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    Archive for November, 2010


    Beautiful Women over 50: Yvette the Powerful Crone

    Monday, November 15th, 2010

    Yvette in the Mountains

    When I turned 50 my Mom wanted to give me a broom for my birthday.  I want that broom.  I really want to be a Crone when I grow up: a Crone with a broom.

    I want to be from a time where the wisdom of the elderly is sought after.  I am trying to still be reaching forward instead of the free fall to the end of life.

    That Red Hat Society, bless their hearts, has it all wrong in my perfect world.  It’s not that we are free to do whatever we want now but that we speak and act with the wisdom of our years and experience.  The rest of the world sees this as senile.  That’s our society’s inside out way; we are permitted to be senile now.  Go ahead and wear purple and red together. We who are women over 50 are floating in that cast off world struggling to figure out our new identity.

    Baba Yaga the Powerful Crone

    Here’s the modern view of Crone from Wikipedia (that semi-serious popular culture voice of ours):

    The Crone is a stock character in folklore and fairy tale, an old woman who is usually disagreeable, malicious, or sinister in manner, often with magical or supernatural associations that can make her either helpful or obstructing. 

    She is marginalized by her exclusion from the reproductive cycle, and her proximity to death places her in contact with occult wisdom.  As a character type, the Crone shares characteristics with the hag.

    She’s certainly no youthful beauty, but marginalized?  Well, I see her as powerful.

    And I see my hot flashes as a type of downloading of wisdom.  I view myself as a Crone in the making.  Come with me you powerful women.  I have no idea where we can go because the path has become grown over with eons of strangling vines, but I do believe the path is right in front of us!

    Yvette

    So hand me my broom…but skip the pointy hat, please.

    Yvette is a single mom of 3 (2 in college and one at home) who inadvertently swims upstream in most of life’s dealings. 

    She’s a homeschooling Mom, runs her own business as an early childhood music educator (Have you ever heard a 10 week old baby sing?), a flute player, an avid reader, and runs the slow food kitchen in her house.  Given any free time at all she’ll knit and think.

    How far would you drive for a great AFFORDABLE haircut?

    Saturday, November 13th, 2010

    Annice

    How far you would drive for a great AFFORDABLE haircut?  Would you drive 2.5 hours?  I confess, I did exactly that.  Included in that haircut was color to banish the gray, a few caramel-colored highlights that my sister says is needed to lighten up the face, and since I had to wait for the color anyway, I went ahead and had my eyebrows waxed.  So there, I drove 2.5 hours up and over the mountains (round-trip) from Asheville, NC to Unicoi, TN for a day of high maintenance.  On the way, I picked up my friend Betty in Marshall where we had breakfast  at Zuma’s before heading out to the Dragonfly Salon.

    Me, Betty and Zuma's

    “Why do it?, my husband asks.  “You’re crazy.  You mean to tell me there is not one hairdresser in all of Asheville who can cut your hair?”  Of course there is, but I don’t feel like paying two hundred dollars every time I need a cut and color.  You see, I was spoiled by Mari, who is not only a great haircutter and colorist, but does it very affordably.

    The Infamous Dragonfly Salon in Unicoi, TN

    Me and Mari - the process begins

    When Mari first moved to Tennessee I told myself I would never drive to another state for a haircut.  That was before I spent two years in search of the perfect hairdresser, stopping women everywhere asking them who cut their hair and how much they paid.  I had no shame.  I want to tell you, no one has ever accused me of being cheap.   I completely support stylists getting as much as they can for their haircuts.  It’s just that I can’t pay those big city prices, and let’s not forget that the economy tanked and without any cost of living increase over the last three years, my salary has been going down instead of up.  And yes, I’m happy to have a job – no whining here.

    So, after considerable introspection, I embarked on the Big C (the big compromise).  I opted to go local and accept a mediocre haircut and color at half the price.  That lasted for two years until my mediocre stylist turned what was supposed to be brown hair (with caramel highlights) totally blond.  I screamed.  I had no one to blame but myself.  Why did I tell her to leave her lazy husband who hadn’t worked for two years and forced her to pay the mortgage, the loan for his houseboat, and his kid’s vacation at Disneyland?   No doubt, my blond hair was  punishment for giving out free advice when not asked!

    So that’s how I ended up driving 2.5 hours to Tennessee with my good friend Betty,  only to return to North Carolina at 4:00 in the afternoon, nicely coiffed and colored.  And in case you’re wondering why I  just don’t go gray, let me tell you, if the economy gets any worse, I will have to because I won’t be able to afford the gas.

    Annice and Betty looking good!

    Beautiful Women Over 50: Gwendie Takes a Real Age Test!

    Wednesday, November 10th, 2010

     

    Gwendie

    I took one of those online tests today, you know the kind.  You go to a website (in this case, it’s www.realage.com, you can try it yourself).  Apparently it has been recommended by both Dr. Oz AND Oprah Winfrey, so it must be good, right?  You answer a whole bunch of questions about your health, habits, diet, fitness, and relationships.  Then they send you a “Personalized Real Age and Plan to Improve” (assuming that most of us are “older” than our real age, based on the kinds of good living questions included on the test.  NO ONE can truthfully answer them all “correctly.”)

    Anyhow, I was pleased to be able to report that I ALWAYS wear seat belts, my parents stayed together until I was at least 18, I quit smoking 40 years ago and I don’t get secondhand smoke, I’ve had my pneumonia vaccine, I eat lots of fruits and veggies, and I do some moderate amount of exercise and a bunch of other good stuff, too.

    Of course, I also have metastatic cancer, have a BMI over 28, take more than 5 prescription drugs, and don’t go to church once a week.  And those things must count for a BUNCH of bad points, because, ladies and gentlemen, RealAge has calculated, for my personal use and benefit, that while my actual age is 69.1 years, my REAL AGE is 91.6!

    Yes, that’s right, ninety-one point six.  I’m as old as my neighbor Mr. Bradburn who still tills and plants a big garden every year and chops his own wood to heat his house.  And who, by the way, also mows my grass—for free.  So how bad can 92 be?  Well, bad, because he also suffers from all kinds of ailments, so can you imagine what his Real Age would be?

    Boy, RealAge really knows how to encourage a gal.  My Real Age is 20+ years more than my chronological age, and the best they can do with suggestions for improvement is to lose weight, watch those drug interactions, and eat more complex carbohydrates!  Hot diggity dog.

    Big help, they are.  And if I do all those things, I can bring my Real Age down to 85.  Yea!!!

    I tell you one thing, I’m going to think twice before taking any more of those online questionnaires.  It’s just too depressing, and that’s not good for my health.  Although, come to think of it, I’m doing pretty darn well for a 92 year old!

    Menopause, Facial Hair, and Accepting What IS

    Monday, November 8th, 2010

    Sadhvi

    Being a woman over 50, I thought I might want to write something about Menopause every now and again.  It isn’t taboo, but I think that for me it’s just been so intense that I don’t know what to say.

    Really.  I mean, who wants to hear someone write about how they don’t know who they are anymore?   Besides, I have a funny feeling that dealing with this Change is kind of like trying to find the “perfect  bra”, having the “perfect job”, or communicating clearly with my husband: there really isn’t an answer, it’s just a mystery and a challenge to be lived on a daily basis!

    Not only is there the pressure to look good these days, to be thin enough not to be considered “fat”, to not be negative, but rather positive, to be politically and socially correct, to work out or do some sort of Yoga or Pilates to stay in shape as I get older, but every morning there’s the challenge of facial hair.

    Susun Weed

    I have a book, “New Menopausal Years, The Wise Woman Way: Alternative Approaches for Women 30-90″  that I opened from my bookshelf to see what herbalist and Wise Woman Susun Weed had to say about it: you can just click HERE to go to that information online. 

    If you find the time, you should go to one of Susun’s events, and most definitely, buy any of  her books.

    In a nutshell, I can tell you that it’s not going to go away and I will have to keep up with the daily maintenance of it, well, for the rest of my life.  And for everyone’s sake I really hope I don’t forget.

    My mother, who is still alive, has not really spoken much about her Menopausal years to me…maybe the whole topic was as mystifying to her as it is to me now.  Mom?

    In the past couple of years I have had all the symptoms associated with this Change and I am thankful that they didn’t all happen on the same day, because then I wouldn’t be writing to you via this blog post, but rather from a prison cell somewhere in Missouri.

    When it gets brought up with girlfriends, there is always someone who didn’t have ANY symptoms, who is having wild sex all the time with her husband or new, younger lover, or someone who just started taking some hormones from horse urine and swears it makes her look 20 years younger.  Then there are my girlfriends who are in their 60′s who tell me that their menopausal symptoms have never gone away.  So there ya go!  It’s like I said before, it’s all a mystery.

    Maybe it just comes down to accepting this new me as I get older, just as it always been throughout my life of being OK and enjoying what is, no matter what age. 

    Amen, and seriously now, may you have a good night’s sleep and awake with no facial hair in the morning!

    “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

    (Reinhold Niebuhr: American theologian 1892-1971)

    Sending a Shout-Out to Beautiful Women over 50

    Saturday, November 6th, 2010

    Annice

    Sending a Shout-Out to our beautiful women over 50 who’ve been asking about writing a post on the oops50.com blog.

    We invite you (all women over 50) to share your stories and experiences with our readers.  We know there are tons of subjects you care about because we know, like us, you never tire of speaking your mind!  And, don’t forget to ask your mothers, sisters, cousins, friends, colleagues, etc.  We all have intriguing and important stories to tell.   We’ll take your article (not more than 250 words) and we’ll edit it, post it, and promote it.

    Some of favorite categories are: Friendship,  Aging parents, Children/Grandchildren; Cooking; Gardening; Pets;  Relationships; Health and Wellness; Spirituality; Menopause; Sleep (or the lack of); Work; Retirement (I wish); Starting Over; Books; Films; and of course, if you are inspired, you can always write about Death and Taxes.

    If you’re interested, please contact me at: Annice@oops50.com and I’ll send you our guidelines.

    I’m all Ears

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