  I don’t like to play games.  I don’t really get lost, and if I do, I like to look at a map or even ask people for directions (I get a secret thrill out of talking to a complete stranger of the same species as me!).  I don’t need to identify a song I like on the radio, I can just enjoy it as something new, and I will leave it to chance when I am on the road and am looking for a good place to eat.  If it’s not good, I know it will be an interesting memory, or something soon forgotten.

So imagine becoming immediately addicted to something that I am a bit embarrassed to write about: and that is, checking my incoming email while driving!  Can you believe it?  It was as if some part of my brain took over and told me: ‘It’s OK…you’re just cleaning up any junk mail and looking for the important ones!”  The bad part is that I wasn’t just doing it just at red lights.  After catching myself doing it during a long stretch of the ride home, I vowed not to touch that iCrackThing while driving ever again.  I don’t know what happened, but it was scary!  No wonder Apple is now worth more than the oil companies!

My 10-year-old niece came to visit, and while driving together in the car to the horse ranch that she would be staying at with her Dad in the car ahead, the beautiful mountain views were truly something to behold.  She sat next to me playing a game on her new iPhone4.  “I love it!”, she says.  I told her she can love it, but not while driving on vacation with her Aunt Sadhvi.  I wanted her to find enjoyment in the ride and the journey and the wonderful views.  She reluctantly put her beloved iPhone away.

Just to let you know, I also write her letters in cursive writing, on cute stationary and send them in the mail with stamps that I pick out, not the ugly Forever Stamps.  I’ve heard they don’t teach cursive writing in schools any more, and I think that’s kind a real shame.  That’s when I started to send her letters.  So maybe my niece will be able to land a job someday because she knows how to read cursive?!  No, I’m just kidding.  I really just want to make sure she has some “human connection memories” instead of computer games that she’s become addicted to on her awesome iPhone.

Or just maybe all this tuning out and tuning into a hand-held computer that is so cute, sleek and even loveable is just a way to tune out the hectic energy of the world?

Enjoy!

Sadhvi

“Be careful not to fill up every moment of your life with “stuff”: things to think about, to react against, to worry about, be upset about, regret or even look forward to… There’s more to life.  You don’t have to stop doing, but you can intersperse your life with brief moments of presence.  Like now… allow everything to be as it is.  Then become aware that there is an awareness here, a consciousness, & that THAT is more truly who you are than anything else.”

EckhartTolle

PRIYA'S MORNING GLORY

SADHVI

It’s National Book Week.  Or that is what I was told by a friend on Facebook.  I thought it was a fun 2 minute diversion to an otherwise hectic day.

The rules: Grab the closest book to you.  Go to page 56.  Copy the 5th sentence.  Don’t mention the book.  Pass it along.

“Every woman wants to kill the husband – it is another matter that she does not kill him – because if she kills him, what will she do?”

*Note: I know this quote seems strange, but just so you know, I was feeling overwhelmed and my husband was adding to the mix; so when I picked a random book from the shelf, and read this  quote I had to laugh!  I am not a violent person, and I wasn’t thinking to kill him either. Enjoy!

SADHVI'S MEXICAN TORCHFLOWER

Jane

I’ve been worrying too much lately.  It’s not good for me.  I do most of it at night, when the lights are out, and I wake up at 3 am, unable to sleep.  My worries run the gamut, but they always start with my 4 children: from my daughter in Africa (Will she catch some horrible disease from an errant mosquito?) to my son on a farm in New York (Will he survive another 105 degree day of digging up garlic plants?) to my other daughter at a blue grass concert in Connecticut (Will she be caught in a stampeding crowd of drunken concert-goers?) to my daughter here, safe under my roof (Will she be able to handle this upcoming year in high school,  with her 3 sports teams and band and outside-of-school activities?) to my job (Will I get everything done that is sitting on my desk?) to our finances (Never mind) to my health (Will I keep gaining weight or become an obese elderly woman that people pity and scorn?) to politics (Will Obama survive this nightmare? Will our economy? Will the world?) to religion (Is there a God out there listening?) back to my children (Why didn’t I brush their teeth more often?  Damn those stupid fruit roll-ups that I thought were healthy!  We won’t be able to afford the next 8 years of college!  Do they have what they need to make it in the world after college? which leasds to:  Did I give them any kind of spiritual basis to help them deal with their futures?)  You get my drift.  This is where things tend to go rapidly down hill into complete negativity.  I’m sure I don’t need to put examples here.  I’m sure most women over 50 know the kind of negative thinking you can do at 3 a.m., given a little energy and inclination!

OMG!

I’ve heard from a very reputable source that you can create negative channels of thinking in your brain if you keep thinking the same negative thoughts—that you actually wear paths so that your negative thoughts become the easy trail through the woods that has the most markers!  They say that your job is to stop those negative thoughts by wearing new paths.

I’m working on it.  I’m trying to make myself say positive things to myself whenever I can: “The kids are healthy, and they have great teeth that they inherited from their grandmother!” or  “It doesn’t matter that your house is a pigpen!  You’re  too busy getting your priorities straight to clean that back room!” or  “You have willpower of iron!  You are getting thinner every day!” or “The world is not falling into a heap of total and complete ruin, no matter how much the signs point to that scenario!”

As I said, I’m working on it.  But it’s hard.

I’m not sure I’m capable of wiping out all negative thoughts.  I can do it during the day.  Just not at 3 a.m.

I do know one thing that helps: laughter.  When I can laugh with my husband about something silly in the paper in the morning or guffaw over coffee with friends or die laughing with my daughters over a ridiculous movie like “Bridesmaids,” I feel better–and it carries forward into nighttime!  When I go to bed after laughing a lot during the day, the wheels in my brain start turning in different directions—and, next thing you know, I wake up thinking about how great our kids are, or how incredibly lucky I am to have wonderful girlfriends in my life, even if I only see them once a week or once a month or once in a blue moon, or how terrific it is to be surviving this Recession with my husband, with our marriage intact—or how wonderful a scoop of Ultimate Ice Cream’s coffee heath bar tastes!

I have to watch out for that last one though:  it can easily lead me back into one of those negative trails—the one full of worry about being a morbidly obese elder in a wheelchair!

SADHVI

Ok, for the last couple of days, Mercury has been retrograde.  Personally speaking, if it gets any more intense in the heavens, I might have to join the “Baptists who Believe and Want Rapture to Happen Yesterday” (BBWRHY) church down the street.  A friend recently told me about a quote he read…something about “Nothing can be done.  And, nothing matters.”  I think it was from Osho.  I like it.  And I find myself repeating it to myself throughout the day.  You might want to do the same…just find something you like and resonate with.

Here are some suggestions to get you thinking:

“Don’t Worry, be Happy.”

“Everything is OK unless you think about it.”

“Through Chaos Stars are Born”

You get the idea, right?

What does mercury retro mean to you and me?  Well, here is what my favorite astrologers at StarIQ have to say about it:

“Mercury, the planet of communication, short trips and details, appears to stop dead in its tracks on August 2 at 1 degree of Virgo. The planet then turns backwards in its apparent path through the zodiac. It stops again on August 26, then turns to resume its direct motion at 18 degrees of Leo.

Mercury turns retrograde three times a year, spending a bit more than three weeks in “reverse” gear each time. The retrograde cycle is due to the fact that we are viewing the planets from a moving platform, the Earth. The planets, in fact, do not actually change direction, but appear to do so from our perspective. This geocentric, or earth-centered, point of view is the basis for astrological measurements. In a sense, what you see is what you get.

What Does It Mean?

A retrograde planet is generally considered more introverted than when it’s in the normal direct motion mode. Astrologers have traditionally considered Mercury retrograde to be a time of difficulty in Mercury related endeavors like communication, travel and matters of detail. Some counsel the avoidance of launching new projects or signing contracts at this time. Glitches are considered more commonplace now, as are misunderstood or poorly delivered messages.

There are, fortunately, more optimistic views of what Mercury retrograde means. Rather than hunkering down in your bunker, this is a positive time to tie up loose ends, reconnect with people from the past, make mechanical repairs and get systems in order. This can also be a productive period for psychological review as new information can be gleaned from old experiences.

How Long Does It Last?

Mercury, the planet of communication, short trips and details, appears to stop dead in its tracks on August 2 at 1 degree of Virgo. The planet then turns backwards in its apparent path through the zodiac. It stops again on August 26, then turns to resume its direct motion at 18 degrees of Leo.

I hope you are enjoying what is,

Sadhvi

SADHVI

It’s been really hot on the eastern side of the US.  Or maybe it’s just a long hot flash?  Either way, I haven’t felt like doing much cooking in the evening lately.  So I try to take it easy and make simple things for dinner, like cold beet salad (I LOVE BEETS!) with fresh goat cheese and something from the garden, like dill.  I have a feeling that everyone has their own recipe with their own memories from their grandma or mother making it, so I won’t post mine.  You do know that I really don’t follow any recipes anyways, right?  And that it’s too hot for me to prepare dinner AND write down what I’m doing?

Oh, and by the way, if you happen to be living on the western coast of the States, where it’s been cold, well, you can still make fresh steamed or juiced beets – beets are so good for you.  Didn’t Dr. Oz talk about them recently?

But here is a recipe from Clara, who is almost taking the place of Oprah.  I find this woman fascinating!  She’s lived through the depression, and she looks terrific!  She has her own website, and her own book.  Maybe everyone but me knows about Clara, but if you are not familiar with her, take a few moments to watch her in action.  I think you’ll agree, she’s a treasure.

P.S. Thanks Garima for sharing!

Stay Cool,

Sadhvi

SADHVI

I wanted to share my secret to eternal youth this week, but I couldn’t think of one.  Then I thought I could let you in on how at the age of 53, I’ve invested wisely and am now retired, except that this is not the case.

So instead I’m going to share something that I think is pretty interesting.  I was looking at the data collected from GoogleAnalytics, a free service from Google that shows which key words people are punching into their search boxes, and how many of them there are.  What I discovered is that the majority of people using the web are trying to find their perfect mate!  Uh oh, wait!  I think that also includes porn sites.  Geez.  I shouldn’t be surprised, since just about all of my single friends use online dating these days.  I even have friends who tell me, “I’ve got to find time to get on Match.com!”.

If only they realized that their type of “Mr. Right” is not anywhere but between the pages of a book.  Because having been in a relationship for over 25 years with the same partner, I can attest that it ain’t like what these single friends are yearning for.  It is not necessarily bad, it just isn’t romance every day!

MR. RIGHT THERE ALL ALONG

If I were looking, I definitely wouldn’t look for a potential relationship online!  They pick the picture themselves and they write things that make them appear like they are auctioning themselves off on the block!

If I were looking for love, I would join a tango class, or a bowling league, or maybe just go the library and get some Harlequin romance novels and drift away in a comfortable chair.  Or just order online at my favorite book site: Better World Books.  A much better company than Amazon to support, by the way.

Here’s a quote from a summer read that I recently picked up (no pun intended).  Let me know if you agree with me that reading about romance might be better than an actual relationship.  It’s cheaper. There is no compromise.  When your heart gets broken, vicariously of course, it will be better by the end of the book.

Enjoy!

Sadhvi

OH MORNING GLORY!

My husband’s iPhone flashed an alert last night while we were sitting on the front porch, cooling off from a hot work day, drinking a beer.  Some sort of App that he has that sends reports when they come in, no doubt.  That alert said that a chunk of the sun had spewed out into space, and that some of it was going to be hitting the earth and cause possible electromagnetic disturbances.  Maybe today.  And nothing more about when, where, or what that will mean.  I don’t have an iPhone, and I don’t watch Fox news or any TV, so I wouldn’t have known.  Hmmm, maybe it IS better to not know about everything, cuz I was wondering about that all day.

Even if I don’t want to know about “THE BIZARRE INTENSE NEWS OF THE MOMENT”, I keep hearing about it.  There’s something or someone telling you the latest thing that JUST happened, or is about to happen, that is kind of mind blowing.  I mean, really, an electromagnetic storm?  What does that mean???

So when I  stumble upon things that I find quite amazing, to keep the balance, I like to share them.

This week’s “finding the balance” share is Eric Whitacre‘s most amazing project with a virtual choir.

So do yourself a favor: click below and bliss out,

xxx

Sadhvi

SADHVI

I think that because life is so absurd these days, I am coming to a place inside myself where I feel at peace with it.  Funny, huh?  You too?

In spite of this, I can’t help but notice an occasional “odd thing” popping up on my radar every now and again.  Like how the media has just about dropped any news coverage of the nuclear meltdown(s) in Japan.  Like it never happened.  Oh I know, I mean really, why worry us, the masses, about something that is out of control, right?  It’s just that, oh, never mind…I will just not think about those kind of things.

Something funny that I saw and wanted to pass along…The Secret was a big thing a few years back, and there are people that I bump into who just “discovered” it and can’t believe how amazing it is today.

Like attracts like and it’s really as easy as that!  Just wish for a new car, or even a check in the mail for a million dollars, and it will appear.  I mean, it was all there in the book and you could even see people just like me and you who experienced it: OMG!  Many, many people spent money and made the people who came up with this incredible idea very rich.  Well, it’s no secret that the founders fought and sued each other over who would get all that money and no longer talk to each other.

Here’s a funny clip that made me laugh, from the Austrailain TV comedy satire show,  “The Chaser’s War on Everything” that makes fun of “The Secret”:

Whatever your space these days, I do hope you feel more optimistic than pessimistic, and remember…during these intense times, try to do what one of my favorite new illustrator’s, Katie Daisy, says to do:

I'm so challenged

I spent the last two weeks at home with a terrible case of bronchitis.   Too sick and contagious to work, I vegged out on the couch and spent my time watching daytime T.V.  Now that’s an experience, especially for us baby boomers.

Really!

I watched the last episodes of the Oprah Winfrey Show, lots of Dr. Oz (both shows are great for women over 50); morning talk shows; afternoon talk shows; The Lifetime Channel; The Classic Movie Channel; and of course all the commercials – and there are many.  All this shows led me to the discovery that our country is obsessed with challenges.  Why? I ask.  Isn’t living life itself challenging enough?  Why do we have to break it down?  Give it a name? The media is so good at seducing us with “challenges” and the products we need to overcome them.  Here are some of the tempting challenges even I contemplated while lying on the couch.

• The weight loss challenge (by far the most numerous) I was particularly drawn to the Dr. Oz challenge to reboot your body in just two weeks!  He also has the ultimate anti-ageing challenge, and the sleep challenge, too.
• Jillian Michaels fitness challenge
• Dr.Phil’s family weight loss challenge
• Here’s one I like, it’s twofold: anti-ageing and it will give you a new career while going to Botox school:
• Suze Orman has the ultimate financial challenge, plus  mini ones where you can save $100/mo:
• The teeth whitening challenge sponsored by Arm and Hammer:

Well, here’s my response to all this.  Really people?  Just take an anti-depressant and get on with it.

Here's a Dare!

Jane

This week I had a very disturbing experience:  I was offered a senior citizen discount at my grocery store!  I’ve never been offered this kind of discount before—anywhere—so it totally flummoxed me.  It didn’t help that the store had a cutesy little name for it, so when the clerk asked me if I had forgotten about their “wisdom discount,” all I could manage was a confused look.  Then it sank in:  she was offering me the discount for people 60 and older!

I almost blew up at the clerk—at her audacity in thinking I could be that old—until I realized that I’m only three years away from the “wisdom discount”.  And that’s when I really got depressed.

I didn’t want to get depressed, but that’s what happened.  I simply could not fathom that I could possibly look 60 to a 21- year-old.  How was that possible?  I’m way younger than that.  After all, I’m only 57!  Besides, I’ve always been the youngest one in my family, so how could I ever look 60?  60 is an age where you look grown up and mature.  Help! I don’t feel that way yet!

Besides, I’ve lost all that weight!  I thought I was looking young and beautiful and very far from 60!  I managed to get over the whole incident by telling myself that one, ridiculous clerk is just so young that she doesn’t have a clue about anyone’s age.  To her, a 40-year-old probably looks 60, I muttered under my breath.

Then it happened again—in a different store, with a different clerk—a very polite 40-year-old man, who asked me if I was “eligible for our senior discount?”.

Maybe with all the stress of this year, I’ve aged.  Maybe getting thinner has actually made me look older.  Who knows?  Maybe the problem is that I am, in fact, pretty darn close to 60, so I might as well get used to the sound of that number.

Whatever! All I can say is, I’m not ready for it yet.  I’ll adjust, eventually, when 60 rolls around.  I’ll be a very happy 60-year-old.  But until then,  I’ve got 3 more years, so I plan to celebrate the fact that I am still in my fifties.  And to hell with any young whippersnapper who thinks differently!  They can take their wisdom discount and….

I’m far too mature to complete that sentence, but you get my drift!

SADHVI

Well, I almost stopped doing this blog since some of my friends seemed to be concerned about me after my last posts.  For those friends who don’t know it, I have a very quirky sense of humor.  I think it was developed from all those winters that I spent growing up in Cleveland, Ohio.  At any rate, I didn’t realize that ending a post with Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb” would give anyone cause for concern until I mentioned the weird reactions I was getting to a long-time friend who happens to be from Cleveland too.  She said she read my post, and as usual, simply enjoyed hearing from me.  However, she did say that having that Pink Floyd song might give someone the impression that I was drifting off into a suicidal binge – OMG!

I’ve been doing a post a week for the last couple of years, so if it sounds like I am going off into the deep end, in reality, I am not:  I am simply sharing something.  Consider these posts a little window into my reality, and simply enjoy.

There are just so many things that are in bloom right now.  I love my flowers, and I love how they photograph.

Here are a few that lit up my world this past week:

CORNFLOWER

AN ORIENTAL POPPY

CALIFORNIA POPPIES

PEONY

I also like to bake, and so here’s what I made this past week for my husband, who absolutely loves rhubarb.  This tart is made from the first batch of rhubarb from my garden.  And as usual, it was delicious!  I don’t even like rhubarb but I squealed when I my first taste of this.

SADHVI'S SWISS RHUBARB TART

I shared this secret and easy recipe for this before, so I have not re-posted it.  Just enter it in the search box at the top to get it from the archives.  It is timeless and always good.

What else?  I like to take our dog, Bello, for an evening walk on the trails nearby our house.  It is so quiet, and we usually don’t run into anyone, so it is especially nice.  I wanted to share a picture of the evening light that makes those walks magic for me.

THE LIGHT IN THE FOREST

So whatever your reality is, I invite you to share yours with me, or simply enjoy mine!

BEAUTIFUL SPRING FLOWER "WEEDS"

So much intensity these days, no?  Just about everyone I talk to is overwhelmed…oh oh oh what to do?  I actually sprained my ankle on Monday and had to take a few days off to get better.  I mean, I couldn’t walk!  But, it felt so good to STOP.  Hey, maybe next time I will just be able to take off and not have to have an “accident”?

There is thankfully, Spring which has sprung, which is looking more like Summer around my neck of the woods, but I won’t go into that right now.  This year it’s nothing short of a miracle to see the grass growing and the flowers opening in my garden.

"ATHENS CALYCANTHUS"

A friend named “Buddha” once told me that I had to get a plant that had the most amazing smell of fresh cut cantaloupe.  I had never heard of it until I read in a garden book about a type of sweet shrub or calycanthus called “Athens”.  I bought three baby plants, and put them in a spot that I was having difficulty in figuring out what to do with it.  The plants thrived and just the other day, I walked out on the front porch and smelled the most divine smell of fresh cut cantaloupe!  I ran to the side to these lime-yellow flowers and took a picture so you could see.  If it grows in your area, I highly recommend having one in your yard.

You might remember that I planted a lettuce bed last fall with a mix of the remaining seeds from different lettuces that I had in my collection.  I called it “Sadhvi’s Fall Mesclun Mix”.

LAST FALLS SALAD BED

I had lettuce just about until the New Year, when the 6th frost and the cold nights of winter pretty much did them in.  I didn’t dig up the wilted and dead looking plants like I usually do to clean up my beds for spring.  To my surprise, all those dead plants came back and now I have full heads of beautiful salad in abundance.  Something that I will remember for the future.

And also because I can’t do everything that my mind wants me to these days, it seems that some miracles happen on account of that, because having these strong, full heads of all my favorite lettuce is a real treat!

NEW SPRING SALAD BED

I also planted a new lettuce bed and will soon start to thin that out for salads.  Growing salad greens is quite possible the easiest thing you can do.  No skills required.  Just some seeds and some soil.  And no store bought salad can compare to that buttery taste of greeness that you get with ones from your backyard.

What else?  Oh. The first Oriental poppy opened this morning!  I had to take a picture to share because it is magnificent!  I love poppies, and there are so many waiting to open.  I can’t wait.  The sheer delight of not knowing what color or type is really a thrill that I also highly recommend to anyone who has some seed and some soil.

FIRST ORIENTAL POPPY!

The first bearded Iris made its Spring 2011 appearance a few days ago…this is the one that smells like Welch’s Grape Juice that is really intoxicating.

THE FIRST IRIS

I am feeling so much better thanks to Spring.  I hope you are enjoying nature wherever you happen to be in this crazy world!

SIGN OF THE TIMES

Since Oops50 is a site about and for women over 50, I have to tell you that I am usually not aware of how old I am.  That’s why I don’t write about menopause, aches and pains, hot flashes, sharing the best face cream to take years off my face, etc.  OK, once in a while I notice something new, like jowls, and I have to write about it, but really, I  don’t think there is anything to be done about it except to be aware of my mind freaking out at times, and just accepting what is.

When I first started to develop breasts and have a period, I didn’t think I could change it; I just accepted it and didn’t really dwell on it.  It was also a change, and it was kind of weird, just like menopause.

I could also share what I heard the latest date on Rapture is (I think it’s the end of May now), how I feel about the radiation levels all over the planet, or how the Oxford English Dictionary added a lot of new words and phrases, including OMG and LOL (which I thought meant “lots of love” and now know it means, “laughing out loud”!).

Instead, I’d like to share one of my favorite recipes that is easy and very delicious.  When you read it, it’s going to sound complicated, but believe me, it’s not!  And not only will you be glad you tried this recipe, but you will feel like a genius and your loved ones who eat these will also look at you in a better way.

SADHVI'S SWISS MANDELGIPFELI !

Now you could just go buy some frozen puff pastry dough from the supermarket, but when you make this just once, why would you waste gas, and money, to get something that is filled with junk that is poison for your body?

Sadhvi’s Swiss Almond “Gipfeli”* (croissant)

The recipe for the pastry dough:

2 cps. Flour (I use King Arthur’s All Purpose Organic White Flour)

3/4 t. Salt…put all this is a bowl and whisk to mix.

Take 1 stick + 1 T. cold Organic Butter (and not Land ‘o Lakes), cut in pieces, and by hand, blend it and squeeze it and think good thoughts while doing so.  Think of your loving grandma, think all good wishes, think that you are making this for all the hungry people in the world, and imagine that everyone that eats it will be filled with love and happiness, and that will spread all over the planet.

Add…1/2 cup = 1 T. Sour Cream, or Yogurt, or Quark, and mix quickly into a ball…don’t knead!

Flatten in a ball in a bowl and put it in the fridge for a half hour.

Take out of fridge and roll out on a floured surface into a rectangle, about a half inch thick.  Bring the 2 shortest sides to the middle, and brush off any flour with brush or hands.  Cover with a t-towel and let it rest in the fridge for a 1/2 hour.

Now roll out the dough so that the short ends are now the long sides, and take fold the ends so that the top short end is folded under and the bottom short end  is folded under the bottom in the opposite direction than the top.  It sounds complicated, but really, just follow the instuctions.

Put it in the fridge again, covered, for another 30 minutes.

Now you want to make the filling:

2 cups ground Almonds

4 T. Apricot Jam

4 T. Milk…mix all these in a bowl, and add the grated rind of…

1 Organic Lemon

Line a baking pan with some parchment paper.

Preheat over on middle rack to 425F.

Take the dough out and divide in half, and make 2 balls.  Roll out one on a floured surface into a circle. Take a knife and cut into 8 triangular pieces…like you are cutting a pizza.

Spoon about 1 T. of the Almond filling along the outer rim, and brush some Milk or beaten egg mixture along the edges.

Roll each triangle from the wide end to the tip, making sure to lay on baking sheet this tip side down.

Brush with Egg or Milk mixture before putting in over.

Bake for around 18 minutes.

While waiting, mix 3 T. Powdered Sugar and 1/2 t. Lemon Juice in a little coffee cup.

When the Swiss Almond “Gipfeli” or croissants come out of the oven, brush this  mixture on top.

Let cool, and…enjoy!

SADHVI

p.s. “Gipfeli” is a Swiss word for the top of a mountain!

Annice

Is it just me or is it because I live in NC where basketball is king that I’m overwhelmed with March Madness?  To be honest, I really don’t care about it.  There it is.  I’ve said it.  I’ve got enough madness in my life, thank you very much.

Another truth, I never even heard about it until I met my husband 16 years ago.  He loves college basketball, and all sports except NASCAR (thank God).  Come mid-March, Madness lives in our living room because we are not a home with multiple televisions, something I insisted on long ago.  That means whenever there is any kind of tournament  (World Series, Super Bowl, PGA Golf, Wimbledon, etc.) the T.V. is on and on and on until I try to convince my husband to go downstairs to his office to watch this Madness on his laptop.  Needless to say, he doesn’t enjoy that AT ALL.

When I can no longer endure the basketball game in our house, I politely hand over the Sennheiser wireless headphones (which I highly recommend)  to  my husband before muting the T.V.

Sennheiser Headphones

When I question him about all this basketball, he thinks I’m crazy.  “Everyone watches college basketball this time of the year,” he assures me.  Really?  I’m pretty sure most of my friends don’t watch it.  I’m sure if I had sons who played basketball I’d be more interested.  Don’t get me wrong, I admire, even envy the talents of super athletes and their victories.  Who doesn’t like to see their team triumph?  But two weeks of basketball?  So, I’m asking, how many of you are really into all that March Madness?

Gwendie

There’s a blog that’s getting lots of attention.  It’s called “postsecrets”  (http://www.postsecret.com).  People send in anonymous handmade postcards with a personal secret on the back.  Things like “I wish my life were exciting”, and “When you see me in public and I seem to be reading a book, I’m really eavesdropping on you”.  Some are darker, more intimate.  I’ve been thinking about sending in one myself.  One of the things that holds me back is that, unlike the postcard makers who get their submissions posted, I’m not the least little bit creative in the visual sense.  Check out the website to see what I mean.

But my secret, like most of the ones on the website, is one that possibly a lot of other people, especially women, share with me.  It is this: I don’t feel sorry for women whose husbands have died; I feel envious.

There, I’ve said it.  Another problem with this secret, unlike the ones on the website, is that it needs more explanation to make any sense.  And that won’t fit so easily on a postcard.

I have friends and relatives (sometimes these are the same people), men and women, whose marriage partner died, and they were devastated.  They grieved and cried and missed their mate fiercely.  They yearned to have him or her back.  Some of them really look forward to reuniting in heaven.  They feel awful, at least for awhile, sometimes for a long while.  But still I am envious.

Here’s why:  to feel that bad about the loss of a spouse, there must have been a lot of good things about the marriage.  Good times, good experiences, good feelings to be so acutely missed.  Even the good memories are bittersweet; they remind my friends of their depth of their loss.

I never had that.  So I am envious.

I would trade places in a heartbeat.

SADHVI'S SWISS LINZER TORTE

A lot has happened since I had that dream of Arianna Huffinton wanting me to be her friend on FaceBook.  The earthquake in Japan.  The Tsunami in Japan.  The Nuclear Nightmare in Japan.  Coming to terms with my heart opening and crying for what seemed like a long, long time.  People all around not really feeling it.  As if, since it didn’t happen here, and there is nothing to be done about it, well, Japan will recover.  Something feels broken to me and something feels more insane in the world.  I feel both scared and relaxed a lot of the time.  I  turned 53 last week, and I woke up to having jowls, just like all the women on my mother’s side of the family.

THE FIRST SPRING CROCUS

Spring has come.  And here where I live it feels already like summer.

I also made one of my favorite things to eat, something that I have not made for maybe 20 years:  A Swiss Linzer Torte.  The recipe I want to share is exactly the same kind you would find in any Bakery in Switzerland, and boy, it is good.  Which made me happy, and made me feel like there is hope.

This recipe is easy and is truly divine.  Oh, I know that the metric is a drag, but only if you don’t have that manual metric scale that is very affordable and ever so easy to use like I have.  Don’t go to Amazon, Google it and shop someplace local, so that you can get it in person, Ok?  Because if you order it from Amazon, and it is broken, you will not be able to return it to Amazon, etc.  I am trying to spare you from having the nightmares that I have had with them on more than one occasion.  I try not to get anything on Amazon.  No customer service.  No, I mean, horrible customer service.  In fact, before I forget to tell you, if you like to buy books, go to Better World Books online.  They are a great company with great prices on new and used books, and they contribute money to promote literacy and help fund libraries.  Oh, and they have free shipping.  Thank you Tosh for sharing that site.  Ok, here is the recipe:  Here is to things getting better everywhere.

Sadhvi’s Swiss Linzer Torte

(preheat oven 400 F about half way through this recipe)

200 g. soft Butter (7 oz)

200 g. Sugar (7 oz)

2 Eggs

1 pinch Salt

1 t. Cinnamon

1 “tip-of-the-knife” bit of ground Cloves

1 T. Chocolate Powder, or the same of grated Dark Chocolate

200 g. ground Almonds (7 oz.)

250 g. Flour (a little less than 9 oz)

Butter for the 11 inch springform pan, or a tart pan

400 g. Raspberry Jam (14 oz.)

(I used a couple of spoons of some Red Currant Jam that I had too)

1 egg, beaten with a fork, to paint over the top of the crust

a.) Mix the Butter and the Sugar in a bowl.  Add the Eggs, Salt, Spices, Chocolate Powder and ground Almonds

b.) Sift the Flour into the mix and quickly make into a dough ball.  Put in the fridge for 30 minutes.

c.) Divide the dough ball into 4 parts.  Take 2 and roll them out and put in the bottom of your pan.  With the 3rd part, roll it out, length-wise about finger thick, and place around the edge of the pan.

d.) Spread the jam on the bottom

e.) Roll out the last portion of the dough out onto some parchment paper, oh about 1/16th of an inch, and put in the fridge until it’s firm

f.) Cut the dough into finger-wide strips (or hearts!) and put them on top, making sure they are firmly put on the edges.

g.) With the mixed egg, take a brush and  “paint” over the top of the dough

h.)  Bake for 30 – 40 minutes

It gets better as it gets older, but I seriously doubt that it will last more than a couple of hours, er, I mean days!

Enjoy!

Dear Johanna,

My husband is on Oxycotin for pain, following surgery on his back.  I don’t know if it’s the drugs or him, but he is driving me crazy.  I have been busting my butt cooking for him and preparing restaurant-quality meals, and here is a typical response:  “Boy, this shrimp is tough.  What did you do to it?”  Or, in response to fresh collard greens, sautéed in olive oil, garlic, and ginger:  “These collard greens are chewy!”  I’m trying to be loving and understanding and, since he’s totally immobilized, I’ve stopped myself short of screaming, “Why don’t you cook for yourself or order out?!!!”—but my patience is wearing thin.  Am I being overly sensitive?

Frustrated in Phoenix

Dear Frustrated, I say get him a feeding tube and go dancin’!  Or, if that seems harsh, how about upping the dose of his oxycotin just one night and letting him drift happily into dreamland while you get yourself away from that kitchen?!

Dear Johanna,

My husband is starting another new business—for the 10^th time—and it is taken all of our resources.  We’ve used up all of our savings, and there is nothing left.  Yesterday, he said, “I wish I had an extra $3,000—I could really make this business into something.”  I held out my arms and said, “Here, take my last vein!  You want me to give plasma for money?” Tell me, Johanna, was I being too mean?  I want to be a supporting wife, but I have nothing left!

Vehement in Virginia

Dear Vehement, I’d say you’ve done well to have been so nice to him through 9 other ventures!  And, besides, I’m not big on being the perfect wife.  Whenever I try to be one, all I end up with is a giant knot in my stomach—which can only be untangled by a good, cathartic blow-up at my husband.  I recommend it!  It releases stress.  It clears the air.  It may even make you like him again.  Go for it!

Dear Johanna,

My husband insists that he is not hard of hearing and does not need a hearing aid, but every time he watches something on television, he turns up the volume so loud that I’m surprised the neighbors don’t come over to watch the game with him! What can I do?

Going Deaf in Detroit

Dear Deaf, Don’t even try to convince him that he’s deaf.  Just get him one of those wonderful sets of wireless headphones with adjustable volume.  Then, he can turn up his own volume, while you sit happily watching the t.v. at your own, comfortable level.  And, if the store clerk happens to mention that the headphones are tailor-made for deaf people, so be it!

Annice

I hope this is the last post I write about taking care of my husband and all my tsores (yiddish for troubles).  As expected, Len turned the corner from being in pain all the time and taking lots of drugs to moving about more, going up and down the stairs, and reducing his pain meds.

Better Days

Like him, Gus  also turned the corner so we are all doing better.   I’m even back at work part-time.  Being home-bound with Len has been a true learning experience, and, as a woman over 50, I feel liberated enough to say, I didn’t like it.  It made me feel isolated and anxious, and considering I am a 7 (Enthusiast) on the Enneagram that was tough.  By the way,  if you’re not familiar with the Enneagram personality profiles, check it out!  Seven’s are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous.  At their best, they focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied.  At their worst, well, let’s just say that nursing would not be good for a 7, as being patient often feels like being stuck.  Needless to say, I have work to do on that one.

.

Being home-bound has made me realize how much I like my work.  I’m not a workaholic, but I like my work and love the interaction with people.  Friends and family asked me what I did all day during the downtime.   Well, what kept me from going over the edge emotionally was getting on the yoga mat, reading wonderful novels, facebook, and re-visiting cookbooks.  I’ve been preparing 3 square meals daily for almost 6 weeks, and I’ve never done that before.  I’m pretty much cooked out!  Last night I made an “Indian Samosa Casserole” and a Green Bean Salad with Miso dressing, compliments of the  January issue of the Vegetarian Times. You can be sure with me back at to work part-time, the food fest is over.  Let the diet begin!

Last night's dinner

Ingredient List

Serves 6

Crust

• 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup whole-wheat pastry flour
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 2 Tbs. vegetable oil

Filling

• 1 Tbs. black or yellow mustard seeds
• 1 tsp. curry powder
• 1 tsp. ground ginger
• 1/2 tsp. ground cumin
• 1/8 tsp. red pepper flakes, optional
• 5 medium potatoes, peeled and quartered (1 1/4 lb.)
• 1 1/2 tsp. vegetable oil
• 1 medium onion, diced (1 cup)
• 1 medium carrot, diced (1/2 cup)
• 3 cloves garlic, minced (1 Tbs.)
• 1 cup frozen peas
• 1 cup low-sodium vegetable broth
• 2 tsp. agave nectar or sugar
• 2 Tbs. soy milk

To make Crust:

1. Preheat oven to 375°F.  Whisk together flours and salt in bowl.  Stir in oil until clumps form.  Add 6 to 10 Tbs. cold water, 1 Tbs. at a time, until dough holds together.  Shape into ball, cover with damp towel, and set aside.

To make Filling:

2. Stir together mustard seeds, curry, ginger, cumin, and red pepper flakes (if using) in bowl; set aside.

3. Cook potatoes in boiling salted water 15 minutes, or until tender.  Drain, return to pot, and mash, leaving small chunks.

4. Heat oil in skillet over medium heat.  Add onion, carrot, and garlic, and sauté 5 minutes, or until carrot is tender.  Move onion mixture to side of pan, and add mustard seed mixture in center.  Toast 30 seconds.  Stir in peas and broth.  Fold onion mixture into potato mixture; stir in agave nectar.  Season with salt and pepper, if desired.

Spread Filling in 9-inch pie pan. Set aside.

5. Roll out Crust dough to 11-inch circle on floured work surface.  Cover Filling with dough, pressing down to make sure no air pockets remain.  Trim away excess dough, and crimp edges with fingers.  Cut X in center to vent steam; brush with soy milk just before baking.  Place pie on baking sheet, and bake 40 to 50 minutes, or until crust is golden. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.

6. Frozen cooking instructions:  Preheat oven to 375°F. Place casserole on baking sheet, and bake 75 to 90 minutes, or until Filling bubbles and Crust is golden. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.

Nutritional Information

Per slice: Calories: 299, Protein: 7g, Total fat: 7g, Saturated fat: <1g, Carbs: 54g, Cholesterol: mg, Sodium: 469mg, Fiber: 7g, Sugars: 7g

SADHVI

I don’t have to tell you that there’s a lot going on these days – everyone knows. The price of gas went up about 40 cents this past week.  Genetically modified food will be introduced to our food system and it will not have to be labeled.  It’s getting more difficult to buy a house and keep one.  Food prices will continue to go up.  The US Government is going broke.  The bee population is rapidly dwindling.  A computer is now smarter than humans.  And as much as I try to keep it simple, avoiding the news, it just seems to be everywhere!

Huffington Post got bought out by AOL recently for something like $350 million.  It used to be my homepage, but since the AOL buyout, the picture of the latest newsworthy item stays the same for a day or even longer.  It’s almost like it’s broken now.  I found some site that has soothing beach music to replace it, but its like listening to elevator muzak playing, “Feeling Groovy”.  Don’t worry, I’ll get used to it.  I mean, this is the start of the Brave New World; I just need a little more time.

By the way, I am happy for Arianna Huffington, the site’s innovative founder.  She created something totally unique, and the site felt alive and captured the pulse of  worldwide news minute by minute.  In my opinion, she deserves every million that she got for it.  It’s just too bad that AOL couldn’t keep it alive for more than a twitter second.

ARIANNA HUFFINGTON

I had a dream the other night that Arianna “friended” me on FaceBook and asked me and the Oops50 girls to be part of a new site.  I told her we had a vision to create a new show called “The Other View”, and Arianna said, “Yes, that’s exactly my vision, too.”

Instead of talking about things that hold no interest for me or other women over 50, (which just so happens to be the biggest population of women on the planet) we talked about what we wanted to talk about, and everything we shared was acknowledged and appreciated.  And, we didn’t change as we got famous.  I still wore the same monochromatic clothes and black pants with an elastic waist, I did not start dyeing my hair, and I still wore the same Chanel lipstick that I have worn for years.

I am proud of our baby boomer generation of women over 50.  We were revolutionary in many ways: we went braless, we wore pants (!), blue jeans even!  We were into being ourselves, and that meant being free.  So why would we want to look or be anything other than who we are right now?  That’s what “The Other View” would be about. Hmmm…Arianna, look us up on Facebook ‘cuz we’d love to share the Other View with you!

To get into a mellow space, click below to take a trip back in time with Simon and Garfunkel…it’s the real thing and it’s time to feel groovy!

Jane

Just a quick post to bring to our attention a wonderful site for women over 50.  It’s called “Music After 50″ and it’s all about “people learning, and playing music in their 50′s, 60′s and beyond.”  Here is the link:  

http://www.musicafter50.com/

I highly recommend it to anyone who has 1) always wanted to learn to play the tuba but never had the time or nerve to learn 2) wishes they had not quit those piano lessons in college 3) wants to sing! 

The site offers articles such as “The Health Benefits of Playing an Instrument after 50,” “Starting an Instrument after 50,” “Finding a Music Teacher,”  “Returning to an Instrument,” etc.  And they have an online store for instructional DVD’s! 

I urge our readers to check it out!

And while I’m talking about music, visit Paradise Music (see the ad on our site), where you can buy all kinds of c.d.’s of inspirational music, including ones that help you through guided meditation, heal your pets with meditation, etc.  It’s also a great place to buy cards with c.d.’s of music enclosed–and it’s where you can get c.d.’s of natural sounds, such as wolf calls or rain or the ocean.  Check it out at Paradise Music!  Thanks.

Annice

I was first introduced to the writing of Nawal El Saadawi,  Egyptian doctor and  feminist, as early as 1980 when I was in college and reading all the feminist literature I could get my hands on.

Nawal El Saadawi

After reading one of her first books, The Hidden Face of Eve, Women in the Arab World,  I was captivated by El Saadawi’s disturbing account of religious and political oppression of women in her country as well as in the region.  It was through her writing that I first learned about female circumcision of young girls.  Living in exile for decades, she finally returned to Egypt.  I was thrilled to read an interview with her published Feb. 11^th, in The Root.  We wish Dr. El Saadawi well on her journey for liberation in her homeland.

A RARE MEDICAL CONDITION

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane.

The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, and then visibly shuddered for ten or fifteen seconds.

The man went back to reading his book.

A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently.

Although assuming the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering.  A few minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again.

As before she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, “I couldn’t help but notice that you have sneezed three times, wiped your nose, and then shuddered violently.  Are you okay?”

The woman replied, “I am sorry if I disturbed you.  I have a rare medical condition.  Whenever I sneeze, I have an orgasm.”

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious and asked, “I have never heard of that condition before.  Are you taking anything for it?”

The woman nodded and said, “Yes, black pepper”.

SADHVI

As a woman over 50, I am always looking for deals.  Ok, to tell you the truth, this has nothing to do with my body being over 50; I have always liked being a bargain hunter and finder!  And I am always into sharing.  So here’s the best place I have found to buy quality vitamins and herbs that will save you lots of money; it’s not in any store, it’s online at a site called Swanson Vitamins.

SAVING MONEY FOR A RAINY DAY!

I now buy vitamins twice a year from Swanson, and smile when I go to the health food store and look at the prices of the same vitamins there that cost a lot more money.  Do you have a better place to save money?  If so, please share because these days we are all into simplifying our lives and saving money!

THE BRIDGE

A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, God said, “Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”

The biker pulled over and said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.”

God replied, “Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take!  I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.  Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.”

The biker thought about it for a long time.

Finally, he said, “God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”

God replied, “You want 2 lanes or 4 lanes on that bridge?”

guest writer Kathryn Wilson

Following Kathryn’s story on Monday, we’re continuing with Part II of E., One Intrepid Senior

E. worked as a model in post-war Manhattan for the Elizabeth Arden Salon and lived in the famous Barbizon Hotel in the mid 1940’s. This glamorous part of her life led her to meet Gloria Vanderbilt, Marlene Dietrich, and her first husband, D.      

After marrying D. and living in New York and Cincinnati, E. returned to her hometown of Louisville after the death of D. to start Louisville’s first finishing school. Once the charm school was successful, E. moved on to pursue her true love—art.  She and two friends started Talents Unlimited, a company that sold art supplies, taught classes, and specialized in unique Christmas dioramas that E. designed and crafted.  These wreaths were hot ticket items, frequently requested and often selling for more than $300 a piece.  Each wreath was highly specialized, electric, and musical, and featured detailed Christmas scenes.  E. even had one of her more elaborate wreaths, modeled after the Kennedys’ last Christmas in the Blue Room, accepted by the Kennedy Memorial Library.  The wreaths have been showcased in museums and craft shows across the country, winning many awards.

Eloise's wreath

E. has traveled to many exotic locales, including Paris, Hong Kong, Haiti, and Thailand.  She has had many adventures abroad, including meeting Maria von Trapp and, in a separate instance, nearly being kidnapped.  E. and I spent an entire day viewing slides of these beautiful trips to near and far.  She will soon be leaving for her yearly sojourn to her condo in Highland Beach, where she will wait out the icy Kentucky winter in the peaceful warmth and light of Florida.

In short, E. has had an amazing life, one worthy of transcribing and well-deserving of the title she’s chosen: Yes, I’ve Had a Life.  She is an admirable woman who has made the most of her life.  I have found myself inspired continuously throughout the process.  Yes, I hope my life will be just as exciting as E.’s, but I also hope to never forget the importance of each person’s life story.  I know now that these small anecdotes are always worth observing more closely, no matter how high the pile of surrounding souvenirs may be.

Kathryn Wilson

Our friend, Kathryn Wilson is not one of us.  She is NOT a woman over 50,  but we want to introduce her to you anyway.    She lives in Louisville, Kentucky, and is currently enrolled in Pacific University’s M.F.A. in Fiction program.  She is an aspiring writer and editor.  She hopes to one day relocate to the Pacific Northwest with her boyfriend and two cats.

Kathryn is writing an autobiography of a beautiful woman 85 years old, so we’ve invited her to share part of her work with us.  So, sit back and read Part I of this lovely woman called E.

Eloise Then

For the past two months, I have been assisting a charming 85 year-old woman with the writing, formatting, and editing of her autobiography.  As you can imagine, this is no small task.  This lovely woman (let’s call her “E.”) is a somewhat disorganized and very busy woman with mountains of newspaper clippings, photographs, and other detritus that must be incorporated into her story in some way.

Why, you may ask, did I take on this arduous task?  There are two reasons.

First, I have always gotten along with elderly folk; I love their stories, their idiosyncrasies, their endearments, and free cookies, so getting paid to spend time with someone from my favorite demographic seemed too good to be true.  Secondly, I have always been inspired by my own grandmother’s stories of her life in the coal country of southern West Virginia.  My grandmother was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, so I have quickly learned the importance of recording memories.  I related to E.’s wish to record her life story for future generations.

E. is, on the surface, just as sweet and amicable as your own grandmother; she frequently calls me “honey” and shares delicious Modjeska candy.  But it was in working on E.’s story and delving into the details of her life, that I found she is so much more than a delightful, polite elderly woman who just happens to live in a condo with seven bathrooms.

E. has witnessed a great deal of tragedy in her life.  She married three times; her first husband, the love of her life and a famous radio and television personality, died in a car wreck after they had only been married nine years.  Her son contracted polio, but luckily survived.  Her second husband, who she was married to for over thirty years, died after a lengthy and painful illness.  E. lives now with her third husband, J.  They were married in their childhood church and just happened to be the oldest couple ever wedded in the chapel.

E.’s adventures were not limited to her love life, however.  To read more, stay tuned for Part II.

Eloise Now

SADHVI

As a women over 50, the time has come where all I crave is Artisana’s Raw Organic Coconut Butter and laughter.  Items that are newsworthy are so bizarre these days that to write about what feels important to pass along is absurd.  So this week, I thought I would share an old Johnny Carson skit that made me chuckle and feel good.  I hope it does the same for you – enjoy!

Annice

If you recall, over a year ago, I wrote about Gus, my 10 year old Chesapeake Bay Retriever.  We rescued him eight years ago, complete with a bullet underneath his belly.

Gus taking it easy

My post at that time was about how constipated he was and how putting him on prednisone turned him into the dog from hell.  Needless to say, it was a messy time for both of us.

Well, poor Gus is not only constipated again but it’s much worse: perianal fistulas.  When the vet gave me the diagnosis, I immediately went home to research it.  I already knew the condition was painful because poor Gus took forever to poop, and moan while doing it.  Besides the pain, there was the itching, and irritation of the skin surrounding the anus.  Worse still, the poor guy has the beginnings of small ulcers surrounding his anus (I’ll spare you the photos).  Since Gus can’t take prednisone, he has to take an immunosuppressive medication (cyclosporine) which costs almost $300 for a month’s supply, and that’s if I buy it in Canada.  The doctor doesn’t know how long he has to be on it, but Gus doesn’t care than it costs more than my car payment.  Oh, he’s also on an antibiotic, and Flagyl (prescribed for  anti-inflammatory bowel).  And don’t let me forget to mention, he’s also taking Tramadol for pain relief for the ACL (Anterior Cruciate Ligament) connecting the shin bone to the thigh bone.)

Gus at play

Good dog

Despite all that, Gus is still very athletic, eats like it’s his last meal, and scares anyone who comes to the door unannounced.  And most of all, he’s extremely affectionate and worth all my efforts.  Obama care for dogs?  That’s what I’m talking about!

Photograph by Michael & Patricia Fogden/Corbis

I was going to write to all of our women over 50 bloggers about the changes I want to make in 2011, and believe me, there are more than enough to fill a week’s worth of posts.  However, as I look back at 2010, what strikes me most (besides the most obvious news stories) is that 2010 was the year of the vampire. It was everywhere.  Why are people so fascinated with vampires?  Not me, I’m all about getting rid of all the life sucking forces around me, and not only in 2011 but  “Ad infinitum et ultra!”

In 2010 I felt bombarded with vampire stuff everywhere around me.  Bookstores, movies, television, recipes, and even phone apps.  Even our beloved Jane Eyre has been reduced to a spin-off:  Jane Slayre by Charlotte Bronte and Sherri Browning Erwin.  

This volume takes Brontë’s classic and turns the Reed family into vampires, and Jane Eyre’s classmates into zombies.

Vampire Cupcake

If you were reading this vampire classic late into the night, were you sipping on your Vampire Blood Drink recipe courtesy of Michael Chiarello from the food network?  Maybe you preferred to veg out in front of the T.V. this past year.  If so, did you indulge in a vampire cupcake from Baking Bites? And, while you were devouring the last of your vampire cupcake crumbs, I know you enjoyed the all-American supernatural series, The Vampire Diaries.  Or, did you prefer the big screen?  Were you one of the millions that saw, Eclipse, voted the best vampire movie of 2010?  Have you had enough of The Twilight Saga films based on the books by author Stephanie Meyer which have been translated in 38 different languages?  A footnote here, the series grossed over $1.7 billion.  

Smashed from your vampire drink, you might’ve cruised the web for Bite This!  A Vampire Books blog for everything you ever wanted to know about vampires but were afraid to ask, including Vampire Apps for your iPhone like Choice of the Vampire: a text-based game where the user can begin her two-hundred year journey as a vampire in New Orleans circa 1815 for only $1.99.        

When you’re bored with that, I invite you to the fine sounds of vampire music videos (I’ll spare you).

Needing a laugh?  Try a few vampire jokes.  You can use them on your trick-or-treater’s or save them for your grandchildren on Halloween.

Like this one:  How do vampires get around on Halloween night?  By blood vessels.

So, move over David Letterman, oops50.com presents:

Top Ten Signs You’re Ridding your Life of Vampires

1. You get a big anti-vampire tattoo on your neck
2. You breathe in fire every morning after meditation
3. You drink a Martini with extra olives every Saturday night
4. You scrape the dishes religiously every night before loading the dishwasher
5. You start reading the old testament from the last page to the first
6. You never  step in dog poop
7. You never keep empty change in your pocket
8. You brush your teeth with garlic paste, mix a little anchovy paste in there for extra precaution
9. You play Tiptoe Through the Tulips  by Tiny Tim while you’re drinking that Martini with extra olives
10. You post these on Facebook

ANNICE THE ARTIST

Being a woman over 50, it’s so nice to have the ability to feel like I am 5 years old just by painting.  I’ve always loved this inner child of mine; it is fresh, full of joy, and feels the closest to what I consider “the real me”.  So I felt lucky when my friend Annice told me she wanted to make her Holiday gifts this year, and wouldn’t it be a great idea to paint on glass bottles over at my house?  Yes!

SADHVI IS HAPPY!

It turns out that you are either someone who jumps into anything creative, or you are not.  Funny enough, the judgemental chatter of the mind of each is the same.  Annice is so full of life that I was surprised when she said she couldn’t paint.  Impossible!  Me on the other hand, I just love the process, and it doesn’t matter if it’s a masterpiece or not.  How wonderful it was to see Annice go beyond her mind’s judgments and create some pretty cool designs.  We listened to some good music, enjoyed yummy snacks, drank schnapps, and laughed a lot!  Time stopped for us that Sunday afternoon and it felt rejuvenating.  I hope you make the time for your inner child on a regular basis – it’s fun!

One of my favorite artist’s is Georgia O’Keefe, and this is one of my favorite quotes from her:

“I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life – and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.”
Georgia O’Keeffe

TA DA!

Annice

I don’t get it.  The economy is hurting, people are losing their homes, the shelters are begging for winter jackets and food for the homeless, and the Malls are packed.  How do I know this?  Every day, I pass the Mall on my way to and from work, and these days the parking lot is full.  So, tonight, I decided to stop by to see if people were actually Christmas shopping or just hanging out.

Serious Shoppers

And guess what?  Cha-ching, Cha-ching, Cha-ching – those cash registers were working overtime.   People were actually spending money and toting around the shopping bags to prove it.Plus, they were waiting in line at the Food Court for bad Mall food, bad Chinese, bad pizza, bad fries.

Bad Mall Food

Now, I don’t know about other women friends over 50, but this year I’m cutting back and making my gifts with my dear friend Sadhvi (if we can ever find the time to do it). This will not only enable me to save money, and feel crafty, but it will get me away from the dreaded shopping frenzy.  Please don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the holiday spirit as much as ya’ll – well, maybe not AS much since I’m Jewish and don’t really have to,  but what I want to know is where is everyone getting the money to shop, shop, shop and load up on bad Mall food?

Personally, if I didn’t feel so strongly about supporting the local business owners, I’d do more on-line shopping.  After all, it has its advantages.

Advantages to shopping on-line

Diane Puckett

Time really does go faster as we age. It has been a year since we moved to the mountains of Western North Carolina, but it seems like we just got here. The year has been quite a whirlwind of change.

Full Moon in DC

The biggest change – leaving the Washington, DC area, a place I had lived over half a century, (did I really say that?).  It’s my entire life. Though we had planned to move to Asheville for years, it was still a big deal, and happened far more quickly than anticipated. With a beautiful full moon and all the planets apparently in alignment, our house sold in two days.

Thus began the whirlwind. Three full moons later, we would move to the mountains, and there was much to do.

There were many people to say goodbye to, knowing I would never see most of them again. I closed the psychotherapy practice I had worked years to establish, bidding farewell to clients and colleagues. The local pottery studio, my hangout of kindred spirits was toughest to leave. Well, other than my sister, but that’s too tender to write about now.

We headed South on a cold December day, cars crammed full of stuff and our two beagles along for the ride. Not long after we arrived, a snowstorm followed, leaving us with no electricity and lots of tree damage. It was a tough winter, especially since we knew almost no one. Our holidays were non-existent, as we were busy moving.  The day I found myself strolling through Walmart for entertainment, I knew something had to change. Facebook provides an illusion of a social life, but it’s not reality. The North Carolina Center for Creative Retirement at UNCA was my lifeline during that long winter, feeding my brain and giving me a connection with other people.

Molly

Molly Beagle, my best bud for thirteen years, slowly wound down and passed on to the Rainbow Bridge. Our last day together was a sacred time – we cuddled up, and I talked to her about the good times we shared together.  At the end, I sang the Golden Girls theme song to her. I’m grateful Molly had some time here in our beautiful new place. We buried her next to my studio where she will have her own garden of the flowers she loved.

Diane's studio

Living here feels like I’ve finally come home. I love the spirit of this place, the creativity, the energy.  It’s been a year now, and I feel like I’m finding my niche. I’ve made good friends and know many of our neighbors.  I have an almost-finished pottery studio, a dream-come-true.

I’ve given in to my craving for a hammered dulcimer and have begun music lessons again after a 45-year hiatus. Maybe this time around I’ll practice.

Most of all, I love the magnificent mountains. I cannot even think of adequate words to describe them. May I never take them for granted or stop seeing them.

The Biltmore Inn

You all have been introduced to my dear friend Adele Rose, and on Nov. 24^th she turned 88.  I say that’s a cause for celebration in grandiose style.  Joined by our favorite yoga teacher and friend, Cindy Dollar from One Center Yoga, the three of us arrived promptly for tea at 4:00 p.m.

In the Library at the Inn

Seated in the Library of the Inn surrounded by magnificent views of the mountains, Amanda, our server, emerged to place white linen napkins on our lap – or a black linen napkin in my case  so I wouldn’t get white lint on my trousers – oh so civilized.  Then, our new BFF, Amanda, opened a wooden tea chest displaying samples of loose tea which we sniffed so that we could make the most important decision of the day, choosing the perfect tea.

Cindy and Adelle enjoying High Tea

Me, I was seduced by the Mayan Chocolate Truffle herbal tea, described as a place, “where chocolate chips mingle with chunks of chili and red pepper, and bits of apple and strawberry in this stimulating herbal infusion with a sweet finish.”  

This artisan tea from the Mighty Leaf Tea Company has turned me into a loyal customer, and as soon as I returned home I went online to see if I could order it.  Sure enough, I could order not only loose tea but silky tea  pouches (not bags) that are stitched with 100% unbleached cotton.  I see many boxes of Mayan Chocolate Truffle tea in my future!

Once we decided on our tea, we were served traditional English finger sandwiches, followed by petit fours consisting of  scones, lemon cranberry bread, tea pastries, and let’s not forget the lemon curd, strawberry jam,  and Devonshire cream so vital to our scones, and oh so civilized!

So, like Anna, the 7th Duchess of Bedford who is often credited as having invented the tradition of afternoon tea in the early 1840′s, we spent several hours sipping tea, dining on petits fours, and enjoying the magnificent view.  In honor of the Duchess who was keen on proper tea etiquette, we managed not to spill anything on the table cloth or ourselves.

Oh so civilized!

According to the Duchess,  to avoid spilling the hot liquid onto oneself, one must hold the tea cup with one’s fingers to the front and back of the handle with the pinkie held up to allow balance.  By the way, pinkie up does not mean straight up in the air, but slightly tilted.  And by all means, never loop your fingers through the handle, nor grasp the vessel bowl with the palm of your hand.  Should you be inclined to forget you manners, let me remind you, do not stir your tea with your tea spoon in sweeping circular motions.  Place your tea spoon at the six o’clock position and softly fold the liquid towards the twelve o’clock position two or three times.  And, never never leave your tea spoon in your tea cup.  It belongs on the right side of the tea saucer.  And of course, never wave or hold your tea cup in the air!  When not in use, place the tea cup back in the tea saucer, unless you are at a buffet tea, then, be sure to hold the tea saucer in your lap with your left hand and hold the tea cup in your right hand.  When not in use, place the tea cup back in the tea saucer and hold in your lap.  The only time a saucer is raised together with the teacup is when one is at a standing reception.  Ok, did you get all that?

Frankly, during tea, we didn’t think twice about the Duchess and her rules of proper tea etiquette, not even for a second, and to be sure, we had a hell of a good time.  I think Henry James said it best, “There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea.  ~ The Portrait of a Lady

      8.  I’m thankful that somebody at Duke invented Magic Mouthwash for the mysterious sores in my mouth.

9.  I’m thankful that the latest stray dog we have hasn’t gone into heat yet.

10.  I’m thankful that my collie who almost died this year is now healthy.

11.  I’m thankful that Obama, bless his heart, is president, even though nobody else in the country seems to be.

12.  I’m thankful for Lolo, my 85-year-old, extraordinary friend.

13.  I’m thankful when the dogs sleep past 7 in the morning.

Jane

As Thanksgiving approaches, I’ve been thinking of the things I have to be thankful for.  Sometimes it feels difficult to come up with a list, especially when times are hard, but writing them down helps.  Here’s ten of mine:

1)  I’m thankful that our dog, Tater, didn’t eat a) my new shoes or b) the cord to my son’s computer that was hanging so seductively in front of his face.

Tater

2)  I’m thankful that I’m managing to keep my weight off, despite having eaten my definition of deliciousness, i.e. Coffee-Heathbar ice cream made by Ultimate Ice Cream, the other night.

3)  It goes without saying:  I’m thankful for my children and my husband and my wonderful women friends (and the men friends, too) and our families, especially my great nieces (all 5 of them!).

4)  I’m thankful for every night that I make it through the night without waking up once.

5)  I’m thankful for Jon Stewart and Rachel Maddow.

6)  I’m thankful for SKYPE, my favorite new toy.

7)  I’m thankful that Otis Redding lived and recorded “I’ve Been Loving You Too Long.”

8)  I’m thankful for Obama in the White House.

9) I’m thankful for SPANX!

W. H. Auden

10) I’m thankful that my face, although wrinkled, does not look like W. H. Auden’s yet.

Annice

How far you would drive for a great AFFORDABLE haircut?  Would you drive 2.5 hours?  I confess, I did exactly that.  Included in that haircut was color to banish the gray, a few caramel-colored highlights that my sister says is needed to lighten up the face, and since I had to wait for the color anyway, I went ahead and had my eyebrows waxed.  So there, I drove 2.5 hours up and over the mountains (round-trip) from Asheville, NC to Unicoi, TN for a day of high maintenance.  On the way, I picked up my friend Betty in Marshall where we had breakfast  at Zuma’s before heading out to the Dragonfly Salon.

Me, Betty and Zuma's

“Why do it?, my husband asks.  “You’re crazy.  You mean to tell me there is not one hairdresser in all of Asheville who can cut your hair?”  Of course there is, but I don’t feel like paying two hundred dollars every time I need a cut and color.  You see, I was spoiled by Mari, who is not only a great haircutter and colorist, but does it very affordably.

The Infamous Dragonfly Salon in Unicoi, TN

Me and Mari - the process begins

When Mari first moved to Tennessee I told myself I would never drive to another state for a haircut.  That was before I spent two years in search of the perfect hairdresser, stopping women everywhere asking them who cut their hair and how much they paid.  I had no shame.  I want to tell you, no one has ever accused me of being cheap.   I completely support stylists getting as much as they can for their haircuts.  It’s just that I can’t pay those big city prices, and let’s not forget that the economy tanked and without any cost of living increase over the last three years, my salary has been going down instead of up.  And yes, I’m happy to have a job – no whining here.

So, after considerable introspection, I embarked on the Big C (the big compromise).  I opted to go local and accept a mediocre haircut and color at half the price.  That lasted for two years until my mediocre stylist turned what was supposed to be brown hair (with caramel highlights) totally blond.  I screamed.  I had no one to blame but myself.  Why did I tell her to leave her lazy husband who hadn’t worked for two years and forced her to pay the mortgage, the loan for his houseboat, and his kid’s vacation at Disneyland?   No doubt, my blond hair was  punishment for giving out free advice when not asked!

So that’s how I ended up driving 2.5 hours to Tennessee with my good friend Betty,  only to return to North Carolina at 4:00 in the afternoon, nicely coiffed and colored.  And in case you’re wondering why I  just don’t go gray, let me tell you, if the economy gets any worse, I will have to because I won’t be able to afford the gas.

Annice and Betty looking good!

Gwendie

I took one of those online tests today, you know the kind.  You go to a website (in this case, it’s www.realage.com, you can try it yourself).  Apparently it has been recommended by both Dr. Oz AND Oprah Winfrey, so it must be good, right?  You answer a whole bunch of questions about your health, habits, diet, fitness, and relationships.  Then they send you a “Personalized Real Age and Plan to Improve” (assuming that most of us are “older” than our real age, based on the kinds of good living questions included on the test.  NO ONE can truthfully answer them all “correctly.”)

Anyhow, I was pleased to be able to report that I ALWAYS wear seat belts, my parents stayed together until I was at least 18, I quit smoking 40 years ago and I don’t get secondhand smoke, I’ve had my pneumonia vaccine, I eat lots of fruits and veggies, and I do some moderate amount of exercise and a bunch of other good stuff, too.

Of course, I also have metastatic cancer, have a BMI over 28, take more than 5 prescription drugs, and don’t go to church once a week.  And those things must count for a BUNCH of bad points, because, ladies and gentlemen, RealAge has calculated, for my personal use and benefit, that while my actual age is 69.1 years, my REAL AGE is 91.6!

Yes, that’s right, ninety-one point six.  I’m as old as my neighbor Mr. Bradburn who still tills and plants a big garden every year and chops his own wood to heat his house.  And who, by the way, also mows my grass—for free.  So how bad can 92 be?  Well, bad, because he also suffers from all kinds of ailments, so can you imagine what his Real Age would be?

Boy, RealAge really knows how to encourage a gal.  My Real Age is 20+ years more than my chronological age, and the best they can do with suggestions for improvement is to lose weight, watch those drug interactions, and eat more complex carbohydrates!  Hot diggity dog.

Big help, they are.  And if I do all those things, I can bring my Real Age down to 85.  Yea!!!

I tell you one thing, I’m going to think twice before taking any more of those online questionnaires.  It’s just too depressing, and that’s not good for my health.  Although, come to think of it, I’m doing pretty darn well for a 92 year old!

Annice

Sending a Shout-Out to our beautiful women over 50 who’ve been asking about writing a post on the oops50.com blog.

We invite you (all women over 50) to share your stories and experiences with our readers.  We know there are tons of subjects you care about because we know, like us, you never tire of speaking your mind!  And, don’t forget to ask your mothers, sisters, cousins, friends, colleagues, etc.  We all have intriguing and important stories to tell.   We’ll take your article (not more than 250 words) and we’ll edit it, post it, and promote it.

Some of favorite categories are: Friendship,  Aging parents, Children/Grandchildren; Cooking; Gardening; Pets;  Relationships; Health and Wellness; Spirituality; Menopause; Sleep (or the lack of); Work; Retirement (I wish); Starting Over; Books; Films; and of course, if you are inspired, you can always write about Death and Taxes.

If you’re interested, please contact me at: Annice@oops50.com and I’ll send you our guidelines.

I’m all Ears

Jane

 Speaking as a woman over 50, raised in the days when Hollywood stars rarely used their fame or fortune to do more than an occasional political endorsement, I want to praise the work of people like Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Tom Hanks, and now, Denzel Washington.  As you will see from the article below, he saw a need and wrote a check to fill it!  I’m disappointed the media didn’t give it coverage equal to Lindsey Lohan’s latest mishap!  I’m particularly crazy about this article, since I was born at BAMC!

Remember this the next time you walk up to the ticket window of your local movie theater with $10 in your hand!

Denzel Washington and his family visited the troops at Brook Army Medical Center, in San Antonio, Texas, (BAMC) the other day. This is where soldiers who have been evacuated from Germany come to be hospitalized in the United States, especially burn victims.  There are buildings there called Fisher Houses.  The Fisher House is a hotel where soldiers’ families can stay, for little or no charge, while their soldier is staying in the hospital.  BAMC has quite a few of these houses on base, but as you can imagine, they’re almost filled most of the time. 

While Denzel Washington was visiting BAMC, he was given a tour of one of the Fisher Houses.  He asked how much one of them would cost to build, and he later sent in a sizeable donation toward one.

The soldiers overseas were amazed to hear this story and want to get the word out to the American public, because it warmed their hearts to hear it.

Interesting:   Denzel Washington’s patriotism doesn’t even make page 3 in the Metro section of any newspaper, except the local newspaper in San Antonio.

A true American and friend to all in uniform!

Sadhvi

I didn’t think I could fit in any fall planting this year in my garden.  I went back and forth quite a bit in my head until a couple of weeks ago, there was a moment out of time where I found myself cleaning up a few beds and amending the soil with some composted manure without much effort. 

Sadhvi's October White Zinnia

Sadhvi's Favorite Salads for Fall

Often, I will make a big thing out of something that really does not take much time…it just has to BE the right time, the right moment!  I watered the beds well, and waited a few days until I sprinkled a mixture of leftover lettuce seed packets over them.  I did want some collards and didn’t have any seed, so I bought a 6 pack of starts for $2.39, planted them, and well, that was easy!   

"Firecracker vine"

Sadhvi's Fall Garden 2

Sadhvi's Pink Zinnia in October

 ”That will be $9.40 please.”

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke…”
 
The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same…”

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change .

This becomes routine until the two enter again. “The usual?” asks the waitress.

“No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,” says the man.

“Same,” says the ostrich.
 
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $32.62.”

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.

“Excuse me, sir.  How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?”

 
“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp.

When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.  My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”

“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress, “Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”

“That’s right, whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.

The waitress asks, “What’s with the ostrich?”

The man sighs, pauses and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with a big bottom and long legs who agrees with everything I say” .

The moral of the story is: Be careful what you ask for!

Jane

I don’t normally get enthusiastic about music videos, but I love this one, so I thought I’d share it with our readers.  The group OK Go made this video in one take, using mostly rescue dogs!  And, best of all, they are donating a portion of the sales of the video to the ASPCA.  Check it out!  It’s great.

I started meditating in 1979 I guess, and have tried to find that space since then through love, laughter, friends, painting, gardening, and of course food.  I saw this little video of Puppetji and laughed…I hope you do too!

Sadhvi

OK, I know I am not the most up-to-date person when it comes to movies.  There are so many new ones that come out that even my most avid movie-going friends can’t remember complete titles anymore when they share the latest ones they just saw with me!  Or if they can remember, the names all sound alike.  Personally, I think that all the movie titles have been taken by now, and that the ones that come out are just a random mix of all the previous ones.  My husband watches a lot of movies, and usually, only good ones.  He said that I had to see “Gigantic”, and I liked it so much that I want to share it with you.  I know it came out in April of 2009, so please forgive me.  It’s all good and we are all one anyway, right?  I have a feeling that you haven’t seen this one though.  It has some of my favorite actors in it: Paul Dano, Zooey Deschanel and yes, John Goodman. I found it so refreshing!  Take a look at the trailer and if you get a chance, jot it down to see one day.  I think you will enjoy it!

Annice

Given all the fuss a post or two ago about Oprah looking for women obsessed with aging and beauty, I am happy to turn that page and introduce you to a beautiful and creative  woman over 50 who is far too busy creating cards and more for us women over 50 than being obsessed with aging.   Meet Diane English, a self-taught artist who owned a metaphysical book store in St. Augustine, Florida before moving to Asheville, NC 10 years ago.   After reading The Artist’s Way by Julie Cameron, Diane decided to follow her dream of combining art with her spiritual path allowing her to embark on the next phase of her life.  After visiting her in her studio and seeing many of her cool, cosmic characters, I’d say she is living her dream – minus the downtown condo she covets.

Diane at play, oops, I mean work.

Diane is the owner and creator of  The Great Cosmic Happy Ass Card Co, and if you’ve never received one of her cards, send yourself one.  Why not?  They’re inspiring, whimsical and just plain old kick-ass funny.  This is one of my favorites. This beautiful woman over 50 has aspired to achieve a higher consciousness along her journey, and not without some help from “years of deep meditation, medication, fasting, prayer and a few bottles of Merlot.”  Having had a subscription to her cards,  I knew I was in for a treat when we finally sat down in her lovely bright living room drinking coffee and nibbling scones.

Oops50: What made you finally decide to leave Florida and your bookstore, “Dream Street,” and go into the card business?

Diane: About once every 7 years, I did a painting, and one of them was titled, “Reach for Your Stars.” That became my first card, and it sold out in my bookstore.  Then, I made more cards and magnets, and soon those sales were accounting for 20% of my gross revenue.  That’s when the big box book stores moved in, and I took that as sign to make a change.

Oops50: Kind of like the movie, “You’ve Got Mail.”

Diane: You got it.

Oosp50: How did you come up with the business name, Great Cosmic Happy Ass Co. ?

Diane: I really wanted to use smart ass but I didn’t feel I could really do that.  So, my customers helped me pick the name.

Oops50:  So now I’m going to change the subject a little.  What’s your fondest childhood memory?

Diane: My grandfather carrying me on his shoulders while walking me to the zoo.  He was Irish and English, and we lived in Philly and walked everywhere.  When we got to the zoo, there was a blackbird in a cage at the entrance and he said, “Hi, I’m Joe.”

Oops50: What’s was the first record you bought? Diane: It’s a tie between Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto and Bill Haley and the Comets.

Oops50: Any advice for women over 50?

Diane: Well, I’m well over 50 – 68 in fact.  Don’t listen to anyone.  Follow your heart and do what you want to do.  Don’t be intimidated by the “should’s” in life.  Oh yeah, and keep your nose out of other people’s business.

Oops50:  Right.  I need to remember that.  So what turns you on?

Diane: A romantic dinner in an Italian restaurant, with Luciano Pavarotti singing in the background.

Oops50: So you like Italian?

Diane: I had an aunt who married an Italian, and I remember wonderful Italian dinners.  And I like to cook Italian food–outrageously delicious.

Oops50: What next?  Any new dreams?

Diane: A downtown condo with a large patio and a great view of the mountains of Western NC.  It should have a cable railing, a fireplace on the left side, a kitchen behind that, and a loft upstairs.  The light will be clean and beautiful.  And, don’t forget Rachmaninoff playing in the background.

Oops50: Any must have products you can’t live without?

Diane: My Netflix subscription and Roku, so I can download old movies.

Oops50: So what’s your favorite movie?

Diane: “Casablanca.”  And have you seen “Sunshine Cleaning?”  A very funny movie.

Oops50: So what’s Roku?

Diane: It’s great.  A little black box that lets you stream movies from Netflix.  It’s great.

Oops50: I’ll check it out.  Last question:  Any regrets so far?

Diane: Only that I didn’t know in my 20s what I know now.  And, that I don’t have the same body as I did in my 20’s.

Oops50: Who does?

I need to give a plug to my very famous canine niece, Winnie, who belongs to my sister-in-law, Ellen, and her husband, Bill.  Winnie was recently the featured dog in an article on the website Ohmidog! because of her amazing ability to open and shut the front door in her house.  You have to check out the article called “Old Dogs New Tricks Good Times” at www.ohmidog.com.  Here’s a picture of Winnie from the article, just to whet your appetite.   Turns out Ellen taught her the trick, using dog treats!  I wish that were possible with our delinquent (but lovable) dog, Tater.

Sadhvi

I listened to Bloomberg News on the radio while driving back from Cleveland this past weekend.  That was over 8 hours of pure fascination hearing the latest scandals, news, and interviews on the health of our nation’s economy.  I should tell you that I have never listened to this kind of news since I have been living on the edge my whole life, travelling a different path than what might be called “the norm”.   

Here is what I heard: there was talk the whole day about the big H-P (Hewlett Packard) scandal that not only ruined CEO Mark Hurd’s reputation (although the 28 million dollar severance package should help get him over the shame of the sexual harassment charges, and I heard he is actually negotiating for more!), but H-P’s stocks fell sharply. 

Then the 2nd quarter reports were in and would you believe Goldman Sachs broke a record in that for the first time in 3 years, there were 3 consecutive days of losses!!!   After hearing this over and over while driving through towns so depressed that they felt dead, what I suddenly realized was that not once did I hear what Goldman Sachs made in the other 87 days!  I have a feeling that it was just too obscene to report.  Ok, I just Googled it, and they only posted a profit of $613 million, or 78 cents a share, down from $3.43 billion.

The company reporting the most profit surprised me: it’s McDonald’s!  It seems they are hugely popular in Europe, and Japan, and then of course, the US of A, solely because of their “Dollar Meals”!  That means that more people are eating a meal for a dollar in America…is that a good thing?

There was a bit of news on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac being in trouble, and mabye even going under, but hey, didn’t they just get a huge amount of money a few months ago from the government to bail them out of something, and are they anyway not government owned?

 By now, if you are still reading this, you might be catching my drift…I cannot keep up!

So I think I will do something that makes me happy, like go disappear in my garden for a while and commune with the flowers and vegetables.  And the next time I take a road trip, I think I will stick with my own music mixes! 

Sadhvi's Mexican Torchflower

My friend, Kathy, is making her living these days as a freelance editor, and a new book that she developed and edited has just come out.  I’m particularly excited about it–and not just because Kathy is the editor.  It’s called Craft Hope:  Handmade Crafts for a Cause, and it is written by Jade Sims (a beautiful woman under 50!)  Here is how Kathy describes the book’s origins, in an article featured on the website of Lark Books, one of the premier publishers of craft books in this country  (to read the whole interview, click here):

A year and a half ago, I was tooling around on the Internet, half goofing off from my then-job as managing editor at Lark Crafts and half hunting for book ideas. I wanted to do a book that offered both beautiful craft projects and a way to make a difference in the world, but I couldn’t quite figure out how to do it. I googled “craft” and “charity,” probably for the 20^th time in months, and this time I landed on the recently launched Craft Hope site. As soon as I saw the Craft Hope logo, I knew I loved the aesthetics of Jade Sims, the site’s creator. Part way into her description of the first project—sewing pillowcase dresses and bandana shorts for a children’s shelter in Mexico—I knew I loved Craft Hope and had found my author. What I didn’t know was that I’d also find a friend.

Kathy

After looking over this wonderful book, I asked Kathy to let us feature it on the blog.  I also asked her to send us a description of the book in her own words. What follows is what Kathy, our featured beautiful woman over 50, sent me from her home in Charleston, South Carolina. 

The book, she says, “tells about crafters using their passion to help those in need. Part of the movement of crafts online has been the tremendous number of people sharing their love of crafts through personal blogs. Jade Sims was one such crafting/blogging mother in Austin, Texas. After a few years of successfully blogging, she began to wonder if she could find more meaning from this mix of craft and community, so she launched Craft Hope, an organization that combines love of crafting with a desire to help others. Her first project,” (the pillowcase dress project described above), “brought a surprisingly large response. Her next project, handmade cloth dolls for an orphanage in Nicaragua, resulted in over 400 dolls sent in from all over the world. In July, she shipped 2,614 handmade blankets, booties, and beanies to infants in orphanages in India. These items were sent to Craft Hope from crafters in the United States, Canada, Switzerland, New Zealand, Australia, England, Scotland, Holland, and Malaysia. Crafters in more than 100 countries now follow the Craft Hope site, and the audience just keeps growing with each project.

The book Craft Hope presents photos, instructions, and templates for 30+ craft projects by top designers, each matched with a specific charity and with alternative suggestions for local places to contribute the item. It also highlights the charities that are being helped through Craft Hope.com. There’s information on how to give locally, how to give thoughtfully (making sure items are appropriate and useful), and how to empower those you are helping. One dollar from the sale of each book will go to Global Impact, an organization representing more than 50 leading U.S.-based international charities.” 

So, to all our crafters out there, can you think of a better way to spend your time than working on some of the following projects to help  Jade Sims with her important work?

• Pillowcase dresses for girls in a shelter in Mexico
• Cheerful quilts for homeless children
• Soft dolls for orphans in Nicaragua
• Patchwork Pillows for families in transition
• Sock monkeys for children in African communities affected by HIV/AIDS
• Knit scarves for teens who have aged out of foster care
• Soft puppies for children convalescing from cancer treatment
• Art Kits for children undergoing heart surgery in Iraq

By the way, here’s what the book looks like:

 You can purchase it on the website for Barnes and Noble.

Jane

I need to rant today!  All four of our kids are home this summer.  All four of our kids are teenagers–or close enough for government work!  The youngest is 14, the oldest 23.  Here’s the deal:  they are all in transitional stages.  One is finishing up college by going to summer school.  One is doing a gap year from college and getting ready to embark on an adventure in Mexico.  One is starting college in the fall.  One is starting high school in the fall.  So all 4 of them are in an antsy, restless stage, wondering if their new life will be ok, wondering if they’ll be content and happy, wondering, off and on,  how they can stand to live with their parents without shooting them in their sleep!  It’s a lot of fun.  They go back and forth between unbelievable sweetness–the kind that brings tears to your eyes–and complete irritability with everything parental. 

Mostly, since they all 4 see their freedom coming to an end in the fall, they are determined to take full advantage of it now–and I mean full advantage, in the way that only teenagers can.  They want every hour of every day to be filled with interesting activity.  So they stay up as long as possible every night and sleep all hours of the day, while working whenever they can fit it in (my son, for instance, has a job that starts at 9 p.m. and goes until 4 a.m.!) and trying to see all their friends as often as possible (when they are not facebooking them or texting them). 

One of the results of this restless, live-for-today behavior is that we never know ahead of time  1) how many mouths will need to be fed at the dinner table 2) where each of them will be spending the night (except for our 14-year-old, thank goodness!) 3) when/if they will get their respective forms filled out for their respective financial aid, job applications, applications to programs, etc. and 4) if we can survive on sleep deprivation caused by loud, raucous laughter at 4 a.m. in the downstairs guest bedroom (on the good nights, when they bring their friends to sleep at our house).   Mostly, I’m turning into a crazy woman who thinks it’s 6 a.m. when it’s 2 and yells down the stairs at a room full of kids:  “Everyone go to bed NOW!” Don’t get me wrong.  I wouldn’t change a thing about my 4 kids.  They are loving, open, generous, funny, smart, hardworking (when they have to be) people, and we’re very proud of them.  And part of the problem is that I am a crazy, neurotic mother who cannot sleep without knowing that each one of them is safe in his/her respective location.  I don’t have this problem when they are away at college.  I sleep like a baby (that is, until the phone rings at 2 a.m. because one of them has had some kind of crisis).  I don’t know why it is that when they are home with us for the summer, I have to know they are safe inside a house somewhere before I can drift off.  I guess it all boils down to this: I wish that I had started having kids when I was 10, so that I would be 33 now instead of 56 and could handle this phase of my life with more energy and a better sense of humor!  I think the answer is clear:  

Here’s what my husband and I decided last night (after five interruptions of our sleep that created a situation where we were wide awake at 4 a.m.): if there is a God, he/she must have created teenager behavior in order to make the empty nest syndrome easier to bear.

Annice

When Charlie Rose interviews someone, I watch and listen.  I guess that makes me a Charlie Rose groupie (I rely on Tivo to get my fill).  So, when he interviews Joan Rivers about the documentary, “A Piece of Work,” I go see it.  The film, by Ricki Stern and Annie Sundberg, spans the 40 year career of Ms. Rivers.  At 77 (she’s actually 75 in the film), we see a tough broad who is not afraid to bare all.  In fact, she thrives on it, needs it, like an addict.
Watch this great trailer:

I’m not exactly sure when I stopped liking Joan Rivers, but I’m guessing it was back in the late 80s with everyone else.  Falling from grace due to a series of professional and personal blows such as being blacklisted by Johnny Carson/NBC, and the 1987 suicide of her husband/manager, she struggled to find work in her beloved show biz.

The Young Joan Rivers

Circumstances and age seemed to have turned Ms. Rivers into a comic whose jokes seemed more like cruel jabs aimed to hurt the likes of  Liz Taylor and her battle with weight.  I find it very ironic for Joan to be hassling Liz when she was perpetually under the knife of her plastic surgeon re-figuring her face, and who knows what else.  I know it’s none of my business how many face lifts this Grande Dame of comedy endures but frankly, I think her face lifts turned me off when she started to look like a caricature of herself standing in Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum.

Now, here’s the big BUT – after seeing this film, and her journey back to glitz and glamour, I actually like Joan Rivers again!  She’s one smart woman who climbed her way back to legendary status selling her jewelry on QVC, and her red carpet attacks (with her daughter) on celebrity T.V.  And don’t forget her latest gig on Donald Trump’s reality show “The Celebrity Apprentice.”  No, I didn’t watch it but I was not surprised to learn that Ms. Rivers won the competition, which by the way, meant she had to beat out her own daughter, also on the show.  Needless to say, the mother and daughter relationship is strained.  Nothing new here abut mothers and daughters.

The many faces of the Queen of Comedy

In spite of her obsession to be a star and stay on top of her game, I couldn’t help but admire Joan Rivers.  Like I said before, she is one tough broad, and she’s not afraid to fight tooth and nail to keep her dream alive.  Aging gracefully?  Not her.  Aging any way she can is more like it.

Sadhvi

I am about to go on a road trip to visit my family in Cleveland, Ohio.  I am really looking forward to it because I like driving and I get to spend some real time with my husband.   And, I find it so relaxing driving through parts of this beautiful country that are not considered tourist areas…like West Virginia!  I also like to get those tin cans or glass jars of Starbucks coffee and drink them along the way. 

They taste good, and they give me a buzz, and hey, they can’t be that bad for you since it’s just coffee and water and some sugar, right? 

Well, I guess I was wrong, because it turns out that drinking one of those Starbucks Frappaccino’s is like eating a bunch of Nabisco’s Nilla Wafers.  Now I know why I am obese!!!  Seriously, click on the link below and take a look at this article from  Men’s Health that shows what the sugar equivalent is on mine and your favorite cold drinks: I am still in shock!

http://eatthis.menshealth.com/slide/worst-water?slideshow=184612#title

What USED to be my favorite coffee drink!

Jane

My daughter, Becky, turned 18 a couple months ago, and we surprised her with a paintball party with her girlfriends.  When 2 of the girls didn’t show up, my husband and I, being cheap and insane, decided to play.  This was our reasoning:  how bad could it be?  It’s a game that millions of people in America play every year and seem to enjoy!  It would be a bonding experience with our daughter, who is leaving for college soon!!

We should have known we were in trouble when they outfitted us in protective gear for our heads and chests and handed us our lethal-looking weapons.  Here we are, ready to go:

As soon as we were suited up, they told us about all the things that could go wrong–and all the various ways that we could get hurt–and made us sign a waiver.  Then they introduced us  to our “enemies”:  a team of six very muscular people in camoflage gear and make-up, with their own private paintball guns.  I should have backed off then–but, no.  I wanted to feel young and energetic in my new thinner state!  I wanted to show my daughter what a cool mom I could be!

They led us to the woods, where we were supposed to spread out, hide, and wait for the enemies to come after us.  They told us an important rule:  if we got hit by someone, we were to hold up our gun to show that we were dead, so that people would stop shooting at us.  My heart raced with excitement.  I felt the way I used to feel at the beginning of a good game of “Kick the Can.” 

That was the last moment of enjoyment for me.  I am here to report that I have never done anything quite so terrifying.  I have always been anti-war, in a vague, hippyish sort of easy-thinking way.  But after being stalked and shot at from point-blank range, I am now against war in a gut-level, fear/hatred/revulsion kind of way.  What do you know?  It turns out I don’t enjoy crawling and hiding behind trees and under bushes, in fear that someone is going to jump out from behind their own bush and shoot me.  And I really don’t like wandering by  mistake into a creek that is mostly mud and getting my feet stuck, with the sound of footsteps approaching, so that my heart starts racing, as I’m drenched in sweat, and the only thought I have is:  “Get me out of this creek and away from here NOW!”

Standing there in that creek, I forgot all the rules, so, I guess I really got into the game!  I saw an enemy approaching, and I knew I had to kill or be killed.  I simply failed to notice that he had his gun held up in surrender.  Charging up out of that creek, gun blazing, mud and sweat dripping, I fired and fired and fired at him, and every paint ball hit him square in the chest. I felt victorious!  I had hit someone before they hit me!  I was good at this game!  Then, through the rush of blood in my brain, I heard–and understood–the words he was screaming:  “Hey, whacko!  Stop shooting!  I was dead already, for God’s sake!” 

I played one more game after that.  And then I got shot in the head (by accident)–because I came out from my cover too soon, and one of my daughter’s friends shot me in the only place where I had no protective gear.  It hurt like hell.  That sent me right off the playing field, sobbing like a baby.  I was done! 

I don’t think I’ll ever play Paintball again, but it was definitely a good experience.  It gave me all kinds of insights into war–and myself–some of which I could do without!  In any case, here’s the group of girls, right in the thick of things:

And here I am, after leaving the field of battle, sitting happily on a bench with my other, saner daughter, who decided before the game started that she would rather sit it out in the heat and wait for us, no matter how long it took, than play any kind of game that involved idiots in camoflage, protective gear, and guns!

Sadhvi

I remember reading the book, Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert when it first came out in February 2007.  It was so good that I didn’t stop until I was done, and I continued talking like Ms. Gilbert for a few weeks after.  Then again, I also dressed and talked like Diane Keaton’s character in the Woody Allen movie,  ”Annie Hall” for a long time after seeing it.  I guess I’m just a wee bit impressionable, no?!   

I knew when I finished the book that it would be made into a Hollywood movie at some point, and sure enough, Julia Roberts bought the rights shortly after it came out.  She stars in the movie that is coming to the screens next month.  So if you have NOT read the book, DO!  The book is gonna be hard to beat.   

Here’s the trailer, take a look, and hopefully, we will all enjoy a good film this summer taken from a great book!

Sadhvi

It’s the 4th of July tomorrow, so before the summer is over, I want to share some pictures of the poppies that came up this spring in my garden.  I think I might have one or two that are blooming right now, but most are gone.  I’ve seen a couple of birds eating the seeds out of the pods, which helps the seeds to spread.   I always save some seeds to give to others…there is always more than enough poppy seeds to go around!

I picked my favorite pictures so I hope you enjoy them.  For me, having some joy in my life is important.  I don’t think I would be still around at 52 if I didn’t!  So I have planted my garden only with the flowers that make me happy.  It’s one of the main reasons that I love living in Western North Carolina.  It has such a long growing season.  Oh, one of the best sources of poppy seeds to plant is the online store onestoppoppyshoppe.  Seriously, this is the place to go and get you some poppy seeds!  They have an amazing selection…just looking through their online store is a simple delight!

So, on with the show…it really was a spectacular season of poppies! 

Pink Poppy

Purple Poppy

Watermelon Poppy

  

White Mauve Poppy

Red Orange Oriental Poppy

Double Red Poppies

 

 

Poppy close up

Oriental Poppies Group Shot

Poppy and Calendula

Sadhvi

I know this one has been around for a while, but, I love to watch this ad for Evian. And since it is so damned hot where I live, I can’t help but think this is going to be how I dress when I have to go out. I think diapers with a little t-shirt might be the only way I can survive this heat wave if it continues!

Annice

For Father’s Day, I asked my friend, Judy King-Calnek to share some of her memories about her father, who was one of the few African Americans to go to Harvard University in 1941.  Toward the end of her piece, you will find a link detailing his experience at Harvard told by the Boston Globe entitled, Southern Discomfort: With quiet grace, two black men change the heart of Harvard in 1941.   

While driving down the FDR Drive in Manhattan, I was still savoring the excitement of Brazil’s first victory in the World Cup, which I had watched and celebrated with friends in a cute little Brazilian bistro in Brooklyn that could’ve easily been in Copacabana.  I was on my way to work that morning, and even though it was only 7:45 a.m., the sun was shining brightly and it was so warm that I drove with my car windows and sunroof wide open, not to mention the radio cranked up.  

Dr. Judith King-Calnek

As I surfed the pre-selected buttons to find some music, preferably something I could sing along to as it was one of those kind of days, I was grabbed by a voice I had known since my childhood growing up in Cleveland.  It was Louis Armstrong on his tribute album to Fats Waller, singing “All That Meat and No Potatoes” – one of my father’s favorites.  I sang along at the top of my lungs, not like the 50 year old teacher getting ready to talk to her anthropology students as they prepare for a summer of fieldwork, but like the little girl who used to dance frenetically about the living room, with no clue of the double entendre of the lyrics, laughing as my father laughed at my glee and excitement when Satchmo wailed, and Daddy and I both sang out, “Give that food to the alligators!”.

That song and my experience to it, made me think about how much I missed my father, but it also made me happy because for that moment I really was four years old again and my father was about to pick me up and tickle me.  Immediately, I’d laugh and laugh some more and he’d call me his “little sugar-pie” just as Louis Armstrong began to blow his trumpet. 

As a little girl, I felt safe and protected by my father.  He’d always tell me that he was going to bring the sunshine to me when he’d join my mother and me vacationing on Nantucket.  I knew he wasn’t magic, but the strange thing was, we could be having cloudy, foggy weather, and as soon as he’d get to the island, usually in August, our birthday month, the sky would clear up and the sun would come out – just like he promised.                                        

Family House on Nantucket

As I moved into adolescence, my relationship with my father became strained by typical things like teenage rebelliousness.  Soon, I was no longer his cute “little sugar-pie”.  Then, one summer, as a teenager, I began to see a different side of my father.  Being the youngest of four children, I was the last to go through the family rite of passage - working in my father’s office for a few weeks every summer, I found it  hard to call him “Dr. King.”  I remember being surprised when his secretary told me how proud he was of my siblings and me and how much he talked about us.  We had no idea!  In those days he was very stern with us.  That summer, I was not only able to see just my father at work in his medical practice, but a man of great compassion who was profoundly respected by his patients and so many others.   

Okay, it sounds like I’m idolizing my father, and I suppose that many daughters feel that way.  It’s not that I didn’t see his warts and character flaws.  I did.  In fact, that’s what I focused on for many years, but now that I’m a parent of two boys, who will someday become fathers, I’m revisiting my memories of my father.  You see, after becoming a parent, I thought of him differently, and realized that not only did I love my father deeply, but I really liked him as a person.  

Dr. Drue King

  Unfortunately, it was not until his last few months, when my father was retired and in his 80s and had lost his physical mobility due to diabetic neuropathy, that I discovered yet another side of him.  I knew he had gone to the prestigious Boys Latin School in Boston and on to Harvard before World War II, at a time when the term “affirmative action” wasn’t even a twinkle in the eye of a legislator or admissions officer.  In fact, it would be more apt to describe that era as one of “negative action”.  Yet, he had leapt and labored over many of the racially defined hurdles of the era as did countless nameless African American men and women of the first half of the twentieth century.  But because it was Harvard, my father’s story carried certain connotations, or at least more attention than perhaps some others.  

Now, as an adult and as a parent, I realize we are usually hesitant to share certain stories with our children.  Obviously, we don’t readily tell them about the partying, exploits and abuses of young adulthood.  But there are other stories, too, the kind that our children (and other people) often consider remarkable.  It’s just that when we were living them, we didn’t see them as important.  I now understand why part of my father’s story remained with him for so long.  Firstly, he didn’t consider his actions remarkable or noteworthy; he felt he was doing what should be done.  Secondly, there was an element of shame or humiliation attached to efforts he made to move forward in his life. 

But thanks to one curious journalist, Ted Gup, who is now the Chair of the Department of Journalism at Emerson College, my father’s story came to be known through this article in the Boston Globe.  Apparently it moved the 21^st Century student body of Harvard as well as some staff and faculty members who saw fit to bestow on him the Harvard Foundation’s Humanitarian Award.  The University planned a celebration in his honor at which he was to receive the award, but he passed away just three short weeks prior to the date.  

My father died on April 1^st, 2004.  He was 84 years old.  The day he died the film “Big Fish”, a surrealistic story about a son trying to reconcile the truth about his father’s life before his death, was playing on TV.  I watched it over and over again and cried all day long thinking about my dad.  His was a very good life.  He did the things he wanted to, he achieved what he wanted to achieve; he had the family he wanted to have; enjoyed his grandchildren and even some great-grands.  The day before he died he told my sister he was tired, and then we knew we could let him go. 

My father and grandchildren

So today is Father’s Day and it’s okay that I can’t call him and tell him “Happy Father’s Day” because he is still so big and so present in my life.  But, I can reach for any one of those thousands of vivid memories and relive those My wish on Father’s Day is that my sons feel the same way about their parents as I feel about mine, and that their children feel the same.  I think my father gave me a wonderful gift, which I have a hard time naming, but I can certainly feel it when I recall so many of the lessons he bestowed on me.  So today on Father’s Day, I say “Thank you” to my father.  I think I’ll light a candle for him, download some Louis  Armstrong and sing and dance around my living room.

Jane

 Jean Boone Benfield decided in her early seventies to do something she had never done before:  to write a book.  Jean was born in Buncombe County, NC, and the book, Mountain Born, tells about her life growing up on a farm.  Her first inspiration for writing the book was noticing that a lot of the “mountain” expressions she’d heard during her growing-up years were disappearing before her eyes.  So, she decided to write them down.  She started taking notes on little pieces of paper and then in notebooks.  And then one day, her sister-in-law suggested that she put them in a book:  phrases like “soft as a pocket full of mice” or “pee out the fire and call the dogs”. 

 Jean’s first plan was to just make a permanent record of all that wonderful language, but one thing led to another, and the next thing you know, she was writing about her childhood and her parents and growing up poor in Western North Carolina and Asheville during World War II, and on and on.

Jean Boone Benfield

Jean’s book, which is self-published, is worth a read, not only if you have an interest in what it was like to grow up in the southern Appalachians of the forties and fifties but also if you like etymology or are interested in the history of Western North Carolina—or if you just like to add interesting phrases to your vocabulary, especially ones with homespun wisdom, such as “Flit like a butterfly from flower to flower and land on a pile of cow crap.”

I had lunch recently with Jean, and she told me about how she’s descended from Daniel Boone’s brother, Israel.  She also told me that another of her motivations for writing the book was being fed up with all the “silliness” that is in books about mountain ways or mountain language, such as the “hillbilly books” that you can buy at tourist stops on the highway.  She wanted to, whenever she could, show the history and derivation of the words or phrases she was quoting.  This adds another interesting layer to the book for students of language.  As Jean said, she had to do “a lot of old-fashioned research” for parts of the book.

The book is written in a homey style, as if someone is sitting in a rocking chair and talking to you.  And that’s just how Jean intended it.  She said she just “listened to a voice in (her) head” and wrote it down.  She finished the book when she got “good and tired of fiddin’ with it” and was “ready to let it go.”  Good advice for any writer!

One of the questions I asked Jean was to name one thing that her parents gave her that ended up being important to her.  She said they encouraged her to think for herself and not go with the herd.  As she said, they didn’t worry about giving her a “sense of self-worth” the way that parents focus on nowadays.  They just gave her the “sure knowledge that they were behind her,” no matter what. 

I’d say they succeeded.  Jean is definitely an independent thinker.  When she finished her book and realized she was going to have to do some work publicizing it, she joined Toastmasters, to get herself ready for the ordeal of public speaking.  Before she went to Toastmasters, she called up a speech professor at AB-Tech and asked for help in getting ready.  Jean takes life by the horns!

I encourage our readers to check out her book! You can purchase her book by writing to the author at mountainborn@bellsouth.net.

If you are in the Western North Carolina area, you can also meet her in person:   at Accent on Books in Asheville, on June 18^th, at 6 p.m. or at the Carolina Mountains Literary Festival in Burnsville on September 10 and 11, with info at www.cmlitfest.org.

Oh, this YouTube clip expains everything.

Take a look at how this horrible ecological disaster is being handled by BP executives, and the big chief, Kevin Costner.  I wonder if Obama finds any humor in that?!

Annette Dunlap is an independent scholar and author.  Her book,  Frank: The Story of Frances Folsom Cleveland, America’s Youngest First Lady, was published by SUNY Press in 2009.  She lives in North Carolina and is hard at work on her next book (because she’s not getting any younger).  She and her husband have four children, one grandchild and another one on the way.

My 50^th birthday occurred 10 months after my father died.  Those two milestone events – passing the half-century mark and losing a parent – starkly reminded me of my own mortality.  My new mantra was, “I’m not getting any younger.”  Writing a biography had been a dream ever since I was in elementary school, and it was now time to move from ‘dream deferred’ to ‘dream realized.’ My new mantra became, “I’m not getting any younger; so, if I’m serious about writing a book, I’d better get with it.”

The book I planned to get serious about was a biography of the nation’s youngest first lady, Frances Folsom Cleveland. I had begun researching Frances’ life in 1994-95, when I was a marketing professor at a small liberal arts college.  The school laid off all of its non-tenured faculty in 1995, and I went on to run a consulting business for the next six years and dabble in a career change or two. My 50^th birthday occurred at a time when I was in the throes of deciding what I was going to be “when I grow up” (read: I was unemployed).  For once, issues of impending mortality took precedence over how much money was in the bank account.

Two months after my 50^th birthday, (which, for the record, was five years ago), I attended a women’s writers’ conference at Salem College.  One of the break-out sessions I went to was entitled, “How to write a Book Proposal.”  An hour later, I had my game plan.  For over 10 years, I had written strategic plans for businesses as my business, and that, I had just learned, was all a book proposal was: define your target audience, describe how the book meets the demands of the target, tell how you’ll market the book, and show why you’re qualified to write it.

I dug out my research on Frances (there are certain benefits to being a pack rat), drafted my three sample chapters, wrote the book proposal, and sent the material to one of the agents who had been at the conference.  She contacted me within the week and suggested I consider a university press.  I took her advice, selected three possibilities, and had the proposal accepted by SUNY Press.

In retrospect, I think I did a better job of writing biography at the age of 50+ than I would have done had I written it in my 40s.  Being older gives me more perspective and a better framework within which to examine and handle the experiences of someone else’s life.  For example, Grover Cleveland, who was 27 years older than Frances, died when she was 39.  He left her with four children to rear on her own, and the youngest was only five years old.  At 40, I certainly could have understood the challenge of rearing children alone, having four of my own.  At 50, however, I could sense, even more, how demanding it had been, and I could also understand Frances’ line to a friend upon her re-marriage (at age 50), which went something like this: “I feel like an entirely new person.”

When we are fortunate enough to be healthy, there is a mental sharpness about being 50 that only comes with age and experience.  As I like to put it, we have somewhere to “hang our hat.”  In other words, our half-century’s worth of life experiences has given us a way to view and understand this crazy and unpredictable world we live in.  In writing biography, 50 years of living gave me an invaluable tool for developing insight into, and compassion for, another’s life experience.

Annette Dunlap and Lucinda Frailly, re-enacting Frances Folsom Cleveland at her wedding, at the National First Ladies Library, Canton, OH

The other day, I took time off from work to go to Chapel Hill to do some research at the Davis Library at UNC.  Jane had already asked me to write something for this blog, and I was thinking about it as I walked, lugging the stack of library books I needed to return, from the parking lot to the library – a distance of just under a mile.  I thought about the physical side of my research life.  To research Frances, I drove from central North Carolina to New Jersey in one day.  From there I drove to upstate New York.  To research my current book, a memoir, I’ve been on research trips to New York City and Washington, DC, walking to subway stations, catching trains, walking to libraries and archives, spending time in research.  My innumerable trips to Davis Library (both for the Frances book and my current research) inevitably mean borrowing books and carrying them between the library and the parking lot.  As I walked the campus on the lovely, sunny Thursday we just had, I marveled at my physical stamina, the ability to stroll at a rapid pace, the strength to carry a load of books.  I did not feel 55, and that is, in itself, a gift.

If there were one central observation I would want to make in this blogpost, it would be this: if you are fortunate enough to have the resources and the energy to pursue your dreams, do so.  Turning 50 was one of the most liberating events in my life.  The fulfillment of a life-long dream, publishing a biography, has been intensely gratifying.  If there’s a brass ring you’ve been eyeing, reach for it, because, as I am now very fond of saying, we are not getting any younger.

Readers:check out Annette’s blog at http://annettesobservations.blogspot.com/.

Annette Dunlap at Wells College, Frances Folsom Cleveland's alma mater, in Aurora, NY, with College President, Lisa Marsh Ryerson, and Karla Leybold-Taylor (in hat), dressed as Cleveland, next to a wedding portrait of the nation's youngest first lady.

Sadhvi

When I was growing up in the 60′s and 70′s, music was so much a part of my life.  I think this was true for us all.  There was the weekly countdown to the #1 song.  And everyone in our house listened to it.  There were weeks when The Beatles had a number one hit.  Then The Rolling Stones would take over.   Then The Beatles again.  There also seemed to be those that liked one group over the other.  Not me.  I loved them both.  The unusual  harmonies and lyrics of The Beatles made me feel good and slightly out-of-my-mind.  But then I got excited and turned on with the drum beat and guitar and the image of The Rolling Stones.  There was something so sexy about Mick Jagger; the way he moved and his clothes and his voice!

Here’s a new release (for me!), along with Lenny Kravitz. As I watched it I found myself asking, “Is Mick Jagger still Rockin’?”  I think the answer is yes.

A group of  40-year-old girlfriends discussed
where they should meet for dinner.  Finally,
they agreed to meet at the Ocean View
Restaurant, because the waiters  there were good
looking and had buff bodies.

10 years  later at 50-years-of-age, the group
once again discussed where they  should meet for
dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the
Ocean View  Restaurant, because the food there
was very good and the wine selection was  good
also.

10 years  later at 60-years-of-age, the group
once again discussed where they  should meet for
dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the
Ocean View  Restaurant, because they could eat
there in peace and quiet, and the  restaurant
had a beautiful view.

10 years  later at 70-years-of-age, the group
once again discussed where they  should meet for
dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the
Ocean View  Restaurant, because the restaurant
was wheel chair accessible and had an  ”early
bird special.”

10 years  later, at 80-years-of-age, the group
once again discussed where they  should meet for
dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the
Ocean View  Restaurant, because they had never
been there before

Sadhvi

Everyone I know is either taking yoga, doing yoga, training to become a yoga instuctor, or thinking about all of the above. Growing up there was only Jack Lalanne, so I think the trend is a good sign that we all want to feel good as we get older!
Here is a clip I found that shows my own personal workout that I do right along with the Ross Sisters. It looks a lot harder than it is. Try it yourself and see if you don’t start feeling a lot more flexible in no time!

Sadhvi

I went to visit my friend Judi last week.  After a hello and a hug, she started to tell me about this pair of shoes that she just bought.  The way she was acting, it was as if she had fallen in love with someone.  Great I said.  After years of seeing cute shoes that only go up to size 10 or 11 and that I will never be able to wear because I am a size 11.5 – 12, I no longer feel any jealousy.   Judi kept going on and on about these shoes that she just had to show me.  Hmmm, I was having a litte deja-vu experience.  Her excitement was the same as what Jane had when she wrote about falling in love with a pair of red Jambu shoes.  It turns out that Judi’s shoes were the exact same ones!  I must admit, my breath quickened a bit when I held these shoes in my own two hands.  They had flowers embedded in lucite in the arch and they looked so good.!

Jane and Judi's Jambu Red Shoes!

Judi’s friend was there, and said she had just walked 14 miles in San Fransciso in hers, another model, the Jambu Planet  and couldn’t believe how comfortable they were. 

Judi's friend's Jambu Planet Shoes

I started to walk out of the room slowly, which is my way of leaving a situation that I find uncomfortable.  Judi said that I could get them in a men’s style…surely.  Well, after googling them online, it turns out that they do not.  

I guess I will always long to have a pair of beautiful comfortable shoes.  So please, check these shoes out on my behalf.  Really, go ahead.  Get a pair and feel like you are in love.  It will make me happy that you are happy with your cool and very comfortable shoes!

Sadhvi

These are certainly interesting times we are living in, don’t you think?  I mean, with so many ways to connect, everyone I talk to is simply overwhelmed with “life”?   If the call is not lost, or they are in the middle of doing something, or their computer is down, or there is another call coming in, or I have to run, god forbid any daytime conversation can go a little deeper than actually hearing stress.  It is very apparent that everyone, even retired people I know, are about at their limit of what they can handle!  Oh, I forgot to mention the pressure to get the latest, or to upgrade.  My husband thinks that I should soon get the iPad, because it would be so good to be able to have it with me when I have clients with me while driving – geez louise!

Therefore, I think it is more important than ever to have something that makes one very happy, that is thrilling even, and does not cost a lot of money.  For me baking something from my garden satisfies that need.  And in the moment it is rhubarb time!

Sadhvi's Swiss Rhubarb Tart

I didn’t grow up eating rhubarb, but being with my Swiss husband has made me very aware that there are some people who consider it a divine comfort food.  Actually, my mom, who grew up in a small town in Pennsylvania, also swoons with the mere mention of the word too.  She told me that there was a patch of rhubarb growing in their yard, and they used to eat it raw with a bit of salt on it.  Well, it IS a vegetable she told me!  So when we moved into our home some 8 years ago, I made a point to plant some in our garden.

Sadhvi's Rhubarb Plant

They say that for the first year or so, you shouldn’t pick too much because the plant is getting established.  I went out a few days ago to pick, or rather, “twist”  the first batch, and I made a simple Swiss tart.  It was so delicious that I ate some and decided that I now love rhubarb!  My friend who is German told me that the first rhubarb, called  ”May Rhubarb”,  is the most tender and delicious, and he got weak in the knees just hearing me describe the tart!

Here is the recipe.  It’s easy.  Take a break from FaceBook, from email, from the routine of your day, and try it.  You’ll like it!

Sadhvi’s Swiss Rhubarb Tart

So many people have their own pie crust recipe that I say to go ahead and use it!  I have my own recipe that I use all the time, for savory and for sweet tarts and it is good, but so is yours.  I would say to make it yourself and not buy one pre-made though, because there is such a big difference!  And honestly, it takes just about the same amount of time  to make your own that it does to take one that is made with bad ingredients out of the freezer. I like to chop hazelnuts pretty fine and put them on the bottom.   Then take a fork and poke the crust.

At this point preheat the oven to 425 F and position the rack the second from the bottom.

Then wash and cut up the freshest rhubarb you can find, which is hopefully right out of your garden!  I spread the cut pieces over the crust.  Then sprinkle 3 T. of sugar or so over the rhubarb.  Now mix 1 cup of organic half-and-half with 2 fresh eggs, and  1 T. of pure vanilla extract, a pinch of salt.  Pour it over the tart.  Slide it into the oven and bake for about 20 minutes.  Take it out of the oven and sprinkle another couple of tablespoons of sugar over the top, and return it to the oven, but now on the second down from the top rack, and broil it for a few minutes.

Whip up some fresh organic cream, put it on top, and enjoy!