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    Archive for December, 2011


    Being a Proud and Gratified Parent of a Parent

    Wednesday, December 14th, 2011

    Our dear friend Fatimah’ has been caring for her elderly parents for many years.  We thank her for sharing her experience with us.  Here is her story:

    FATIMAH'

    I offer my heartfelt congratulations to each of you—to each of us—for at some point on your journey, you may become a Proud & Gratified Parent of a Parent.  Ladies 50-plus, you are my sistah’s in many an unknown way.  Thus the subject and title of my first sharing with Oops 50!

    Yes, indeed, one of my highlights in life is having the honor of caring for my parent(s).  For those whose parents are still with us, I say again, “Congratulations!”  And, for the parents gone on, “Thank you!”  Some of my friends say that I have a lot to share regarding the honorable role of care-taking for a parent.  And I just might agree.  Here is my first 50cents on the subject.

    Over the years, I have had, and am still having, powerful transformative experiences through caring for both of my parents.  My mom (R.I.P) was challenged with dementia, but this little, yet extremely powerful lady was with us until she was 98.

    MY MOTHER

    My pape’ is still with me at the tender age of 105.  One thing that’s for sure – the role of parent is not an easy one.
    I have come to realize (considering my parents’ ways, ideas, beliefs, habits & histories) they did absolutely the very best they could for me.  From the time I was a little girl until high school, my mom and I had some moments, mainly to remind me that she was the boss, the goddess, the doer, the artist, the one who stuggled.  I now know that within those ‘who’s boss’ experiences, she was empowering me—by standing in her own power.  Little did I know then that her ground rules were roots for my survival – her creative gifts, food for my soul.  Her fierceness was my foundation for growth and empowerment.

     

    MY PAPE'

    My pape’, a gentle man indeed, has his ways, beliefs, history and experiences too.  Pape’ and I flow 97% of the time with ease.  The few confrontations we’ve had only began as he got older and realized that his physical self and gentlemanly ways were changing. His man-ness, too, was shifting.

    So, from then to now, what have I gained through the honorable role of being ‘A Proud & Gratified Parent of a Parent’ –that makes me congratulate myself…in gratitude?  I’ll start with some critical words for me:

    Allow, Trust, Remember, Stand,

    Give Choice, Be Responsible, Respect, Create Authenticity,

    Let go!

    (more…)

    Sadhvi Sez: It’s beginning to feel a lot like…

    Monday, December 12th, 2011

    SADHVI

    I’ve started to get into the Holiday spirit.

    It started with the first snowflakes last week, the Christmas songs I’ve been playing while baking the things that I love to send to my family, and the tangible joy I feel when I roast chestnuts as a street vendor with my husband.

    This year there are more and more people who are trying chestnuts for the first time.  And loving them.

    Knowing that they aren’t nuts, that they are a complete protein (you can live on them), that they’re alkaline, and they contain very little fat might be the reason.  Or could it be that they’ve been growing all summer in Italy, so that you are, in fact, eating “Italian Sunshine”?

    HOT ROASTED CHESTNUTS!

    Without chestnuts, I don’t know if I could handle winter.  I’ve made a simple Chestnut soup for dinner tonight.  I like easy, simple, and satisfying.

    For my family who are far from me every year, I used the recipe that I have for making my Swiss Linzer Torte.  But instead of rolling out the dough for the torte, I just pinch off some pieces and roll it in a ball, press down in the middle with my thumb, and fill with raspberry jam, if I have it.  And some other kind if I don’t.  I bake them for about 15 minutes, and then sprinkle with some of the ground almonds.  Everyone loves them.  You will too!

    “Swiss Linzer Thumbprint Cookies”.

    SWISS LINZER COOKIES & ST. NICK

     

    On Hearing that our Daughter is Engaged

    Wednesday, December 7th, 2011

     Our oldest daughter, Lizzie, who is 24 years old, walked in the other night and announced that she and her boyfriend, Janson, had just gotten engaged!  We had a feeling this was coming.  (Janson had already told us both that he loved our daughter and was not going anywhere.) And yet, now that it has, I’m finding myself a little floored by the news.  I’ve been hearing voices in my head:  “She’s too young!”  “Do they know what they’re doing?”  “I’m too young for this!”  I feel as if I’ve aged overnight—and I’m not quite ready!

    It’s not that I’m not happy about the news—or that we think it’s happening too fast.  Lizzie met Janson last summer, and he’s a wonderful guy—with a great sense of humor—who has found his way easily right into our hearts.  She met him through a friend of hers—at a time when she was not expecting to meet anyone.  Isn’t that how it always happens?  And they hit it off instantly.  He seems perfect for Liz:  their temperaments are compatible; they love each other; they share many of the same values.  What more could we ask for?

    It’s just that, once all this happened—and after I’d come down from the cloud of excitement—I realized that maybe I wasn’t prepared for our baby girl to be taking this next step.  First of all, it seems impossible that she could be old enough.  After all, just a minute ago,  she was only four years old!  I keep thinking of “Fiddler on the Roof” and Tevye’s song: “Is this the little girl I carried?  Is this the little boy at play?  I don’t remember growing older.  When did they?”  How in the world did she get to be 24 so quickly?  And how in the universe could I be old enough to have a daughter old enough to get married? 

    How quickly these big, momentous things happen! I guess that’s the terrifying thing:  life is always faster-moving and less predictable than you think it is when you’re stuck down in the weeds, dealing with the day-to-day mess. In any case, it’s great.  They are great!  And I’m going to have a share a picture of the cute couple, so people can see how darling they are! 

     

     I’m sure I’ll get used to this soon.  I know one thing:  no matter how long it takes me, I’ll adjust sooner than Tom (my husband), who has been laid flat out on the floor!!

    I Did A Really Stupid Thing

    Tuesday, December 6th, 2011

    Annice

    Oops.  I did a really stupid thing.  I was driving around doing errands on Saturday when I looked into the rear view mirror and saw how ghastly my hair looked.  I was in the middle of a hair emergency without an appointment.  I haven’t been happy with my stylist lately, and in fact I’ve been shopping around.  I’m tired of paying a lot, and not being satisfied.  All that to say, I ended up driving to the nearest cheap hair salon I spotted on the highway, and walked in.

    After all, aren’t all the stylists in those kind of places recent grads who know the latest techniques?  Aren’t they just working at these cheap places to get experience, build up a clientele, and move on?

    I walked in.  “Hi, can someone cut my hair now?”

    Behind the desk, the receptionist, sporting a great haircut, looked up.

    “Sure.  Give me your coat and take a seat.  I’ll get Terry (not her real name).”

    .

    Sitting in Terry’s chair, I looked around.  The place was dumpy, looking like the low-end salon it was.

    Out walks Terry smelling badly from cigarette smoke.  Her face was covered with deep wrinkles and when she smiled, she was missing a few teeth.  I won’t bother to detail the many different colors of her hair ranging from burnt orange to caramel.

    OMG.  I had a sick feeling in my stomach as I sat in Terry’s chair, a prisoner, held hostage by my own stupidity.  It was too late to turn back.

    I tried to imagine the best case scenario.  Maybe she was a recovering addict from NYC and came to the mountains to get her life back together.  She wouldn’t be the first.  Or maybe she was a super stylist from NYC.  Anything was possible.

    “Is that a natural curl?” she asked.

    “Yes, and I happen to have a photo of the cut I like in my wallet.”  I handed the photo to Terry.

    She looked at it for a second.

    “No problem.  I’m great with curly hair, been cutting hair in Asheville since 1994.  Raised four kids as a single mom cutting hair.”

    “Ever been to New York?”  I could only hope.

    “Never been out of Asheville.  Never had the desire.”

    “Never.  Not even for a visit?”

    MY NEW HAIRCUT

    “Nope.  I’m gonna  cut your hair dry.  It’s the best way to cut curly hair.”

    I knew that was a fair statement and such technique existed, so I did not argue with Terry.

    Chop, chop, chop.  Terry cut away until I was left with a short pixie.

    “What do you think?  I think that looks about right.”  Terry picked up the photo and held it up to the mirror next to my image. “What about color?  We use a very good color here.”

    I could not speak.

    “Would you like to schedule your next appointment?”

    “Next appointment?  Oh, well, I won’t be needing a next appointment until April – 2013.”

    A Laugh for Friday: The Black Bra Joke

    Friday, December 2nd, 2011

    Jane

     

    This joke was sent to me by Betsy, one of our contributors, and I just had to share it.  Apologies to all of you who have already heard it!!! 


    (as told by a woman)

    I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

    We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

    Here’s how it all went.

    My engaged friend:
    The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, “You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.”

    Then we made passionate love all night long.

    The mistress:
    Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and a mask over my eyes.

    When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

    Then I had to share my story:
    When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.

    When he came in the door and saw me he said,

    (You’ll love this)

    “What’s for dinner, Zorro?”

     

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