Are You Discontent? A Transition May Be Imminent!

May 14th, 2013

Barbara Brady

Barbara Brady is a Life Transitions Coach whom Annice and I met at a recent conference. She helps clients merge the logical, rational, left brain with their intuitive, creative, right brain resulting in more satisfying choices through the combined wisdom of head and heart, and she works with a lot of women over fifty!

We asked her to write a series of articles for the blog on dealing with different types of transitions. Here’s her first! I hope that, if you like it, you will add a comment to let her know! Jane

You feel a vague irritability. Small things that normally don’t bother you, now do. You may find yourself hypersensitive to what people say. Your comments may be tinged with sarcasm or cynicism. You may compare yourself to others, envying their work, creative expression, or happy relationship. You may notice your energy is lower than usual, and things that used to excite you, don’t as much. You may feel restless or distracted:

“It’s getting to the point where I am no fun anymore, I am sorry.” –“Judy Blue Eyes,” Crosby Stills Nash & Young

Discontent has been defined as: “a longing for something better than the present situation” and “showing or experiencing dissatisfaction or restless longing” (www.cogsci.princeton.edu/cgi-bin/webwn). The good news is: discontent is often a warning sign that change is coming, that a transition is imminent. It’s a wake-up call from the spirit, saying, “Hel-looooo! What are we doing here? (In this relationship, job, situation, etc). Something needs to change!” It’s a message that something in your life isn’t working.

This discontent that is tugging at your sleeve needs to be thanked and attended to. It’s a sign that you’re on a trajectory that you don’t want to stay on indefinitely. To be in charge of your life – e.g. at cause, vs. at effect, you need to really make discontent your friend and see what it’s trying to tell you. When you really pay attention and “get it”, you can then proactively make the choice for a transition that will move you forward in the direction you want, in the way you want, with grace.

Discontent is a Blessing

Let’s face it: without discontent, do you think Columbus would have sailed the ocean blue?

Discontent has been the catalyst that’s spurred me on to take risks, despite my fears, including making geographic and career moves that have enriched my life immeasurably. It’s forced me to question and adjust my thinking and level of acceptance and gratitude, especially in relationships.

Contentment is wonderful, BUT it can imply complacency. Where would the world be if the following people had been complacent: Moses, Jesus, Joan of Arc, Abe Lincoln, Helen Keller, Rosa Parks, Einstein, Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, etc. etc?

Five Steps to Transforming Discontent

1. Learn From the Past – What did you do in the past when you’ve felt discontented? What worked and what didn’t work? If you could do it over again, what would you have done differently? Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: barbara brady, discontentment, post50discontent, womenbabyboomers, womenover50
Posted in Beautiful Women >50, Feeling Overwhelmed, feeling overwhelmed, Living, Main, Other Voices | 5 Comments »

Sadhvi Asks: Are You Ready?

May 11th, 2013

Barbara Kingsolver photo by Annie Griffiths

Last weekend it rained nonstoop for 3 days and 3 nights which amounted to about 5.5 inches of rain in our neck of the woods. I know that doesn’t sound like much maybe, but believe me, it was. And during that time, the sun never ever came out. It felt appropriate that Barbara Kingsolver’s newest book, Flight Behavior, had just become available at the library; one that I’d been waiting for and was excited to read. I really enjoy her books, and love getting lost in them, so it turns out that since there was nothing that I could do outside, I could disappear head first into it.

The book is so good that I want you to go and put yourself on the waiting list at your library, or buy it at your local book store right now, and because I don’t want to spoil it for you by telling you anything about it, I will only tell you what the overall subject is. Which won’t ruin the story that Kingsolver weaves through her characters, which makes her one of my favorite authors. I read on her website that she reads the audio version, and I will get that just to hear her tell the story.

So it’s about climate change. Which no matter what you believe or don’t believe, or feel or don’t feel, is happening right now. And since a few days ago, we have reached and gone beyond the tipping point of what the Earth can handle CO2-wise to keep the climate stable. Which means feeling like it’s winter is the summer, feeling like it’s summer in the winter, and a lot of freakish storms.

Which up until I read Flight Behavior, had me in a subtle state of a tizzy. I mean, I’ve been noticing the weather/season changes for years, being a gardener and all. If I wasn’t tuned in that way, I might not notice it. But since moving to Asheville in 1998, our zone has gone from 6b to 7a. Now those kinds of things don’t happen without the people who watch and know these kind of things noticing!

So if you’ve been feeling a little anxious, or even a bit worried about the future, do take the time and read Flight Behavior. It might make you feel better about the future. After all, I don’t have children and don’t have that blind feeling that people who do seem to have that “everything is OK and everything will be all right”.

So are you ready though, to embrace the change that will be taking place at an accelerated rate? I mean, will you choose to freak out and keep repeating the latest extreme stories that are on the news? Or argue that it’s not true – that there has always been unstable conditions called “the weather”. Or will you start to go inside more and feel the stability of that?

Here is a quote from the book:

“Entomologist Dr. Ovid Byron speaking to television journalist, Tina, who says, regarding global warming,

“Scientists of course are in disagreement about whether this is happening and whether humans have a role.”
He replies:
“The Arctic is genuinely collapsing. Scientists used to call these things the canary in the mine. What they say now is, the canary is dead. We are at the top of Niagara Falls, Tina, in a canoe. There is an image for your viewers. We got here by drifting, but we cannot turn around for a lazy paddle back when you finally stop pissing around. We have arrived at the point of an audible roar. Does it strike you as a good time to debate the existence of the falls?” p.367

I don’t think there is any need for fear, or for trying to protect myself from the reality of our world. Or arguing that it is happening or not. I kind of knew that this was going to happen, didn’t you deep down?

And being the emotional type that feels everything, I know I will feel sad and cry about things I hear about on the news. Which is why I will stay where I am in a place where there are more trees than people, and where flowers and birds make me happy. And paint when I can and surround myself with those friends and family that I love and that love me.

What about you?

The First Iris of the Season

* BTW: All coprights on everything, including my photos.

Tags: 400ppm, barbara kingsolver, climatechange, flight behavior, oops50 sadhvi, womenbabyboomers, womenpost50
Posted in Beautiful Women >50, Books, Entertainment, Main, Products | 7 Comments »

For Pity’s Sake, Relax!

May 8th, 2013

Jane

Excuse me if I rant, but I have been thinking a lot lately about how fast my life is moving–and how fast the lives of all my friends are moving–and about how little relaxation time there is in my life–or in theirs. And here is what I’ve concluded: Americans are crazy, and we are in love with work. We work and work and work, and we never slow down. Even when we relax, we’re working. Take a look at your local YMCA and just watch the testosterone-driven people frantically getting their hour-long daily work-outs completed–and see if you agree with me.

We keep going and we keep going!

I really think that other countries have it way over on us. At least, they have rituals that write relaxation into the story of their daily lives. Germans take breaks and go to the local coffee shop and sit and eat a piece of cake with whipped cream (Schlag) on it. People in India take long breaks in the afternoon to sleep off the heat. English people have their tea breaks. What do we have? : the frantic rush to Starbucks to grab a fancy coffee drink that we don’t even have time to drink before we go to work and work, work, work all day, staying afterwards half the time to finish up some project that has kept us glued to our computer all day, needing coffee to stay awake.

And what about those other rituals that countries have for keeping things in balance on a bigger scale? Europeans go on vacation for long, leisurely weeks. (Americans take maybe their designated two weeks, at the most–and there have been studies that show that many people don’t even take their allotted vacation time.) Scandinavian countries have systemized, months-long maternity and paternity leaves. Our system usually forces us to get right back into work, as soon as possible.

What is wrong with us?

I often reflect how I wish Americans were more thoughtful and introspective about the direction their lives are taking–especially our politicians and leaders–but how can I expect that of anyone, when no one has time to sit and reflect on anything? There is the subway to catch, the lunch to pack, the kid to pick up from school, the dinner to fix, the soccer game to attend. And, on and on and on, like little robots on a giant treadmill that keeps showing us the same scenery, over and over.

Keep going and going and going!

Tags: balance, relaxation, womenbabyboomers, womenfeelingoverwhelmed, womenover 50, womenover50, working
Posted in Feeling Overwhelmed, feeling overwhelmed, Living, Main, World | 2 Comments »

Monica Devine: Be Dare and Bare

May 5th, 2013

The Mosaic

In our backyard shop/artroom, I am working on a mosaic for our Copper River cabin; a stylized salmon spawning scene that is played out year after year when the reds run aplenty, and we are blessed with the bounty of the catch. A few more months of cutting, shaping and molding until the piece is complete & ready for installation.
Because so many ideas and projects get backed up in my shop, I feel compelled to assign a completion date so I can move on to the next piece. What I’ve discovered lately is the fun of working on multiple projects at once; if the creative juices begin to lag on one, I can crossover onto another for a while and go back and forth between painting and cutting glass.

I listen to music often, noting lines from favorite tunes and writing them on the walls (no worries; the walls are unfinished and meant to be scribbled on) as I’m dancing about from light table to glass grinder to work bench.

So I had the idea of extracting lines from some of my favorite songs, and doing a sketch or painting or collage to match the mood and content.
One day I was viewing art in a local gift shop when I saw my idea being played out…well, almost. The artist rendered lines from various songs in a cornucopia of fonts, each one attractive and unique. Fonts have their own reach and beauty (http://www.fontspace.com) and designers from all over the world are happy to share their creations with crafters and artists. It’s captivating how a font in and of itself can carry so much emotional weight.
Back to my idea of taking a song line and crafting a piece of art. Spontaneity is key…listen, feel…turn up the volume, listen some more and then paint, draw, collage.

The Bittersweet

“The bittersweet between my teeth, trying to find the in-between…” is from the song, Young Blood by The Naked and Famous. I am indebted to my adult children for continually keeping me in step with their generation of music. I absolutely love these guys. Ah, youth.

Angry Eyes

“What a shot you could be if you could shoot at me with those angry eyes…” from the song Angry Eyes by Loggins and Messina. An oldie’s favorite. Grrr.

River

“And it’s good and it’s true, let it wash over you…” from the song, River’s Edge by Great Lake Swimmers. Their music is down-to-earth and ethereal at the same time.

Across the Universe

“Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup…” from the song, Across the Universe sung by Fiona Apple. I admit, I like Fiona’s version better than Lennon’s (blasphemy!)…it’s mellow and hauntingly dreamy.

Live vibrantly, not perfectly. Dare to bare it, as Jan Phillips says. Her inspirational words of wisdom never fail to provide guidance:
“We are healed by creation and the creation of others. We are healed when we transform the events of our lives into other shapes that can be of use – into stories and poems, music and films.”

David DiSalvo offers a more straight forward thought on the human heart’s longing to create:
“Anyone who says, I don’t have a creative bone in my body, is seriously underestimating their skeleton. More to the point, they are drastically undervaluing their brain. Creativity is an integral part of being human, and to deny its expression is like denying the expression of other crucial human elements that we intuitively realize we’d be miserable without.”

Or, on a lighter note, consider Albert Einstein:
“Creativity is simply intelligence having fun.”

And there is always more room for fun in this world.

Monica Devine

What keeps me afloat:

Exploring art, playing music, living in the mountains, wandering (following the trail ahead), wondering (looking up at the stars)…and writing it all down to share here, with you. I write poetry, children’s books, fiction, memoir, and non-fiction. We are so much more than muscle and bone…we are made of our stories.

I consistently wander off the beaten path, and go nowhere without my camera.

Tags: monica devine, music and painting, oops50monicadevine, womenbabyboomerscreativity, womenover50, womenover50artists
Posted in Art, Beautiful Women >50, Creativity, Entertainment, Getting Older, Hobbies, Main, Music, Other Voices | 3 Comments »

Question of the Week: What News Story Brings Back Your Early Teenage Years?

May 1st, 2013

This is an experiment to see if we can get our readers to join in more of a dialogue with us. We are going to pose a question each week, and see if we can get some interesting responses. The question for this week is: “What one news story do you most associate with your early teenage years for you and why?”

Here’s my answer: The assassination of Martin Luther King

And here’s why: at the time of King’s assassination, I was living on an Army post in Germany and feeling sad about our tour there coming to an end—and I was more than a little worried about going back to the States and entering high school. There was a string of assassinations that summer—first King and then Bobby Kennedy—and these events had a powerful effect on me, much more so even than John Kennedy’s death, since I was only in the 4^th grade for that one.

The thing is that James Early Ray changed more than just one man’s life that day when he pulled that trigger: my whole world was turned upside down. The news stories and the pictures from that one event was that the United States had changed, in my head, from a place where beloved relatives lived and you could buy a wonderful hamburger into a land where good people got shot down.

Martin Luther King Jr. and Coretta

The States suddenly seemed dramatically different from our secure, enclosed post at the top of a hill overlooking the little town of Landstuhl, and I couldn’t think about going back there without having day-mares and nightmares. And now, whenever I think about King’s assassination, I feel that same scary, sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. His death was not just the death of a great person—it was the first of many events that shook up my world and made me feel very aware of death, very aware of evil, very aware of how unpredictable and frightening a place the world could be.

Tags: baby boomer women, Martin Luther Kiing., memories, Oops50women, post-50 women, women over 50
Posted in Aging, Main, Politics | 6 Comments »