Annice
Last week, I went to Cleveland to spend time with my aging dad. There was concern–because he fell a few times and could not get up. While I was visiting, various family members made comments such as, “he’s frail, he needs a walker; he might be depressed; he shouldn’t be driving,” etc. And what did I find? Some of the above, but not all. It’s just not that simple.
To know what’s going on, I decided not to depend on the observations of others. When I got the chance to talk to my dad alone (about driving, falling, not wanting to use the walker, etc.), he sat back in his big leather chair, looked me right in the eye, and said, “I wasn’t prepared. I just wasn’t prepared to get old like this and not be able to do the things I want and need to do. I can’t believe it.”
My heart ached for my dad, yet, at the same time, I turned selfishly to my own needs. I immediately started thinking about what I can do to prepare myself so I won’t end up like him at 84. I started to make a list in my head of things I need to do to be more vigilant about my life, like walking, more yoga, better diet, more sleep, and on and on. No time to lose. But then I realized the physical is just one aspect of our life, and, no matter how critical it is, there is more, so much more, that it is hard to talk about. So, while it was a little uncomfortable to talk about such intimate issues with my dad, I knew that I could. We have that history. (more…)
