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    Archive for the ‘Entertainment’ Category


    Oops50: Farmer Nancy Shares a Pet Peeve

    Wednesday, February 1st, 2012

    NANCY

    I miss Andy Rooney, and, in tribute to him, I am going to air one of my pet peeves.  I’ve gotten so I read through the obituaries, partly for that feeling of having won a little lottery when I don’t see anyone’s name I know (so at this point, I still win a lot) and partly to read about strangers’ lives and marvel at the detail in some of them.  I have to admit that I also look to see mentions of a beloved pet left behind.  I do that with wedding announcements, too, and feel instantly connected when I see a pet in the picture with the happy couple.  I guess I should disclose that my dog “Pasha Bird” shared space with me in my college yearbook.

    But, back to obituaries!  Often I see a picture of a young person staring out at me, and I gasp to myself, thinking, “how sad,” but then, when reading on, I discover the person is actually way past 60.  It happened just today in the Chapel Hill News.

    Are we trying to say we are now forever young?  I don’t get it.  There was a flapper not long ago in the Raleigh paper, hair flattened down with tight curls, in a roaring twenties dress.  So, of course she was in her nineties.  Would any of our current acquaintances recognize us if we put our high school picture in our announcement?  Is it the families that do this?  Or do we, upon reaching a certain age, pick out our best shot from fifty years ago and designate it as our ‘parting’ shot?

    I can see that some people may just not have a more current picture, but in this digital day and age, I would think they would be in the minority.

    So, for heaven’s sake, anybody who doesn’t have a recent picture, please ask your grand kids to snap one of you, so we won’t have to move you through all three focal levels in our glasses to figure out even that we knew you!

    Now I’m going to look up Andy’s obit to see what his picture was like.  Here it is:

    ANDY ROONEY'S OBITUARY PHOTO

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    I Salute Pit Bulls and Parolees

    Monday, January 30th, 2012

    Annice

    For the last month, my Saturday night entertainment has been Animal Planet’s Pit bulls and Parolees. I am a devotee of this show that brings together an amazing cast of tattooed characters and critters. For starters, there is Tia Torres, a tough red-headed super hero mom over 50, who founded Villalobos Rescue Center(VRC) to save abused and abandoned pit bulls. With her on this journey are her family and a crew of ex-cons who work tirelessly caring for almost 200 pit bulls at their 10-acre facility.  It’s a story of wounded souls to the rescue, and I love it. No job is too difficult for this dedicated and tattooed team. I’ve seen them spend days out in the scorching desert waiting to capture and rescue one scared dog.

    Tia and friend

    This past week, I witnessed Tia and her crew trek out to Alabama (from CA) to help rebuild a dog rescue center that was destroyed by the tornado there. They conducted a memorial service for the twenty some dogs that were killed and at the very moment during the service when the name of each dog that perished during the tornado was being called out, the other dogs on the premise were howling as if they, too, heard the names and were saying good-bye. And don’t forget to keep a box of Kleenex close by…

    The drama is gripping. Not only does this amazing super hero, Tia, run the rescue for these four-legged friends but a rehabilitation program called Underdawgz for the parolees.  Tia believes both pit bull and parolee have been maligned and feared and both are in need of training and rehab, and Tia is committed to that — no matter how long it takes! I love her.

    Showing the Love

    But if you’re thinking about adopting one of these doggies, Tia doesn’t make it easy. She is is very strict about who adopts these animals because they are not for the bleeding hearts, and she wants everyone to know what they’re getting into. It takes commitment and hard work to own one of these rescues, but from what I’ve seen on the show, the reward is great.

     

    Second Attempt: Tequila Holiday Cake Recipe

    Wednesday, December 28th, 2011

    Annice

    This is one of my favorite recipe’s from my dear friend Va at Sheville.org.  I tried to make this Tequila Christmas Cake recipe for Chanukah again this year, but it didn’t work out so well.  So, I’m trying again for New Year’s Day.  Here goes:

     Ingredients 

    .

    1 cup sugar
    1 tsp. baking powder
    1 cup water
    1 tsp. salt
    1 cup brown sugar  Lemon juice
    4 large eggs
    Nuts
    1 bottle Jose Cuervo tequila
    2 cups dried fruit

    .

    Sample the tequila to check quality.  Take a large bowl; check the tequila again to be  sure it is of the highest quality.  Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer.

    Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.  Add 1 teaspoon of sugar.  Beat again.  At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK.  Try another cup just in case.

    Turn off the mixerer thingy.  Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck iin the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor.  Mix on the turner.  If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

    Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity.  Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.  Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon ice strain your nuts.  Add one table.  Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

    Greash the oven.  Turn the cake tin 360s and try not to fall over.  Don’t forget to beat off the turner.  Finally, throw the bowl through the window.  Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.

    Too Much Tequila

    Pahhpy New Gears!

    I Did A Really Stupid Thing

    Tuesday, December 6th, 2011

    Annice

    Oops.  I did a really stupid thing.  I was driving around doing errands on Saturday when I looked into the rear view mirror and saw how ghastly my hair looked.  I was in the middle of a hair emergency without an appointment.  I haven’t been happy with my stylist lately, and in fact I’ve been shopping around.  I’m tired of paying a lot, and not being satisfied.  All that to say, I ended up driving to the nearest cheap hair salon I spotted on the highway, and walked in.

    After all, aren’t all the stylists in those kind of places recent grads who know the latest techniques?  Aren’t they just working at these cheap places to get experience, build up a clientele, and move on?

    I walked in.  “Hi, can someone cut my hair now?”

    Behind the desk, the receptionist, sporting a great haircut, looked up.

    “Sure.  Give me your coat and take a seat.  I’ll get Terry (not her real name).”

    .

    Sitting in Terry’s chair, I looked around.  The place was dumpy, looking like the low-end salon it was.

    Out walks Terry smelling badly from cigarette smoke.  Her face was covered with deep wrinkles and when she smiled, she was missing a few teeth.  I won’t bother to detail the many different colors of her hair ranging from burnt orange to caramel.

    OMG.  I had a sick feeling in my stomach as I sat in Terry’s chair, a prisoner, held hostage by my own stupidity.  It was too late to turn back.

    I tried to imagine the best case scenario.  Maybe she was a recovering addict from NYC and came to the mountains to get her life back together.  She wouldn’t be the first.  Or maybe she was a super stylist from NYC.  Anything was possible.

    “Is that a natural curl?” she asked.

    “Yes, and I happen to have a photo of the cut I like in my wallet.”  I handed the photo to Terry.

    She looked at it for a second.

    “No problem.  I’m great with curly hair, been cutting hair in Asheville since 1994.  Raised four kids as a single mom cutting hair.”

    “Ever been to New York?”  I could only hope.

    “Never been out of Asheville.  Never had the desire.”

    “Never.  Not even for a visit?”

    MY NEW HAIRCUT

    “Nope.  I’m gonna  cut your hair dry.  It’s the best way to cut curly hair.”

    I knew that was a fair statement and such technique existed, so I did not argue with Terry.

    Chop, chop, chop.  Terry cut away until I was left with a short pixie.

    “What do you think?  I think that looks about right.”  Terry picked up the photo and held it up to the mirror next to my image. “What about color?  We use a very good color here.”

    I could not speak.

    “Would you like to schedule your next appointment?”

    “Next appointment?  Oh, well, I won’t be needing a next appointment until April – 2013.”

    A Laugh for Friday: The Black Bra Joke

    Friday, December 2nd, 2011

    Jane

     

    This joke was sent to me by Betsy, one of our contributors, and I just had to share it.  Apologies to all of you who have already heard it!!! 


    (as told by a woman)

    I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

    We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

    Here’s how it all went.

    My engaged friend:
    The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, “You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.”

    Then we made passionate love all night long.

    The mistress:
    Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and a mask over my eyes.

    When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

    Then I had to share my story:
    When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.

    When he came in the door and saw me he said,

    (You’ll love this)

    “What’s for dinner, Zorro?”

     

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