SADHVI

These days I seem to be running into people who are either dropping out of Facebook, etc., or they are trying to keep up, and are feeling overwhelmed.  And then there are folks like my husband, who never wanted any part of it and thinks it is a complete waste of time! Someone sent me the following email; I don’t know who wrote it, and I hope no one is offended. No matter where you are in the spectrum, I do hope you enjoy reading it like I did.

“When I bought a Blackberry cell phone recently, I thought about the business I ran for 30 years with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter.

I only signed up for Facebook and Twitter because of the pressure from my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grand-kids and 2 great-grand-kids who told me they would be able communicate with me in the “modern way” if I did.

Not wanting to be left behind, I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grand-kids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie, Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone started beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation.

I was not ready to live like that.

So now I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids then bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library.  I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth headset (it’s red, by the way).

Which I was supposed to use when I drive.  I wore that Blue tooth while standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone within 50 yards started glaring at me.  Maybe it was because I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I think I got a little too loud.

As far as the GPS goes, it did look pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time.

Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, “Re-calc-u-lating.”  You would think that she could be nicer.

It was like she could barely tolerate me.  She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn by mistake, well, let’s just say it was not a good relationship.

Now when I get lost, I just call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house.

We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven’t figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings!

The world is just getting too complex for me.

They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store.  You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden “Paper or Plastic?” question every time I check out just knocks me for a loop.

I bought some of those cloth, reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them.

When they ask me, “Paper or Plastic?”,  I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me.  I am bi-sacksual.”

Then it’s their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

It’s only fair.

I was recently asked if I Tweet?

I answered, “No, but I do toot a lot.”

I just want to end by saying that I really don’t need any more gadgets to connect.

The TV and the garage door remote are about all I want to handle!”

I want to enjoy life…how about you?