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    Archive for the ‘Other Voices’ Category


    Fatimah: Being a Proud & Grateful Parent of a Parent: Part III: TRUST

    Thursday, May 17th, 2012

    FATIMAH'

    In my first writing for OOPS 50, I mentioned several words that have impacted my relationships with my parents and with all people I encounter.  These chosen words shape my living and my writing and should be shared again.  My chosen words:

    ALLOW-TRUST-REMEMBER-STAND-give CHOICE- BE RESPONSIBLE-RESPECT-CREATE AUTHENTICITY- LET GO- and have GRATITUDE 

    You may, from time to time, experience similarities or repetitions in my word usage or phrases.  They all relate.  They are all my foundation.  Today, I am adding GRATITUDE to my list, but I want to talk about TRUST.

    Let’s see what Webster’s and the thesaurus have to say about TRUST.

    WEBSTER’s (short version):  RELIANCE, INTEGRITY, STRENGTH, CONFIDENCE, RELIES UPON, ENTRUSTED, SAFEKEEPING, RESPONSIBILITY. 

    The thesaurus says: TRUSTWORTHY, ASSURANCE, CERTAINTY, CONVICTION, CREDENCE, DEPENDENCE, ENTRUSTMENT, SURENESS. 

    Trusting could be viewed as a ‘thin’ line between knowing and not knowing, between asking “is it real or Memorex?”  One of my many mentors states that, if you question, an opportunity presents itself to look within yourself—and the answer will be there.   

    Pape's 106 Birthday Celebration

    As we mature, we become wise women, or at least wiser women, acquiring from experiences the processes and effects of trusting or not—who, what, when—those nagging questions and details. 

    I am speaking here about trusting SELF, the big trust!  The scary trusting!  The questionable trust.  The fear that comes just from the thought of trusting self is a BIGGY!  To do so, for me, requires constant, conscious awareness of self, allowinghere again, utilizing another one of my words—that the work must be done: going to the edge, jumping off, and trusting that there is a net below!  

    Trusting in something we cannot see, touch, or feel is scary.  Or does feeling even have value?  Feel what you are feeling!

    For my parents to have unconditional trust in me to care for them required some releasing, some trusting that they had done a great job in raising me, that they will be cared for—some letting go, to a degree, of being in charge, moving from being the doer to being done for. Bottom line:  a lot was required of them!

    Being the proud and grateful parent of my parents was and is a heart-intense journey.  And I do mean intense. (more…)

    Why A Nice Jewish Girl From Brooklyn Joined a Gospel Choir

    Monday, May 14th, 2012

    Annice

    Meet my friend Marjorie. I met her in Washington, D.C. back in 1982 or 1983 at our local gym on M St.  We were sitting in the steam room, and she remarked how she hadn’t see me with my friend lately and wondered what happened.   I told her she moved to Boston to go to back to school, and how much I missed her.  She immediately reached out, and we became best friends after that.  Neither Marjorie nor I are in D.C. anymore, and I wish we were closer.  She has always inspired me to look for joy wherever it is.  Here she is singing in a gospel choir, and here is her story.

    Marjorie

    I have always wanted to sing in a gospel choir.  The energy and music is so uplifting.  You can be in the biggest funk…tired, depressed, or overwhelmed with your day and your life, but when you start singing it’s as though you’ve been totally transported to another place and time.

    When I lived in San Francisco I sang in two choruses.  I never had a great voice, but good enough to be part of the choral group.  One of my “gigs” was in the San Francisco Gay Men and Women’s Chorus.  My next door neighbor at the time knocked on my door one evening and asked me if I liked to sing.  Well, “yes” I said, but I’m not good.  He said not to worry that it was just a fun group and they sang show tunes.  It turned out to be a little more professional than I was, but I still enjoyed it, and realized what a high I got from singing.  Then my “voice” went downhill (literally).  I was really distressed over it, but the ENT guy I went to said it “wasn’t cancer,” but I would have to give up my operatic career.  I fell over laughing.

    So years went by without a song in my heart and last December, right before Christmas, my friend Nancy and I went to a local cafe here in Petaluma, (CA) for breakfast and the Wings of Glory was singing.  I checked it out and low and behold they are here practically right in my backyard!  The best things about this group are 1) you don’t have to audition 2) you don’t have to have a great voice and 3) there is no commitment to show up for rehearsals every week or attend the performances.

    Wings of Glory

    I haven’t missed a rehearsal yet!  The members are some of the most welcoming people I’ve ever met.  Last weekend we sang with the Oakland Interfaith Choir.  You want to hear great voices….that’s the ticket.  Any one of them could go on American Idol and win!  There was also a Jewish A Capella group there called Vocolat and they were singing Hebrew and Yiddish songs…I  felt more at home.

    We are the token white gospel choir, but we have the spirit and the “moves.”  We are invited to perform at a number of different venues.  Churches, of course, but also wineries and other events around the area.

    So, how is it, you ask, to be singing about Jesus for a nice Jewish girl from Brooklyn?  Well after all, Jesus was a nice Jewish boy from Bethlehem.  And at least they both start with a “B”, right!?  And, if you’re ever in my neck of the woods please come and hear us sing.  You will be looking for a gospel choir in your area instead of a therapist!

    Farmer Nancy: I Heard My Father’s Voice Yesterday

    Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012

    Nancy and her daughter, Hannah

    I heard my father’s voice yesterday.

    He died in 1981, July 7th, seven eleven, kind of hard to forget that one.  He was 65.  We had a sick family joke of him kicking off just when he was starting to collect social security; then my mom died at 65, five years later, and so did that joke.

    My dad was born in Asheville, the baby of the family, when my grandmother was 40.  He had two older brothers and a sister.  He loved horses and playing basketball.  He played high school basketball and then in the mill leagues.  I have a large wallpaper sample book that my grandmother turned into a scrapbook with clippings of his games.  He joined the National Guard so he could be in the Cavalry unit.  He was offered a basketball scholarship to Wake Forest, but his best friend Crowell Little was going to UNC – and, on his way to college, my dad went to visit Crowell.  He never left Chapel Hill.

    He found ways to earn money and played on the Tarheels basketball team.  He became president of Graham Memorial and was in charge of entertainment for the campus.  He ran with the likes of Terry Sanford and even dated Margaret Rose before Terry married her.  He was the caller for the square dance team that was so good, they even played the Waldorf Astoria in New York.  His nickname was Fish, and for years I tried to find out why.  I was always told it was something to do with his being at the Y and swimming so much.  After he died, Crowell told me it was because the girls liked him so much that it was just like tossing a line out and reeling them in.

    Like most of the Greatest Generation, my dad never talked about WWII,  and I am ashamed to say that I didn’t prod him about it.  I never expected to lose him so soon.  I do have several newspaper articles that were written about his time there, and, before he died, Crowell told me some stories as well.

    One of those stories involved flying from North Africa to Italy and bringing back the plane loaded with wine.  Another time, he was the pilot for Jimmy Doolittle and as he was taxiing the plane down the runway, he put on the brakes too hard, and the nose dived, and Jimmy Doolittle had to find another plane to continue on.

    The only scary story I heard was of the time my dad returned from a mission, and there was a hole in the plane right behind his seat.  An altitude exploding bomb had gone right through the plane and had exploded high above them.  I’m sure there were other tense times.  He flew 75 bombing missions.  I just recently pulled out all of his colorful bars and medals and have been looking them up on the internet to see what they all mean.

    My dad came home from the war, married my mom and settled in her home town of Chattanooga.  He worked at a furniture store for the rest of his life.  To me, he had the glamor of a Don Draper from “Mad Men” – but without the smoking, drinking and womanizing.  I just recently realized that this year will mark the beginning of my having lived longer without my dad than with him.  I still miss him.

    But I did hear his voice yesterday.

    Ever since my mom passed, and her house co-mingled with mine, I’ve had this cassette tape from 1969, a recording of a retirement dinner for one of the furniture salesmen.  Too afraid to play it without breaking it, I took it to a studio and had it transferred to a CD.  I had suspected that my dad might have been the host of the evening, and I was right.  There were many people talking, and at first I didn’t realize it was him – but then dim memories from 30+ years ago spread a smile across my face.  I listened as his gentle humor led what essentially was a roast of this person.  I tried to pick out my mother’s laughter out of the crowd.  What a treasure this tape is!  My daughter will be able to hear the voice of the grandfather she never knew,  and I can go back and close my eyes and for a moment, have my dad again.

    Oops50: Sending a Shout-Out for Writers

    Tuesday, April 24th, 2012

    Annice

    Girlfriends,

    It’s been several years since we last sent a shout-out asking you to contribute a blog post with us at Oops50.com.  Your responses have been overwhelming, and for that, we thank you.  We heard from cops, farmers, actresses, retirees, mothers, caretakers, yoga teachers, etc.   

    So again, we invite all you baby boomers to share your stories, your dreams, and your regrets with our readers.  We know there are tons of subjects to write about because at this point, you’re not afraid to speak your mind! 

    Some of our favorite categories are: Friendship, Family, Cooking, Gardening, Pets,  Health and Wellness, Spirituality, Menopause, Sleep (or the lack of), Work, Retirement, Starting Over, Books, Films, and of course, your favorite products.  Or, if you have a new category, just go for it. 

    If you’re interested, please contact me at Annice@oops50.com and I’ll send you our guidelines.  And, don’t forget to spread the word. 

    Introducing Suzie Ivy: The Bad Luck Officer

    Wednesday, April 4th, 2012

    SUZIE IVY

    When I was forty-four years old, I experienced a run of bad luck that culminated with a serious accident on my horse leaving me with a broken hip. Add this to a major midlife crisis, empty nest syndrome, and a slow steady weight gain of more than forty pounds and you will understand that I was in a real funk.

    When I was able to put my walker aside and make a slow unassisted stroll, I found myself staring at a community bulletin board and reading a poster which advertised a police position at our local department. The key words that caught my eyes were, “No age is too old.”

    I started exercising, eating less and striving toward a nearly forgotten teenage dream. I turned forty-five years old, passed all the department requirements and went to the police academy. Against all odds, I passed the rigorous physical and psychological torture to become the first female officer in the small Arizona town where I live.

    I am now fifty years old and our first female detective. My daily shift consists of major felony cases including homicide with my specialty being sex crimes. I’ve written two books about my true-life adventures and write a weekly blog post at http://badluckdetective.com about the humorous side of my job.

    I’m a menopausal woman with a badge and a gun. I can’t think of a better place than Oops50 to meet other women who are achieving their dreams or looking for inspiration to take life by the horns and make their mark.

    Oops50 puts a smile on my face as I see what incredible women are achieving regardless of age and sometimes in spite of it. If the space program is brought back, my goal for age sixty-five is to be an astronaut. What could possibly stop me?

    BAD LUCK OFFICER

     

     

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